by Vera Quinn
“Luke, I want you.” Max’s confession has more meaning than what the words hold. My heart races like a skittish colt on race day, but I ignore it and pull him behind a copse of dense flowering dogwoods.
As he falls to his knees, Max pushes down my shorts and boxers and takes my already hardening shaft into his mouth with abandonment.
“Jesus, Max. Your mouth is heaven.” A hiss falls from my lips as he deep throats several times before raking his teeth lightly across the head of my dick. “Fuck, me.”
“No, that’s my line,” Max says, then he sucks the tip of my dick, which has me groaning out his name.
He then stands and drops his own shorts and steps into my arms. The kiss he bestows is sweet and languorous. I can taste myself on his tongue, which fuels my salacious need to fuck him bare, on the ground and mark him as mine.
Before I get a chance to step back, Tim and Jarrod’s voices penetrate our little lust-filled bubble.
“For fuck’s sake.” I drop my head onto Max’s shoulder, who is now shaking with laughter in the crook of my neck.
“Do you actually think they are going to give us any privacy outside the bedroom?” Max asks as he pulls away from me.
“Yes… no. Maybe we should—”
“Jesus Christ. You two are like walking boners. Can you put some clothes on before the rest of the boys see you two bumping dicks?” Jarrod demands in a huff. He eyes my junk with a gleam of appreciation, which has me turning my back to him.
Max quickly stands in front of me and glares at his friend like a sentinel. “Why don’t you turn your skinny ass around before I kick it.”
“Damn, boyfriend. Retract your claws. I’m just appreciating your man.” Jarrod turns his back to us, but not before he gives Max a look that I can’t decipher.
We quickly put our clothes back on, neither of us correcting Jarrod’s comment about me being Max’s guy. Even though everything in me is saying it’s true, I have a feeling tomorrow will pose different since we are all going our separate ways.
The rest of the afternoon, we join the group for a ride on Jarrod’s boat, attempting to water ski. I swear when it’s my turn, I swallow more lake water than I plan. Max, with his sinewy frame, has no problem getting up and enjoying the pull around the lake.
A few hours later, we all dry off in front of the firepit James graciously started. While dusk paints the sky pink, yellow and orangey-red, the smell of hickory from the pit has a way of calming my mood, especially with Max nestled in my arms.
“The steaks are done,” James announces as he pulls the meat off the grate.
“Where’s the steak sauce?” Jarrod whines, his lips in a full pout.
“Sorry, hon. I left it on the counter,” Tim confesses. “I’ll go get it.”
“No. Max and I will. Does anyone need anything? A refresher?” Jarrod asks, pulling Max out of my arms.
“I am?” Max asks in protest, looking at me with a frown of his own.
“Yes, you are,” Jarrod grates out.
Tim raises his glass. “The cabernet, please,” he says with an air kiss thrown in Jarrod’s way.
“Be right back.” Jarrod dismisses my growl and loops an arm around Max’s.
Max looks at me for help, but now I’m thinking a little separation would be good for us.
About ten minutes pass when I realize they’re taking a little longer than I like. I’m sure Jarrod’s giving Max an earful, so I decide to go up to save my man.
As I near the open slider door, the word cancer out of Jarrod’s mouth stalls my momentum. Then I hear Max arguing that he doesn’t want to tell me about his diagnosis.
Cancer? That word is a knife to the heart. I quickly retreat to the side of the house before neither man sees me. The fractured argument between the friends causes pressure on my sternum. I’m having difficulty breathing.
The realization of Max’s omission about his cancer hits me like a loaded shotgun to the head. I knew he was too good to be true, and I’m stupid enough to listen with my dick rather than my head with this weekend fun.
Cancer. I can’t do this. Not again. I wait in the shadow of the house as Max and Jarrod finally head back to the rest of the group before rushing upstairs and grabbing my stuff. Once packed, I get the fuck out of there.
Tears I thought long dried up with my mother’s death begin to fall. Wiping them with the back of my hand, I drive away with my heart torn from my chest as I leave the man that may be my soulmate.
Chapter Nine
Max
It has been three weeks since I’d last seen Luke. To this day, I can’t sleep—not without thinking of why he left so abruptly without a word to any of us, especially to me. I mentally retrace the day over and over again and come to the same conclusion. I don’t know why Luke left.
I got his number through James, since Tim was reluctant to give it.
Not even Jarrod was willing to talk about Luke’s vanishing act. I have a feeling these boys know the truth but are keeping it from me. Why? And that’s the crux of it.
I make several calls and text messages, but they go unanswered. Luke’s words keep playing in my head. Four days. He did say four days only, but he gave me only three. Give it up, Frazier. You’re lucky you got those.
With another sigh, I attempt to forget Luke, at least for now and focus on what lies ahead for me. Laying in the pre-surgical room alone, a slim short-blond haired woman with blue scrubs walks in.
“Mr. Frazier? I’m Dr. Grey. I’ll be handling the surgery today. Do you have any questions before Lane comes in and preps you?” she asks while scanning through several papers in a folder.
“I… umm… no. I don’t.” Even if I did, I can’t remember any of them.
“I’m here.” A shout from the hallway has me sitting up in bed. Mom rushes into the room, red-faced and nearly hyperventilating. “I’m here.”
“Mom, what are you doing here? I thought Lee…” My words falter as she reaches for me and pulls me in for a hug I desperately want. She gives the best hugs.
“Oh, sweetheart. When Lee told me what was going on, I raced right over.” She pulls back, her blue eyes, which match mine, begin to water. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrug, trying to quell the rising tears. “With Dad’s health, I figured you have so much on your plate that it wasn’t the right time.”
“It’s never the right time where health is concerned, Max. But we’re family, and family sticks together. You won’t go through this alone.” She places a gentle hand on my cheek, wiping the runaway tears from my eyes.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I croak out, a hard lump forming in my throat.
“Me too, sweetheart. Me too.” She hugs me tight again.
“I’ll let you have a second,” Dr. Grey offers before leaving the room.
Once the doctor leaves, Mom turns to me and squeezes my hand. “Jarrod called me.” I can tell by the tone of her voice she knows what happened at the lake house.
I wince, knowing what’s coming next. And side note? Once I’m all healed up, I’m going to kick my best friend’s ass for his big mouth. “What did he say?”
“He said he’ll be here this afternoon and—”
“Just say it, Mom,” I utter dejectedly, not able to hide my frown or the tears filling to the brim.
“He told me about this Luke guy. He told me you two got along well, but then he left without telling you. Max, did you like him?”
Telling my mother the truth won’t matter, so I go for it. “Yeah, Mom. A lot actually. But apparently he didn’t like me as much.” I wipe the tears I hate shedding.
“I always say, if a person’s worthy of your love, then they’ll come back. And you are irresistible.” The warmth of her smile has me agreeing with her, but I know deep in my heart that Luke and whatever issues he has is what drove him away. It’s for the best, anyway. I need to focus on me right now.
“Ha-ha. You have to say that, because I’m your son,” I say with a chuc
kle.
A tall modelesque man strolls into the room with a gentle smile and a capped syringe. “Mr. Frazier?”
“That’s me,” I counter, wiping the remnants of tears with the back of my hand.
“I’ll be here when you wake up,” Mom promises. She leans in and kisses my forehead before letting the nurse take her place.
“I’m Lane. If you have any questions, please ask them now before I wheel you into surgery.”
Feeling a lot better, I look at my mother, who gives me a thumbs up. I let out another laugh and then face the nurse. “I’m ready.”
With that, Lane gives me a shot in my IV and as he wheels me into the operating room, the world around me goes black.
Chapter Ten
Luke
“Luke, you got a call from Tim. Again. That’s the fifth time today,” Mary, the dispatcher for our office, bitches through the phone. “I’m tired of being your secretary. You aren’t paying me enough. Why doesn’t that boy just call you on your cell?”
“Because I’ve been avoiding him,” I say truthfully. The last thing I want is Tim giving me crap for leaving the lake house. I know damn well what I did, and I’m still feeling shitty about it. Then why did you leave?
“Well don’t. My time is too precious,” she says in a snit and then hangs up.
I huff out a laugh before returning my cell in my back pocket.
I know why Tim’s calling. Jarrod has been leaving nasty messages too.
It would do jack shit talking about Max, especially today. Jarrod explained it very clearly in his message yesterday that Max is having surgery. Even though I can’t shake off the image of Max or what he might be going through right now, I have my own set of problems to worry about.
I look up into the clear blue sky, which reminds me of Max’s eyes. I growl in irritation. I fell for a man in a short amount of time, who has cancer and might be dying, which pisses me the fuck off. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat and my brothers are on my ass for being behind. I’m never behind, they are.
If Max was upfront about it, I wouldn’t be an emotional mess, but that isn’t the case. Every waking moment from the time I left that lake house, Max has been on my mind. No matter how much I try to hate him for what is happening, my feelings for Max are set in granite. Instead of being by Max’s side, here I stand in the middle of a backyard renovation thinking about a man who is having life-changing surgery.
“Lucas.” My dad wanders over from setting up several Japanese yews in one corner of the yard. “What’s up with you, boy? Where’s your head right now?”
“Nowhere. I’m here,” I say, training my eyes down to the flower bed, then to him.
“If so, then why are you digging here?” A single bushy brow raises in question.
“Isn’t…” I look around and wince. “Shit. Sorry. Wrong corner.”
“Why don’t you head out? We’re pretty much done for today,” he says more as an order than as a suggestion.
I want to argue, but the hard look on my old man’s face spells it crystal. “I’ll be back tomorrow to finish.”
He gives me a nod and turns back to finish what he was doing. For a man in his late sixties, my father is as strong as an ox, and stubborn too. Looking over at my old man, and I realize I’m a lot like him—head strong and least willing to bend. But mom—she was the glue—the strength of our family. God, I miss her. I know she would want me to move on. Not be like my dad, all pent up and hiding his pain away.
I grab my things and climb into my truck, when my cell phone rings. I stare down at the caller ID. “Fucking Tim.” Debating if I should pick up, I reluctantly slide the screen and answer. “Stop calling work. Mary is going to hire a hitman.”
“Then why aren’t you answering your cell?” Tim huffs into the phone.
“Because I’m working.” And avoiding you.
“And avoiding me too,” Tim says sharply. I hate how astute he can be. “Why are you being like this?”
“Why are you calling me?” I avoid his question with one of my own.
“I know you, Luke. I know how you feel. I can hear it in your voice. You care for Max. Why are you being so stubborn about this? Do you think your mother—”
“You have no fucking clue what my mother would say, she’s dead.” The second those words peel from my lips, I want to shove them back where they came from.
The resigned sigh from the other end of the line has me sinking back into my seat. “Luke, I’m sorry that your mother isn’t here. I loved her like she was my own mom—better even, but… seriously, I know for a fact that she wanted you to live your life to the fullest, that includes facing your fears.”
I don’t know what to say to that. Tim’s words ring true. I let my fear of losing the ones I love impede my life. Love. I shake my head. No matter how I look at it, my feelings for Max can’t be denied. Am I in love with him? I’m not quite sure, but one thing is for sure, I can’t stop thinking about the man, or how he had made me feel those three days.
Seeing clearly for the first time in weeks, I ask, “Tim, where’s Max?”
“Um…Are you going to see him?” Tim asks with exuberance.
“Well?” I demand, starting the truck and pulling out of the driveway. Silence at the other end of the line has me stepping on my breaks. “Tim?”
“Rush—What are you going to do?” His voice steeped with curiosity.
“Go say sorry.” It’s all I have to say before I hang up and call the garden center my family uses. I might not have the right words to convey how sorry I am to Max, but I hope he understands once I get there and prove how genuine my feelings are for him.
Chapter Eleven
Max
I blink awake, with a scent of flowers filling my nostrils. The aroma faintly reminds me of the walk I had with Luke on the day he left me. I try to push away those hurtful memories. The time we shared was wonderful, but now, all I feel is my broken heart. Yet, I blame this on me. I promised myself not to fall for the guy, but I did. And now, I can’t get the jerk out of my head.
Finally able to focus on the brightness of the room, I slowly take in the flower arrangements of all shapes and sizes adorning my room. I stare at Jarrod, who’s sitting in the chair next to my bed looking at a magazine like nothing’s wrong.
“Jarrod?” I croak out, my throat dry. “Water.”
He bounces out of the seat and pours me a cup of water with a straw. “It’s about damn time you woke up.” He adjusts my bed so I’m sitting up before handing me the Styrofoam cup.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, trying to sit up but pain radiates from my groin area like someone actually stabbed me. “Shit.”
“You had a hard time waking up from the anesthesia,” Jarrod explains with a small frown. “The doctor says it’s going to take a few days before that pain goes away too.”
After taking a few sips of water, I look around the room and ask, “What’s all this? Did Mom buy out the gift shop?”
Jarrod drops his eyes to the floor and begins rubbing the back of his neck. “No. It wasn’t your mother who brought these here.”
“Then who did?” I ask, not understanding why Jarrod is being evasive, which isn’t like him.
“I did,” a voice says from the doorway.
I close my eyes, afraid to look at the man who ran away from me, but I have to be the bigger man. I take a second before turning to the door, finding Luke and my mother, my brother Lee and my father right behind him.
“What are you doing here? How did you…” My words trail off, because I know the answer. Tim.
“Jarrod, Mom, Lee and I will step out to give you two some privacy,” my father insists.
“You don’t have to leave,” I say quickly, but one shake of my mother’s head tells me to hush up and listen to what Luke has to say. “Fine.”
“You get on in there. We’re going to get coffee,” Mom offers with a wink toward Luke.
“Mom, I thought you went for coffee—Ouch, that
hurt.” Dad slaps the back of Lee’s head. “What’s that for?” Lee scowls as they leave the room.
Alone with Luke, my eyes fix to my lap. As petty as it sounds, I want to go off on him for leaving me that night but looking at the effort he made with the arrangements, I have to hear him out.
“I figure you have questions,” Luke starts off with.
“You think?” I quickly bite my lower lip from arguing further. “Sorry. I actually have one.”
“Why I left?” He repeats what’s in my head.
“Yes,” I utter, afraid to look at him.
“Let me start off by saying that it wasn’t my intention to leave that night. I wanted to spend one more night with you, but after overhearing that you have cancer, something inside me snapped,” Luke says with sadness sticking to his voice. “You see, my mother…”
My heart lurch out of my chest at Luke’s admission, but he doesn’t finish. The lack of sleep is apparent from the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes. Welcome to the club.
Regret and frustration swirl in my gut as the hurt of his rejection sinks in deeper. “So you overheard that I have cancer and decided I’m not good enough to be with you?”
“No,” he hisses.
“Then what, Luke?” I bite back. He tries to take my hand, but I won’t let him.
He blows out a heavy breath. “My mom died of breast cancer a year ago to the date I met you at the lake house. Tim invited me to come, knowing I needed time away from my family. I know it shouldn’t be an excuse for leaving that way, but I’m still very raw from her death.” Tears form in his eyes, sliding down his cheeks as evidence of his pain. “She battled the fucking thing for three long years before she couldn’t do it anymore. My entire family is still in mourning.”
Luke’s heartbroken admission has my eyes watering. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a family member, especially a parent. I want to reach out and wrap him up with all the love I have, but I hold myself back until he finishes.