by C. E. Smith
I looked down at my hands.
What would’ve happened if he hadn’t shown up when he did?
My hands fumbled at the hem of my shirt nervously, and I realized it wasn’t mine.
"Is this yours?" I asked lifting out the hem. It was dark grey and smelled just like him.
He nodded. "Yours was gone by the time I got there, and I figured you wouldn’t want to wake up in a strange bed half naked."
I hugged my shoulders. "Thank you."
"You’re welcome. Say, how did you know my name?"
My eyes met his, and a puzzled expression covered my face. "What do you mean?"
"Right before you woke up, you yelled my name."
"I did?"
"You did. How do you know it?"
I shook my head with a frown. "I don’t know it. I didn’t even know I said anything."
"Yeah, you were thrashing around so I tried to wake you up, and right before you did you yelled ‘Ryker’."
I peered closely at him for a moment. "That’s the name of someone I knew a lifetime ago. He used to be very protective of me. Whenever I have nightmares, he always shows up right before I wake up like he’s helping me get out of it."
He squinted his eyes as if trying to figure out if he'd seen me before. "What’s your name?"
Should I tell him?
I hesitated, weighing my options. The last time I had trusted a stranger, I had nearly been… I shuddered trying not to think about it. There was something about this Ryker though. Surely, he couldn’t be my Ryker. Something was just so familiar about him, so I let out a deep breath. "My name’s Edyn. Edyn Walter."
He shook his head. "No, that’s impossible. There’s no way."
"What are you talking about?"
"I knew a girl named Edyn Walter when I was a kid. I lived next door to her for two years, and she died right before we moved. We were playing in the creek behind our houses, and she was bitten by a snake. My… father… told me she didn’t make it."
My eyes searched his for anything, anything, that might give away some sign that he was lying. But how could he possibly have been lying about something so specific?
"Ryker?" I whispered. I reached my hand out to touch his face. "How? Am I still dreaming?"
He put his hand over mine and held it to his cheek. A smile slowly spread across his lips. "Am I?" he asked.
"Are you really real?"
He laughed and pulled me to him, whispering in my ear. "My God, you’re alive after all."
I couldn't wrap my head around this. I never thought I'd see him again.
How is this possible?
He kissed my forehead, and I felt a tingle rushing through my body. It only lasted a second though before I remembered Samuel’s lips on me, and I pulled back.
"What’s wrong?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Samuel," I choked out.
The anger that I had seen in his eyes earlier was replaced by burning rage. This time it did scare me a little, and I recoiled.
Through gritted teeth, he said, "I’m going to kill him," and started to rise.
My hand found his arm and tugged him back to the bed. "Don’t."
His eyes softened as they found mine. "But what he did to you, what he almost did…"
"I know, but I don’t think I could handle being alone right now. Please don’t leave me."
He relaxed a bit, and his hand found my cheek again. I nuzzled into it and heard him sigh.
"You should rest," he said. "I won’t be gone long."
My fingers gripped his arm tightly, and I could tell his resolve was weak. "I know, but if I wake up again like that, I don’t know what I’ll do if I’m alone. Please, just stay. You said you would hold me together."
He smiled and brushed a lock of hair away from my face. "I guess I did, didn’t I?"
He kicked off his shoes and crawled under the covers with me. His black t-shirt stretched taut over his strong chest. Pulling me to him, he wrapped his thickly muscled arms around me, my back against his stomach. I’d never been in the arms of a man in bed before, and I couldn’t help thinking that I really didn’t know anything about Ryker Evans at all. We knew each other for only a couple of years as kids, but in spite of that he had haunted my thoughts and dreams ever since.
"I don’t even know who you are now," I whispered.
He held me tighter. "I know but something about this, just feels right. I never stopped thinking about you, you know."
I smiled. "Me neither." Rolling over to face him, my nose touched his. "How is it that two decades have passed, and we only had a couple of years together as kids, but it feels like you never left?"
He stroked my hair again, and I closed my eyes.
"My little Edyn," he said.
"You always were my protector. If you hadn’t taken me home that day that snake would have killed me. You saved my life. You’ve saved it twice now. I think I might need to keep you around."
Visions of Samuel flooded through my mind, and I buried my head into Ryker’s chest.
"I should warn you," I said. "I have night terrors. So when I scare the shit out of you screaming like an idiot in the middle of the night, you know why. I have a feeling tonight will be worse than usual."
He pulled me closer and softly kissed my hair. "I’ll be right here to fight the monsters away when you do."
* * *
The monsters woke me up screaming two more times in the night, and both times Ryker was right there holding me close. I would sob until I would fall back to sleep in his embrace. I knew it should have struck me as odd that he was so comforting and so caring when we hadn’t seen each other in twenty years, but it felt like we’d never been apart.
Later that morning I woke up screaming again. I could feel the man I had killed pinning me down, his hands on my wrists and knees on my stomach. He kept laughing and repeating, "What’s the matter, little girl?" This time when I woke up, I was alone, and I was hysterical.
A moment later, I heard a key in the lock to a door in the other room. Still reeling from my own screwed up mind, I flew over the side of the bed to hide, landing on my bad ankle. I stifled a yell and clapped a hand over my mouth, biting down to fight back against the shooting pain. Huddled between the bed and the wall, I brought my knees to my chest and silently cried into them.
Footsteps approached, and I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could.
"Edyn?" he asked softly.
I started shaking uncontrollably before he placed a hand on my shoulder, and I jumped out of my skin.
"Hey, hey, you’re okay. It’s just me," Ryker said gently, keeping a firm protective grip on me.
I stared at him through water-logged eyes. The moment it registered in my mind who it was, I flung myself towards him and threw my arms around his neck.
"Shh, I’m here." He lifted me up with surprising strength and set me back onto the bed. Never letting me go, he sat next to me.
"I’m sorry I left. I thought I would be back before you woke up," he whispered.
After a few moments, I was able to regain my composure. I didn’t want to pull away from him, but also didn’t want any awkwardness between us.
"It’s okay. You shouldn’t have to babysit me."
He smiled a half-smile. "Sure I do. Isn’t that what I always did before?"
I felt heat creeping into my cheeks, and I looked away. "I didn’t need you to then, either," I muttered. Catching my reflection in a mirror, I saw makeup streaked all down my cheeks. My eyes were puffy from crying and exhaustion, and my hair was a complete disaster.
I groaned. "I’m a mess. Can you point me in the direction of the bathroom?"
He smiled. "Sure. It’s right through the hallway on the right."
I climbed out of bed carefully this time, trying to put as little weight on my foot as possible. He moved to his feet when he saw me take my first hobble.
"Here, let me help you." Gracefully, he ducked under my arm and wrapped his own around my waist. M
y body tingled again as his hand found the bare skin above my hip.
It was only a few steps to the bathroom, but I was grateful for the help, nonetheless.
"Would you mind if I took a quick shower?" I asked.
"No, not at all. Do you umm... need any help?" He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the floor.
I flashed him a quizzical look and waited until he made eye contact. "Is that a serious question? I should be okay, but thanks."
"I didn’t mean it like… I just… Your ankle…" he trailed off.
I laid a hand on his arm reassuringly and smirked as I arched a brow. "I know."
He took a step back away from the bathroom door. His neck was red, betraying his embarrassment. "I’m sure you’re probably hungry. I’ll go and see what I can scrounge together."
"Thanks," I said and shut the door.
"Hey, leave the door unlocked, just in case," he said.
"In case what?"
"Just in case you slip or something with that ankle. I don’t want to have to kick it in if I don’t have to."
Wasn't he sweet? I still couldn't believe I was here, with my Ryker. I laughed. "Okay, will do."
A single bulb above the sink dimly lit the bathroom. It seemed like lighting was more of a luxury down here. I slid the plain shower curtain liner to the side and turned on the water. For a moment it sputtered before a halfway decent amount fell from the shower head. It wasn’t as good as home, but it wasn’t horrible.
Gingerly, I undressed.
Help would’ve been nice if he wasn’t a guy.
Before folding the shirt, Ryker’s shirt, I buried my nose in it. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, drinking in that wonderful smell of sandalwood and vanilla. I loved that smell; it was like strength and security.
The water took a few minutes to get hot, so I took the opportunity to check out my battle scars. Turning my face, I could see the purple bruise spreading across my jaw. Long shallow cuts from Samuel’s knife decorated my arms as well as the one on my throat. Another cut that I didn’t notice before went across my cheek, and then of course there were several on my stomach from where he had cut my shirt. My ankle looked like a violet, swollen mess, and my knee was covered with dried blood.
Steam started to fog the mirror so I ran my hand under the water. It was hot but felt good. Heat was cleansing. It was healing. I tilted my head back and ran my fingers through my hair as the scalding water ran down my body. It stung where it hit my knee and all the other places where my skin was torn. There was something satisfying about it, though.
I looked for some shampoo, soap, anything and found the barely there remnants of a bar.
I hoped he wouldn’t mind if I used it.
As I ran the bar over my body, wincing when it touched my wounds, I thought I heard the bathroom door clicking.
"Ryker?"
I grabbed the shower curtain liner and peeked around it. A neatly folded stack of clothes was on the vanity, but Ryker wasn’t in the bathroom with me.
Here I was, twenty years later, in his shower in his apartment. Not to mention it was underground out of the public eye in a very dangerous area, and he had already saved my life again. Who could have guessed in a million years that I would end up here, let alone cross paths with Ryker?
As I imagined the water washing the last of the pain from my body, I turned it off. Stepping out of the tub, my foot slipped, and I smacked my hip into the vanity.
"Ow, shit," I cried.
"Are you okay?" he called out.
Before he could come bursting through the door to rescue me again, I responded, "Yeah I’m fine."
I pulled the towel off the rod and cautiously dried myself off, trying not to irritate my cuts. After returning the towel to its place, I picked up the first article of clothing. It was a solid black t-shirt made out of some very soft material. My bra was a little dirty, but since I didn’t want to go without, I slipped it back on before pulling the shirt over my head. It was form fitting without being too tight. There was a pair of black cotton underwear too, and I really didn’t want to know where they came from as I slipped them on less than gracefully. Next, I sat down on the closed toilet lid to pull the jeans onto my legs before standing up. They too were snug and hugged me in all of the right places.
I checked my reflection again in the fogged up mirror and started to braid my hair to get it out of the way. Only when I was halfway done did I realize I didn’t have anything to tie the end off with so I let my hands fall to my sides and limped out of the bathroom.
Sizzling came from the kitchen, and I could hear Ryker moving around. He must’ve heard my feet shuffling across the floor because he came around the corner an instant later.
"Wow," he said.
"Wow, what?"
"Nothing, nothing. You just look..."
"Like a mess?"
He shook his head. "No, not at all."
I hopped another step towards the living room, and he crossed to me.
"Here," he said and scooped me up in his arms like it was nothing.
"Hey, I can walk, you know," I protested, although my heart fluttered.
"Have you seen yourself trying to walk?" he asked.
I sighed and rolled my eyes as he carried me over to the couch. He bent over and set me down gently, taking care not to bump my foot. When he went to straighten up, I held onto his neck for a second too long.
"What?" he asked, staring into my eyes. That bright blue seemed like it could see down into my very soul. I could feel his breath on the tip of my nose.
I let go abruptly. "Nothing, sorry," I mumbled.
He looked at me for a moment, then walked back to the kitchen. "This is almost ready. Let me finish this, and after we eat I’ll do something about that ankle."
"You know the last time someone said that to me I ended up drugged and bound."
He stayed silent for a moment and I bit my lip.
"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean..."
"No, it’s okay. I’m just a little surprised you’re able to find some humor in it," he said solemnly.
"It is odd, huh? I should be a complete basket case right now, but I’m not. I mean, I’m still scared, and I worry knowing he’s still out there, but I feel safe with you at least. I know you won’t hurt me."
He set the wooden spoon he was holding down on the counter and rested both palms on the edge. With a sigh he hung his head.
"What is it?" I asked.
He shook his head.
"Tell me," I pleaded.
He tilted his head back and turned to me, eyes closed before dropping his chin and meeting my gaze. "I don’t want you to be scared. Of anything. Especially him."
I studied him for a moment before I spoke. "You know him."
He closed his eyes and nodded.
"I’ve been meaning to ask you how you found me, but I’m guessing it has something to do with that?"
Reaching behind him, he turned the stove down low. "It took a little while for word to reach me, but one of my contacts found me and said they saw a girl following Samuel back to his place. They said she was terrified and injured, and it appeared that she had gone through Hell. I figured he had put her through that, and I knew what he was going to do. As soon as she told me, I headed straight there, but I wasn’t close. I didn’t know what I was going to find when I got there, and of course, I had no idea it was you."
He gazed off to the side, pain written across his face.
"Ryker, why did she come to you?"
Hesitating, he stared at his feet. "Because he’s my father."
His words knocked the air out of me. How could someone so kind, protective and honorable be the son of someone so twisted and evil? Ryker continued to stare down at the floor. Guilt and shame was evident in his demeanor. I pushed myself to my feet and winced as weight settled in my bad foot.
"Don’t," he said, but I ignored him.
I staggered across the room to where he was standing, stumbling before I reached h
im. Instinctively he reached out and grabbed my arms to steady me. When my gaze met his, his brow was wrinkled and his eyes were searching mine, full of worry.
"I’m okay," I said. "I came over here for you. I can’t even begin to imagine how that affects you, but I can see the anguish all over your face."
His expression softened, and he pulled me close, resting his chin on top of my head.
He sighed. "Thank you."
"You said you would hold me together as long as I needed, right?" I asked speaking into his chest.
"Mhmm."
I looked up at him. "Well, I’ll do the same for you."
He searched my eyes, letting my words sink in and brushed back a strand of hair from my face. I could get lost in those eyes. They were so similar to the ones I knew as a child, but so much older. Time had changed them, and I could tell a lot of pain had too.
I wondered what all could have happened to him the last twenty years to cause that, but I knew better than to ask him.
I didn’t need to make him relive any of that just for my own selfish curiosity. Only if he wanted to. I would never force him.
5
A fter we ate, Ryker set himself to the task of mending my ankle. He placed an ice pack on it to try and bring some of the swelling down. It was a deep purple and ached whenever I moved it, but it was healing extremely quickly. I wasn’t too surprised though, as I’d always been a fast healer. He looked over it carefully before wrapping it. His hands were firm, yet gentle as he worked, cautious not to move it unnecessarily in case he caused me any pain.
"Now, you rest this today. I don’t know if you’ve gotten any better at doing what you’re told over the years, but I hope for your sake you have," he said casting me a cocky smile.
"Very funny," I said, then reached out and smacked his arm.
He laughed. "Have we really lost twenty years?"
I shook my head. "It sure doesn’t seem like it. It’s like we’ve still been together this whole time."
He exhaled. "It’s crazy, isn’t it? It feels like we know everything about each other, but we hardly know anything at all. I mean, we’re obviously different people than we were back then. We were just kids then."