by Rachel Leigh
For the first time in my life, I’m scared of a female. She looks as if she is ready to strangle me with that towel as she tugs at it tighter, taking careful attention to not let me see anything underneath it.
“I was just getting notes from her.” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. I feel like a fucking toddler who just got caught with his hand in a cookie jar.
“From Petra?”
“It was for school, B.”
“Why can’t you just say it? You were talking to Petra?” She takes a step closer.
I toss the laptop to the side and scoot down to the edge of the bed, scattering papers everywhere as I ruffle the blankets.
“It’s not like I’m denying it. I just don’t see what the big deal is. You made it abundantly clear when I thought you slept with Knox that we have no reason to give a damn what the other does.”
“I was standing here baring all to you while you’re getting friendly with Petra.”
“Like I said, I don’t see what the big deal is.” I shrug it off and run my fingers through my hair, avoiding eye contact. I knew that she’d be pissed if she found out I was seeking help from Petra. Though I’m not exactly sure why. Is it her hatred toward the girl? Or, is it me?
“Just forget it.” She turns around quickly and storms out, slamming the door behind her so hard that the empty walls shake. I take a deep breath, knowing that I’ll go after her eventually. She does something fierce to me, especially when she’s angry. It’s sexy and scary at the same time. I never know what to expect from her, but it’s exactly the way I like it. She’s unpredictable. She’s infuriating. And, she’s got a mouth on her that begs for attention.
Chapter Eighteen
Blakely
My feet move quickly down the hall—swift, yet hushed. No one else is home, but I still find myself being careful. If Knox ever found me leaving Jasper’s room in only a towel, I’d never hear the end of it. He’s no good for you. Someone is going to get hurt. I can hear his voice in my head already. Maybe he’s right. Maybe someone will get hurt, but it’s not because Jasper is no good for me, it’s because I’m no good for him. That’s the thing that Knox doesn’t understand. If there was ever a heart to break over this situation, it would be Jasper’s. I don’t do relationships, and when I do, I don’t do them well.
I don’t know why these thoughts are trotting through my brain. Jasper and I aren’t in a relationship. We’ve both made that very clear. Yet, why can I feel the blood coursing through my veins? I round the corner to the spare bedroom and slide in, closing the door behind me. I drop the towel to the floor, and just when I bend over to pick up my bag, the door creaks open. Slowly. Almost motionless. If it wasn’t for the rusted hinges, I would have been none the wiser.
My heart stops for a tick as I spin around quickly and reach for my towel. Only, this is no intruder.
I can feel his presence touch me without contact. I can smell him without even breathing. And, I can taste him without even opening my mouth. He turns the lock on the door and walks toward me, the anticipation building with each step he makes.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I gasp, stretching the towel across my body to hide what I no longer want him to see.
His fingers glide subtly down my arms, leaving shivers in their path. I close my eyes and tilt my head to the side when his lips graze gently over the fold of my neck. I could stop him and ruin this moment or I can remain still and see what he intends to do to me. Curiosity has always gotten the best of me.
“You,” his mouth moves to my shoulder, “are,” down my chilled arm, warming it with each breath, “jealous.”
My eyes shoot open, and my body tenses up. “I am not,” I hiss at his ridiculous accusations.
Am I?
Wearing only a pair of gym shorts, I take in his appealing physique. A summer tan that has yet to fade. Rigid abs and biceps that crave to protect me. His sharp jawline ticking with anticipation to devour me. I drag my eyes up to meet his.
“Admit it,” he whispers in my ear.
I make a move to my bag, but his strong hands grip my arm. Not painfully, but enough force to hold me in place. “Why would you call her when I’m in your house?” I hold my gaze on my bag.
“Why do you care?” His voice is stern, loaded with demand.
“I don’t.”
“Damnit, B. Why won’t you just admit that you feel something for me?”
I straighten myself up, suddenly feeling very exposed. A feeling that is new to me. Modesty is not something that I ever acknowledge, but standing here with him—like this, my vulnerability is at an all-time high.
After a grave moment of silence, I say the first thing that comes to my mind, kicking my vulnerability in her ass. “We’re friends, Jasper. We’ve both agreed…”
But he doesn’t let me finish. I eat my words when his mouth crashes into mine. After piercing my lips tightly closed, I lose the resistance, as his tongue slithers in and seduces mine. My body at battle with my armed emotions. Ready to take flight if needed but fully prepared to lose this war. I don’t stop him as he pushes his mouth harder, so much so that I cinch at the pain, the beautiful pain as he devours my bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth. “Admit you were jealous.” He draws in a breath and exhales it against my neck.
I shake my head as his hands grasp my ass and lift me up, my legs wrapping around him. The warmth of his stomach between my legs and his nails digging into my bare skin.
“Admit you want me.” He tosses me down on the bed, using his hands to pry open my legs. If I were to look down, I imagine I’d see my heartbeat through my thin skin.
I shake my head again.
“The drip down your legs doesn’t lie like you do.” His eyes slice through mine in search of something satisfying. Any kind of inkling that I want him as bad as he wants me.
I won’t give it to him. Even if it is a lie.
“Don’t flatter yourself, I just got out of the shower.” I lie my head back and close my eyes as his tongue sweeps down my thigh. The sucking sound that he makes on my body, turning me on even more.
He lets out a conceited moan. “Baby, that’s not water.”
His hands move up, cupping my breast as his tongue swirls at my entrance, sending shivers through me. My hips raise on impulse when his nose rubs against my nub. He retreats his hand and uses one finger to trace the outline of my clit, before pushing it inside of me. Electrical impulses course through as I feel myself swelling from the inside. His touch is almost more than I can handle, but I’m so thirsty for more. I lick my lips and allow my hips to rise and fall and he inserts another finger. Both hands now at his side, he pushes himself up and makes a slow attempt to get off the bed.
“What the hell are you doing?” I groan in desperation, catching my missed breaths and allowing my heart to steady.
A smug grin fills his face as he raises a brow. “I was just gonna go.” He points at the bedroom door, all cocky and sarcastic like. He knows what the hell he’s doing. “You said you didn’t want me or this. So…”
I walk quickly to his side. “Shut the hell up.” I push him onto the bed. I straddle him as his hard cock presses through the fabric of his shorts. I glide my body up and down, rocking against him. He props himself up on his elbows and takes my right nipple into his mouth. Sliding his hand into the thin space between us, he rubs my clit in circular motion as I continue to grind myself into his touch. He slides two fingers inside of me as he pulsates them inside me, hitting my g-spot. I begin to cry out when his mouth collides with mine, trying to dull the noise that escapes me. Untamed, uncontrolled, and completely breathtaking. I feel myself flood in the palm of his hands as he digs deeper inside of me and I ride out my orgasm.
“Fuck me, Jasper.” I moan into his ear as my lungs refill.
For a moment, I feel like he is going to shoot me down again. That I’ll be humiliated. To my surprise, he doesn’t. “Do you have a condom?”
I climb off of him and feel my
self drip down my leg, ignoring it, I go over to my purse that sits up against my bag and dump the whole thing out as I rummage through the contents, finally finding one. Suddenly grateful that Knox dropped a handful of these in there as a joke “for a special occasion” were his exact words. I hope these things don’t expire.
Still in a state of sexual frustration, even after the best orgasm of my life, I have a dire need to feel him inside of me. I hurry back to the bed, hoping I didn’t kill the moment.
I’m reaffirmed that Jasper wants me just as much as I want him when he pulls me down, flipping me over until my back crashes into the bed. I offer my help as we simultaneously pull his shorts and boxers down, flinging them to the side and suddenly feeling intimidated. I’ve seen his dick before, but it was in my hand or my mouth, never inside of me.
Using his teeth, he tears off the top of the wrapper, spitting it to the side. Like a deficiency in extreme need of attention, him being the pill that fulfills me, I pull him closer. Pressing my lips against his bulging biceps, and feeling the heat of each breath rolling back to me, carrying his scent with it. Slowly bringing me back to life.
Just as I think he’s about to enter me, his movements freeze. “I need to know you want this.” His voice is raspy as he looks back with eyes that beg for the words.
“More than anything.” I pull him down and kiss him. Hard.
Using his free hand, he slowly slides in the tip, and I wince at the sting when he presses further. My breathing restricted and my heart beating like a fricken drum as he plummets himself deeper and harder into me. I let out a gasp.
“You ok?”
“Mmmhmm.” I lick my lips and smile as our eyes hold focus. He drives himself in and out, again and again as I envelope around him. Pulling him in and pushing him out. I slowly raise my hips and join him in the motions, riding him from underneath. My hips buck into him as his pelvic bone strikes mine. The slight pain I felt on his entrance is replaced by pleasure; our eyes still magnetically connected. The only thing I focus on is this—the now.
Jasper takes hold of my leg and brings it up to my chest as he thrusts deeper. “Fuck.” he moans, “Babe, I’m gonna come.”
I pull him closer with my arms wrapped underneath his, my fingertips digging into his shoulder. As he comes undone, I feel as if I’ve been put back together.
He topples to the side with the condom still intact and we both let out a drawn-out breath. His head cocked to the side, looking at me. “Still ok?” he asks.
I nod and bite back my smile before he presses a chaste kiss to my cheek.
A sudden knock at the door has us both wide-eyed.
“Shhhh.” I put my hand over his mouth.
“Blakely,” Knox says through closed door, as he attempts to turn the handle. “Just wanted to make sure you’re doing ok.”
Thank God the door is locked. If he ever knew I just had sex with Jasper in his old playroom where we built towers with Legos as kids, he’d lose his shit.
“I’m fine. Just lying down. I’ll be out in a few.” I fake a frown that turns into a smile when I look at Jasper.
I wait a few moments before unfreezing to make sure he’s gone.
“That was too close.” I sigh, throwing my head back on the pillow.
“You don’t regret this do you?” He nuzzles his face into crease of my neck.
“Not unless you give me a reason to.”
Please don’t give me a reason to.
“I’ll never hurt you, that I can promise.” He leans forward and presses his lips to mine.
I hope he’s right. I don’t think my heart could survive the break.
Jasper pulls off the condom and balls it in his fist as he slides his shorts back on, kissing me on the forehead, before walking out the door.
“Lock it,” I whisper.
When I’m alone with my thoughts, I continue to lay in bed, smiling at the ceiling. Feeling more warmth inside of me than ever before. Unsure of what to make of all of this, it’s officially confirmed that I am falling hard.
Looking back, I can’t even remember why I ever let Brady Nillson take something that was meant for someone else. I guess it’s because at that time, all of my friends were losing their virginity. I never planned to hold out until marriage or anything like that, I just knew I wanted it to be with someone who made me feel a certain way. I can still smell the stench of gin on his breath, getting drunk off his kisses alone. He was wasted. He was a senior in high school and the captain of the football team—I had just started my junior year and was trying to hold up my reputation with the varsity squad. We all have parts of our lives we wish we could erase; unfortunately, our past is written in permanent marker—it’s always there.
When I’m finally dressed, I walk into the hallway and I can hear Jasper talking aggressively to someone. I creep down the hall and his door is cracked open. My first thought is Knox, however, his conversation is one-sided.
“Jimmy, I’m paying you good money for this. I need more than an officer's name; I want the fucking driver.”
I creep closer as the conversations heats up.
“Contact whoever the hell you need to. It’s been too long and you’ve given me nothing but hearsay, I want facts and I want them soon.”
After that last word, I hear a sudden thud that startles me as the wall shakes. I walk briskly back down the hallway and into my room, closing the door behind me.
What the hell was that?
Chapter Nineteen
Jasper
I shake my hand, instantly regretting the force behind the punch. Running my fingers over the small dent in the drywall, I make a mental note to fix that before Dad sees it. He’s already had to deal with enough from me lately. My pain quickly diminishes when I revisit the events of tonight. Finally feeling B around me as her body pressed against mine, her cute expressions as I watched her with her eyes closed. So fucking sexy.
I shoot her a text to see if she’s willing to work on our project.
Me: Going to bed?
B: Wide awake. Round two?
Me: I’m game if you are, but I’m warning you, you’re gonna be hurting tomorrow.
B: I like pain, it reminds me that I’m alive.
Me: How about after we work on this project?
B: Always a student, first.
Me: Have to be. Need the grades.
B: I’ll come to you. Be there in five.
Me: Can’t wait.
It’s three o’clock in the morning when I glance at my phone. Woken up by the constant thud of footsteps down the hall. What the hell is wrong with the people in this house? I jump out of bed and stomp to the door, hoping that whoever it is hears me and gets the point that people are trying to sleep in this damn house.
I tear open the door, expecting to find Knox; instead, I see B, tears streaming down her face and a look of panic in her eyes.
“Hey, hey. What’s going on?” I say softly, as I walk to her and wrap my arms around her.
She nuzzles her face into my neck and sniffles. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I just...”
“It’s ok. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
She lifts her head and pulls in a breath of air. “I was going to Knox’s room. Then I thought, maybe I’d come to your room. But I wasn’t sure if you’d want me here or if Knox would be mad.” She continues to ramble a bunch of words that don’t make any sense to me. I’m not even sure if they make sense to her. All I heard in all of it was ‘I wasn’t sure if you’d want me.’
“You can always come to me.” I pull away with my hands lying on her shoulders. “Always.”
She nods her head repeatedly as I lead her back to my bedroom. I close the door behind us and we take a seat on the bed.
Rubbing my tired eyes, I let out a tiresome yawn.
“You’re tired. We were up late working on the project. I should go.” She stands to leave, but I pull her back down.
“Don’t be silly. Talk to me.” I grab my blanket to cover
her, she has to be freezing in her satin shorts and tank top.
“You know how I passed out at the hospital?” She stares straight ahead, avoiding eye contact.
I nod in response.
“It’s a defense mechanism. My parents think I do it on purpose, but I don’t. I’m not really sure why it happens. For a while, it was just a momentary black out. Over the years, it's gotten worse. My therapist says it’s my body’s way of protecting me from over stimuli when certain situations are too much for me to handle.”
I trace my fingers up and down her arm as she continues to talk.
“I never know when it’s going to happen. Sometimes I can combat the stress on my own, other times, my mind goes into hiding.”
“I know,” I tell her. I heard a different version from her dad, but I got the gist of it.
“You do?”
“Sort of. I think. Did it happen again? Tonight?”
She shakes her head no. “Tonight was the other part of my craziness coming out. Tonight, it was the nightmares. I have them frequently.” She looks over to me, seeking a reaction. She probably expects me to run for the hills, but little does she know, I’m not going anywhere. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“Not at all.” I begin to twirl her loose hair around my finger. “What are the nightmares about?”
The stretch of silence seems so loud as she struggles to speak.
I just wait.
I wait until she’s ready to talk.
“I never talk about this to anyone but Knox.”
“If you don’t want to…”
“I do. I want to tell you.” She cuts me off.
More silence.
“My life hasn’t always been this chaotic. Believe it or not, my parents were parents once. When I was eleven years old, there was a chain reaction of events that left my family shattered—beyond repair. Each day I had hoped we would begin to put the pieces back together, but the fragments continued to multiply, to the point that we all gave up. I like to think that I’ve seen the worst of it, but that’s not the case. Talon was on the receiving end of the destruction. Mom, too, but I found it hard to empathize with her when all she did was fuel the fire.”