It would take too much time.
The ocean was old. Older than anything else on earth. And while she had never had a home with a man, her home was limitless in its location. If she could touch saltwater, she was found.
Lo stepped further into the South Pacific, slowly, until it reached her knees, then her thighs. She closed her eyes, smiled, and plunged underwater.
She swam to the ocean floor, pressed her palms to the sand, felt it's rough texture. The water here was clear enough to see ocean life all around; the sun shone through, creating beams of light cutting through layers of blue. Lo surfaced to get a fresh breath. She pushed her hair back and grinned at nothing.
The freedom was infinite. An echo through her soul that no longer felt lonely. It felt... returned.
So much about Brady scared her. His intensity, his bold living, the way he communicated his exact intentions with her, how he used the word love without hesitation. She wanted to plunge headfirst into his wildness, bathe in his tides like she did the sea.
It was practically compulsion, her desire for him.
She loved him.
But she wanted more.
She wanted to love him with the same sort of fearlessness she had to live alone. She wanted to love him as she was, as she came. Without pretense and full of the flaws she knew were all her own. Love that was strong in its vulnerability, bursting in its artlessness. Everlong in its time, uncommon in its loyalty.
Maybe that was why she'd been called to the sea out of a deep sleep early in the morning. Here was where she felt safe to simply feel. Here she could dream without fear of rejection. Here she could ask herself the tough questions and listen to the answer reverberate in her soul.
She dove below the surface again, milling with the sea creatures and swimming closer to the reef. The colors so crisp and bright, the reef teeming with life.
A dark shadow from above caused her to spin her body around to view the maker. A sharp pain sliced through her foot as she bumped the reef in her haste—a reminder even beautiful things held sharp edges.
Her eyes fastened on the looming shadow and she stilled.
A large tiger shark circled above her. He was skimming the surface, his dorsal fin cutting through the liquid glass.
Lo's lungs burned and tightened, wanting to inflate with clean air again. She flicked her eyes to her foot and saw the red spiraling out of the open cut.
Crap.
Shark attacks were very often unprovoked. A simple “wrong time, wrong place” misunderstanding. Lo had no intention of provoking the otherwise peaceful shark. But blood in the water wasn't going to do her any favors.
She held perfectly still, ignoring the scream of her lungs.
The tiger circled again, coming closer to her. He slowed, his eyes connecting with hers.
Time stopped.
Every thudding heartbeat in her chest took minutes to complete. The burn of the gash in her foot intensified. She didn't dare move or look away.
The shark circled once more and Lo lost sight of him. She waited, counting in her head one...two...three... She turned achingly slowly and caught the sight of his tail headed out to deeper water.
She wasted no time in surfacing.
The air never tasted so fresh. She sucked in huge breaths as she swam to the safety of shore. What a wild moment. All of her years in the water, all of the time spent feeling at home in the ocean, but that was a first. Face to face with a shark while she was bleeding.
Face to face with a shark, period.
The cut on the top of her foot burned and she hurried back to her villa to get it cleaned out. Stupid. She should've been more careful. This wasn't her first coral cut.
Coral reefs were gorgeous to observe, but dirty and full of bacteria. One small nick and could literally kill you. The possibility of infection was high. She'd have to wash it carefully. At least it was on the top and not the bottom. It would be easier to see any chucks of coral that may have gotten stuck in the wound.
She limped along, the strap to her flip flop rubbing uncomfortably close to the open cut.
“Halo?”
She paused and briefly lamented the absence of the shark.
“Miller,” she said, turning around to face her ex. “I really don't have time.” She took a quick visual glance of her surroundings. It was still early in the morning and this was the section of the resort that wasn't really near any of the main buildings. Miller looked like he hadn't been to bed yet. Maybe he hadn't.
“I just want to talk,” he said, taking a step towards her. He spotted the blood on her foot. “Are you hurt?”
“Yeah, I was swimming this morning and I hit some coral. That's why I need to go.”
“You can wash it in my place,” he offered, nodding his head to the small villa on his left.
She sighed. “No. That's not a good idea.” She turned around to leave him as he was. She wasn't lying when she said she didn't have time. She needed to clean this thing out and then she was going to talk to Brady. The thought of all she wanted to say caused her to smile.
“I'm not gonna stop until we talk.”
Her excitement curbed, she faced Miller again and crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine. What do you need to say?”
“I think we should try again. I know I screwed up and I think I can do better.”
Lo blinked, not quite sure she had heard him right. “No, Miller. I'm with Brady.”
“Okay.” He shrugged. “But when that's done.”
She pressed her fingertips to her forehead and prayed for patience. “It's not going to be done. He's it for me.”
Miller frowned in consternation. “He's gonna screw up too. They always do.”
Lo nodded. “He has screwed up. So have I. No one is perfect.”
Miller's face darkened and Lo took a step back.
“That's not fair.”
“Sorry?”
He clenched his fists at his sides and the muscle in his cheek jumped. “You can't just erase me from your life. You can't just delete my pictures and act like we don't know each other.” He stabbed a finger at his chest and leaned forward. “I loved you.”
“Miller...”
“I wanna know why I wasn't good enough to forgive.”
Lo's heart squeezed in her chest for him. Miller had a lot of flaws. More than even he would admit to, but it hadn't all been bad.
“We didn't work, Miller.”
“You played me.”
“I did not,” she protested, watching his mood swing the other way like a pendulum.
“You did. You used me to get exposure and notoriety. You're not even that good a surfer, you know. I just told you you were, so you'd stay with me.”
“Miller don't do this...” The headache from this confrontation was already starting to bloom at the base of her skull.
“You're messed up in the head.” He sneered, the ugliness coming out.
“Fine,” she accepted flatly. “I'm crazy. Maybe you should be thankful I'm not your problem anymore instead of harassing me about it. Because this,” she waved a hand in between them. “This mean, ugly side of you, I didn't love. I thought I deserved it. But I was wrong. Now can't we both just move on?”
Miller stood up straight and sucked a breath in through his nose. He turned on his heel and stomped into his villa, slamming the door behind him.
Lo's relief was hesitant. She had a feeling this wasn't it and Miller would be back again. And again and again and again.
He didn't like to be the one who was left.
She'd known that. But she also hadn't been willing to stay anymore when his ego had become the biggest talker in their relationship.
Though she hadn't had this much clarity on the issue ever before. Maybe it had been her early morning swim. Or her near death moment with the shark. Life seemed... crisp. Clear.
She hurried back to her villa, anxious to say to Brady and the world, all the things she now knew.
33
Lo
The first thing Lo noticed when she opened the door to her villa, was that it was a lot more crowded than when she left.
Julia and Nadia sat on the canvas covered sofa in the main living space. Scotch was in the kitchen, paused in mid-gulp of orange juice. Steve was pacing the length of the hallway between bedrooms two and three. And Brady was on his phone with one hand braced on his hip.
The second thing she noticed was every eye in the villa was on her.
“And where the hell have you been?” Steve asked, charging towards her. He stopped short when he saw her bloody foot. “Why are you bleeding?”
“She's back. Call off the dogs.” Brady ended his call.
Scotch finished his orange juice. Nadia left the sofa and crouched down in front of Lo.
“I went swimming...” Lo tried to explain, her eyes bouncing from set to set.
Soft hands grasped her calf and lifted her foot off the floor.
“Personal bubble kind of being invaded.” Lo chuckled.
“This looks like a coral abrasion.” Nadia's tawny gaze swept up to Lo. “I have a kit. I'll get it and clean you up.” She let go of Lo and darted outside.
Brady's hands grasped her waist and lifted her into the air and plopped her ingloriously on the kitchen counter. Her hands braced on his shoulders and she pushed him to get his attention.
“Don't really feel like being put on display, Samson.”
Brady's lips twitched and the anxious cloud in his eyes cleared further. “I woke up and you were gone.”
Lo wanted to point out how ridiculous it was for him to worry, but stopped herself. Maybe it wasn't ridiculous. Had she been as clear with him about her own intentions as he had been with her?
She curled her hands around his neck and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I didn't mean to make you worry.”
He held her eyes and his crinkled on the sides in the way she loved. The way she was becoming accustomed to and could confidently identify as gratitude.
“That's really bleeding,” Julia spoke up, having joined the gawking in the kitchen. “You should shower before Nadia gets back with her kit.”
Lo wanted to reply with something snarky and out of character. She didn't know what it was about the beautiful photographer's presence that fueled every insecurity she'd ever acquired. It probably had nothing to do with Julia at all and everything to do with having watched her father jump from woman to woman, each one more beautiful than the last. A habit Miller shared with him. The flirting, the ego, the charm.
Lo's jealousy wasn't Julia's fault. Or Brady's. It was something she was going to have to consciously restrain, because the temptation to indulge the ugly emotion was alarmingly high.
Thankfully, Scotch filled what would have otherwise been an uncomfortable pause while Lo wrestled her internal diva demon back into submission.
“That's a good idea. Nadia has cleaned a good many of my reef tattoos. She's a pro. But she'll get pissed as hell if you shower after she gets the bandages in place.”
Brady's gaze traveled over Lo's face, reading her, knowing her. He smiled right before he pressed a short kiss on her lips and lifted her back to the floor.
“I guess I'm gonna shower.” Lo rolled her eyes. Brady swatted at her butt as she trudged away.
It was unfortunate so many people had been present when she'd arrived. It was also a small blessing because she didn't have a first aid kit to properly clean her scrape and she would've had to go find the resort medic.
She'd find time to talk to Brady later. Without an audience.
***
Brady
“I told you you were overreacting.”
Brady lifted his eyes. Scotch arched an eyebrow and shrugged.
It was true. Scotch had told him he was overreacting. But Scotch thought everyone was overreacting all the time. The guy was a Marine. His baseline existed in a realm of What The Hell that Brady had never experienced. The rest of the world must be incredibly dull to him most days.
When Brady had woken up without Lo, he'd started calling around to find her. Julia, Nadia and Scotch all came over. Brady had been on the phone with the beach patrol when she'd walked through the door. Steve had been two seconds away from pounding down Miller's door.
Because that was where the real threat existed in Brady's mind. Miller had made it clear he wasn't going to stop. The fact left a sour taste in Brady's mouth.
But Lo was back, injured slightly, but otherwise fine. He could live with that.
“A woman like that,” Scotch continued. “The way she looks at you... You don't have anything to be worried about.”
Brady sat back a little stunned. The only worry he'd vocalized was Miller being a jackhole, he hadn't talked about his deeper fear. The one that sounded like panic and looked like rejection.
And anyway, when did Scotch suddenly become all knowing in the ways of how a woman looks at a man? He sure was missing Nadia's moon eyes.
Or was he?
“I don't get you,” Brady declared, deciding that an answer to Scotch didn't need to be found at the moment.
Scotch tipped his head back and laughed.
A female sighed at the front door as it closed.
Nadia had returned with the first aid kit.
Lo emerged from the bathroom in a long sleeved white shirt that hung off one shoulder and short jean shorts. The same thing she'd worn on their first night in Nicaragua.
It felt like ages ago instead of a few weeks.
Knowing Lo had become second nature to him. Thinking about life before her felt like a foggy description given by a stranger. This was his real life. Now. Finally.
He never wanted to go back to the foggy unknown.
She hopped up on the counter and Nadia went to work cleaning the scrape of any debris. Brady didn't pay any mind to what Nadia was doing, he couldn't take his eyes off Lo. Because she couldn't take her eyes off him.
Something was different.
A subtle shift had taken place when he wasn't looking.
Her lips curved up on the corners ever so slightly. A vulnerable peace passed between them. A gift from her he would need explained, but was more than eager to accept.
“All done.” Nadia patted Lo's leg and stood back up. “I have some waterproof plaster spray I can apply tomorrow if you plan on riding.”
Lo had been inspecting her bandages and her head jerked up. “I never considered this would cause me to miss it.”
Nadia grinned. “I didn't think so. I'll come early in the morning and prep you for the big day.”
“Tomorrow, huh?” Lo asked. She hopped off the counter, mindful of her foot.
“It's looking like a huge lineup,” Scotch said, scrolling through his phone. “People started to arrive in droves last night and it's supposed to continue all day today.”
“We should get out there today and take a few runs at it,” Steve said. “I know I'd like to see how the wave breaks on the reef. How the low the tide gets. Things like that.”
Lo nodded, agreeing with him. Which shouldn't have surprised Brady as much as it did. Steve and Lo had been traveling together for a little while now and it was only natural for them to have formed a team of their own. Actually, now that he thought about it, it was nice to know he didn't have to win Steve over for his girlfriend. Steve could be a hard sell.
“We have a boat lined up,” Julia said, having been a lot more quiet than her usual outspoken self. “A couple of wave runners ready to go. I wanted to get some shots today. Scope out the best angles...” Her voice trailed off and she rolled her lips inward.
Weird.
“Let's hit it.” Steve clapped his hands together.
The group moved to gather their equipment, change clothes, finish their coffee. Brady moved to Lo. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to his front. She grinned and he couldn't resist kissing it off her.
“Looks like I'll be confined to the boat,” she said with a sad sigh.
“You could
have Nadia spray it now,” he suggested.
A look of hesitation swam through her eyes. “Nah. I haven't really had time to tell you what else happened this morning.” She tilted her head to the side and dropped her voice. “A lot of people here.”
He turned their bodies so his back blocked the rest of the room and he could focus on her. “What happened?”
She swallowed and bit into the side of her bottom lip. “I went swimming, had some thoughts.”
“Thoughts?” He arched an eyebrow.
She smiled slyly. “I'll tell you all about that part later. But I cut my foot on the coral when I spotted a tiger shark. He was... close.” Her eyes widened on the last word. “We had full-on eye contact. I could have reached out and touched him.”
Brady's grip on her waist tightened and he found himself folding her into his arms, pressing her against his chest. Needing to feel her heat, her softness, verify she was here and safe and whole.
“It's okay,” Lo said gently, patting his shoulders. “I'm okay. He swam away without incident.”
He took a deep breath, the unexpected shock of her news leaving at a slower pace than it had gripped him. She was right. She was fine.
“So I think I'm okay with being in the boat today.” She grinned at him, attempting to calm his nerves by acting like it was all cool. “As long as I don't have to talk to Miller again today,” she added.
His arms flexed around her. “Again?”
She rolled her eyes. “He stopped me on my way back here. I don't even know what to say about that guy anymore.” She shook her head, disappointment showing up in tight lines around her mouth. “He's not horrible... but then sometimes he blows right past horrible and sets up camp in the worst.”
“What did he say to you?” Brady tried to keep the fury out of his voice but his limbs vibrated with the desire to punch Miller in the face again. And again and again and again.
“Nothing of significance. The ridiculous assertion that he and I could get back together spiraled quickly into accusing me of being a sycophant of sorts with zero skill.” She shrugged. “I'm paraphrasing, not quoting.”
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