by Rachel Leigh
“Yeah, fuck you, too,” I hoot to some asswipe who threw an empty beer can our way. I bend down and pick it up off the gravel driveway, grab the open water bottle from Josh’s hand just as he’s about to take a drink. I dump it in the can until it's half full and step closer to him, chucking it right at his forehead. “Inertia, mother fucker.” We all laugh as he rubs the red spot on his head.
“Let’s just drink all their beer, get fucked up and go back to Marco’s, his parents are gone for the night.”
The music grows louder and louder the closer we get. A large fire blazes in a pit on the outskirts of the lawn. The yard is full of people, ninety percent of which, I don’t even know.
We walk closer as I take in all the faces, looking for a familiar one. The front door is propped open as people make their way in and out of the house.
I spot a couple of guys from the team. A couple that I already know I can’t stand. A few that are tolerable. “Jasper, nice save today man. Welcome to the team.” Axel throws his arm over my shoulder, eyeing the guys I walked up with. “Mi Casa es su Casa, get yourself a beer in your hand and a lady on your lap and live it up.”
Josh and Marco don’t say anything. They stand at my side with a glare that bounces from one guy to the next. If we can get away from the team, I think we could all have a good time. It’s not the entire school that we rival with, it’s solely the football players.
I don't respond to Axel with more than a nod. I’m not here to make any friends, but if there was one person who I’d consider being decent to, it would be Axel. He isn’t so bad.
The idea of a lady on my lap and a beer in my hand sounds intriguing though, so I take him up on it. We head out back where a fire is blazing in the middle of the lawn. Cute girls surround the place. Most of them are all a sloppy mess already. The only good thing I’ve noticed since moving to Redwood is the ladies. Las Verdes is much smaller and everyone who isn’t family is dating family, so guys like myself are limited. There was one girl, until she decided to screw me over, with none other than Levi Maddox himself.
Karma is a fucking bitch.
We walk through the yard to a keg that’s placed in a barrel by the fire. As I’m filling my cup, I spot a girl sitting alone on a porch swing overlooking the private pond.
“Be right back.” I tell the guys, who are deep in conversation about football.
I walk through the damp grass and look out onto the lake. So peaceful, so still. The best view out of any of our house windows was the backside of Harmons Grocery store that had a big four leaf clover spray painted on it. My new room isn’t much better. Just the side of Blakely’s mansion sized house. I’ve always been a little envious of those who get to look out their window and see the stars at night. Tonight is a perfect night for that.
I stop in my tracks and go to turn around when I realize who it is.
“You here to rain on my parade, Mr. Scott?” Her voice is quiet and doesn’t hold that same sarcasm I sensed earlier today.
“Just looking at the view.” I turn back around and walk over to her side.
“Go ahead, give it your best shot. I don’t think you could push me down any further than I already am.” Her feet are planted firmly on the ground as she pushes the porch swing back and forth.
“I didn’t come over to taunt you. I didn’t even know you were over here.”
“Then why are you here?” She turns around and I see that glimmer in her eyes again, only this time, they’re wet—her cheeks stained with black streaks beneath them.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I saw someone sitting over here alone and thought that I might say hi. If I’d known it was you, I wouldn’t have bothered.”
“Why is that? Because I’m such a bitch?” Her expression is blank, and if it wasn’t for the evidence of her crying, I’d think she was emotionless. She turns back to face the lake, and against my better judgement, I take a seat next to her. I may be an asshole, but I’m not as cold as she is. I actually do give a damn about some people's feelings, not many—certainly not hers, yet here I am... for some unknown reason.
“I never said you were a bitch, not to your face anyway.” I turn to her with a smirk, feeling as though this might not be the best time for jabs.
“That makes it all better. We can be friends now.” She glares at me with daggers and that sarcasm has returned.
I go to speak but stop myself, remembering that she’s already hurt and that if I say what's on my mind, she will voice hers even louder. Trying to save an argument, I clear my throat and pull out the bottle of jack from the pocket of my hoodie. I unscrew the top and take a swig and then extend it to her. She looks over at me, questioning me with her eyes, but takes the bottle anyway. She takes a drink, a long drink. Stops and then takes another. “Damn girl, you better slow down.”
“I’m a big girl, I can handle it.” She takes one more swig, making a sour face, and then hands it back to me. “So, tell me Jasper, why are you here?”
“I told you, I didn’t know it was you….”
“No, I don’t mean here... here. I mean, why are you attending Redwood, playing for our team? Why not just drive the extra fifteen minutes and go to the school you attended your entire life?”
“If I told ya, I’d have to kill ya.” I smirk, slamming the rest of the beer in my hand then tossing the red cup to the side. “I had no choice. I got expelled.” I don’t even know why I’m telling her anything about myself. I barely know the girl. We can’t stand each other. She doesn’t give two shits about why I’m here. She just wants to know why I’m not leaving.
“Ahh, a rebel.” She holds her gaze straight ahead and hasn’t once looked at me since I’ve sat down. I get the feeling she’s intimidated by me. She should be.
“It takes one to know one.”
She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t call myself a rebel, I just don’t take shit from anyone.”
“Yet, you expect others to take it from you.” It was a statement, not a question really, but she answers anyways.
“No, I just expect people to respect me. If I get an inkling that someone has it in their head that they can walk all over me, I squash that shit before it even starts. Like you.”
I slouch further into the bench, watching her while she messes with the pop socket on the back of her phone. My mouth curls upward and I almost find humor in her tough girl facade.
“In my defense, you attacked me before you even let me speak.”
“Because I know people like you.” She stands up and steps toward the lake. “I am people like you.” She looks down at the ground and digs the tip of her closed toed heel into the dirt.
“If we’re so much alike then what are you scared of?”
She spins around quicker than a tornado. “I never said I was scared.”
“Calm down there, Queen B.” I stand up and attempt to approach her, but she makes the move first.
Digging her fake nail into my chest. “Don’t call me that again.”
“Ohh, that’s it. That’s your soft spot. What? Because the Queen didn’t get the crown?” I laugh, instantly regretting it.
She hangs her head down low, forbidding me from seeing her face, and before I know it, she’s storming away. Only she doesn’t head to the party, she heads down a trail.
Oh fuck. Don’t do it, Jasper. She’s not your problem.
I find myself chasing after her. I’m an asshole, no doubt. But I don’t take pleasure in making girls cry. Especially the ones who I didn’t know could.
“B, wait up.” I jog towards her. “Blakely,” I yell, realizing it’s the first time I’ve ever called her by her name.
She stops. Standing as still as the lake. I walk up slowly behind her.
“It should have been mine.” She buries her face in her hands. “Petra isn’t the Queen of this school, I am.”
I don’t know what to say. I just stand there, waiting for her to speak again. Only she doesn’t. She wipes her hands under her eyes and turns around.
A smile on her face, “Whatever, it is what it is.” Her makeup is smeared, and I’m not even sure if I should tell her at the risk of losing my balls out here. “If you’ll excuse me, there is some free beer to be drunk by yours truly.”
She heads back down the trail, “Blakely, wait.” I walk briskly to her side. “Turn around.” I lean closer to examine her eyes as much as I can in the dark.
“Don’t you dare try to kiss me,” she growls.
“Don’t flatter yourself.” I take the sleeve of my hoodie and wipe it gently under her eye, searching her face for approval. When she doesn’t stop me, I wipe the other side.
“Why did you do that?” She remains still, and for a moment, a very brief moment, our eyes lock, causing me to lose my train of thought.
“I...umm.” I shake my head to regain my focus. “We wouldn’t want anyone knowing that Blakely Porter actually has a heart, now would we?”
Her lips part and a smile slowly grows on her face. If I wasn’t convinced before, I am now. She does feel emotion.
“Right.” She walks away, leaving me questioning everything I thought I knew about the Queen B of Redwood. I wait a minute before heading back to the party.
Chapter Seven
Blakely
I walk away, running my fingers under my eyes and trying to wrap my head around what just happened. Through the sleeve of Jasper’s hoodie, I felt a jolt of electricity. I can still feel it working its way through my body, escaping at my toes.
I spot Talon by the fire, a couple of girls hanging at his side. I suppose I should get used to seeing him at parties, considering he’s a sophomore now. I give him a double take to make sure he’s not drinking. Talon’s had a hard time dealing with life lately, and he seems to think the answers are at the bottom of the bottle. As I do, at times. But, he’s just a kid. I guess he’ll always be just a kid to me.
I’m about to join the group by the keg, but a change of heart has me checking on him. I maneuver through the underclassmen who are all grouped together. I guess I should get used to seeing my little brother at some of the same parties I attend. Afterall, Redwood isn’t very big. When someone says, party, everyone attends.
A petite little brunette is cut off mid-sentence when Talon acknowledges my presence. “Hey Blakely,” he muses, and I can tell right away that he has been drinking. “That was a hell of a game tonight.”
At least he didn’t bring up the crowning. I could go without that humiliation tonight. I watch as the brunette girl takes a sip from her red cup, peering at me over the rim. She looks at me like I’m some sort of threat.
“Does Mom and Dad know you’re here.” There, that should squash her fears.
“Who fucking cares if they do or don’t? They don’t give a damn what I do.” He growls, grabbing the cup from the girl and sloshing the liquid contents on her. He doesn’t even apologize; he just slams the cup and tosses it to the fire.
“Maybe we should get you home.” I pull at the sleeve of his hoodie. He puts up a fight and pulls back even harder.
“I’ve got him tonight. He’s crashing at my place again.” His best friend Alex comes in to view and hooks an arm around his neck. “You good, bro?” He looks to Talon who gives a lowkey nod. “He’s good.” He turns to me and smiles.
“Take good care of him, Alex. And, call me if you need me to come pick his ass up later.”
Alex is a good kid, and exactly what Talon needs right now.
“And, Talon? Please take it easy on the drinking.” I give him a serious glare that he looks straight past.
He waves his hand through the air in an attempt to brush me away.
I let him. I know that I should do more. I’m just at a loss at how to help him anymore.
I turn around and search for my group of friends, spotting them by the keg. I approach Knox and his crew as they all stand around watching Laney attempt a beer bong. She gags as the liquid goes down the tube, but to my surprise, she takes it all. She turns her back to the circle and begins dry heaving. “Hold it in, girl.” I hear Axel tell her as he rubs her on the back.
“How are you doing?” Knox throws an arm over my shoulder, pulling me close.
I nuzzle my head into his shoulder. “I’m fine.”
“I know what fine means. Do you wanna go talk?”
I shake my head no. I’m perfectly content in my best friend’s arms. He’s always been my safe place.
“Hey Blakely, how’s that ego? Getting weighed down by that crown on your head?” Kip says, “Oh, wait... my bad, you didn’t get the crown and nothing can weigh down your ego.” Laughter erupts following his joke.
I look around and every single person in sight has their eyes on me and is finding hilarity in his words. I can feel the pulse in my throat as the pressure collapses on top of me, pushing me further into the dirt than I already am.
“Knock it off guys.” Knox comes to my defense, giving Kip’s shoulder an aggressive shove.
“Shut the fuck up, all of you.” I turn to walk away, but Knox grabs ahold of my arm. I jerk it away with a snap and pick up my pace, hoping that no one has the balls to follow me. I will not be able to refrain myself from losing my shit. I will victimize every single one of these losers.
I walk into the house and search for Meg and Chloe. They said they’d meet me here, but I can only assume they’re running late because I have yet to spot them. I try and find an unoccupied room. After opening and closing a few doors, I find myself in Axel’s little sister's bedroom. I sit on the end of her pink and white checkered bed and grab ahold of a stuffed unicorn, squeezing it to my chest—fighting back the tears.
I won’t let them break me. Lord, please don’t let them break me.
The door swings open, and I jump up, tossing the unicorn to the floor.
“Go away,” I tell Knox, but he ignores my demand and closes the door behind him. He walks over and doesn’t speak; he simply puts his arms around me as I break.
“Pay no attention to Kip, he’s an asshole.”
“It wasn’t just Kip. It’s all of them, Knox.” I pull away and the tears continue to drop one by one, landing on the unicorn that lays at my feet. “They have been waiting for this moment my whole life. They want to see me weak, and they want to use it against me.”
“It’s not your weakness they want. It’s your reaction.”
“How am I supposed to react? Should I have broken down right there in front of everyone?” I sit back down on the bed and pull my phone out of my back pocket when it vibrates. “It’s Levi.” I look to Knox, and his expression grows wary.
“Don’t read it right now. It’ll just upset you more.”
I read it anyway.
Sorry Blakely, no go for hoco.
“Wonderful, just fucking wonderful.” I toss my phone on the floor, watching it land safely on the pink rug. I bury my face in my hands and begin to sob. Stopping to catch my breath, “How did you know it was going to upset me?” I look to Knox. “You knew, didn’t you?”
He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t have to.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” I speak softly. I can’t help but feel numb that Knox withheld this information.
I throw myself back into the pink plush comforter with my arms spread above me. I can’t be angry at Knox. This isn’t his fault. The whole situation is just too much right now.
“I didn’t want you to have any more on your plate right now after the crowning.”
“This is just perfect. Now I don’t even have a date to the dance.” I bring my hands underneath my head, propping me up, so I can see him, “What the hell am I supposed to do?” With every word, I can feel the lump in my throat rising. There is no possible way I can show up dateless. Not a chance. Sure, others do it all the time. Not me. No way.
“Just come with me with and Kelsey.”
I spring to my feet, nearly falling over as the liquor rushes to my head, “Are you serious right now? A third wheel? Not a chance in hell.”
I pull t
he door open and storm out, slamming it shut behind me. Feeling worse and worse with every step down the stairs at how I just yelled at Knox when he was just trying to help.
“Blakely.” I hear Chloe shout through a drunken breath. “Where have you been?”
I ignore her for now. I have one thing on my mind right now and that’s drowning my sorrows in a bottle.
I head straight to the kitchen where bottles of liquor are lined up on the counter. I grab the fullest one, not even knowing what it is. I take the top off and toss it to the left of me, paying no attention to the girl I just hit with it. Drink. Swallow. Chug.
I see hands come into view as they grip the bottle and try to take it out of my hand. “Get off.” I pull it back, causing it to spill down the front of my chiffon blouse. “You moron.” I snap, “Look at what you did.”
“You’ll thank me later when you’re alive,” Jasper says. With the bottle in hand, he attempts to walk away, but I grab ahold of his sweatshirt from behind.
“Give it back.” I spin him around so we’re face-to-face. “You don’t know me so don’t even try to act like you know what's good for me. Give me the fucking bottle.” I’m fuming. My face is hot, and I have every intention of punching this douchebag square in the face if he doesn’t hand it over. Not because I want the liquor, because I don’t like being told what to do.
“No.” He grins, yanking his body to release my grip. Just as I pull my arm back, I see Petra—bent over, laughing with her clique at her side. I assume it’s the spill down my blouse, or the unnecessary encounter with the new kid. I don’t even care the reason; they are laughing at me and that is enough to piss me off further.
They watch me out of the corner of their eyes and turn abruptly when they catch my stare.
I walk straight past Jasper, ignoring his rambles, and make a beeline for Petra, I crank my arm back and release, and watch in slow motion as my knuckles meet the side of her cheek, her precious crown that she’s put on display drops to the floor. “You,” I scream, “everyone thinks that I am the biggest bitch at Redwood, it’s because you have them all fooled. You are the epitome of bitch.” I don’t even pay attention to the dampness in my eyes, the drip drop of each tear as I lose control.