by Ember Flint
There’s a swirl of emotions running through me and it’s hard to define each of them.
I feel weird, but also great, strangely aware of something and at the same time confused and blind to it.
I cannot explain how I feel. It’s a stirring I can’t name, somewhat familiar and somewhat new. It’s like I’m seeing her for the first time and also like I’ve seen her all the time, but didn’t know I did.
Chapter 7
EVELYN
As I sing lightly about teasing and uneasying someone, I feel like the joke’s on me, because I’m the one who’s feeling rattled and edgy all of a sudden under the intense stare of my best friend.
I can barely mutter the last verse as he stands up and stalks toward the piano.
I’m getting a vibe from him that I don’t understand and it makes me feel weird. It’s like I can see barely restrained tension coming off his large, imposing frame in waves echoing around us.
I feel myself blushing and I don’t know what’s causing it. “What?” I ask.
I watch as he visibly gulps, his icy blue eyes studying me intently, like he’s looking for something.
“It was… it was lovely, Eve… thank you,” he rasps out.
I’ve never heard his voice so husky before.
I feel a chill rain down my spine and it makes me even more confused.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I shrug. “What? Nothing… what do you mean?”
He heaves a great sigh and I can see whatever emotion was filling his eyes morph into concern for me.
He walks around the grand piano and comes to sit near me on the bench.
I instinctively put some space between us, but then I’m disappointed I moved away.
He leans toward me. “Why can’t you sleep? Is it for what that bitch Gillian said?”
Oh… that’s what he meant!
I thought— what? I thought what?
I shake my head. “No… I mean not exactly. My mother’s definitely in my thoughts today, but that’s not the only reason why I had to get out of bed. I got a call from Daniel just after I went into my room.”
Seth sits up straight again. “And what did he want?” he barks out, making me jump a little, his eyes turning cold and harsh.
I look at him in confusion and he blinks, his expression softening again.
I sigh, looking away, embarrassed; my eyes on the snow twirling in the darkness beyond the wide expanse of glass. Usually there’s nothing I won’t share with Seth, but I feel like I cannot talk about this with him.
“Eve?” he coaxes gently, his hand reaching in my lap for one of my own.
I huff, looking into his face again. “He… well, he canceled on me… for tomorrow’s party, after he… propositioned me.”
Seth’s eyebrows rise up his forehead. “What?” he asks through clenched teeth, his eyes flashing, his fingers curling around my hand protectively.
“He invited me to come over tonight for… a ‘check-up between doctors’ he said…”
“What a fucking lame asshole,” Seth mutters.
“When I told him it was not happening, he started to push and… and I told him I didn’t even know him for fuck’s sake and that I’m not one to… that I like taking things slow. He said that… I could not afford to take things slow with a man like him.”
“And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Seth stands up and starts to pace back and forth.
“That’s exactly what I asked him,” I whisper, looking away again. God, this is so embarrassing. I tug at my PJs’ top to lower it more over my bare thighs.
Seth stops pacing and comes to stand in front of me. “And what did he say?”
I stand up as well, putting the piano between us again.
“That I should have been grateful that he would deign himself to consider me since I’m this impudent all the time and —I look down at myself, gesturing with my hands over my body— and this fat and… and… since I only have money going on for me.”
Seth walks over the piano and pulls me into a tight, powerful hug and I inhale his familiar scent and close my eyes as it washes over me in a comforting wave.
“He is a fucking imbecile, Eve. You’re not impudent. You’re sassy and fun and… and… you’re certainly not fat: you’re smoking.”
I push away from him and take a step back. “Seth, you only tell me this kind of things because you have to: you’re my best friend…”
Seth puts both of his big hands over my shoulders and makes me look at him. “I have to tell you this kind of things because I’m a man and I have eyes.”
I shake my head no.
I see one of his eyebrows arch as he tilts his head to the side. “You said I was hot earlier today in the car, were you lying to me because you’re my best friend?” he asks and I know he has me there.
I roll my eyes. “Of course not, that was my honest opinion as a woman.”
He grins. “So as a woman, your honest opinion of me is that I’m hot and yet as a man, my honest opinion of you cannot be that you’re smoking? You have to see the flaw in that logic…”
I feel myself redden again and I punch his arm, putting distance between us one more time, a nervous giggle escaping my lips.
Seth turns serious again. “Any man who would say such things to a woman is not worthy of your attention, Eve. He’s just a disappointed dick venting a little, nothing more. He doesn’t deserve you and he certainly doesn’t deserve to have you thinking about him this late at night.”
I smile at him. “You’re right…”
He nods, an airless chuckle rising from his chest.
“And this means we’re both dateless for tomorrow. Bad luck scores again.”
I huff, dropping on the corner of the long sectional sofa running along the back wall of the room, my legs crossed under me.
For a minute I just stare outside the full-length windows, my eyes tracing the extra-glow the white flakes are waiving over the skyline.
Am I cursed or something?
Are there no more single men available in New York that happen to be nice guys too?
Am I like the last unlucky guest that arrives at a buffet when the waiters are starting to take off the dishes from the table?
Why the constant bad luck in love?
I sigh, there’s no point in asking why.
It’s just my life. And Seth’s life too it seems, but I refuse to wallow in misery: it’s not my style.
If serendipity has decided to desert us, maybe we can force its hand ourselves.
Maybe it’s time to stop waiting around, maybe it’s time to just try.
Seth moves away from the window and comes to sit close to me. “What has you thinking so hard?” he asks, flicking my nose.
I feel a smile slowly stretch my lips.
I grasp his hand and pull it from my face, keeping it in mine. “I was thinking about love and luck and how we deal with it and I think I have an idea for tomorrow’s party.”
Seth slides back on the sofa, his long legs extended, his face hidden in his hands as he yawns. “Not another of your ideas, Eve…”
I turn to the side and lean over him to take his hands off his face. “No seriously, listen to me: no matter what Gillian did, there’s no way your mom could rescind her invitation now. As it is, you’ll probably end up fending her off for the entire night and meanwhile I’ll be spending my evening trying to escape her brother’s clutches. I refuse to just stand there and let them ruin our New Year's Eve.”
“And what do you propose we do about it?” he asks, smiling at me.
“I think we should try to find someone special directly at the party.”
Seth laughs. “What? You mean like a blind date or something?”
I smile and nod. “Sort of, it should be someone we don’t know as more than a passing acquaintance, a complete stranger would actually be even better.”
He shakes hi
s head, chuckling. “So we hmm… grab onto some stranger and then what?”
I huff in exasperation. “Not just some stranger, Seth. It has to be someone you actually like, you know… someone who makes you feel things.”
I see his lips twitch, a glint in his eyes. “You mean someone I’d fuck.”
I punch him on his arm. “Crude much! But yeah, alright, fine: someone you are attracted to, but also… someone you see yourself spending time with.”
Seth shakes with silent laughter. “And I’m supposed to know all of it from what? A single look? A few minutes of meaningless conversation?”
I roll my eyes. “You will just know, Seth. Trust me. Plus, it’s not like I’m talking true love here. I think that’s where we were going wrong about things. This person doesn’t necessarily have to be someone you’d marry, just someone you would enjoying kissing at the stroke of midnight to ring in the New Year, but you have to see yourself at least dating this person, otherwise it will be just pointless.”
He nods, but he is laughing as he leans forward, his hands clasped between his outstretched legs. “Let me get this straight: I’m supposed to find someone at this party that I could see myself having a relationship with, not a fling, a serious relationship?”
I smile up at him, uncrossing my legs and gathering them in front of me. “Yeah…”
“And I have to make sure I kiss this specimen of perfection at the stroke of midnight?”
“Mmm, mmm,” I rest my chin on my knees.
“Okay. And why would I do that for?”
I groan. “Because, my darling friend, we need to shake off this bad luck of ours. We kiss someone nice at the stroke of midnight so as not to jinx the New Year with another strand of doomed relationships. What do you say?”
Seth laughs. “First, I don’t believe in this stuff and second, even if I did, I probably would end up alone at midnight even if I tried to find someone.”
I bite my lower lip. “Alright, then we should make a pact and there should be rules also.”
“What kind of rules?”
“Well, we should not use each other as an emotional blanket or as a barrier between us and the other guests for the entirety of the party and this means we won’t be hanging out together at all. We won’t even say hi when we arrive, okay?”
He shrugs, but I can see his eyes darken a bit. “What exactly does this pact of yours imply?”
I grin up at him. “We should give each other until ten minutes to midnight to find someone and then we should bring the person we found near the piano. If let’s say you approach the piano and see I’m standing close to it alone or vice versa I walk up and see you there looking miserable and grumpy, we’ll forfeit the special person we found.”
Oh my God, what am I saying?
Seth laughs. “But then won’t we both be jinxed for the whole year?”
I gulp. “No, I… I thought of a loophole.”
Seth turns toward me. “Did you know? And what loophole is that?”
I nod and take a calming breath, trying to stop the shaking in my hands. I don’t know why I feel so nervous for what I’m about to say and I don’t know why the fuck I’m saying these things in the first place.
Oh well…
“If both of us or even just one of us is alone, then we will kiss,” I blurt out, feeling my face going up in flames.
I see his eyes grow round. “What?”
I grin. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of kissing me?” I tease.
“No, that’s not—,” he flounders, no longer meeting my eyes.
I take a shaky breath and try to muster up all of my cheek. “I dare you, Seth. I dare you to kiss me.”
For a long moment Seth says absolutely nothing and just sits there, looking utterly astonished, then he starts to stare at me in a way that makes me feel bothered and curious at the same time and by this point I’m blushing so hotly even my ears must be red.
I can’t believe what just came out of my mouth!
That’s why one should not have important conversations on little sleep and an empty stomach…
Can I pretend I was joking?
Why, why did I have to say such an idiotic thing to him?!
Just when I start to accept the fact that I really put my foot in it this time, I see a full smile spread over his lips, dimples and all.
“Deal. Crazy as it might sound, I’m on board,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse.
He extends his hand toward me. I offer him my own and he encases it in his much bigger one, holding onto my fingers for a moment before we shake on it.
I smile and pull back when I see he’s still gazing at me unblinkingly.
“There could be a difficulty, though,” he says, leaning forward, his voice so low I barely hear him.
“What difficulty?” I ask, meeting his unrelenting look.
“Well, you’re saying that ending New Year's Eve alone could unleash another wave of bad luck for us and that a kiss could change that, right?”
I nod, puzzled.
“Let’s just say I believe in this kind of stuff —which I don’t— but let’s just pretend for a minute, okay? What would happen then if we hesitated and missed the moment? Wouldn’t that jinx us even more?”
I frown. “Why would we hesitate?”
He shrugs. “We’ve known each other all of our lives: we could feel shy, it could be awkward, could it not?”
I don’t know where he’s going with this. “So?”
“So I think if we kiss it should be nice, Eve. I think in order to avoid hesitation and awkwardness we should rehearse.”
I gulp down air. “Rehearse?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
Seth sits closer to me, his arms going around my waist. “Yeah, we should rehearse right now,” he breathes out, his mouth inching toward mine and before I know what hit me, his lips are coming down on my own in a soft, gentle, warm caress that makes my heartbeat soar.
While our lips barely touch, we keep our eyes open, staring into each other’s gaze, then his arms tighten around me and my hands start to climb over his back and to his shoulders until I’m winding my arms around his neck.
What started tender, turns into a white-hot explosion of insistent passion as our lips forcefully clash together, our tongues chasing each other.
And there it is, the spark I’ve searched forever.
My eyes close and I push myself firmly into his hard, big body. Everything I thought I knew about me, everything I thought I knew about us, slipping away.
The room, the snow falling, the wind howling outside, the entire world around us is laying at our feet forgotten, unimportant and there’s just us.
We are the only thing that matters and in the blink of an eye he’s what he is always been to me and yet so much more.
Being in his arms in this way feels so wonderful, it’s perfect and what we’re sharing is so very beautiful to me, but also so very frightening and confusing.
I feel myself starting to panic and for a moment a thousand contrasting emotions start to snow down on me and I feel I won’t ever be able to breathe again if I don’t pull away now.
It’s like I know I could lose myself in this, I could lose myself utterly and completely and I would go willingly, but my own heart and soul wouldn’t be the only things I’ll be losing here, I would be risking so much more: I feel like I could lose him for this and that I couldn’t survive.
His hands start to rise from my waist to my sides, his fingers slowly brushing just under the swell of my breasts; it’s a simple touch and yet it seems like all of a sudden his barest stroke can drive me totally insane and I can feel fire blazing in my blood.
I hear him groan on my lips and feel the sound down to my very core. The unmistakable weight of his arousal is starting to grow harder between us as he leans down on me, pressing my body into the sofa and I push him off of me, jumping up in the process.
“Evelyn,” h
e stands up as well and my eyes with a will of their own fall on the front of his sweats, the grey fabric tenting over his huge erection. I feel myself flush in desire all over.
“I’m sorry,” I feel my eyes filling with tears.
He shakes his head no and I can see his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down in his throat as he breathes in and out, his muscular chest rising and falling.
“Why are you sorry?”
He starts to reach for my hand, but I pull back, looking away; my entire body is shaking uncontrollably: I’ve never felt something of this magnitude, this intensity, with someone before, let alone for just a kiss.
A kiss shouldn’t make you this wet, especially not a kiss shared in jest with your best friend in the whole world. The friend I could lose if I make a wrong move.
That was no mere kiss and I’m so scared.
The only thing I want to do is run back into his arms, hug him tight and bask in the comfort I always feel in his embrace, but I don’t think it would feel the same if I did hug him now and that scares me even more.
“Evelyn?”
“No…”
“Eve, listen, I… we should talk,” he says, he sounds like he has ran a mile right now.
I look away and back to his face.
“I… I’m tired, I… it’s late, I… we should go to bed,” I mumble stupidly and leave the room before he can do more than say my name again; his eyes displaying the same want and confusion that I’m sure is visible in my own.
Chapter 8
SETH
I don’t know for how long I’ve been standing here, staring in her wake, stunned at the sensations running through my aroused body.
I was already feeling excitement pumping into my veins as she was softly singing to me and I was so confused, it took my mind a little to follow my body’s lead and recognize what exactly I was experiencing.
I pushed everything away as soon as I realized how upset she was and when I asked her what was wrong and she told me what that spineless dipshit told her, everything but my instinct to comfort her was forgotten and then she started with the crazy plan of kissing at midnight to celebrate the New Year and push away the bad luck.