Ordained Irreverence
Page 22
We did not take lightly the responsibility of this somber task. After careful, assiduous consideration the First Council has decided our only viable course of action is to excise this cancer from our midst. And so today we gather, not with joy, but with sadness to condemn this man, Friar Jenkins into eternity through fire.
. . . through fire? That got my full attention. “Hey, wait, wait . . . WAIT!” I pulled harder at the rope binding my hands.
The bell rang a second time intensifying the urgency, electrifying the crowd.
Cardinal Fitzsimons rose from a throne-like chair at the center of a crudely fashioned platform. “I’m afraid the time for appeals has come and gone. At the third ringing of the bell the fire will be lit and you, Friar Jenkins, will indeed burn to death. May God save your soul.”
The crowd morphed into a mob.
“Start the fire.”
“He’s so smart—let him try re-educatin’ the devil!”
“Change us, will he?”
“Why wait for the bell?”
“To hell with his new methods!”
“Let him burn!”
“And burn those drums and guitars while you’re at it!”
Wait just a minute . . . drums and guitars? I sat up in bed. The bell rang a third time. It was my cell phone.
I yawned, “Hello?”
“Hey, good lookin’. You outta bed yet? This is a big day, and you don’t want to be late.”
Bonnie’s a morning person. If we’re gonna get married, we’ll have to dial that down a notch or two.
“Nah, I was dreaming. No, make that a nightmare.” I eased back down on my pillow. “The First Council under Cardinal Fitzsimons was burning me at the stake. You should have seen the pants this squire dude had on.”
She laughed. “Elmo, you and your dreams. You haven’t even started your new job, and you’re already worrying about it in your sleep. It’s actually quite pathetic.” She laughed even louder.
“Thanks for the sympathetic ear.” I quickly sat back up. “Hey, do you think it could be a metaphor?”
She muted her laughter, but I could feel her smirking. “What, the guy in the fussy trousers?”
“No, no, the whole dream about me being torched for introducing and promoting change.” I paused as a shiver raced up my spine. “Man, I hate it when dreams become metaphors. As a matter of fact, I’m over metaphors all together. I wish people would just say straight out what they mean and skip all the symbolic double talk.”
“Here’s what I think,” she said, her laughter now totally gone. “I think you need to get your over-analyzing fanny out of bed and into the shower, or you’re gonna be late for one of the most important days of your young life!”
I hopped out of bed. “Okay, okay. I’ll see you at church. Love ya. Bye.” I hung up the phone.
I thought I knew Bonnie St. Hiliare pretty well when I asked her to marry me, but I’d grown to believe she just might have a touch of schizophrenia. One moment she was Bonnie—my beautiful, warm, encouraging fiancée; the next moment she became my mother telling me to get out of bed or my boss showing me how to do my job. On rare occasions she even transformed into the lady DMV clerk with a mustache telling me to take a number, shut my mouth, grab a seat, and wait my turn.
But this time she was absolutely right. My new job as “assistant to the pastor” officially kicked off in about two hours. I needed to be there early, well-nourished, and ready to hit the ground running.
I still remember it like it was yesterday—the afternoon Dr. Jorgenson and Smitty Fitzsimons offered me the job.
“If you agree to join our staff, we’ll be creating a new position just for you. Your main responsibility will be to research and oversee a First Church transition strategy designed to take our church into the future. The bottom line is that either First Church starts reaching and assimilating younger folks into the life of our church, or there won’t be a First Church to worry about twenty-five years from now.”
By saying yes to the new position I took on a huge responsibility ergo the nightmares. Yet I felt God leading me to accept their offer, so if I get burned at the stake, que sera.
Oswald Chambers, who once famously said, “reach beyond your grasp,” also wrote:
Jesus says, I have come for the man who knows he has a bigger handful than he can cope with, who knows there are forces he cannot touch; I will do everything for him if he will let Me. Only let a man grant he needs it, and I will do it for him.
That’s the man I want to be, and today is that day.
As I prepared to shave, I glanced down and noticed rope burns around both my wrists. Uh oh. Stigmata alert . . .
Weird. I was taking these dreams way too seriously.
Be sure to download the rest of Some Things Never Change -Elmo Jenkins Book Two.
McMillian Moody lives quietly, in the
rolling hills of central Tennessee with
Diane and Darby the special needs dog.
McMillian Moody would love to hear from you! You can email him at: mcmillianmoody@gmail.com
Or visit his website at www.mcmillianmoody.com or www.facebook.com/mcmillianmoody
Cast of Characters
Primary Cast
Adrianne Figghie – Tom Applebee’s secretary (aka Miss Figghie)
Annette May Jorgensen – Dr. Jorgensen’s wife (aka Queen Bee) Sister of Smitty Fitzsimons, and Geraldine Fitzsimons O’Leary
Bernard Coggins – Minister of Pastoral Ministries; Horse lover.
Bob "Big Bird" Stevens – Church Administrator and Financial Director. Second residence in Cayman Islands.
Bonnie St. Hiliare – Secretary for the Singles Ministry and Elmo’s girlfriend
Dr. Auguste "Augie" De Villa (aka Dr. DV) – Elmo’s seminary advisor and arch-enemy of Rev. Fred Snooker
Dr. Horace Jorgensen – Dr. Jorgensen is the Head Pastor of First Church and an avid golfer. Husband of the “Queen Bee” Annette May Jorgensen. Brother-in-law of Smitty Fitzsimons.
Dunston Jones – Retiring custodian, expert angler, and Elmo’s office furniture supplier extraordinaire.
Eddie Hughes – Single adult regular and self-avowed ladies man. Suffers from severe foot-in-mouth affliction.
Ellington Montgomery "Elmo" Jenkins – Seminary student and intern at First Church.
Erlene Markham – Retired missionary and Altar Counseling Room Coordinator. Infamous jokester/prankster.
First Church – Historic downtown church with a large “well-heeled” congregation.
Harry Simpkins – Minister of Music, notorious for his many escapades and adventures.
Juliann Roth – Church Receptionist and former beauty queen. Rocket science novice.
Rev. Fred Snooker – Retired former Assistant Pastor and current Interim Pastor for Senior Adults. “Keeper of the Lore” for The Black Toe Enigma. Nemesis of Dr. Auguste De Villa.
Smithson "Smitty" Fitzsimons – Brother-in-law of Dr. Jorgensen and power broker at First Church. Brother of “Queen Bee” Annette May Jorgensen. Fabulously wealthy.
Thurman “Thurm” Wilson – Youth Pastor at First Church and Elmo’s best friend
Tom Applebee – Second-in-command at First Church and Elmo’s direct supervisor.
Secondary Cast
Alex Leichhardt – Sunday School Director par excellence
Alise D'Porte – Thurm Wilson’s one-time girlfriend
Bess Roper – Dr. De Villa’s student assistant and resident seminary gossip and ...
Betty Darby – The Queen Bee’s personal assistant
Bonnie Johnstone – Church Librarian and resident First Church gossip
Deacon Wiley Smith – Legendary Deacon and center of The Black Toe Enigma. Deceased (1936).
Debbie Jesper –State Scrabble champion
Dolly Ehler – Smitty Fitzsimons’s niece and Elmo’s one-time date. Shrew
Doreen McGinty – Children’s Ministry Director. The Kid Whisperer.
&nb
sp; Dr. Buster Sapp – Dr. Jorgensen’s predecessor. Former president-elect of the Women’s Missionary Union. Deceased (1969).
Emily, Beatrice, and Fanny (aka The Three Widows) – Live together, dress alike, finish each other’s sentences. Three-headed troika of warm lovin’.
Fran Bruker – Dr. Jorgensen’s secretary. Intimidator of horses.
Geneva Fitzsimons - Smitty Fitzsimons’s wife and lousy poem writer/performer.
Geraldine Fitzsimons O’Leary – Church soloist and matriarch of the Fitzsimons family. Keeper of the High C.
Hartzel "Harty" Wiley Smith – Great-great-grandson of Deacon Wiley Smith and golfing partner to Dr. Jorgensen and Smitty Fitzsimons. Low-grade gymnastic skills.
Hugo Withers – Former Minister to Senior Adults. Deceased (1999).
Jacob Phillips – Deacon, now deceased.
Jeffrey Phillips – Twin brother of Jacob Phillips.
Jeremy Cantor – Emotionally disturbed church member.
Joe Thomas – Former church custodian, fishing buddy of Deacon Wiley Smith (aka Black Joe)
Johnny Rochelle – Recreation Director and Queen Bee’s lackey.
Scotty Lichen – Middle school boy who almost falls off the top of the church building.
Justin Kryder – Young single man in hospital with heart problems.
Katie Cotese – Young single woman in church, pregnant, but not married.
Louis Estrada – Minister to Singles and Bonnie St. Hiliare’s boss.
Peg Leahy – Bonnie St. Hiliare’s roommate and Elmo’s seminary classmate.
Ramona Holloway – Harry Simpkins’s assistant. Yikes!
Ramona Muscarella – Died in hospital; recipient of Elmo’s first funeral.
Notes
1. Taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, © 1935 by Dodd Mead & Co., renewed © 1963 by the Oswald Chambers Publications Assn., Ltd. Used by permission of Discovery House Publishers, Grand Rapids MI 4950l. All rights reserved.
2. Back to You – Written by Benjamin Moody, Old Barn Trace Music Copyright © 2011 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TewdYqvtfDM
3. Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Elmo’s journey continues in:
Some Things Never Change
(Elmo Jenkins Book Two)
The Old Man and the Tea
(Elmo Jenkins Book Three)
A Tale of Two Elmos
(Elmo Jenkins Book Four)
More novels from OBT Bookz
From Author Diane Moody
Of Windmills and War
The Runaway Pastor’s Wife
The Demise
Blue Christmas
Blue Like Elvis
Confessions of a Prayer Slacker
Tea with Emma
The Teacup Novellas (Book One)
Strike the Match
The Teacup Novellas (Book Two)
Home to Walnut Creek
The Teacup Novellas (Book Three)
At Legend’s End
The Teacup Novellas (Book Four)
The Christmas Peril
The Teacup Novellas (Book Five)
The Teacup Novellas
The Collection
(All 5 novellas in one volume)