by Vera Quinn
“I love you, too. For the rest of our lives, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, ‘til death do us part.” We both say this together. I reach down and give her a kiss—one held with a lot of promise.
Epilogue
We’ve been married now for two years. We just found out that we are having a baby. Julia is so worried that she will turn out like her parents. I reassure her that will never happen.
“Look at Valorie and how she has bloomed under your touch and guidance. There is nothing to worry about. You will be a fantastic mom. I have all the faith in the world with you,” I tell her.
“Thank you for always being there, for reminding me of who I am now. Sometimes when I think of them, I think of what-if? I know it’s going to be okay. I have you. I have Valorie. I love you so very much,” she tells me.
“Love you to, honey,” I tell her as I draw her into my arms.
The End
Also By Penny Anglene
Ink-Fusion
1. Jax
2. Samantha
Haunted Hills MC (with Vera Quinn)
Love the Man, Love the Club
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Why Me? Why Now?
CJ Baty
Author’s Note
Why Me? Why Now? is a short story involving characters from the Warfield Hotel Mystery Series. You don’t have to read the series to enjoy this story. Damien Fitzgerald and Robert Wyler are the two main characters. The story takes place after Roaring Waters, has some behind the scenes from Damien that happened in A Warfield Christmas, and has an HEA at the end.
If you have read the series, you will notice that Damien and Robert’s personalities have taken a bit of a change. However, I don’t think anyone can be touched by cancer and not be changed. You’ll see what I mean as you read.
I did a good deal of research before I wrote this story in regard to the chemotherapy and subsequent possible side effects of the drugs used. This is a work of fiction. I may not have gotten things exactly correct, so please forgive any inaccuracies.
Chapter One
Damien Fitzgerald couldn’t believe how his life had changed in the last year. He was in therapy and making progress in leaving the past in the past. The assignments from the newspaper were heating up with lots of potential. The biggest change was his relationship with Robert Wyler. He was in love with an amazing man who had become his everything. Who would have thought that could happen? Certainly not him.
Robert was such a twit when he first met him. He was rude and arrogant with a body that frightened him. Damien had never been into big men, and Robert was certainly a big man. Wide shoulders with tattoo sleeves around his massive biceps, he was tall as well and his presence would bring most men to their knees. But that wasn’t the Robert that Damien knew now.
Robert was a kind and giving lover. He was the best friend anyone could ever have who faithfully stood by everyone he cared for—generous with his time and finances. He was a good man. His size had hidden the characteristics that Damien cherished the most.
“Excuse me, I believe your mind is drifting again and my cock is feeling a little rejected at the moment,” Robert purred. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. I just can’t believe how lucky I am.” Damien took Robert’s cock in his hand and slowly rubbed it back to life.
“Ah, that’s it,” Robert cooed.
“This will be even better,” Damien teased as he licked the vein that pulsed along the bottom of Robert’s cock.
Several minutes passed while Damien paid special attention to Robert’s cock and laved it with his tongue. Taking it fully in his mouth, he felt his lover’s back raise off the bed and his hips reach up for more. He never forced Damien, but it was a sure sign that he was doing something right.
Taking him deeper, Damien relished in the feel of the cock just touching the back of his throat. Robert’s body wasn’t the only thing that was impressive about the man. His cock was long and thick, and the most glorious thing Damien had ever tasted. He loved going down on the man.
Just as Robert was reaching his breaking point, Damien used the lube laying by his hip and pushed a finger gently into Robert’s opening. He groaned out in pleasure.
“Damien.”
Damien prepped Robert, covered up, and raised up on his knees to position his cock at Robert’s opening. Once seated as deeply as he could go, he ran his fingers over the gorgeous specimen below him. He licked kisses across the dips in the man’s six-pack, then kissed Robert’s breasts where his nipples were hard and ready for attention. As Damien bit and nipped at them, Robert’s vocals encouraged him to keep going. Running his hands over this man’s body was one of his greatest joys. That’s when he felt the hard, little lump in Robert’s right breast.
They were both so far into their love making that he didn’t think much of it. He began to fuck Robert seriously, and they both quickly reached their climax together.
Later, after they’d cleaned up and were wrapped in each other’s arms, Damien ran his hand across the spot where he had felt the small, hard lump. This time Robert tensed when he touched it.
“Did you know there was a bump here?” Damien asked. He raised up on his elbow and glanced down at Robert.
“It’s nothing,” he answered.
“Nothing? Did you have it checked out?” Damien said.
“No, but I’m sure it’s nothing,” Robert answered. “Let’s get some sleep. I’ve got to leave for the hotel early tomorrow. These days off aren’t long enough.”
Damien didn’t think Robert should just let this go, but he was a grown man and it was his body. A month later, Damien wished he’d pushed Robert harder that night. By then, it was something.
“This is ridiculous,” Robert ranted as he paced the floor outside the doctor’s office. “Why couldn’t he just tell us the results when he called? Why make us come into the office?”
“I don’t know why he asked us to come in, but I’m sure he had his reasons,” Damien answered. The last thing he wanted to do was tell Robert his secret fear.
“Mr. Wyler, the doctor will see you now,” Nancy, the office nurse, said. “Right this way.”
She led them back to Dr. Wharton’s office, past the examination rooms. I had a feeling in my gut that this wasn’t going to be good.
“Come in Robert,” Dr. Wharton said as he shook hands with Robert, then Damien. “Nice to see you again, Damien.”
“What’s all the secrecy, doc? Why did you call me in here today?”
“Robert, the biopsy came back positive. It’s cancer. Breast cancer to be specific.” Dr. Wharton looked at Damien as he spoke.
Damien reached for Robert’s hand only to have him pull it away quickly.
“That’s not possible, doc. I’m a guy. Men don’t get breast cancer,” Robert said adamantly.
“Yes, they do. Yes, it’s uncommon, but it does happen,” Dr. Wharton said sympathetically. “The mammogram confirmed what I suspected in my first examination. We’ll need to do other tests to decide what our best course of action will be. Damien, from the first time you felt the lump until now, does it feel larger?”
Damien reached across Robert’s chest to touch him. Robert swiped his hand away.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Babe, please let me do this. The doctor needs to know if there’s been any change,” Damien begged.
Robert sat rigid in his chair and allowed Damien to touch his breast. He gave a sigh of relief when he realized the lump didn’t feel any larger.
“No. It’s the same as when I first felt it,” Damien told the doctor.
“That’s good,” Dr. Wharton said. “Robert, I believe the prognosis is good. You caught it early and we’re going to beat this.”
“I’m going to set up some
tests. Nancy will call you with the appointment times. We need to be sure the cancer hasn’t spread and which course of action we need to plan out.” Dr. Wharton stood as he spoke. He walked around his desk and took Robert’s hand.
“You are young, healthy, and we caught it early. Those are the plusses,” he said.
“And the negative is—I have cancer,” Robert said dejectedly.
Chapter Two
The meeting with the surgeon went well. He explained that the procedure would be a simple one, as long as the cancer was contained in the lump and had not spread to his lymph nodes. They would, however, want to do several rounds of chemotherapy just to be sure they got it all. There wouldn’t be much of a scar and Robert could return to his workout routine in a couple of months. His strength would return, and he’d be fine.
All the doctors they had met with had positive words and good outlooks about the prognosis. Robert was the one not listening. He couldn’t seem to grasp the good things the doctors were saying. He wallowed in the one word he heard—Cancer.
“Why me? Why now?” Robert screamed at the ceiling in the lobby of the hospital. “I hate all these tests, being poked and prodded by strangers. And I hate feeling hopeless!” Robert ranted as they left the surgeon’s office.
Damien completely understood where Robert was coming from. He’d felt that way all those years ago when he’d been held captive by his then lover. Trussed up like an animal, left in a cold damp basement for days at a time, Damien had felt that hopelessness. Seeing Robert battling this disease and the emotional roller coaster he was riding was something he’d never thought to see.
He tried his best to give Robert the space he needed to cope, but after two weeks, he’d had as much as he could take. Robert had stood by his side through the months of therapy he’d been through and had encouraged him daily with kindness and constant patience. Damien wanted to do the same for Robert.
The drive home from the appointment finally brought things to a head between the two of them.
“I’ve asked Justin for a leave of absence to travel with you,” Robert said as he stared out the passenger window of the car. “It’s a lie and I hate lying, but the thought of them knowing and the pity in their eyes. I just can’t take it.”
This wasn’t like Robert at all. Dr. Wharton had warned Damien that Robert could develop some depression and to expect it.
“What the hell, Robert? You haven’t told them what’s going on?” Damien was astonished. “And I have no plans to leave you for an assignment with all of this is going on.”
“I know you’re not and I know you wouldn’t leave. I…,” he said, still staring out the window. “I can’t keep pretending everything is all right, okay? I didn’t tell any of them about the—you know.”
“Robert, I’m sorry. I just assumed you would let Justin know what was going on. He’s your best friend.”
Justin and Peter Warfield owned and operated the hotel where Robert worked. He managed the bar there. They were also two of their closest friends. Justin was the one who had brought Robert and Damien together.
“Oh God, you didn’t tell Krystal either. She’s going to hang us both by our balls.” Damien laughed.
Robert laughed too, for the first time in weeks. A rush of joy pulled at Damien’s heart. He’d missed that laugh and Robert’s beautiful smile.
“Honey, you have to tell them,” Damien said.
Robert turned to look at Damien. His eyes filled with unshed tears.
“I can’t. Not now…” he paused, then added, “You can’t tell them either.”
Justin had given Robert the time off he’d ask for without questioning the request.
The day before Robert’s scheduled surgery, Damien ordered one of Robert’s favorite meals from a restaurant a few blocks from their apartment. He couldn’t have anything to eat after midnight, so Damien wanted him to have his favorites tonight.
The steak and baked potatoes were perfect. Damien didn’t miss that Robert ate a few bites and then he’d play with the food on his plate, stirring it around here and there.
“What’s wrong?” Damien asked.
“I’ve been thinking,” Robert said as he put his fork down on the table placemat.
“And…” Damien encouraged him to speak his mind.
“Take me to bed. Fuck me until I can’t remember any of this. Make it disappear.” Robert’s face flushed as he spoke.
Damien could hear the anguish in his voice as Robert made his wishes known. The words tore at Damien’s heart. They had only been intimate two times since the diagnosis. Robert hadn’t wanted to be touched. He even stayed at the hotel where he worked on a couple of occasions.
“Damien,” Robert said. His voice broke on Damien’s name.
“I’ll clean this up later. Come on,” Damien said as he reached his hand out to take Robert’s.
In their bedroom, Damien slowly and tenderly undressed his lover. He kissed each inch of skin he exposed as he went. Damien knew this would be the last time they would be able to be lovers for a while. He wanted to make it good for Robert.
Suddenly, Robert stopped Damien’s ministrations.
“Damien, I’m not some broken thing you have to be careful with. I need you to fuck me. Fuck me like you did in the cabin when we were hiding out. You are my everything and I want it rough and strong between us. Though I appreciate the tenderness, it’s not what I need.” Robert’s eyes filled with determination. “And if you can’t do that for me, then I don’t know how I’ll get through this.”
“Shut up and spread your legs,” Damien said, a sly grin on his face. “I’ve had about enough of you telling me what you want. What about what I want? I want my lover. The one who makes me scream his name when I’m filling him with my cum.”
Damien wanted to cherish Robert—shower him with love and affection. But, if Robert needed rough and strong, Damien could do that too.
Once Robert was loosened up and slick, Damien covered up and pushed into his lover, not holding back. The intrusion was quick and rough, but the look of contentment on Robert’s face told him everything he needed to know.
“So, you want it like this?” Damien said as he ground into Robert. “How about you get on your knees and I’ll show you how rough it can be?”
Damien withdrew from Robert’s body and watched him as he flipped over onto all fours. He looked back over his shoulder at Damien and nodded that he was ready.
“Put your hands on the headboard and keep them there,” Damien demanded.
Joining their bodies together again, Damien began a quick rhythm that had both men groaning in no time. Robert tried to get Damien to go faster by bumping his ass back against Damien, but Damien slapped his ass, leaving his handprint glowing red.
“Stop that. I’m in charge here,” Damien said, though he knew he wasn’t. Robert was doing one hell of a good job being a bossy bottom at the moment. Damien was quickly reaching the point of no return. Looking down at Robert’s muscled back and shoulders, he noticed a fine sheen of moisture making his normally tan skin glisten in the bedroom’s low lighting.
“God, Damien, please don’t stop,” Robert breathed out. “Almost… almost there.”
Damien slapped Robert’s ass hard. It was worth it when he heard Robert’s shouts.
“Damn it! Damien! Oh, fuck, Damien.”
Robert came with shudders rippling his muscles. Damien felt the man’s thigh muscles strain and bulge as he released his load. It was too much for the thin thread that Damien had been hanging onto. He came with fire rushing through his veins. Together, they crumbled to the bed.
Damien felt Robert shudder against him. He was crying. Rolling Robert to face him, Damien pulled the bigger man into his arms and peppered his face and neck with soft kisses.
“What can I do?” he asked Robert.
Robert batted at the tears on his face and pushed away from Damien.
“You can’t do anything. Oh, I know you would, if there was something.
This is my fight and I can’t ask you to help me fight it.”
“Are you absolutely crazy?” Damien asked as he set up in the bed. “You don’t have to ask me to do anything. I’m here and I’m going to stay here. And we are going to get you through this together. Don’t even think about trying to push me away because you can’t.”
Robert looked up at Damien, a half-smile lifting his lips.
He reached for Damien’s hand. Holding it tightly, he said, “I love you.”
Chapter Three
Damien paced the floor in the waiting area of the hospital. The surgery had started over an hour ago, and the doctor had warned him it could take two to three hours. The waiting was killing him. He thought being held captive in that cold, damp basement by Carter Preston was awful. But this? This was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. How had that happened? How had Robert become more important than his own wellbeing?
Doctors and nurses came and went. They talked to other people who were waiting on news about their family members. Every time a white coat would appear in the doorway, Damien would jump up.
An elderly man, sitting across from him, offered to get him a cup of coffee.
“You look like you could use it,” he said kindly.
He brought Damien a cup and sat it on the table between them.