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A slip of familiar paper fluttered down to the surface of the table - Bingo's number. Vivian must have left it by the phone when she'd called to thank Bingo for the night of movies and popcorn.
Of course, Vivian thought, and she wiped an arm across her eyes. I'll call Bingo. She's good friends with Aiden. I'll tell her we've had a fight and he won't talk to me. She'll persuade him for me. Vivian reached for the phone again.
"Bingo. Hi! It's Vivian. "
"You've got your nerve talking to me. " Bingo's voice was taut and angry. Her words left Vivian stunned.
"What?"
"You know damn well what," Bingo replied.
But Vivian didn't. "I don't understand. "
"After what you did to Aiden. "
Oh, Great Moon, he'd told her, Vivian thought. How could he tell her? And how could Bingo sound so matter-of-fact? Shouldn't she be afraid? "We had a fight," Vivian said, trying to get back to the scenario she'd invented, yet floundering in confusion over Bingo's attack.
"A fight! I'll say. Another one of your jealous rages. He told me about them. He was afraid to even look at another girl in case you went off on him. I was surprised when he told me. I thought you were more intelligent than that. It just goes to show I can't judge people at all. "
"Jealous rages?" Vivian found herself repeating stupidly. What lies had Aiden invented?
"Don't act innocent with me," Bingo said. "I've known Aiden for years. I care about him. He usually tells me things. It pisses me off that I didn't even know it was going on. For Christ's sake, you even said I was trying to steal him from you. And after I went out of my way to be friends. " Vivian could hear the hurt in Bingo's voice and knew she would never believe a denial.
"I love him, Bingo," she said wearily, knowing it was useless. "I did something to frighten him, that's why he told you what he did. I didn't mean to upset him. I would take it back if I could, but I can't. I only want to tell him how sorry I am and to make him understand. Please help me. "
Vivian could hear the hiss as Bingo inhaled through her clenched teeth before she answered. "He understands perfectly well why you threw a chair through his window when he tried to break up with you," Bingo said. "You're a crazy, jealous, spiteful bitch, and he doesn't want to see you ever again. He's in even deeper shit with his father now. If you want to do something for Aiden, you can send his parents money for that window and then get the hell out of his life. " She hung up.
Vivian replaced the receiver slowly and quietly, her knuckles white with the effort not to smash the phone to shards. For a moment she had thought she'd found a path to Aiden; now she discovered it blocked by an avalanche of lies.
So that's what he's telling them, she thought. I'm a crazy bitch to be avoided. Now he can stop seeing me and keep his friends safe from me at the same time.
Vivian ran to her room and threw herself on her bed. She clutched her pillow tightly to her hollow gut. He was so cruel. He didn't want her, so he'd made sure nobody would.
But he hadn't told anyone what she was. Did that mean he still cared a little or was he afraid no one would believe him? If there was another killing would he brave their disbelief? She needed to know his intentions. She needed to know how safe she was. And she needed to see him again, because she yearned for his arms around her.
Aiden's car was at the far end of the College City Shopping Center parking lot, by the wooded strip that separated the shops from the movie theater. Perfect. She could sit beneath the trees and watch his car and no one would notice. She could sit still for a long time if need be.
The scant last quarter of the moon wouldn't rise until past midnight, but Vega gleamed brilliantly in the southern sky, the only star bright enough to defy the parking lot lights. Vivian longed for the velvet country sky encrusted with stars. Under such a sky, all nights were cool, all nights were joyous, all nights were forever. She made do with fireflies for stars and watched the parking lot through motionless, mildewed leaves.
At ten many of the storefronts dimmed. Employees left close behind the last customers, and the parking lot emptied. At ten-thirty a timer turned off most of the parking lot lights, and the strip where Vivian sat was plunged into deeper shadow. The only bright spot left was the undulating marquee lights of the video store, alerting summer-school juniors that there was still time to rent Surf Nazis Must Die.
At eleven the video store lights went off, and Vivian eased into a crouch. Fifteen minutes passed before she heard his footsteps along the tarmac. Even then, her only movement was the twitching of her nostrils as she took in his scent. He reached his car. His keys jingled. She was in motion.
One arm slipped around his waist; a hand went over his mouth. She yanked him back under the trees, feeling him squeal against her palm as his feet left the earth. She clutched his back tight against her breasts and whispered into his ear, "I can run faster than you, remember. "
He trembled at her words, and the smell of his sweat was pungent with fear. It saddened her to threaten him, but she suspected this was the only way she could make him stay. "I want us to talk," she said. "Promise you won't run away or yell. "
He nodded, jerking her hand up and down. For a moment she enjoyed the feel of her thighs against his. She gently licked his ear to show him she wouldn't really damage him. He whimpered and it cut her to the quick. She released him.
He turned and stepped back from her arms. "What do you want?" he asked, and his voice was high, his face white.
"I want you to understand," she said. "I didn't mean to frighten you. I wanted to share what I was - what I am - and give you the magic you were always yearning for. What's so terrible about that?" She was dismayed to feel the tears come to her eyes. She had so desperately wanted to remain calm.
"And what the hell are you, Vivian?" he asked, a tremor in his words.
"I am Loup-garou. I am Volkodlak. A metamorph. "
"Is that the same as a werewolf?" He still didn't want to believe even though he had seen.
"Yes. Although what I turn into isn't actually a wolf, but it's close. "
"And when you drew that pentagram in my hand you were making me your victim," he said.
"Don't be an idiot," she answered. "That was a joke. "
He took another step backward. "Look, I won't tell anyone," he said. "I promise. Only let me go. "
"Aren't you even curious about me?" she asked, amazed. "I thought you craved the mystical. You wanted the bizarre, remember? I thought you would grab what I am with both of your hands and eat me up. "
"I don't want to know any more, Vivian. Please. Let's leave it at that. You go your way. I'll go mine. Okay?"
"Aiden, I thought you cared for me. How can you send me away like that? I want to be with you. I want you to love me. "
He at least had the decency to look ashamed. "But it's different now. I mean, how can I . . . I mean, every time I touch you I'll, I mean, I'll know . . . "
"Know what? That I have this wonderful ability to turn into a beautiful, strong, swift creature? That I am a Child of the Moon?" The revulsion on his face told her different.
"Vivian, did you kill that man the other night?" His words came out in a rush.
"Is that what you think? That I'll put on my fur and kill you?"
He hung his head and didn't answer.
She softened her voice and came close to him again. "Aiden, have I ever been anything but loving to you?" She saw him tense, but he didn't back away. That gave her hope. "Aiden, have I ever been anything but willing? " She stroked his chest with her fingers, and he raised his head to meet her eyes. "You don't want a tame girl, do you?"
"No!" He flinched back. "I can't. I'm sorry. " And he did truly sound sorry.
"You don't trust me," she said, frustration making her angry. "Do you think I can't control my other self? Do you think my teeth will grow as I lose myself in your pleasure?"
"I want
to trust you, Vivian," he said, sadness creeping into his voice, "but every time I think of kissing you I see that other face. All the time I think, 'What has that mouth done?' and I don't think I can ever kiss you again. "
His words piled like cold stones inside her.
"You're a coward," Vivian said. "I thought you were different from the rest, open-minded, but you're just like those parents you despise. At the first sign of the unusual you run. You tell lies about me and make people hate me. You take away my friends. You're the monster, not me. I only wanted to love you. "
She took the necklace he had given her from around her neck and hurled it at him. "Maybe you made me your victim. "
His hand slapped to his chest and trapped the pendant as it slithered down his shirt.
"Go," she said fiercely.
He looked at her in surprise.
"Go now," she repeated. She didn't trust her rage.
"I'm sorry it had to end this way," he said as he backed slowly away. "I really am. "
"You think it's ended?" she whispered as his car door closed. "Oh, no. You'll be seeing me. "
AUGUST
Satyr's Moon
Chapter 22
22
Vivian clung to a log in the clearing at the back of her house, as if she were an alligator motionless in a swamp. The sodden evening air of August enhanced the illusion, and the pattern of the bark became her pattern, as her flesh pressed into the wood. She curled her toes and savored the crunch as her nails bit gouges in the log. The odor of mold and damp moss intensified as she crushed the bark, until the air smelled like a cemetery. Motionless and silent once more, she allowed the creaking evening chorus to monopolize the woods with their see-saw, chirp-chirp, grind-grind, eternal white noise. She envied their cacophonous serenity.
A nearby rustle announced a predator's careful tread, and her eyes opened slightly. He walked discreetly but wasn't trying to conceal his approach. How polite, she thought. She sniffed the salty tang of a young male, often aroused. Overlaid was a comfortable intimate smell like a warm bed slept in, and the faint hint of baby powder and spearmint chewing gum. Willem.
He paused beside the log as if trying to decide whether to wake her.
She rolled and grabbed his legs. The momentum sent him tumbling. She bit his calf as he fell. He yelped. She threw herself on top of him, pinning his arms and leaning a knee with gentle menace into his groin.
"Vivie!" he pleaded. "I didn't mean nothin'. Vivie, let me up. "
Maybe it was his use of her baby name, or maybe it was his soft bewildered eyes, but the heat of her anger dissolved, and she slid to one side, releasing him.
"Damn, Vivie, I thought you were gonna hurt me. " He scrambled to his knees, one hand covering his crotch.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
Willem wiped his nose with his fist and glanced at her sideways. His smile was the old, gentle smile. "I went into Tooley's, you know, so they could enjoy throwing me out, and your Mom cornered me. She said since I didn't have anything better to do I could get my ass over here and keep you company. Said you hadn't gone out in weeks. " He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head in a way that would have made her laugh three million years ago. "Want me to beat him up for you?"
How dare she? Vivian thought. Who gave her the right to broadcast my private business? "I can do my own beating up, thanks," she told Willem coldly.
Willem grimaced. "Yeah. Silly me. "
"Why aren't you with those other gangsters?" she asked.
Willem shrugged, a frown touching his face. He kicked at the log with one of his engineer boots. "Oh, Finn thinks he's hot shit - pushing us around 'cus Rafe's not there to slap him down. I mean, Rafe's bad enough, but at least he doesn't make us do dumb-ass stuff to prove he can make us do it. Greg doesn't like that either so they're always arguing, and you know Ulf - dumb little turd'll go along with anything. At least Finn isn't screwing his mother. "
"Rafe's always off with Astrid?" Vivian asked.
"Yeah. At her place. Helping her 'recuperate. ' He thinks the sun shines out of her ass. I don't get it. " Willem shook his head. "I don't blame him for staying there, though. His dad's being weirder than ever. "
They sat in silence for a while as the night darkened around them.
"We used to have fun, Viv, didn't we?" Willem said finally. "Now I wonder who's looking out for me besides me. Those older ones, all they do is talk. And Gabriel, who's he? Is he gonna make us do stupid shit like Finn does, just to show he's boss? You know what? I think you're the only person I trust. You're cool. You never let us talk you into doing stupid shit. " Willem fell silent again.
Oh, yeah. I'm so cool, Vivian thought.
"You know who did that killing, Viv?" Willem said suddenly.
Vivian's stomach turned over.
"Nobody knows," he continued. "That weirds me out. One of us killing, and nobody knowing who. Killing used to be something we did together. "
A faint breeze picked up and heat lightning patch-worked the sky. Willem sighed.
Vivian gently punched him in the ribs. "Get out of here. Tell Finn where to stick it. Stand up for yourself, asshole. "
He grinned sheepishly. "Maybe I will. "
"Well, go do it now," she said. "I need to be alone. "
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