by C. E. Smith
"Yeah," said the third voice. "It would be a shame if something were to happen to you. Hey, Red, what do you think his stash is up to now? Or do you think he’s spent it all? Think that's why he's been gone so long?"
The second voice chimed in again. "Why don’t we just knock his ass out and take it from him. Surely he’s got some left."
Ryker took a step back and pressed his body against mine, shielding me. He turned his head to the side. "When I tell you to run, you run. Got it? Do not hesitate. I’ll be fine."
"But—" I started.
"Just do it."
One of the guys laughed. "Come on, boys."
I could hear them start walking towards us, and Ryker closed his eyes, exhaling.
"Now," he said.
"Ryker—"
"Now!" he growled.
I stumbled backwards, and as I did, I glanced over his shoulder at the three men approaching and stopped.
They stopped too, and stared. I met the eyes of the one in the middle and saw his jaw drop. He took a cautious step back, my glow shining faintly across him, terror etched in every cowardly feature. "What the Hell are you?" he started.
"Who cares," the one to his left said. "Get Ryker." He took one step towards Ryker, and Ryker cocked his head causing him to falter.
"You really want to do that? Did you forget what I’m capable of?" Ryker's voice was like molten steel, completely and utterly terrifying.
Red swallowed. "Of course not, but there are three of us and one of you. We can take you."
Ryker put his hands on both hips. No part of him looked concerned in the least. "You must be stupid or something. You know full well I've handled more than three assholes like you at once." He nonchalantly scratched the back of his head. "As you recall, it didn't end well for them. So, if you like having all your body parts attached…"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the men slip a massive knife out from behind his back. Panic seized me, and I felt electricity surging through me. It was welling up so quickly, I didn't have time to think.
My glow exploded from the center of my being. It was blinding. I could feel a hot wind emanating outward from me, and my hair danced around my face. Sparking heat coursed through my veins, and I peered down at my hands. They were filled with orbs of pure lightning, and I felt a prickling where it touched my skin. It didn’t just touch my skin, though. The electricity was coming out of my hands.
A piercing scream snapped my head up. Ryker and the three men were all on the ground. The screaming was coming from the man that had taken a step towards Ryker. His hands clasped over his ears, and his face was contorted in pain.
I took a step towards Ryker, still lying on the ground. My hands lit up brighter, and the man screamed again, louder this time. I looked at him and saw blood pouring down like a cascade of tears from his eyes. He writhed in agony, his screams deafening. Abruptly they stopped as my hands surged brighter still. The man’s hands fell limply from his head, and he went still. When he did, my glow dimmed, and I blinked in the sudden darkness.
The other two men scrambled backwards. I could just make out blood running down from both of their ears as they fell over each other to get away. Ryker sat up as I watched them go.
"Oh my God, Ryker!" I fell to my knees beside him.
"I’m okay," he said taking my hand carefully. "I’m not hurt. When I hit the deck, I could feel this warmth flowing over me, and it felt a little like static, but that was it. What did you do to him?"
I shook my head, mouth open. "Nothing. I mean," I continued, "Nothing intentionally. I saw him taking a step towards you, and I felt rage, and then boom. I guess I exploded?" I looked down at my hands, and the faint glow was dying. "I couldn’t leave. I had to protect you."
He laughed a bit nervously. "Well, I would’ve likely been fine, but whatever you did worked too."
I was shaking so hard that I had to put my head in my hands to try and slow my breathing. Ryker stood up and took hold of my shoulders.
"Let’s get home," he said. "I wouldn’t want them to come back, and I don’t want you to have a flare up again out here, no pun intended."
I looked up at him and felt my eyes changing. It was as if my vision was becoming sharper and brighter.
"Whoa, easy, I was kidding," he said.
"What?"
He put his hands up in mock surrender. "Your eyes lit up again. I know it was a bad joke, but no need to kill me."
I laughed a bit nervously, and he helped me to my feet.
He brushed the hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. "I don’t know what just happened, but I could get used to having a guardian as long as it isn’t going to hurt you, and as long as we can figure out what the Hell it is."
8
T he next few days were pretty uneventful. I slept the whole next day. Whatever had happened to me had left me completely drained and exhausted. We decided together that I should stay in the apartment until we could figure out what was going on with me. The last thing we needed was for me to start glowing in the middle of a crowd. It was desperately boring, though. A few time's I played around with the makeup Stella had given me, and even some of hers I'd found in a bathroom drawer. I’d had enough of the apartment to last me a lifetime after recovering from my injuries before. All of the damage that my body had suffered was healed, including my ribs. I had surmised that perhaps my glow had something to do with that, and Ryker couldn’t disagree.
Ryker was gone a fair amount during the day, but he tried to stay home with me as much as possible. He had smuggled me some Topside magazines that he’d obtained from Stella to try and limit the monotony for me, and I appreciated his gesture.
He would cook for me while I would sit on the couch, wondering how I’d gotten so lucky. His back turned to me, he would be telling me some story about some great experience in his early life, none of which included Samuel. I loved hearing about his life. I ached to know everything about him. His life had been much more exciting than mine had, but he still insisted on knowing everything about me as well. We would lie in bed at night, our faces inches apart, and whisper in the dark more about what had happened to us in the years apart.
"So at what point did you no longer want to grow up to be a zookeeper?" I asked as we were snuggled up under the covers one night. It was late, and he had his arms wrapped around me and one leg over one of mine as we were lying tangled up together. The blue luminescence from the clock on the nightstand was the only light in the room. His laughter rumbled through me since he was holding me so close. "I'd forgotten all about that. I can't believe you remembered."
I tsked. "How could I not? You spent an entire summer pretending to tame lions in the creek bed."
He laughed again, and I savored the sound.
Happiness felt good.
"I honestly don't remember when I gave up that grand ambition." He hesitated then. "I did want to become a doctor though, for a long time. After that snake bit you, I felt guilty for a long time that I couldn't do more."
I turned in his arms to face him. His brow was furrowed lightly, and he was chewing on the inside of his lip.
"Why in God's name would you feel guilty? You were seven. You did everything you could," I said, "and besides, I ended up fine."
He sighed, his breath stirring my hair. "I know, but like you said, I was seven."
"That was about the time your maturity peaked too, right?" I smirked in the darkness.
"Whatever, smartass," he replied.
"A doctor would've been cool, I guess."
He reached up to scratch the stubble along his jaw. "I think so. It just wasn’t in the cards."
"Why not? You haven’t told me much about the last, eight or so years of your life. Lots from before that, but not much from then," I said.
His body tensed around mine ever so slightly, and he let out an exhale. "It’s not something I like to look back on much." His warm breath tickled my nose.
"Is it because of him?" I asked.
"Mhmm," he responded.
"I don’t want to make you think about anything upsetting," I said gently.
He pressed his lips against my cheek, and I could feel a smile spreading as he kissed me. "I know you don’t. You wouldn’t do anything to hurt someone. Well," he added, "not to anyone that didn’t have it coming."
I sighed. "You know, I’ve never been in a fight until recently, when all of this crap started?"
He laughed. "I never would’ve guessed that. You handle yourself quite well, like you have experience."
I shook my head. "I don’t." We lay in silence for a few moments, and the only sound was his heartbeat in my ears. "You know," I said. "Something I’ve been wondering. Why is it that I only did that glowy thing when we ran into those guys in the tunnel? I mean, we were threatened, so I thought maybe it was some sort of crazy defense mechanism or something, but if it was, why didn’t that happen before? With Samuel or the night I ran? You would think it would’ve happened then too, wouldn’t you?"
He thought for a moment before he spoke. "I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about that too. No one has been able to give me any ideas as to what it is either. I mean, it’s not like I’ve said ‘Hey my girlfriend will kick your ass with holy fire if you mess with her’ to anyone, but no one has ever heard of anything like it. It got me thinking though," he continued. "This probably has something to do with why the Essence Project leader wants to get his hands on you. I just wish I knew what it was."
I wiggled closer and nuzzled the tip of his nose with mine. "I know, me too. One thing, though. I need to get some fresh air again. I’m going crazy."
Ryker let out a sigh and pressed his forehead to mine. "I know," he said. "It’s just... I’m just..."
"Worried?"
He nodded. "I just need you to stay here a little while longer until we know they've moved on. They haven't searched the Circle yet, but they probably will at some point."
"Surely we could get out of here for a bit without getting caught."
"Not happening," he said, a slight edge to his voice.
"What am I now, your prisoner?" I pulled back against his arms, but he held fast.
"Of course not, but I'm not about to risk you getting taken."
I strained against his arms again, annoyance flaring. "I can’t stay locked up in here forever."
Exasperated, he said, "I know that! It's just not safe right now."
"Will it ever truly be safe for me?" I retorted.
I could read the conflict written all over his face in the dull light from the clock. "If anything were to happen to you…" he said. "I can’t lose you again. I can’t." His voice broke.
He broke.
My irritation was quickly washed away by his anguish. I kissed his forehead, and his nose, and finally his lips. It was slow and deep to convey my love and comfort.
He pulled me closer against him and held me as if holding all of my fragile, broken pieces together in spite of being a mess himself. His hand traced small circles on my back, and I sighed.
"Fine," he relented as he briefly pulled his lips away from mine.
I quickly kissed him again. "Fine, what?"
"You win."
"Obviously," I snarked. "What’s my prize?"
He rolled his eyes, but the corner of his mouth lifted. "We can try and figure out some ways to give you some fresh air and time out of the apartment."
"Thank you," I said, greedily slamming my mouth down onto his with a grin.
He moaned when I did, the sound causing my pulse to quicken as well as my breath. His hand found its way up my back under my shirt, and my skin was electrified wherever he touched me. He gently raked his nails up and down my spine, and my entire body quivered. I pressed myself against his hard, muscular body as every cell in my being sizzled. When he ran his fingertips lightly along the curve of my hip, my body trembled.
"You," he began and kissed me again. "can tell me… to stop… anytime…"
"I don’t know if I want to stop you," I whispered back.
He let out a sound of anticipation and desire and rolled on top of me. His lips traced my jaw line and along my neck. When he found that spot behind my ear again, my back arched, and I moaned. That only fueled his hunger.
My hands found the edge of his shirt, and I pulled it over his head. I let my hands trace every muscle in his arms, his chest, his back, memorizing each one. I felt unevenness under my fingertips, but didn’t stop to think about it. His skin was hot to the touch and taut over his strong muscles. I wanted to feel every part of him with every part of me. Bowing my spine upward into him, I tugged at the hem of my shirt. As if knowing my thought, he brought his hand down and lifted it up, slowly. He straightened up, his knees between mine, and ran both hands up my sides, drinking me in with his eyes. Ever so slowly, he slid my shirt up, exposing my stomach. Scooting back, he bent down and lightly kissed my skin over and over.
I shuddered and lifted up so he could pull my shirt off, not wanting anything else between us. My hands ran over his shoulders, and I pulled him back to me, meeting his mouth with mine. I felt vulnerable being half naked, but it didn’t feel wrong. It felt good. It felt incredible.
"I love you," I whispered into his ear as he kissed my neck.
He pulled back to look me in the eye. "I—" he broke off, and a trace of apprehension appeared in his eyes.
"What’s wrong?" I asked, my voice shaking. I was still breathing hard and could hear his heart thrumming away in his chest against mine, but it had changed from longing to anxiousness.
"Your eyes…" he trailed off.
I pushed him off of me and jumped out of bed. Running into the bathroom, I slammed the door behind me. Leaning on the sink, I put my face inches from the mirror, staring into the colorless voids of my eyes. They were solid white and faintly glowing. None of the rest of me had illuminated, just my eyes. As each second passed, the glow dimmed, and finally the color started to come back, first just the fiery green of my irises, then stark darkness of my pupils.
My breathing was slowing as I heard the soft knock on the door. "Hey, babe, everything’s okay. Will you let me in?" His voice was filled with a tender concern.
I reached behind me and unlocked the door before turning on the faucet. Bending down, I splashed cold water on my face, and when I straightened, Ryker was right behind me, placing his hand on my back.
"You okay?" he asked, searching my eyes in the mirror.
"I," I started. "I don’t really know. Did I hurt you?" I met his gaze in the mirror and etched my face with worry.
‘No, no, not at all. It was just," he hesitated for a second. "Odd. I felt strange, like you were projecting something around me, if that makes any sense at all. It didn’t feel bad or anything, but it just caught me off guard."
I shook my head and rested my elbows on the counter, putting my face in my hands. "God, what if I end up hurting you?" My voice was strained, and he put his other hand on my shoulder, gently asking me to turn and look at him.
I turned slowly towards him, but wouldn’t look at him. Fighting back tears, I bit my lip and ran my hand through my tangled hair.
"Hey," he said and gently tipped my chin towards him. "Look at me," he said.
I couldn’t.
"Edyn." His voice was filled with hurt, and it broke me.
I found his gaze searching mine, trying to hold back the flood of emotions raging inside of him. I put my hands on his chest as I started to speak. "We don't know what's happening to me. I didn't now, but if I ever did anything to hurt you, I could never forgive myself, never live with myself. Maybe I should sleep on the couch. What if I hurt you while I’m sleeping?" I hung my shaking head, trying to get rid of the tears that were coming. "Maybe I should stay away from you altogether."
He cupped my face in both of his hands and tilted it up to make me look at him. His brow was furrowed, and his eyes flashed with fear and determination all wrapped into one. "I will not lose you. Do you hear me? I don’t care if
you lose all control of whatever is going on with you, and you send me through a fucking wall and break every bone in my body. I am not going anywhere and neither are you. You’re the only good thing in my life. You’re my reason for breathing, for existing. The only two options of us being apart are death or if one day you," he swallowed, "you decide you don’t love me anymore which I pray to God never happens. None of this ‘I don’t want to hurt you’ bullshit. We’ll figure this all out. Together. You and me. I love you, Edyn, more than you could ever fathom, and I wouldn't survive in this world without you. I’ve been searching for you for twenty years, and I’m not about to let that slip away because of something that may not even be an issue." He pressed his lips to my forehead and pulled back to fix his fierce gaze on me again. "Got it?"
I sighed. "I just… I can’t… The thought of hurting you…"
"We don’t even know if you will hurt me with this. This time was different. You weren’t lit up from head to toe, it was just your eyes, and I didn’t feel threatened, just surprised by it. Like I said, it felt like you were surrounding me with some kind of energy, but it didn’t feel wrong. It actually felt pretty good. And speaking of feeling pretty good," he cocked a smile. "You feel pretty good up against me without your shirt on."
I had completely forgotten that I was topless. Throwing my arms across my chest, my face flushed, and he laughed.
"You know," he said. "If we’re going to be together for a long time, we’re going to have to get used to seeing each other naked."
The heat in my face intensified. It was one thing to be in bed in the dark with him without my shirt on, but it was another thing to be standing in the bathroom with the lights on and him actually looking at me.
He was still without his shirt, and I marveled at his tanned, perfectly muscled body. Scars were scattered all over him, but I didn’t want to delve into finding an explanation for that right now. Across his left pectoral muscle was his intricate black tattoo of a cross and the words: My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9. I had never asked him about it before. My fingertips traced over it, and I felt him shiver. He closed his eyes and pulled me close.