Saying the words out loud ripped a hole through the middle of him. No, she had to be alive. He'd have felt it if she were gone. Because his heart would have stopped beating.
Her limp body in Scotch's arms flashed through his mind again and he closed his eyes against the sight , but it didn't help.
Julia sucked in a shaky breath. “I know.” Her eyes gave away her own worry.
It had been hours. Agonizing, tortuous hours.
Lo had been medevac'd to Sydney. The last Brady saw her, she had been strapped to a board and was being unloaded from the airbus. She hadn't regained consciousness. And they wouldn't let him follow them into the hospital.
He'd been trying to get any kind of an update since he'd been there, but no one would tell him anything because he wasn't family. But what did they know? He was her family more so than the people she shared blood with.
“Where's Steve?” Brady asked, looking around at the faces of Scotch and Nadia. They had all taken a helicopter from the island.
“Um, bathroom, I think,” Nadia said, looking around with a frown.
Steve, his face freshly washed and red, strode into the waiting room, looked around at the serious faces and went straight to the nurses' station. “I need information on Halo Fredericks' condition.”
The nurse rolled her eyes. “Unless you're family—”
“I'm her brother.”
Brady's shoulders stiffened at the lie.
The nurse eyed Steve suspiciously.
“Would you like a DNA sample?” Steve asked, all trace of his joking and jovial demeanor absent. It had been replaced with a cold, sarcastic edge, his face a stony mask of resolve.
Brady looked at his friend, really looked at him. He wasn't okay with this either. But Lo did that. She sucked people into her warm wind and they were happy to follow her to the next destination.
The nurse sighed. “I'll find out what I can and let you know.”
“Appreciate it,” Steve said, pulling out his phone.
“Brother?” Julia asked as Steve joined them.
He glanced up from his phone, his eyes rimmed in red. “We need to get a hold of her parents if we can. Does anyone have any contact information on them?”
“Maybe Tessa?” Brady guessed.
It was the not knowing. Not having any idea if she was okay that was really getting to him. The last image he had of her, she had been strapped to a board and covered in bloody scrapes from being raked over the reef.
She was so... still.
No breeze, a flat wave, the color gray.
Things that had never been used to describe her before and now they did.
A doctor in scrubs came out into the waiting area and approached them.
“Halo Fredericks family?” he asked.
“Yes,” Steve answered confidently.
The doctor hesitated, but it was obvious he didn't want to have to make them wait any longer. “You might want to sit down.”
The bottom of Brady's stomach fell out and the waiting room quieted into an ominous silence.
The doctor took a deep, slow breath.
“It appears she suffered a high velocity impact to her head which caused severe spinal injury and rendered her unconscious. It's difficult to say how long she was without oxygen, but the longer it was, the more likely she will suffer some brain damage. The spinal injury requires surgery... which she's being prepped for now.”
Brady licked his dry lips. “Who's doing the surgery?”
The doctor tilted his head to the side. “Philip Pho. He's a leading neurosurgeon—”
“I know who he is,” Brady interrupted.
The doctor cleared his throat and his voice gentled. “He's one of the best in the world...”
Brady nodded. “I know. He's a colleague of my mom.”
The doctor straightened. “Who's your mom?”
“Doctor Cassandra Samson.”
“Oh.” The doctor's reverence was hard to miss. “She's actually the best.”
Brady pressed his lips together and leaned back. Still unable to look up from his stare down of the horrible hospital carpet.
“How long?” Julia asked when it became clear Brady was done.
“A few hours.” The doctor stood back up. “I'll let you know as soon as I have something definite. When you do go into to see her, you should be aware sixty percent of her body is covered in superficial reef burns. Barring infection, she should recover with minimal scarring. But her appearance may be startling at first.”
Julia thanked him and the doctor left again. Leaving the group to their own thoughts and fears.
Brady stood up and pulled his phone from his pocket. He left the hospital and went outside. The phone rang three times before she picked up.
“Brady? Is everything all right?”
The sound of his mom's voice finally pushed Brady over the edge and his sinuses burned. “No, mom. Everything is very, very wrong.”
“What's happened?”
Brady told her everything. From meeting Lo at the wedding reception to their work with Soaring Bird, to falling in love, to the accident.
“You have to come here, mom,” Brady said firmly. “You have to come to Sydney right now and save her.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she breathed. “Doctor Pho is amazing. She's in excellent hands.”
“But your hands are better,” he argued. “Please.” His voice broke and he stopped his pacing to rest his forehead against the brick of the building.
“Please. You have to save her.”
***
The beeping of the monitors wad the only thing keeping Brady grounded to reality. Everything else about this day felt false. A nightmare he couldn't wake up from.
He had turned off the light above her bed because he knew she liked to sleep in the dark. The nurses weren't happy with him, but they didn't fight it. He had pulled back the curtains to let in the moonlight.
His mom hadn't come. Dr. Pho did the surgery. And now they had to wait.
One thing his mom did do, was talk to Pho. She gave as much information as she could to Brady. He thought having the details would help. But nothing did. Nothing helped.
Brady engulfed her small in hand in both of his and pressed her knuckles to his lips.
“I hope you know you're not alone. I'm here with you. No matter what happens, I'm gonna be right here.” He turned her hand over in his and studied them. She was always looking at his hands in reverence, like she wanted to memorize them. He traced the small scar along her thumb and followed it with a kiss. The promise he made to her in Nicaragua came back.
“I'm gonna hold on. Forever. I'm not gonna let you go. And we'll get through this. I'll get you tacos and we'll dance. How hard could it be, really? To stay with someone like you... Not hard at all.”
The range of scenarios kept on the constant rotation through his mind. Everything from her being fine, to her legs not working, to her mind not returning, to her never waking up again. He confronted every possibility in his mind and planned his actions just in case.
Everything single one resulted in him by her side, with minimal changes in the details of their lives.
Nothing could take him away from her.
Even if she didn't survive this night. A part of him would go with her to the next life. His body might remain as an empty shell. But he was hers. Beginning to end.
He never imagined the end might possibly come so soon.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” he asked, swallowing the tightness in his throat. “You promised you would tell me later. I'm gonna hold you to that.”
The only reply was the sound of the ventilator as it kept his soul mate alive.
Humans were such delicate creatures. Easily formed and easily broken.
“You were gorgeous out there today. Perfect miracle.” His throat grew tight again. “My miracle.” His thumb softly stroked the back of her hand. “Show me another miracle, Lo. We have plans to make, you and I. I can't make
them without you.”
Julia knocked softly at the door, a look on her face he couldn't identify. What he did notice were the tear tracks down her face. He frowned at her and she stepped into the room, her eyes going to Lo and more tears fell.
“What's going on, Jules?” he asked.
She swallowed hard, trying to regain her stiff upper lip.
“Lo wrote you a blog.”
When Brady simply stared at her, she handed him her phone.
“It went live about an hour ago. She must have had it scheduled.”
Brady took the phone, a slight tremble in his hand. He kept hold of Lo with his other as he read her words.
Live, Love, Tacos
The Blog of Lo Fredericks
Cloudbreak
I will not love you quietly.
I have loved people in secret too long. I have been silent in my affection and I never saw anything wrong with it.
But I cannot love you quietly.
I will not admire you from afar and keep my hopes for our future a secret. I will not temper my feelings for you in an effort to keep my expectations low.
I will love you the way you deserve.
I will love you with all the force of life I have. From the start of my breath to the words it makes.
Please stay with me. Even when it seems hard or impossible. I've never asked anyone to stay before, because I never thought I was worth staying for. And then there was you. In all your Bradyness, like a crack of thunder disrupting the monotony of my simple life.
I want to keep the peace you bring to my loud thoughts. I want you stay in my space, invading my life in new and unexpected ways.
So, stay.
If you were to leave, it would break my heart. And I won't be able to keep quiet. I will make a big deal out of my broken heart. For losing you would be the kind of loss no one recovers from. I will give it the credit it deserves, that it has earned.
I could never be the silent sufferer with silent tears and dignified poise.
Not with you.
For you are more than that.
We are more than that.
I intend to make it difficult for you to go. I plan on tangling myself into your heart and life so deeply that you will have to cut parts of yourself out in order to remove me. And I won't apologize for it.
I will love you with a boldness I've reserved for only you. Because I believe my heart knew you were out there. It's been preparing for you for forever.
You're it for me. The perfect break, the wildest ride, the most beautiful place to land.
Never before has my soul been so nourished, so exposed, so cherished.
I know life is hard. I know we have challenges ahead. But I look forward to facing them with you.
Teammates to the end.
36
Steve
Steve leaned his shoulder against the wall. The sun coming through the open curtains didn't disturb the girl in the bed or the man sleeping with his face on her hand.
He hadn't moved from her side since the hospital staff had finally allowed him access.
It was as if time had stopped when Scotch pulled her from the water. Steve would never forget the dark vacancy in Brady's eyes. The desperation of a man required to wait.
Waiting was all they had now.
It didn't seem fair somehow. These two people had finally found what everyone on earth was searching for—the thing so many couples took for granted and wasted—and it was being ripped away from them. One agonizing second at a time.
Brady sat up, sucking in a breath. He looked from Lo's still figure to Steve standing by the wall. Steve shook his head slowly.
No change.
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he stepped out of the room.
“Hello?”
“Anything?”
One person he'd been in constant contact with since this entire nightmare had started was Lo's best friend Tessa. That girl could move mountains. Turned out, she was Lo's medical power of attorney. Getting Tessa involved had made it possible for Brady to be in the room with her.
“No. No change.” He tucked a hand into a pocket and stood with his forehead pressed to the wall in the hallway. “What about you?”
Tessa huffed. “I finally got a hold of her parents.” She paused, gathering herself so she didn't launch into a crazy rant again like she was inclined to do. Steve didn't mind it really, but she was always so damn apologetic afterwards. That part was a little irritating. “They asked me to keep them updated.”
“That's it?” he barked. Shit. He'd even offered to pay for their flight so they could be with their daughter.
“Yep.” The snap in her tone told him exactly how she felt about it.
“That's fucked up.”
Tessa sighed. “My flight is boarding. I'll be there in 18 hours.”
“Good. Hopefully she'll be awake by then.”
“Yeah...” Her voice softened. “Thank you for this, Steve.”
Despite his fatigue, he smiled. He wasn't often thanked. “See you soon.”
***
Brady
“I don't know who you think you're fooling,” Brady said against Lo's hand. He pressed his lips to the skin, feeling the warmth and the life pulse below the surface. “I can still feel it. I can still feel you.”
No response came from the still figure in the bed.
What Brady wouldn't do to have her wake up, tussle his hair, and call him ridiculous.
He could hardly look at her, yet he couldn't look away. Her face was mostly covered by scratches and bandages. Countless tubes connected all over her body.
From what they'd been able to piece together, she never even had a chance to pull the tabs on her vest. Her head hit the reef and knocked her out. The wave raked her body over the coral again and again, shredding the wetsuit, the vest and her skin.
His grip tightened on her hand and he rubbed it against his cheek. “Wake up, Lo. Come back to me. Stay with me.”
It was unfair to think of the energy she embodied, this impossible force of nature, confined to a bed. Silent. Like the current. She pulled him. Turned him over and inside out. Tumbling, tumbling tumbling...
“Run with me, Lo. Let's go away from here. Me and you. Anywhere you wanna go. Name it. Tell me what you need and I'll give it to you. Just... stay with me. I promise you'll never regret it.”
He slumped over the bed, holding her as much as he could without disturbing her.
All she had to do was wake up.
“I'll be your home. You'll never be alone again. Me and you. Teammates to the end, remember? And if I know you, which I do, this isn't the end. Not for us.”
***
Julia
Julia wiped at her eyes as she listened to Brady's whispered declarations.
She'd never believed in soul mates. Or really love for that matter.
But Brady and Lo?
They'd turned her into a believer.
She'd never known a man so unafraid to love. Surely the powers-that-be would have mercy on him and allow him to keep his heart.
Right?
***
Brady
Brady hated the look of pity on everyone's faces. Every time they came in to check on him, it was the same. The sympathy wasn't welcome. He knew they were all scared. They were all dealing in their own way.
Tessa had arrived a little while ago. Distraught didn't even cover it. Steve had finally taken her to the hotel to get some rest. Only one of them was allowed to stay with Lo overnight and Brady wasn't leaving.
Ever.
He would stay by his Lo until they removed him. And even then, he was certain he'd find a way to come back to her. Nothing in the world could keep him from her. And he firmly believed she felt the same. If the roles were reversed, she would claw her way back to his side every damn time.
So he stayed. Because she was going to wake up and he was going to be right where he belonged.
By her side.
“You sho
uld see the moon tonight,” he said. “It reminds me of the moon the night we stayed at the surf camp in Playa Hermosa. You don't know this, but I held you all night. As hard as I tried to resist you, it didn't matter. Even in sleep I've always been drawn to you.”
Sighing, he tugged on a stand of her hair as it rested along the length of her arm. He wrapped it around one finger, feeling its softness.
“I just wanna be wherever you are. All the time. Constantly. I feel this... pull. I can't explain it. Just... everything is better when we're working on it together.” He cracked a smile.
He'd spoken to his mom earlier and Dr Pho too. The surgery had gone well. But they wouldn't know the extent of the damage or if the surgery had been successful until Lo woke up and more tests could be performed.
“Don't be scared, baby,” he said gently. “No matter what happens, I'm not going anywhere.”
“Maybe you could get me some tacos.”
Brady's eyes shot to Lo's. Her voice was raspy, dry and unused. Her face turned towards him, and her gaze held a hint of mischief. He inhaled sharply, emotion filling his eyes with wetness.
“Welcome back.”
She tried a smile, but it was weak. “You can't get rid of me that easily.”
He grinned despite the hot tracks of tears spilling down his face. The weight of the unknown lifted from his shoulders and he took in a clean breath.
He hovered above her, absorbing the light and life shining out of her eyes. Most beautiful sight in the world. “I missed you.”
He cradled the side of her face in one hand. She closed her eyes and turned into it.
“I wasn't far.”
“It felt far.”
She licked her lips, his ache reflected in her eyes. His hand shook and he tried to stop it by threading his fingers into her hair. Her eyebrows tilted and a tear escaped from the corner of her eye and slipped to the pillow. He rubbed through the wetness with his thumb.
“You love me,” she whispered like it was the most surreal truth in the world.
Like the Back of My Halo Page 28