Steve frowned and nodded. “I saw. And Clarke explained to me a little of what was happening.” understanding lit his eyes and he tilted his head to the side. “Am I getting your job?”
“Possibly,” Brady sighed. “You'll be paired up with Lo. I'll be solo.”
“Interesting,” Steve murmured, his gaze dropping to the floor.
“Steve,” Brady called, getting his attention back.
“Dude, don't even worry.” Steve rolled his eyes and turned towards the door. “Like she was my own sister.” He opened the door and didn't look back as it fell shut behind him.
Brady let the quiet of the house settle in around him. He hadn't been aware of the loudness that having Lo in his life created. Even in the silence when they were together, she filled his senses with color and noise.
Without her nearby, he was more aware of his fatigue. For weeks he'd kept himself on an edge. Needing her, wanting her, not wanting too much from her too soon.
And yet he'd failed.
His confrontation with Miller replayed in his mind. Maybe it was the exhaustion that was finally taking hold of him. He'd been trying to outrun it for weeks now, but without Lo as a distraction, he was faced with his own human limitations.
He'd really screwed up.
He'd been living in some sort of fantasy where the damsel and the knight ride off into the sunset. But here was real. This house, his brother's never ending feud with Spencer, his enduring friendship with Shane, his parents' expectations. He'd neglected to factor in any of the details before he'd fallen in love with Lo.
One threat to her, even a verbal one, and Brady had lost sight of everything.
Now, they would be separated. Because of Brady's need to behave like a caveman where Lo was concerned. Without the desperation to claim her keeping them tethered, he'd have to rely on what they had built in order to make this work.
Because it could all fall apart. Thousands of miles apart, oceans available in which to cast their doubts and second guessing, the odds were not in their favor.
Fear of the unknown tore a gash through his insides. He'd been so incredibly stupid. Lo was not a temporary love. She wasn't the kind of girl that teaches you a lesson about feelings and hearts and hope that you carry into your next relationship.
She was a forever wrapped up in salt water and stardust.
Brady was damned fool.
23
Lo
Lo's phone rang and she lunged across the room for it.
“Wow, desperate much?” Spencer quipped.
“Shut up,” Lo said around a smile. It had been hours since she'd last seen Brady. So much had happened in that time, she was anxious to talk to him.
Everything was different. She would be leaving for South Africa in three days with Steve... Steve. The rules were all different now too. The contest had shifted to a three year sponsorship with Soaring Bird. The competitors were her, Brady, Steve, and Miller freaking Boden. They wouldn't overlap locations, they would all be expected to blog and post pictures, and the Internet would decide 50% of the vote at the end.
Lo was happy she wasn't getting fired. Angry that Miller was still in her life. Weirded out by her new partner. Worried about what this would mean for her and Brady. Especially since she hadn't been able to talk to him.
“Hello?”
“Hey beautiful,” Brady's smooth voice came over the line and she grinned like an idiot. “Whatcha doing?”
“Not waiting on you,” she lied.
He chuckled, sending happy reverberations through her entire body. “Are you with your girls?”
“I am,” she confirmed, her eyes darting to Tessa and Spencer watching her conversation with rapt attention.
“Good. How about you all come over here for dinner. Kip is cooking and he promises it will be delicious.”
Lo dropped her gaze and her voice, turning slightly to the side. “Who else will be there?”
“Me, Bo, Kip, Steve.”
“Hm,” she said, worrying her bottom lip. She wasn't sure if seeing Bo right now would be great for Spencer.
“They have to call truce eventually,” Brady said, reading her mind. “You and I are going to be together. They're going to have to learn to get along. Or at least be civil.”
“I can put up with a lot if Brady is offering to feed me,” Spencer spoke up, a little more life in her voice than had been there all day.
“Okay, we'll be there in ten,” she said.
“No!” Tessa yelled. “I have to change!”
Lo snickered into the phone. “We'll be there in thirty.”
Brady chuckled before hanging up.
Lo held her phone to her chest as she watched Tessa run to her bedroom in a dead panic. Now, what was that all about?
***
“You know what? Bite me, Bo!”
“Just bend over, Clementine, and I'll oblige you.”
Lo stared across the table at Brady, trying to keep her face straight when she really wanted to crack up. He made it worse by winking.
“Would you believe me if I told you this was them getting along?” he asked, reaching for his glass of water.
Lo snorted and covered her mouth with a hand. Brady bumped her knee under the table with his as he grinned at her.
Dinner had gone very well. Kip had made kale salad with a roasted shallots vinaigrette, goat cheese, pistachios, and golden raisins. Conversation was animated, but not hostile. Until Bo and Spencer both offered to do the dishes at the same time. Since neither one wanted to back down, it became a competition. So far, two plates and one glass had been broken.
Tessa rested her forehead in her hand, elbow to the table, and sighed. “I'm just glad they haven't used the garbage disposal yet. When we were kids... there was an incident.”
“What kind of incident?” Lo asked curiously.
“Oh yeah,” Brady spoke up. “In seventh grade, Spencer sent all of Bo's football cards through it.”
“That's awful!” Lo exclaimed.
“Eh, he got her back.” Brady grimaced. “He caught her in the process and stuck her ponytail in the disposal.”
Lo's eyes got big. “That's so dangerous!”
Tessa sat up straight and rolled her eyes. “It jammed the disposal. I was the only other person there, so I had to cut Spencer's hair in order to free her. It had been nearly to her waist and then it was above her shoulders. The girl cried for days.”
Lo frowned. Maybe that was why Spencer was so weird about her hair. She kept it strong and healthy and long, but if anyone ever mentioned it, she would decline the compliment and change the subject. It really was gorgeous hair, though. Long and thick and blonde. It shouldn't even exist.
And Lo didn't want it to be a thing, but it was really hard to ignore how alive Spencer became the moment they crossed the threshold.
“So!” Steve clapped his hands together and rubbed the palms. “What do I need to know about where we're going?”
Lo smiled. Traveling with Steve was going to be very different from traveling with Brady. She had a feeling she was going to be the overly responsible one. The upcoming absence of Brady in the near future hit her suddenly, like a tidal wave of impending loneliness. Her eyes began to burn and she dropped her gaze to the table.
Brady's chair slid loudly across the floor as he stood up. “You guys can talk about that later. I think we need to take a walk.” He came around the table and offered Lo a hand.
“You mean canoodle,” Steve said glumly.
Brady ignored him and wrapped and arm around Lo's shoulders, pulling her into his side. They left the house and walked slowly down the beach, the ocean breeze blowing her hair all over but not blowing away her feeling of melancholy.
“The last time we were out here you told me that our kiss was nothing special,” Brady teased.
“Yep, and you called me man-trap,” she reminded him.
“Yes, I did.” He nodded proudly.
She grinned but it faded after a few steps.
“Steve is a slob. I wish I could have gotten you a better partner, but he's really the best choice. Despite his ability to decimate a living space in under six minutes.”
“Steve was your idea?”
“Yeah.” Brady stopped walking and turned her to face him, his hands at her shoulders. “Tell me what's troubling you so I can make it go away.”
She stared up at his handsome face, wondering how this had even happened. She loved him, of that she had no doubt. But she was also a little bit afraid she needed him. And she didn't like the helplessness that brought with it.
“Is this over?” she asked quietly.
“Nope.” His answer was solid, defined.
“You're sure?”
“Yep.” His mouth split into a smile. “Lo, in case I haven't made this clear, I'll say it now. I'm in love with you.”
Her heart started beating hard against her ribs. “I love you too.”
“Yeah.”
She blinked the wet from her eyes and frowned. He touched the furrow in her brow with a finger, his eyes skating over her face with reverence.
“I'm sorry I screwed up and acted like a shit. Again.”
She pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. “Yes, this is your fault.”
“I know.”
“And it's your fault I'm in love with you.”
His smile didn't look sorry at all. “I know that too.”
She swallowed and nodded. “Good. Then that's covered.”
He gripped her shoulders and dipped his head to have eye contact. “Fight with me for this, Lo. Distance is nothing. It's like parsley on a baked potato. It's not gonna matter in the end.”
She frowned as something new and profound struck her like a lightning bolt to her heart. “I've never felt this before.”
“What? Being in love?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I've never felt loved.”
Brady pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to the top of her head. “I swear it, Lo. You will only ever feel loved by me.”
24
Lo
Lo studied the sun's reflection on the wing of the plane and the clouds as they cut through on their way to the next destination.
It wasn't as exciting as it had been the last time she'd flown out of San Diego. Brady wasn't at her side. His flight had taken off two hours earlier and he was headed to Hawaii. Of all places.
“Damn, that's pretty,” Steve said. He leaned across her and she pressed her back into the seat to get out of his way as much as possible.
Yeah, this traveling with Steve thing was very different.
She understood the reassignment. She didn't like it. She was pissed with Miller for infiltrating her life like this. It wasn't his place. They had ended. And not even recently. They had been broken up with for a while. They didn't stay in contact, they didn't see each other. It was hard for her to believe he was acting out of unresolved feelings for her. He'd had plenty of time to take action in that respect and he hadn't.
In fact, she was starting to think it had nothing to do with her at all and everything to do with Brady.
The idea had been presented by Spencer the night before. Lo had been packing and lamenting on the frustration of Miller being involved in her life at all and Spencer had vocalized the opinion it might be Brady that Miller was obsessed with.
At first, Lo had dismissed it. But it wouldn't leave her mind. It kept coming back. And now, twelve hours later, it was starting to make real sense.
Steve finally sat back in his seat and stopped crowding her.
She didn't know Steve. Not beyond the few times he had helped her when she was in Soaring Bird and the little things Brady had mentioned. Of course, by the end of this trip, she'd probably know him a great deal better.
“Have you ever watched Brady surf?” she asked, swiveling her head towards her new travel companion.
Steve was the classic beach bum, surfer boy, all-American everything. Blond, blue eyes, athletic build. He was missing the height and power that Brady possessed. And he didn't have the mysterious, quiet presence of Kip.
No, Steve was his own animal. He was abrasive and loud and he spoke before thinking; if he ever thought at all. Which made asking him anything kind of comical. She was positive she'd get his honest answer, but there was no way to put a filter on it before his words came tumbling out.
“Are you kidding? I taught him everything he knows,” Steve replied, cocksure of himself. He arched an eyebrow and jerked his chin up at the same time. “Why? Something you need me to teach you this week?”
Lo grinned. “You're adorable. You know that, right?”
The skin around Steve's eyes crinkled up as he smiled hugely. “I actually did know that.” His knees bounced up and down as his eyes skirted the perimeter of the crowded plane. A light sheen of sweat visible on the back of his neck.
Lo leaned closer to him. She caught his eye and he frowned, dipping his head so she could speak privately in his ear.
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, knees still bouncing. “I'm not a good flier.”
“Scared?” She was curious. She'd never been afraid of flying and never understood those people who were.
“Terrified,” he confirmed with another jerky head nod.
“Are you going to puke or anything?” she asked, keeping her voice low.
“No, it's never gotten that bad.” He laughed nervously. “I usually sweat buckets and have to re-hydrate when I land.” He turned serious eyes on her. “Don't tell, 'kay?”
There was something insanely sweet about his request that caused Lo to agree immediately. She patted one of his bouncing knees. “Don't worry, babe. I gotchu.”
He smiled through his grimace. “Why did you ask about Brady's surfing? Not impressed?”
She shook her head. “That's not it at all. I'm incredibly impressed. I actually haven't seen talent come so readily to another rider before. And he acts like he has no idea what I'm talking about. I was beginning to wonder if maybe I was seeing things.”
“Oh, like, because you're banging him, you think he's better than he is?”
She curled a lip at his verbiage. “Steve...” she reprimanded softly.
He rolled his eyes. “Sorry, because you're having sexual intercourse with him.”
The passenger on his other side leaned over to glare at her. Her. Lo. Like this was all her fault. Steve sallied forth, unaware of his crass language. New project: turn Steve into someone she could be out in public with.
“Nah, he's good. Really good. Better than Shane. Maybe even better than Serge.”
“Blasphemy,” she said as she flashed a smile.
“Right?” he let out a stunted laugh. “I've always wondered why he didn't do anything with it. Too afraid maybe.”
“Maybe,” she mumbled without any sort of commitment. “What about Miller Boden? Is Brady better than Miller?”
Steve gave her a suspicious side-eye. “You're joking, right? Miller Boden doesn't belong on the same beach as Brady Samson. That son of a bitch is the biggest hack I've ever seen.” He shifted in his seat and narrowed his eyes at her. “You should know. Why the hell did you date him anyway?”
Lo swallowed hard. It was a question she wasn't often asked. Brady hadn't even asked it. There was something refreshing about Steve's blatant disgust and honest inquiry. “I liked him. He was charming and exciting, and at the time it seemed like a good fit.”
Steve weighed her words and, to her surprise, accepted them. “That's fair I guess. What ended it?”
“It wasn't really a what, more like a who. The who being me. I ended it.” Though over the past week, she'd had a lot of time to go over the ending of that relationship without it hurting. She had come to different conclusions than she had the first time.
“I guess I just knew it wasn't going to ever turn into something sustainable. Miller... was attractive because he was what I knew. I understood him. I understood his motivations.
But just because I understood it, didn't mean I wanted it. I think I eventually figured out what I wanted and it wasn't him.”
“And what is it that you wanted?”
She couldn't help but smile at him crookedly. “Do you get people to open up to you all the time? Is that your superpower?”
Steve's face remained serious and gentle. “Don't change the subject, Fred.”
Fred. Her breath caught in her chest. Steve had christened her with a nickname. She'd been around guy groups long enough to recognize the importance of that. He was giving his approval, his blessing, to be with Brady.
Fred.
She sat back on the cramped chair and stared at the screen on the seat back in front of her as it repeated its loop of in-flight commercials.
“I want it to be okay to be me. I'm not trying to say that it was Miller's fault I didn't feel like I could be myself. I'm saying I chose someone whose personality was just dynamic enough to allow me to hide in the shadows.”
A frown tugged on her face. She'd never tried to put it into words before, but as they had come out, it cleared up the fog in her mind. Maybe it was why every time she caught a hint of sun reflecting off the water, she ran straight for it, craving it, needing it, surrounding herself with it. Because she wanted to desperately escape the shadows she kept living in. Whether it was the shadow of her parents and their dysfunctional relationship, or the shadow of whatever guy she had decided to hitch herself to.
“Out of the shadows then,” Steve remarked, nudging her knee with his (which had stopped bouncing).
A bittersweet smile curved along her lips. “Being with Brady is like pure sunshine. All of the time.” A pang of loneliness swept through her. She didn't even know when she'd get to see him again. Maybe when they came back to home base in eight weeks. Two months without him after having him to herself every single day.
Because of Miller Boden.
Well, no. That wasn't entirely fair. It was easy to blame it all on Miller but if Brady hadn't gone completely caveman, they'd probably both be going to South Africa together right now. And Miller wouldn't be looking at a possible three year contract with Soaring Bird.
Like the Back of My Halo Page 19