by APRIL FLOYD
“We had better busy ourselves with wedding preparations then,” Elizabeth said and looked to her aunt.
“It is a pity Bingley’s hothouses have not yet been filled with wonderful specimens to choose from, but greenery from the woods will do perfectly well. We must go out with the footmen to find just the perfect branches and send to Meryton for all their wax candles,” Madeline Gardiner said as she stood and began counting on her fingers the things that must be done.
Caroline joined in the planning. “Eliza, you and I could accompany Miss Darcy to London to gather her trousseau.”
Bingley reddened at this and looked to Elizabeth’s uncle. “I believe this is where we make our exit, sir.”
He agreed and stood to quit the parlor. He kissed his wife before leaving with Bingley.
“I do not know that I am needed on this trip to London. I would not like to see my mother as she loves to frequent the shops in Mayfair when in Town. With Jane’s wedding day near, I am certain she is flitting about gathering a trousseau as well,” Elizabeth explained, her voice trembling when she mentioned her sister Jane.
Her aunt took her hand. “Surely you would not miss Janey’s wedding, my dear. You will regret it if you do.”
Elizabeth swiped at the tears that gathered as her aunt pulled her close. “Jane has written begging me to return to London, but I do not see how I might with my mother so angry. I imagine she is even more upset that Jane has said she wishes to marry her gentleman in Town instead of at Pemberley.”
“Edward and I will go to London and open our townhome. It has been so long since we were there, it might take a bit to gather up servants and such but it is for Jane’s wedding. You may stay with us.”
“Are you certain it would be no trouble?” Elizabeth asked, her heart longing to see her dearest sister again.
“We had no intention of missing Jane’s wedding so it will not be a burden my dear. Let us help Bingley and Miss Darcy marry and then we are off to Town for Jane’s wedding. It will be great fun and good practice for us as your cousins will be of marriageable age in a few years,” Aunt Madeline laughed and Elizabeth knew all was right in her world.
Caroline steered them back to their plans and the ladies had their list completed for wedding preparations by the time dinner was served.
The next day, Elizabeth went alone to pay a call at Longbourn to thank Miss Darcy for her concern. Hill, the housekeeper, said the young lady was not home but out with her cousin and aunt on a trip into Meryton.
Mr. Darcy arrived on a huge, black horse as Elizabeth was turning to take the carriage back to Netherfield.
She stepped forward and ran a hand along the horse’s mane delighting in the soft, long hair. “My, he is a beautiful specimen. I would love to ride him sometime if it pleases you.”
Mr. Darcy dismounted and made a bow to her, his smile bright as the winter sun in a cloudless sky. “He is strong and obstinate, Miss Bennet. If you are a skilled horsewoman, I think you still might find him a challenge.”
“I have several horses at Pemberley as big as this brute, Mr. Darcy. I do not fear them for I know exactly how to handle such creatures,” Elizabeth took the horses reins and walked with Mr. Darcy to his small stable.
“I do not know many ladies who would wish to ride Lucifer. His name is well-earned.” He took the reins from her and handed them to his stable boy.
“I came to see your sister and assure her I am well. I am sorry she is out at the moment.” Elizabeth shielded her eyes from the sun as they made their way back to Longbourn’s front door.
“She will be sorry to have missed your visit but I will tell her I saw for myself that you are indeed well,” Mr. Darcy said, his voice holding a playful air.
Elizabeth wanted to stay and talk with him, but it would not be proper to invite herself into his home. Instead, she gave him her thanks and said her goodbye.
Mr. Darcy reached out his hand when she turned to go. “Will you wait just a moment, Miss Bennet? I wanted to ask you something, or rather tell you something.”
Her heart raced as she placed her hand in his. He led her to the path that ran down the side of the house to the gardens. There was a bench by the little wood that blocked Longbourn from the lane that led toward Netherfield.
They sat together and Mr. Darcy took her other hand. He was troubled, that much she could tell. “Mr. Darcy, what is it that troubles you?”
He silenced her with words that tumbled forth. “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
Elizabeth was stunned into silence. She had thought he might say that he wished to know her better or begin a courtship but he had used the word love.
He waited patiently for her to speak, his gaze never wavering.
She swallowed and licked her lips before biting the corner of her lower lip. “Mr. Darcy,” she began, “were you hoping I might marry you?”
He dropped his gaze then and shrugged. “There was a time I hoped for such a thing but now, I am uncertain. I have learned things that leave me unsettled.”
Elizabeth had not expected this declaration either. Her day had turned out quite differently than she planned. She pulled her hands from his and stood, wondering just what he had learned about her from anyone in Hertfordshire.
Before she could think better of it, she exclaimed, “This is all the reply I might expect? I wish to be informed why I am thus rejected. What have you learned of me?”
Mr. Darcy stood and faced her, his own ire rising with hers. “Did you not try to turn your friend’s affections from my sister? She is a wonderful girl and a good match for Bingley. She had never done a thing to warrant such treatment as you gave her. And what you did to Lieutenant Wickham was a most terrible thing to do to a young man. I was astonished to learn of these things. I thought you were better than a proud and spoilt woman, but you are not. And yet, I do love you. What I might do about that is more than I can bear to think of at the moment.”
Elizabeth was livid. “Why would you think to tell me of your admiration and love when you feel you have mistaken my character? You have laid these sins at my feet without affording me the grace to explain what you have so obviously misunderstood. I could have loved you, no, I did love you. I wanted you in spite of the fact my mother would never speak to me again. How could I have thought you might be the gentleman to rise to the station afforded the man who will be my husband? Good day, Mr. Darcy.”
Elizabeth ran to her carriage from the garden, tears falling freely down her face. Mr. Darcy called to her, but she would not allow him to see how he had broken her heart.
Chapter 14
When Elizabeth arrived at Netherfield, only her aunt was there. Caroline had gone to Meryton with Bingley and Edward Gardiner was ice fishing with some gentlemen he had met at the Lucases.
Lady Madeline grew excited when Elizabeth entered the parlor. She went to stand by the fireplace without having looked at Elizabeth closely as she entered the room. “Look Lizzy, we found some lovely greenery not a mile away. There is more in the greenhouses that we will bring in on the morrow for Bingley shall be wed in but a few days.”
Elizabeth nodded her approval before sitting on the sofa near the fireplace. She dared not speak for her anger and tears would flow together and she did not wish to ruin her friend’s wedding with her own troubles.
Her aunt came quickly to her side as Elizabeth dropped her head into her hands. “Lizzy, what has happened? Are you ill again, dear?”
She shook her head and moaned into her hands. “I have ruined my chance at any future with Mr. Darcy.”
“What do you mean, Lizzy? Are you not in love with him?” Lady Madeline seemed shocked.
Elizabeth raised her head. Her eyes were red and she knew a headache would soon appear. She hated crying for that very reason, but when she was angry, the tears always came. “I do love him even though I should not. Today he said he loved me too
, loved and admired me. But he knows I did not approve of his sister for Charles and some other gossip from a most unreliable source has poisoned him against me.”
Her aunt rubbed her back. “Well, I say if he will not even listen to your side of things he would not make a very good husband at all. I did like him though for he is handsome, intelligent, and a match for the likes of you, my sweet girl. Are you certain there is nothing that might be done?”
“If I write to him, what could I say that will change his opinion? He once told me that his good opinion once lost was lost forever. He believes I am only a spoilt lady of the Ton.” Elizabeth said, her voice wavering and her lips trembling.
Lady Madeline gave a wry laugh. Elizabeth could not see the humor in her situation. “Oh dear, I see we have two proud people, prejudiced against each other, locked in a battle of love and hate. I do think you ought to write to him and have your uncle take the letter to Longbourn. He will speak with Mr. Darcy on your behalf.”
“I do not wish for the Bingleys to know. I would not ruin Charles’s wedding day for my own happiness. As long as we keep this a secret, I will do as you say. I do not wish to alarm Charles and Caroline though I feel a headache coming.” Elizabeth rubbed her temple and smiled weakly at her aunt.
“Come, I shall have chamomile tea sent up and I have a draught my physician made for me. It will help you tremendously. And cool water and a cloth for your head.”
Elizabeth left her aunt and went upstairs. Her heart ached over Mr. Darcy’s words, but she was determined to hide her disappointment from her friends until Bingley was off on his wedding trip with Miss Darcy.
The wedding! Elizabeth had not thought what torture it would be with Mr. Darcy in attendance. He would most certainly attend the wedding of his only sister. She cursed fate for bringing her to Hertfordshire and closed her eyes as the pinch of pain seized her head.
Bingley, in his morning coat, stood at one end of the decorated ballroom. Elizabeth sat in the last row of seats as Mr. Darcy stood beside her friend and looked out over the assembled guests. Elizabeth dropped her gaze whenever his eyes swept over her.
The groom had invited the whole of Meryton and the surrounding county to see him marry Miss Darcy. Elizabeth thought it a sweet gesture, and it helped her to escape notice, but Caroline had thought it silly as they still knew only twenty or so of the families who lived nearby.
Bingley had told his sister that he intended to know all of his guests before his first wedding anniversary with Miss Darcy. Caroline had dismissed his claim as absurdity.
Elizabeth breathed deeply as she lifted her gaze and pretended to only see Bingley awaiting his bride. She swallowed the lump in her throat when Mr. Darcy turned and caught her gaze, pulling it in his direction.
He seemed as she had always known him to be; a light in his eyes and lips ready to smile. Her heart flipped in her chest and she fanned herself for the air the movement supplied.
It was a dangerous game to look upon the man and recall his words that day. How ardently I admire and love you. They seemed like a curse to her now and she finally dropped her gaze.
She would not remain in Hertfordshire after the wedding for it was too painful to think of him just down the road from Netherfield.
There was Jane’s wedding first in London and then Lydia and the duke would have their ceremony at his estate in Manchester.
Elizabeth had received a letter from Lydia the day before telling of the proposal and wedding date. She wrote that she hoped Lord and Lady Stafford would come and show their support.
Now that she had faced Mr. Darcy, she thought she might face down the duke as well. Elizabeth loved Lydia but did not wish to sanction her marriage to a scoundrel, even if he was family.
Her thoughts of her family melted away as Miss de Bourgh ceased her efforts on the piano forte. Everyone stood as Miss Darcy came down the aisle holding her sweet bouquet of silk flowers Caroline had custom-made in an exquisite shop in Mayfair. Miss Darcy walked slowly towards Bingley and the vicar on Colonel Fitzwilliam’s arm.
She was a beautiful bride and Elizabeth turned to see Bingley’s expression when he caught sight of her. Her heart contracted and her breath was taken again by the joy her friend’s smile betrayed. If there was ever a man in love, Bingley was that man.
When their vows were said and they were announced to those gathered as husband and wife, Elizabeth patted the happy tears she had indulged with her lace handkerchief. Bingley lifted his wife off her feet and cradled her in his arms ready to carry her out to the carriage that waited in the drive.
There was laughter from the men and gasps from the ladies as the happy groom carried his wife back down the aisle and quit the ballroom.
Caroline chased after them scolding her brother. “Charles, the wedding breakfast! We must have the wedding breakfast!”
Elizabeth waited to leave the ballroom until Mr. Darcy had gone and then she lingered there. Colonel Fitzwilliam approached and offered her his arm. “Come, Miss Bennet, or you will not have a seat for the meal. I might be persuaded to bring you a plate here if you prefer.”
She smiled at the soldier, admiring his red coat and his effort. “I thought I might go upstairs after toasting the happy couple. Neither will notice my absence with all the well-wishers mingling about.”
The colonel laughed. “Mr. Bingley will most certainly miss your presence if I may say so. You are his best friend, Miss Bennet. Leave your own worries here and return to nurse them later. I promise to be delightful and provide distraction if you sit with me.”
Elizabeth wondered whether he knew about the pain his cousin had caused her and was attempting to make peace with her in his stead.
She thought it did not matter and placed her hand upon his bright, cardinal-red sleeve. “Since I do enjoy a man who is delightful and distracting, I accept your offer.”
The colonel laughed and Elizabeth thought he would be a wonderful husband for one of her younger sisters. He was charming and knew how to coax a lady out of her mood.
Chapter 15
When Elizabeth rose a few mornings after the Bingley wedding, a maid was already busy packing her things. Caroline was to return to London with Elizabeth and her family for Jane’s wedding to Alec Buchanan.
She turned to the maid who always attended her at Netherfield. “Please have hot water sent up for a bath, Josie. I wish to wash the dust of Hertfordshire off my feet before we leave this morning.”
The maid curtseyed and left and Elizabeth retrieved her brush from the dressing table. She went to sit in the window seat overlooking the maze in the garden.
She brushed her hair as though trying to shake loose all her troubles and at last considered writing to Mr. Darcy so he would know the truth about Mr. Wickham.
Rising to gather paper and ink, Elizabeth began composing the words in her head. When she sat to write them down, her hand trembled. Breathing deeply, she calmed her nerves and wrote out an answer for all he held against her.
I did discourage my friend from his pursuit of your sister but only because I did not think she was in love with Mr. Bingley. The manner in which she treated Colonel Fitzwilliam caused jealousy to rise up in my friend and I simply acknowledged that she seemed much happier in his presence than in the company of my friend.
When it came to the matter of Mr. Wickham, Elizabeth paused to recall the details of his betrayal of her family. She was astonished to find how painful it still was to think of even after many months. She wrote quickly so as not to prolong her misery.
As for Wickham, I will not say that he was always so wicked for I have known him since we were children. He was always the one for taking a risk or planning an adventure. We were quite close once upon a time. But as he grew, something in him changed. He became greedy and foolish. He took advantage of two young maids in my family’s employ and left one with a child to raise alone. His own father had covered his debts and debauchery as well as he might on a steward’s pay before dying of a broken heart
. His only son was a wastrel though he had been given every advantage.
Here, Elizabeth paused for her tears fell too greatly for her to see. George Wickham had been her particular friend. She had thought she knew him better than anyone growing up at Pemberley. They climbed trees together and competed for Mr. Bennet’s attention.
She had not known of his misdeeds as they grew older, not until her father explained why he could not give the living at Kympton to the young man who was still dear to her at that time. She had argued her own father on his behalf and had been tricked like everyone else. Wiping her eyes and turning her attention back to her letter, she focused on Mr. Darcy. She wanted him to understand.
When my father denied Wickham the living at Kympton, I argued in his favor, threatened my father with the removal of my affection, and behaved horribly. All for a young man who did not deserve my loyalty. My father was forced to tell me all that Wickham had done after he paid him to leave Pemberley and never return. Then, this past summer in Ramsgate, Wickham tried to elope with my youngest sister as a means of ruining her. My sister Mary overheard the plans he made with Lydia and came to tell Jane, my eldest sister, and myself. We devised a plan to stop them and carried it out perfectly. My father would not be kind were he ever to see him again or hear that I had been in the same room with him. I can add no more to this letter as the maid has come in to help me dress to leave Netherfield.
Elizabeth left the letter to dry on the writing desk and rose to take her bath. When she was ready to face the day, she would seal the letter and have her uncle take it to Longbourn when the carriages pulled away from Netherfield Park.
Mr. Darcy held the missive that Elizabeth’s uncle had brought in the afternoon before his party quit Netherfield. He thought of their conversation and Lord Stafford’s manner. The man was not pleased with him, but he was cordial and he urged Mr. Darcy to think hard about judging Miss Bennet too harshly. His parting words haunted Mr. Darcy. My niece is a beautiful and wealthy young woman. You must not think she will be without suitors for long.