“We were going to bring it to the table at church this week,” Merc explained in a calm voice as if he were talking someone off the ledge.
“You were too late,” Lucy hissed out at him. She turned back to me as I tried to return the comfort she had bestowed on me earlier. I ran my hand up and down Lucy’s arm, gently stroking there to offer some sense of calm for her. Not that it would mean much. Toby was my love. He was Lucy’s son. Her heart ached the same as mine, even if we had different kinds of loves for him.
“I’m sorry,” Lucy apologized needlessly.
“I think I have everything,” the detective stated before the doctor butted in. I hadn’t even noticed him enter the room again.
“We’re going to move you all to a room of your own.” He turned to Lucy and addressed her instead of the rest of the crowd still in my room. “They got it ready for you guys earlier.”
“We’re not leaving her,” she told him.
“You don’t have to. We’re going to wheel Ms. Tierny down there too.”
“What about Toby?” Double-D asked. Something didn’t seem right about me being moved to another room.
“We’ll check on him once we get all of you moved,” is what the doctor told him. No one spoke the entire way there. It was almost as if everyone was afraid to take a breath. I was afraid to do anything at all. I just sat stunned until they tucked us all in a room and the doctor made excuses that he’d be right back. Still, it didn’t stop the words from floating past my foggy state once he returned. The worst three words a person could ever say to people waiting to hear news about a loved one.
“I’m so sorry.” I knew he spoke more after that. He was probably explaining all the ways they had tried to save Toby, and all the ways they had failed him. My heart couldn’t possibly continue beating now, could it? It wasn’t fair that my heart still beat while both of theirs stood still now. Our baby. My man. My loves. Both gone. Yet I felt it. That retched, miserable organ in my chest still beat as if it had a right to go on. I willed it to stop. I begged, pleaded, and prayed that the damn thing would just cease to work. I glanced around the room, mostly unseeing, hoping someone there would look up from their grief and put me out of my god damn misery. Why would they leave me here like this? Why did this happen?
I don’t know if I passed out or just tuned out everything around me. I was lost in a blanket of misery for who knew how long. All I knew was that I came to this world in an empty room with sandpapery eyes and a dry mouth. I pressed the nurse’s call button when I was mid-panic at having been left alone with the news that I was still trying to process.
“Hi honey, what can I do for you?” She was a youthful, pretty little thing that probably made sunshine envious on a good day. I almost wanted to smile back at my nurse until I remembered why I’d pushed the damn button to call her.
“Where is everyone?” The scratch in my voice gave away my other problem and she quickly moved to pour some ice water from a pitcher into a hospital green cup for me.
“Drink this, slowly.” I sipped and watched the woman worry her bottom lip with her teeth. “They all left some time ago. We had to sedate you after the news.”
“After the news,” I repeated on a whisper before pushing my cup away. I had only taken a couple sips and suddenly I didn’t think I could stomach more.
“Is there someone I can call for you?” The nurse glanced around worriedly at the large room I’d been placed in when some well-meaning staff member had decided I would have far too many visitors here for a normal size hospital room. Too bad they didn’t realize that once the family received news of the man they’d lost, I would be forgotten and left behind. Just as I had been left behind by him. By our baby.
“Aw, sweetie, please, there has to be someone I can call?” The nurse asked me with a hint of devastation in her own voice. “I know Lucy would still be here if she wasn’t so gone about her boy,” she tacked on.
“Permanent Marks Tattoo Studio. Call, it doesn’t matter who you speak with. Just tell them Gretchen is in the hospital and give them the information, please.”
“I will. Are you going to be okay while I go do that?” I only nodded, just barely, the gesture seeming like more than a person should be capable of after losing their whole entire world. I wished my sister was around. Our parents had taken off to live their lives post-children a few years back. We got the occasional postcard or email update from them, but in some weird way, it’s like they forgot we were actually their children and not just a couple of girls they once met and remember to update about their lives periodically. Beth, my sister, would know just what to say though. If she hadn’t decided to head out on the road with a traveling wildlife photographer, learning the ins and outs of that end of her business. Normally, she photographed people or scenery. I supposed wildlife were found in nature where lots of beautiful scenery happened, but I needed her. I had no clue where my cell phone was. It had been in my pocket when we were riding to Toby’s family’s house. When I woke up in the emergency room, I didn’t have it or my clothing any longer. Just the stupid hospital gown they had put on me.
My body ached and burned in spots with every movement made. It was nothing compared to the devastation I felt inside though. I had just moved the hospital gown back off of my thigh to look at the enormous bandage that covered the whole side. I knew I must have had pretty bad road rash. I had rolled when I was thrown free, but I’d also slid too, and I had been wearing a thin set of pants that stretched, because my ass felt too big for my favorite jeans. There was a knock on the door, but it opened immediately. The minute I saw Kane, Zeke, and then Sully pop their heads inside, the tears started to flow, and the sobbing started.
“Christ,” Zeke hissed and looked away immediately as he swiped at his eyes.
“G?” Kane whispered into the room as his voice broke on that one simple syllable.
“Baby-cakes,” Sully called to me as he approached slowly, his careful eyes taking in everything there was to see, including the fact that my gown was still pulled up too far on my thighs. He reached up and gently tugged the material back down over the bandage. “Oh sweet girl, what the hell happened here?”
“S-s-sheee killed them,” I managed between sobs that were hurting me just as much in the physical sense as the pain they embodied from my insides.
“Whoa, what?”
“No!” Kane came rushing forward finally, tears staining his cheeks at the sight of me. “Tell me this wasn’t that woman.” I nodded my head up and down only to watch Kane’s face crumble right there before me as he sought Zeke out. “Fuuuucck!” He roared into the room, the anger echoing off the sterile walls as if to taunt me. “Damn it, G. We had a plan to deal with her. Today, we were going to run her ass out of fucking town today, but then we couldn’t find her.”
Zeke moved up and put a hand on Kane’s shoulder before he shook his head at him. I didn’t need to know what they had planned, only that they had meant to protect me and now were obviously swimming in guilt for being too late.
“Sweetheart, you said she killed them,” Sully’s voice was gentle as he spoke. “What did you mean by that?”
“T-t-toby, she killed him,” I managed to get out before my hands reached down for my belly that was so full of promise just this morning. Now it was empty. Our baby was gone. My heart had gone with the both of them. “She took my baby,” I whispered. “My loves.”
“Aw fuck,” Kane hissed out before he slipped past Zeke and dropped to his knees beside my bed. He wrapped his arms around me, gently, and held me while I cried for everything I’d lost. I let him hold me as I fell apart, wishing those arms belonged to a man who could never hold me again. I swore, for just one moment as both Sully and Zeke moved in to hold me too that I could feel Toby with me. I felt his caress on my cheek, just the way he used to do whenever we parted. He would say, “I’m taking a piece of you with me until I see you again.”
It was my heart. He took it with him and even the three men that were r
eally there, holding me together as I fell apart, couldn’t give that back to me. It was just as gone as my loves.
Chapter 7
Beautiful Misery
Kane
The call from the hospital had me absolutely stunned. I couldn’t have heard correctly, but the nurse had repeated the information several times over for me.
“Hey, man, what’s going on? You look like you just saw a ghost.”
“Sully, go get Zeke.”
“He’s with a client right now. Seriously, what’s up? You’re scaring me.”
“Tell him to finish up. We have to get to the hospital.”
“The hospital?” Sully glanced around as he took stock of who was there and who wasn’t. “Ever?” He asked.
“Gretchen,” I answered. I didn’t know much else except that she was there, and she was all alone. At first, anger flared through me, wondering where the hell her man was. He was supposed to be such a fucking wonderful person, and yet she was lying in a hospital bed and the nurse had called us at G’s request. Sully took off running for Zeke as I started closing up shop. The nurse told us we didn’t need to rush, but that Gretchen needed us as soon as possible. The shop had to be closed up, clients booted out. There wasn’t anyone here to reschedule appointments, so I quickly dashed out a sign to put in the window.
I didn’t remember the ride to the hospital, the mad run through the halls, the quiet as the grave ride in the elevator with my two best friends in the world. No one spoke. Zeke’s eyes met mine just before the elevator door opened to drop us onto her floor and I saw the same worry there that I had been struggling with. This couldn’t have been because of the stalker bitch, right?
“Can I help you,” a tiny little slip of a nurse asked us. Her powder blue scrubs had little hearts with smiley faces all over them.
“Gretchen Teirny,” Zeke asked.
“Oh, I spoke to you earlier,” she stated.
“That was me. Where is she?”
“She’s right down the hall. Third door on the left.”
“How is she?” It was Sully who asked.
“She’s scared, alone, in pain, and heartbroken.”
Zeke and I glanced at each other, but didn’t wait for an explanation before we moved down the hall, counting doors, and then we knocked on the third one before I barreled in ahead of the others, Zeke followed hot on my heels, and then Sully.
“Christ,” Zeke managed to get out as he took her in.
“G?” I couldn’t get anything else out. She looked so broken and small lying there in that bed. There was obvious bruising on her face, arms, and fucking hell, her hospital gown was pulled up beyond what was decent. I could see she was wearing some weird hospital style panty-thing that damn near rivaled the look of a diaper. Then there was the huge bandage that took up most of that thigh. My chest drew tight as I found it difficult to breathe past my initial reaction.
“Baby-cakes!” Sully moved to her, reaching out and gently giving her back her modesty by covering her legs with the gown. I don’t even think she realized everything we had been able to see though, because the moment we stepped in the room she started to fall apart, and this probably wasn’t the first time judging by the look of her. “Oh, sweet girl, what the hell happened here?” Sully’s question brought me back to the question at hand. What the hell had happened?
“S-s-sheee killed them.”
“Whoa, what?” Sully questioned as my worries were seemingly confirmed.
“No!” I felt the warmth of tears as they trailed down my cheeks. This beautiful woman we all relied on, our friend, was there before us, broken in more ways than just the physical as she stuttered those words out. I needed more though. I couldn’t just guess what happened. “Tell me this wasn’t that woman!” Her head tipped up and down briefly. It had been her. Seneca fucking Davis had gotten to her before we were able to take care of that cunt. I glanced at Zeke before my fury got the best of me. “Fuuuucck!” I wanted to kill the cunt who did this, and I couldn’t right now. I needed to reel that shit in for Gretchen’s sake right now. I took a deep breath and then looked at her, needing her to know that they were trying to fix it for her before it ended up at this point. “Damn it, G. We had a plan to deal with her. Today, we were going to run her ass out of fucking town today, but then we couldn’t find her.”
Zeke was there, hand on my shoulder, offering a little solidarity, or maybe he needed to feel grounded and removed from his guilt too. I didn’t know.
“Sweetheart, you said she killed them,” Sully started to say before continuing. “What did you mean by that?”
“T-t-toby, she killed him.” I watched as her hands moved to cover her belly, and my heart sank. No. God, please, no. Don’t let that mean… “She took my baby, my loves.”
“Aw fuck!” The words exploded from me before I could stop them. I moved to her side, near the head of her bed and dropped to my knees there so my eyes were level with hers. Those beautiful eyes of hers that once sparkled with life like precious jewels were now dim and swimming in fresh tears. There was nothing I could do to make her loss better now. Instead, I gave her what I thought she needed. I carefully draped my body over part of hers, wrapping an arm around her upper torso near her shoulders. I held on to her, offered the warmth from my body, the comfort from my embrace, and whatever the hell was in my heart to give because it was incredibly obvious that she lost her own that day. Zeke and Sully piled in on the other side of her, each taking a place where they could hold on to her without causing more harm. We held her like that until the sobs subsided and she fell off to sleep. I wish I could say it was restful for her, but that would have been a lie.
“If I could rip the heart from my chest and give it to her, I would,” I said, not realizing my words had been uttered out loud.
“I know you would,” Zeke replied as Sully just watched us.
“What don’t I know?”
We explained what had been going on with the bitch who was stalking Toby and then Zeke stood. “You two stay with her. I’m going to the CPD to find out what the fuck happened.”
“Zeke?”
“Yeah?” He glanced back over his shoulder at me, blocking the doorway with his overlarge frame as he did so.
“Find out if they have that bitch and let me know.”
He nodded and took off. Sully stood and walked toward the door, tipping his head for me to follow. He lowered his voice to a whisper as he spoke. “I’m going to find Ever, and let her know we have her back too, but that G doesn’t have anyone else. I’ll be back.”
Part of me was angered by the fact that none of Toby’s family was here with her. Then again, they were all in their own hell right now, drowning in grief. Still, would it have killed one of them to stay with her instead of leaving her alone the way we’d found her?
For the next two days, until she could be released from the hospital, and then the week following in her apartment above the tattoo studio I stayed with Gretchen. When I couldn’t be there, either Sully or Zeke took over. We watched over her, tried taking her mind off of things, and tried our damnedest to get her to go to Toby’s funeral. She couldn’t do it. Gretchen was angry with his family. All of them. None of them had bothered reaching out to her at first. When she would talk, she told us briefly about what happened in the hospital when the family was with her prior to the news of Toby’s death. Then she would break down and be unable to deal with shit all over again.
I knew it wasn’t fair to the man, since he was dead, but not a day went by where I wish I hadn’t pulled my head out of my ass sooner and cockblocked that fucker from ever getting with Gretchen. If I had, his club’s taint would have never touched her beautiful heart. Now, all that was left of her was this tragically broken soul that I couldn’t fathom how we’d manage to get put back together.
“Give her time, man,” Zeke told me after two weeks of leaving her apartment to get fresh air and food, only to explode with the pent-up emotions I couldn’t show her. I was angry
on her behalf, pissed at myself because we failed her too, and my arms ached to hold her again, but she wouldn’t allow it after she left the hospital.
“I can’t even hug her.” It was killing me inside to know that when I tried to hug her before I left, she brushed me off with a mumbled, “You’re not him”.
“It’s not you, Kane. You have to know that. She’s upset that it can’t be him. It’s understandable. Frustrating as fuck, because she’s even turning me and Sully away when we try to so much as ruffle her hair or bump her shoulder.
“She’s not dead! She didn’t fucking die with him! We need to wake her up instead of letting this be okay!” I didn’t mean to shout out my frustrations, but that’s exactly what happened.
Zeke didn’t say a word, instead he came over to me threw his arms around my shoulders and hugged this shit out of me. “I feel your frustration, but we’re going to give her this for now. When it’s time to push, we’ll push. I promise.” He slapped my back twice and then let go. “Get something to eat, and a fucking shower while you’re at it. Honestly? How can you expect the woman to want a hug from you when your stench is that fucking strong?”
I lifted an arm and sniffed toward my pits. He wasn’t wrong. I hadn’t been home in two days and showering at Gretchen’s apartment wasn’t an option with the way she was behaving. Toby’s shampoo and soap was still in her bathroom and there was no fucking way any of us were stepping foot in there. She probably would have thrown us out for good.
“Fine. I’ll be back,” I glanced down at my cell trying to gauge how long I should take before Zeke answered for me.
“You’ll be back tomorrow. In the shop. We’re going to give her some space tonight, because she needs it.” I started to argue with Zeke, but he cut me off again. “No. I’ll be sleeping in the lounge, just in case. She can’t move on if we’re always up in her space. This has to happen and you know it.”
I did know it. That didn’t mean I liked it.
A Twist of Fate Page 9