by Vera Quinn
“Emily, let’s be honest here. I could get hit by a car today and die. I want to spend the rest of the time I have with you and the rest of the time you have with me.”
“Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you. I love you.”
Walking into my appointment, Dr. James smiles as he says, “Congratulations, you are officially in remission. We will scan you again in six months than yearly.” Jumping up, I wrap my arms around him, and I hear, “Just got engaged, and she is already hugging other men.” We all laugh.
Colton
I’ve officially been living with Olivia for two months now. We are going to Mom and Eli’s tonight for her celebration of being cancer-free and her and Eli’s engagement. When she moved in with Eli, she was going to keep her house for me. When I moved in with Olivia, she put it on the market. I got a job at a local construction company. If tonight goes my way, before next year, both Olivia and Allie will be taking my last name. Walking down the driveway holding Olivia’s hand on one side and Allie’s on the other side, I feel like I’m king of the world. I’ve made up with Carson and Carly. Claire also let me video talk to Caitlynn. She was confused, and it upset her when we told her I was her dad, so for now, I’m happy to be just Carson and Carly’s dad to her. I know how happy and loved she is, and that is all that matters to me.
The party is underway. Grabbing Olivia’s hand, I tug her with me to the backyard. Walking to the middle of it, I drop to one knee.
Her hands go to her mouth. Reaching up, I take her hands in mine. “I am the man I am today because of you. I want to go to sleep with you every night and wake up every morning with you in my arms. I know we will forever be in love, so I have just one question for you. Will you marry me?”
“Oh, my God. Yes! Of course, I’ll marry you.”
“Okay, so now I have one more question. Can I adopt Allie? I’ve already talked to her, and she is ready like last week. Oh, she also gave me her blessing to ask you.”
Dropping to her knees, she grabs my cheeks and kisses me deeply. Pulling back, she looks in my eyes and says, “Yes, of course, you can adopt her.”
The End
A Spark of Life
Renee Jean
Katrina leaned back, letting her head rest against the back of the sofa. It had been one of those days; no, the mother of one of those days. Every muscle in her body ached from exhaustion, and her mind was beyond focus. Today had been the culmination of tests, theories, and treatment plans from specialists and doctors they had been working with for over a year.
With her eyes closed, she heard her daughter humming on the floor in front of her. Audrey, sweet little Audrey. Her heart and soul cried out as she heard the words from the doctor echo once more through her mind. Your daughter has autism. They believed she would be on the higher functioning side of the spectrum, a condition formerly known as Asperger’s. She made eye contact some of the time, attempted to speak occasionally. Katrina had been floored by the news. She had overheard people discussing the idea of autism in different appointments but had never believed it for a second. Especially once she began researching and saw the list of symptoms.
It was true Audrey didn’t smile or laugh a lot, nor did she cry or complain. But she also didn’t get obsessive about any one subject like the articles she read mentioned. If anything, she seemed bored a good deal of the time. Katrina, or her husband, Tom, would always try to play with Audrey or read her books, but none of it ever seemed to hold her attention.
Katrina sat up, elbows on knees with her hands folded between them, and looked at her daughter. Audrey was sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, holding her doll by the hand and letting it spin around as she hummed. The doll stared blankly into space as it was twirled around and around. Audrey’s look wasn’t far off from the doll in most ways. She looked off into the distance, seemingly staring at nothing. Her mouth twitched with only the smallest hint of a smile as something in her mind made her happy.
Tears stung the corners of Katrina’s eyes and her nose burned as she fought the urge to cry once more. From the moment she put her daughter in her car seat and climbed behind the wheel, she had done everything in her power to keep it together. Audrey wouldn’t understand if she broke down and Tom was stuck at work for a few more hours so she couldn’t have him watch her. She had to stay strong.
Audrey continued to move her doll through the imaginary world around her. The humming never stopped, though she seemed to be simply making it up as she went along. Katrina was about to get up and look at what was in the kitchen for dinner when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She slid it out, hoping it was Tom, but her mom’s name and number showed on the screen instead. She debated only a second before answering.
“Hey, Mom,” Katrina answered.
“Oh, honey,” her mother Marlena, cooed. “So it wasn’t good news then?”
How did she do that? Katrina shook her head even though her mother couldn’t see her. “All I said was hey, Mom, how did you get doom and disaster out of that?”
“I didn’t say doom and disaster,” Marlena stated.
“Your tone did.” Katrina waited a moment, but she got no reply. “For the record, no, it wasn’t good news. The doctors believe after observing her and running all of their tests and everything that she is autistic.”
Marlena digested the comment, then chose her words carefully. “How do they suggest we move forward?”
“I have enough reading material about autism to drown a college kid and I’m sure Tom will read everything he can find online. They said she had a lot of normal functions and at her age a lot of the symptoms may not be too noticeable.”
“What are the ‘normal functions’ they were talking about?” Katrina could practically hear the air quotes in Marlena’s voice.
“She talks, at least some, not as much as other kids her age, but she isn’t mute. She will look at people and doesn’t avoid all interaction. She isn’t the most social child anyway, but she doesn’t seem to be upset when put around other kids, usually. She’s just quiet. She is mostly what they call normal, but they did talk about patterns, and she is more stressed out by change than other kids I’ve seen. She struggles to keep her attention on anything for too long.”
“Oh, that’s just kid stuff,” Marlena broke in. “I’m surprised they didn’t tell you she had A.D.H.D. on top of it.”
“They did mention she may develop intense interests. In time, they could seem like obsessions, but we should encourage the passion when it shows. The biggest things they mentioned were the patterns and social interactions. She may struggle when being around groups or get anxious around new places and people to what seems like an extreme level. It is going to be a learning experience for us all.”
“I don’t know what to say. Just know I’m here for you, anything you need.”
I know, Mom, I appreciate it.” She gave her mom an unseen smile. “I’m going to figure out dinner and then Tom and I need to talk tonight and come up with a game plan. Once we know more, I’ll give you a call.”
“No problem. I love you, sweetie.” Marlena made kissing sounds.
“I love you, too, Mom. Thanks again.” Katrina stood up and slipped the phone back into her pocket, then made her way to the kitchen to get dinner started.
“They were sure?” Tom asked. He sat on the edge of the bed staring at his wife. She nodded and took a seat next to him. He sighed heavily. “So we can expect what, exactly?”
“I’m honestly not sure. They gave me so much reading material, I feel kind of overwhelmed. Plus, I tried to research online a little this afternoon, and it is unbelievable the amount of information that’s out there.” She shook her head.
He put his arm around her shoulders and held her as she finally allowed a stream of frustrated tears to flow down her cheeks. Eventually, the tears subsided, and she got ready for bed. With puffy eyes and a nose still slightly congested, she drifted into a troubled sleep.
The next morning, Tom got Audrey up and mad
e her breakfast. Katrina usually did that so he could get an early start, but he knew she hadn’t slept well. As he cut up pieces of banana and stirred a cinnamon swirl into his daughter’s oatmeal, he watched the little girl. She was humming the same song she had been last night as she sat on the kitchen floor with her teddy bear. He bent down, picking her up and placing her on her booster seat. She kept a tight grip on her stuffed bear until she was settled and her food was in front of her.
Tom slid the bear from her grasp, and she ate quietly. Audrey never took her eyes off her food. She didn’t smile about what she was eating, nor did she get upset about her bear being taken away. Her face remained blank. His heart broke as he thought about her experiencing a lifetime of emotionless moments. He knew he was probably overreacting, but the thought was still a difficult one.
He glanced up as Katrina entered the kitchen. She gave a weak smile of gratitude before kissing Audrey on top of her head. As the little girl finished her food, she began humming the song once more. Katrina looked at Tom with wide eyes as she recognized the song from the day before.
“Down,” Audrey said. It wasn’t a question or a demand. She waited patiently as her father got her down and carried her into the living room. He put her bear next to her, but she saw her doll instead and once more began twirling her as she continued humming.
Katrina sipped a steaming cup of coffee as she watched Audrey play in her own little world. Tom asked about her plans for the day as he headed off to get ready for work. She leaned against the door jam of the bathroom while keeping an eye on her daughter. Katrina mentioned the errands she needed to run and the list of articles she was going to read through. She kissed him goodbye as he grabbed his keys and wished her a good day. He took a few hours off but he had a meeting to prepare for so he rushed through his shower and got dressed.
Katrina took her time reading some of the material the doctors had given her, then got Audrey ready to go. Once they were both dressed and she had her list, she strapped her daughter into her car seat. It was disturbing that she kept humming the same song over and over. Please don’t let creepy humming become one of her obsessive things, Katrina thought to herself desperately. She couldn’t figure out where she had heard the song or if she was making it up.
Just as Tom had noticed earlier there was no emotion on her daughter’s face as she watched the scenery go past. There was no excitement, fear, or sorrow over any of the places they went. Audrey didn’t interact with any of the people they came into contact with and even when the lady at the bank offered Audrey a piece of candy there was no reaction. She was quiet most of the time, though occasionally a few bars of her mysterious song would float up from the back seat. Katrina shook her head, not understanding what was going on with her daughter. She knew the diagnosis was something she would need to come to grips with and the condition would require adjustment, but this was still so far out there, she felt lost.
As she pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall where the pharmacy was located, she leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She sent a silent little prayer up to the fates that someone would help guide her and help her find something Audrey could love and would be a therapy for her, something to help her deal with a world that may be overwhelming and cruel to someone with her issues.
After a few deep breaths, she climbed from the car and helped Audrey down to walk beside her. She took her daughter’s hand and checked for traffic. Just as she was about to step out into the parking lot, she heard something. She froze. It was music, but there was something familiar about it. She cocked her head, turning toward the sound. She held Audrey’s hand tight as she closed her eyes, concentrating. She knew that song, but how, why? As she listened, she heard a quiet echo coming from her side. She opened her eyes and looked down in surprise. She was hearing the same song Audrey had been humming since the previous day.
She turned back, scanning the storefronts for the source of the music. She looked over all of them, but nothing stood out until she went back to each of them one by one. Third from the end was a small dance studio with the door open. The music was drifting from inside. She had a vague recollection of passing by the studio when she dropped off some prescriptions the day before. Now, as she made her way down toward the studio once more, she realized she could feel Audrey actually pulling her along. The little girl was in a hurry to get to the music, it seemed.
As they reached the door, Audrey didn’t hesitate. She tried to turn into the front office. Katrina let go and allowed her daughter to explore. The woman behind the front desk smiled when they came in. “What a sweet little angel she is.” Katrina smiled back but said nothing. Audrey had found the large window looking into the practice studio and was pressed against the glass, her tiny hands spread against the windowsill. “Audrey, come on, let’s let the nice lady get back to her dancers.”
Audrey didn’t move. Katrina grabbed for her daughter’s hand, but Audrey squirmed away with a small groan. “Is she interested in dance?” the woman asked. “We have our bitty ballerina program if you would like some information.”
Katrina was shaking her head as she finally pried Audrey from the window, but she saw something that made her stop. There was a smile on Audrey’s face as she continued to watch the dancers in the next room. It wasn’t a smirk or a simple twitch of the lips, she was grinning ear to ear. On top of that, Katrina saw a light in her daughter’s eyes she had never seen before. It was like a spark had been lit inside her. She glanced up at the woman who was already holding out the papers about the dance program.
Katrina had to actually pick Audrey up and carry her from the dance studio in order to leave, but she had taken the information with her. Audrey had been agitated when they left, but once she had her doll and could twirl her to the music, humming the song, she calmed down. Katrina rushed through the last few errands and got home to prepare dinner, excited to share the experience with Tom. After dinner, while Audrey was watching some videos, Katrina explained what had happened at the dance studio.
Tom was skeptical and mentioned some concerns about her ability to socialize or communicate with the instructor and other dancers, but Katrina wanted to give her a chance. With a grunt of resignation, Tom relented. Katrina kissed him and put Audrey to bed.
In the morning, after breakfast was done and the house had been cleaned, Katrina took Audrey back to the studio and signed her up for the bitty ballerina program.
She explained Audrey’s difficulties, but the woman assured her they would take care of her and Katrina would be there for classes in case there was a concern. They had a class starting less than an hour later, so Katrina ran to get coffee and a bagel to snack on and bought Audrey some dance attire.
As soon as they entered the room, Audrey was gone. She ran over to the instructor and sat with the bottom of her feet pressed together like the other girls were doing. She looked directly at the instructor and when the other girls were told to welcome her she gave a shy smile and waved at them. Katrina was blown away. She sat through the entire hour-long class fighting wave after wave of happy tears. Her daughter was like a completely different person when she was dancing. When it was time to go, she quickly grew quiet again and focused on her doll in the car, making it turn and twirl as she had done in class.
Katrina filled Tom in over dinner and he couldn’t believe it. Katrina gushed about the way Audrey interacted and how she seemed alive when the music was playing. She pulled out her tablet and found a video of ballet dancers online. She placed it in front of Audrey and Tom’s jaw dropped to the ground as he watched his shy daughter transform and light up while the dancers gracefully moved across the screen. “We have to keep her in that program, honey,” Katrina whispered. “Dancing may just be the thing that gives our wonderful daughter the life she deserves.”
Of Strength & Courage
Mandi Konesni
Dedication
This story goes out to every family touched by this terrible disease, in all its forms. Cancer
survivors and their families are some of the strongest people you will ever meet, and I honor them for what they've been through. Cancer has affected my own family and friends as well, which is why I jumped at the chance to write this special story. My wish is that it brings you strength, courage, and above all else... hope.
To Marie, your light is sorely missed in this world, you were taken far too soon. Wherever you are, I hope you're finally content and at peace. Our lives are darker without you in them.
Entrée
Squinting into the bright lights, Marie Lynne took her place at the center of the stage, a genuine smile gracing her face. As the music swelled, she began to dance, letting the symphony guide her feet. She lived for this... the moment it was just her and the stage, the lights obscuring the audience so it felt like she was dancing to an empty theatre. She'd worked so hard to earn her place in this world, and tonight was her crowning achievement.
At twenty-four years old, she had become known as La Belle De Ballet, the beauty of the ballet. Her lithe form was made for the dance; it had been her only desire for as long as she could remember. Marie remembered her mother trudging her back and forth to classes endlessly. She'd spent long hours of training, yet she'd never faltered. She wanted to dance.
When she'd been accepted to the American Ballet Theatre, she and her mother had celebrated with an impromptu trip to Vegas to see the showgirls. Incorporating some of what she'd seen into her acts had served to distinguish her from others, giving her work a slightly more modern flair. It earned her roles, and subsequent accolades.
Tonight, she was dancing in her most prestigious role yet. Aurora required tremendous stamina and technique, as she would be dancing for most of the run-time for the production of Sleeping Beauty. The first act alone would take everything she had. Marie was nervous, but the nerves were countered with sheer excitement. This was what she'd always dreamed of... what she'd been destined for.