by Katy Kaylee
Jordan teetered back and forth on his feet, one hand in his pocket. “I suppose. So, what were you two geniuses talking about over here.”
Amber choked on her punch and wiped her mouth. “Sorry. It went down the wrong pipe. We were just talking about the old people in the room.”
Amber glanced over at Logan, who gave her a wink. If he couldn’t be with her in public, he would at least let her know she was constantly on his mind.
14
Amber
Pink buds from the surrounding trees fluttered wildly back and forth. There was a haze in the air, and Amber stood in the center of the street. She held a notebook in her hand with Yale written across the front of it. In front of her Logan stood, holding her hand tightly and staring at her with his brilliant green eyes. Slowly, the scene began to shift and, like a time warp, he started to recede backward. She gripped tightly to his hand, dropping her folder to the ground, but his fingers slipped from hers. With an outstretched arm, he faded further and further back into the fog until she could no longer see him.
Amber woke up with a gasp, sitting straight up in the bed. She put her hand to her chest, feeling a sharp pain in her heart. It had been a dream, one that she knew was speaking to her. She didn’t think there was any way she could leave Logan and move to the other side of the country. She had just grown too attached to him, and there was something telling her she needed to stay by his side.
She caught her breath and pulled the covers back, turning and putting her feet on the cool wood floors. She shook her head and groaned, finding that her decision was crazy, but heartfelt. She got out of bed and changed her clothes, carefully pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She made her way downstairs where everyone was gathering toast and bagels and enjoying their morning coffee.
Amber walked over to the coffee maker where her mother was standing and kissed her on the cheek. “Morning, Mom.”
She turned and smiled at first, but her smile quickly faded. “Amber, you look peaked. Are you feeling alright?”
Amber nodded. “Just a lot on my mind.”
Her mother looked at her with concern. “Anything I can do to help?”
Amber thought about it for a second, and then turned to her. “Actually, yes. I wanted to ask you something. Something I’ve been thinking about for a little while now.”
Her mother put down her mug. “Of course, honey. What is it?”
Amber swallowed hard. “Well, I wanted to know, and this isn’t a firm decision yet, but how you would feel if I withdrew from Yale and decided to go to school closer to here? It’s something that has been weighing heavy on my mind, and I had a dream about it last night. We are getting closer and closer to testing deadlines, and I think it’s something that I should be making a choice on soon. Of course, I wanted your opinion on the matter.”
Her mother looked confused. “But I thought this was what you always wanted.”
Amber shrugged, seeing Logan’s head shoot up from behind her mom. She diverted her eyes, though, not wanting anyone to make the connection or draw attention to the two of them. “I thought it was, but now that I’m out of school things started to change, I guess.”
Amber’s father walked over and kissed his wife on the cheek. “What’s this?”
Lisa, slightly thrown off looked at her husband as he poured her coffee. “Amber is thinking about withdrawing from Yale and going to school closer to here. She wanted to know how I felt about it.”
Amber watched her father’s face straighten. He slammed the coffee pot down and turned to her. “I don’t understand. This has been a longstanding dream for you. You worked your ass off to get into there, and it is a one-way ticket to a successful future. If you do this, you are going to throw your whole life away. It’s one thing to want to study history, I can swallow that, but I can’t swallow the idea of you just tossing your future into the trash and walking away like it is no big deal. You are young, too young to make a decision on a whim like this. You can’t change like the wind in life, and I won’t allow you to start doing it now.”
Amber looked at her mother as her father stomped over to the plate of food on the counter for him. She gave Amber a comforting look and squeezed her arm. “I think it should be discussed more but, in the end, if that is what you decide, I will support you.”
Matt slammed a piece of toast down and walked out of the kitchen. Amber’s mother grimaced and turned from them, walking after him. Jordan got up from the table and put his dishes in the sink. “Wow, sis. You have the world at your fingertips and you want to throw it away without any explanation. I mean, I’m always on your side, but I can’t say I’m happy with you doing something that will ruin your chances at a bright future.”
Amber opened her mouth, but then closed it again, realizing she really didn’t have anything constructive to say back. She watched as he grabbed a banana and strode from the room, not saying another word. Amber turned and fixed her coffee, the scene not yet settling into her head. All she could hear was her father’s words over and over again in her head. It was damaging to her psyche, to say the least, and she hated being treated like a child. She had made every right decision growing up. She never got in trouble, she always worked hard, and rarely ever needed guidance. Yet when it came down to her own life, her family couldn’t stand behind her and understand that she wouldn’t make that choice lightly. At least, she didn’t think she was.
She put her coffee down on the counter and wrung her shaking hands together. Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. She hadn’t expected the reaction she had gotten from any of them, especially her father. She had never been chastised like that by them, and it wasn’t even something that had run through her mind when she went down for breakfast. They had always discussed things calmly, but her father had flown off the handle the same way that he did when Jordan did something stupid. The last thing she wanted was to upset her father like that, but she knew she had to stand up for what she wanted.
Amber sniffled and looked up as Logan walked over and handed her a tissue. She turned and sighed, blotting at her eyes. Logan gave her a minute to compose herself, but just having him near her made her feel so much better.
She dried the tears and tossed the tissue in the trash. Logan rubbed her arm and looked at her with caring. “Are you seriously thinking about not going to Yale? About going to one of the colleges out here?”
Amber swallowed hard and nodded her head. “It’s been on my mind for a while. I’ve teetered back and forth with it and I always come back to the same conclusion.”
Logan just stared at her. “By a while, how long are we talking?”
Amber looked down at her hands. “Since you and I started seeing each other. I just don’t think that I can leave you behind and go all the way to the other side of the country. I know it sounds crazy, and like something a love-sick puppy would do, but there’s a connection there that I can’t explain. My whole life has been segmented, planned out at every step for something that I consumed myself with. I never thought about anything else in life. I never thought about relationships, hobbies, or life outside of one alma mater. I refused to look at the rest of the world because I was afraid it would deter me from my goals. But then there was you, and you showed me there is so much more to life than where I go to school. Despite what my father thinks, I will not ruin my whole life because I choose a non-Ivy League education. I am a smart girl and I will excel anywhere I go.”
Amber watched as Logan stood, gathering his words. “For as long as I have known you and your family, the one thing that you have always been certain about was the fact that you wanted to go to Yale. You made your father take you to tour the school when you were eleven years old. I haven’t been that sure about anything in my life, not even the kind of toothpaste I like to use. It has been a lifelong dream for you. You have to go; it’s all you have wanted.”
Amber shrugged her shoulders. “I have new dreams now. Sure, they changed in the blink of an eye, and they are based on
something I can’t even tell anyone about, but it’s something I want more than that insignia on the back of my car. Call me crazy, but I look at my parents and know that they got where they are not because of a degree or school but because of the strength of the bond between the two of them.”
Logan slowly allowed himself to smile and reached over, pulling her into a hug. She tried to pull back, but he wouldn’t let her. “Let someone walk in and see, who cares? I am just giving you a hug.”
Amber relaxed into his arms. “Thank you.”
Logan chuckled. “I should be the one thanking you. You have made my day, and probably more than that. I don’t want you to make choices you will hate me for in the future, but at the same time I have hated the idea of you leaving. I will stand by you no matter what decision that you make.”
Amber pulled back and Logan ran his hands through her hair, cupping her cheek with his hand. He leaned in and gently pressed his lips against hers. She could feel the heat in her chest and her heart beating wildly. Her knees were almost too weak to stay upright. He looked back at her and smiled. “Everything will turn out okay in the end. We just have to have faith that we are making the right decisions.”
Amber smiled and kissed his nose. He backed away and she turned to make her coffee just as her mom walked through the door into the kitchen. Amber jumped slightly and turned to look at her.
Lisa picked up the phone that she had left on the counter and paused. “Just give him some time, sweetie. Your father wants what is best for you, or at least what he thinks is best for you. Maybe the two of you can sit down and you can tell him your plan. That will help him be more secure in the idea that you are making the right decision.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Amber replied.
Lisa glanced over at Logan and nodded before walking back out of the kitchen. Amber took a sip of her coffee and thought about her mother’s words. A plan? She had no idea what she would do if she stayed there. She had only just realized she couldn’t leave Logan behind, not even for Yale. She glanced over at him and smiled to herself, watching as he ate his croissant and watched the birds out the kitchen window.
She may not have a plan, she may not have Yale, and she may have zero clue about what to do next, but she wasn’t alone in it. She had something she valued way more than that, and that was Logan at her side no matter what.
15
Logan
Everything got pretty complicated, and fast. Lisa and Matt owned a condo out in Colorado, and shortly after the conversation in the kitchen, they got a call that one of the Airbnb renters had completely trashed the place. Matt had put Logan and Jordan together on a plane to fly out there to assess the damage, and fix what they could. When they had said damage, Logan expected dirty floors, maybe a broken piece of furniture, but when they had arrived they were completely shocked.
There were holes in the walls, the furniture had been destroyed, the television broken, and chunks nicked out of the solid oak floors. The place looked like someone had taken a baseball bat to it, and it wreaked of alcohol. Whoever had rented the place had a serious rager and just blew the condo to shreds. Logan had already been upset that he had to leave Amber behind in LA, and from the looks of the place when they arrived Tuesday night, they might be there for a few days.
After the conversation in the kitchen Monday morning Logan hadn’t been able to find alone time with Amber at all. She was either with Taylor or having long discussions with one or both of her parents. Jordan had been coming home early, so there was no waiting until they were in bed to watch a movie together, either. It had been hectic, to say the least, and all he wanted to do was get back to LA so he could be there for her. She was struggling with the fact that her father was so upset with her over Yale. She just wanted people to respect her decision.
Logan wasn’t very excited about the prospect of her giving up what she wanted for him, but he hated the idea of her leaving. It was a tricky situation, something he knew that deep down Amber hadn’t fully committed to yet. He knew there was a chance that she could decide to stay the course and go to Yale in the fall. There was no way he could try to discourage her from that; it truly was what was best for her. At the same time, his own stubbornness and selfishness kept him from coaxing her into changing her mind on not leaving.
Flying out to Colorado in the middle of it all didn’t help in the least. It put him out of sight and put her father’s insistence at the forefront. He was terrified he would get back home and she would have changed her mind. Logan stepped over a pile of trash and grabbed the pieces of a broken lamp, feeling helpless.
Jordan came from the back room and slung down a trash bag full of liquor bottles. “If I ever see these assholes again, I seriously might snap their necks.”
Logan chuckled. “What, you never went to a raging party where people went bat shit crazy and destroyed everything in the house?”
Jordan lifted an eyebrow. “No, no I haven’t. Have you?”
Logan shook his head. “No. Most people I tended to hang out with at least didn’t want to go to jail.”
Jordan pulled out his camera. “Have you started on the kitchen yet?”
“No, not yet. Just moving through the living room.”
Logan nodded. “Okay, I think that’s the last room I have to photograph. I gotta send these pictures over to the detective.”
When they arrived and saw the damage, the first thing they did was call the cops. They thought maybe there had been a break-in, but there was no damage to any door or window and the place had been locked up when they arrived. They had just had a fraternity staying there for a brother’s ski weekend, and they could only assume it had gotten out of hand. They went ahead and filed the report because someone was going to have to be responsible for the damages.
The cop had told them to take pictures of everything just as it was and send them over to him and to their insurance company. After that, they could start cleaning up the mess and assessing the repairs. Jordan was livid; some young idiots had come into his parents’ house and acted like it meant nothing to them. Logan could see the fierceness that was flowing through him every time he picked up a broken trinket or a leg from one of the chairs.
“Of course. They rolled up in here and broke the fucking dishes. Who fucking does this?” Jordan yelled from the kitchen.
Logan groaned as he swept the floors, moving all the debris into one pile. “I don’t know, brother, but we’ll get this place back into shape and we’ll catch the assholes who did it. Luckily, we have all the information on who rented it last and the statement from the housekeeper that it was perfect before they got there, and hours after they left it looked like this.”
Jordan emerged from the kitchen, tossing a shard of a plate into the pile. “It just pisses me off because my parents may have a lot of money, but they got there because they worked their asses off. Then some entitled idiots come rolling through and start breaking all their shit. I told my parents when I heard about the listing that it was a bad idea, but Dad was in a fraternity and had no idea how different it is now.”
Logan swept the large debris into a trash bag. “The good news is we are almost done cleaning up and you said the repair guys are coming this afternoon, right?”
Jordan rubbed his face. “Yeah, they will be here in a few hours.”
Logan patted him on the shoulder. “That’s good. As long as your father is satisfied with the work we did, we should be able to get back to Los Angeles by tomorrow. You’ll be stress free by this time Friday. That’s a good start to a weekend.”
Jordan sat down on the edge of the couch, pulling a liquor bottle from between the cushions. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Logan continued cleaning. “So, you gonna go out to the bars and grab some hot chick to take your frustration out on?”
Jordan scoffed. “No, actually. I kind of met someone back home. She’s a really cool chick, smart, funny, super sexy. I think that this one is one I might want to stick around for a whil
e. She’s not the same as all the others. I met her at a convention my dad took me to and we had a few drinks and hit it off. We haven’t even slept together yet.”
Logan was shocked. “Wow, man, that’s huge for you. She must be amazing. I don’t think I can remember the last time you talked about a longer term relationship unless you count the one with your car when you named her and gave her a personality.”
Jordan tilted his head. “You leave Annalise out of this. She is my baby. She has been nothing but faithful to me.”
Logan laughed. “I know, man, but at some point, you have to start thinking about committing to someone who has a heartbeat and isn't a piece of machinery.”
Jordan grinned. “I know. And this girl, who knows, she might be the one to do it with. She is a ball buster, though, I won’t lie. She is strong and assertive, she doesn’t let anyone kick her in the teeth. She’s in the movie business too, directing small time and then script writing, actually, for some larger people like Nicholas Sparks. She had to work her way through a man’s world and was kind of content with just focusing until we met. We’ll see where it goes. How about you?”
Logan smiled as he swept. “Actually, yeah. I have someone in my sights for sure. There is a lot to it, but she is pretty awesome. As far as this girl you are talking about, it sounds great, man. I want you to be happy and maybe start shedding some of those college years.”
“Ha! Not sure that will ever fully happen, but she gets it and she is patient about it, at least so far.”
Logan picked up the trash bag and set it to the side, looking around the room. “Okay, so this room just needs a vacuum and mop so that they can get the stains out of the hardwood. We’re tossing the rug, right?”
Jordan nodded. “Yeah, my mom hates it, but I told her there were several different types of bodily fluid on it and she said it was worth buying another one.”