by Katy Kaylee
“Sorry, buddy, but we are going to have to agree you don’t kick my organs, and I would really prefer we back off on the morning sickness thing,” I whispered, not wanting to disturb Chance, who was snoring away on my couch.
I knew the baby had no control, but talking to my belly gave me some comfort. I glanced up at Chance as he shifted positions on the couch, and smiled. I was glad to have him there. I’d been feeling very alone all week. Now that Chance knew everything, I was ready to move forward. I knew he would help me out and be a shoulder for me to lean on when things got tough. Reading the book and the predictions of what was to come for me, I knew more than ever I was going to need someone to lean on. It was a little disappointing that the shoulder I was going to be leaning on was my brother’s. I wished it would be Jax. It wasn’t mean to be. I kept telling myself that. It wasn’t meant to be, and the sooner I accepted that fact, the sooner I could move on with my life.
There was a soft knock on the door. I looked over to see if Chance had heard it. He didn’t seem to notice. I got up, expecting it to be Carolina. She had mentioned she wanted to stop by sometime over the weekend.
“Jax?” I whispered when I saw him standing there.
“Hi. Can I come in?” he asked.
I looked over my shoulder and stepped into the hall, pulling the door partially closed behind me. “Chance is here. He’s asleep on the couch.”
“Oh. Probably not a good idea for me to go in there. He’d probably wake up and deck me. I’m not interested in a fight today,” he mumbled.
“We could go down to the coffee shop,” I offered.
“Actually, can I take you to my place? There’s something I wanted to show you,” he said.
The way he was looking at me with those soft, pleading eyes was nearly my undoing. I couldn’t deny him. “Sure, let me grab my purse.”
He was leaning against the wall when I walked back into the hallway. Instead of waking Chance to tell him I was leaving and dealing with what almost surely be the fight Jax wanted to avoid, I decided to send him a text once we were on our way to his place.
He opened the passenger door for me, closing it once I was tucked inside. He got in the driver’s seat and buckled up before pulling out, looking both ways at least twenty times. When he pulled out, he did it slow and easy, as if he were afraid to hurt his car. It was then I realized he was driving like that because of me and my condition. It was endearing.
“I’m going to text Chance and let him know where I am,” I said nervously.
“I don’t live far. I have a town house,” he answered.
He drove across town and parked in the driveway of a massive townhome. It wasn’t what I expected at all. It was a family neighborhood with Christmas decorations that would rival any Norman Rockwell image.
“Wow, this is nice,” I said when he unlocked the door and pushed it open, gesturing for me to go in first.
“Thank you. It’s way too big, but I liked the area and I fell in love with the house. I didn’t want anything crazy and outrageous like some of my fellow models.”
I nodded, my eyes roaming around the great room. It was decorated in a modern design, but it had a warm feel instead of that cold bachelor tone. “Did you decorate it yourself?” I asked, keeping the conversation light while stalling before we had to have the big conversation.
“Not really. I worked with a guy who kind of guided me in the right direction,” he answered, moving upstairs.
I marveled at the dark hardwood floors that shone like they’d been waxed with a million pounds of wax. He turned down the hall, passing a set of double doors on the left that were partially opened. I guessed that to be the master bedroom judging by the huge bed up against the wall. He stopped in front of a door about twenty feet down the hall.
“What’s going on?” I asked him, when he stood in front of the door, facing me.
“I want to show you something,” he said, turning the handle and pushing open the door.
I walked in, my eyes roaming the large room with big windows along the wall. The room was painted a light yellow, making it feel warm and sunny. There were gauzy curtains hanging over the windows, giving the room a very homey feeling. I turned and saw a crib in the corner and realized it was a nursery.
I spun around to look at him. “What is this?” I gasped.
“It’s a nursery. I wanted to show you how serious I was about the baby. I want you and the baby in my life. I want to be a family. I know there’s been a lot between us, but we can get past that. I know you’re tired of hearing the words. You’re the kind of woman who wants action, not niceties. This is me proving to you I’m ready to make changes.”
It was overwhelming. I could feel tears springing to my eyes as I took in the sight of the room. In my mind, I was already picturing a rocking chair in the corner and a big stuffed giraffe with lots of other stuffies around it. I quickly pulled myself out of the little daydream and focused on the man staring at me, waiting for me to answer him.
“Jax, this is all very nice and I appreciate what you’ve done here, but I need you to understand what you’re getting into here. Pregnancy and a baby are no joke. This is going to be a hard road.”
He nodded. “I know. I mean, I don’t know, but I know it is going to be filled with ups and downs. I know we’ve got a lot to deal with in the coming months, and I’m ready to do that. I want to go through this with you. I want it to bring us together. Penny, I have loved you for years. I’ve longed for us to be together just like this, raising a family. I think it’s why I bought this house. I always pictured the two of us living here and raising our family together. I know it’s a lot, and I know it’s probably a lot more than I deserve, but I promise I won’t do anything to purposely hurt you.”
“Jax,” I breathed, emotion robbing me of words.
“This is everything I want, right here in this room,” he whispered.
I couldn’t stop myself and walked right into his open arms. I kissed him once, looking up and into his eyes as his arms came around my waist. We stared at each other for long seconds before his eyes closed and his mouth covered mine. I leaned into him, letting him envelope me with his sweet tenderness.
“I want you,” I told him with a fierceness I felt in my very soul.
“You have me. I’m yours. I’ve always been yours,” he said, stepping away before dropping down and lifting me in his arms.
I let him carry me down the hall to his massive bedroom. He delicately laid me on his bed, treating me as fragile as a precious piece of glass. I smiled up at him as he pulled off his shirt and quickly stepped out of his jeans. I moved to push down my leggings when he reached out and stopped me.
“I’ll do it. I want to unwrap you like the gift you are,” he said.
I shuddered; his words were perfect. I let my arms fall to my sides as he reached under my sweater and grabbed the waistband of my leggings, gently pulling them down my legs. I moved to pull off my sweater, freezing with the hem halfway up my stomach when he slowly shook his head. I smiled, dropping my arms again and letting him finish undressing me. When I was left with only my panties on, he looked at me and offered me that sexy little smile I loved so much.
“You know I have to,” he said.
I let out a small giggle. “I know you do.”
He hooked his thumb under it but stopped. “Are you sure?”
“Dammit, Jax, rip them off me!” I demanded.
It was the only encouragement he needed. He yanked, tearing the thin fabric and tossing it to the side. “You’re so beautiful.”
I smiled, used to hearing him say the words, but they never felt practiced or unfeeling. I knew he meant it. He could say it a hundred times and I would be okay with it. He gently put one knee on the bed, sinking it down with his weight as he came to lie beside me. His hand brushed over my stomach, pausing to cradle the tiny baby bump that seemed to be more pronounced the last few days.
“I want to love you like I did before, but I don�
�t think I can do it like last time,” he said, looking at me with real concern.
“I’ll be fine. I was reading a book before you came over and it says sex is perfectly safe, but maybe not all of it,” I said blushing furiously.
“All of it? I can only be partially inside you?” he asked with horror.
“No, this,” I said, putting my fingers on his lips.
He frowned, clearly not happy. “We’ll talk to the doctor about that. Right now, I just want to be with you.”
“I’m yours,” I whispered, leaning up to kiss him.
He returned the kiss, slow and sweet as his hand held firm over my stomach. I reached between us and grabbed his cock in my hand, letting him know I wanted a lot more than what he was giving. It was exactly the encouragement he needed. His hand slid over the apex between my legs, cupping me and infusing me with heat. I moaned into his mouth. I needed him more than ever. We’d had sex many times, but right then, I needed him, the man.
I opened my legs, covering his hand with my own and pressing against it. He took the cue and began to work over me with those magical fingers, pulling the first orgasm from me within seconds. I always felt aroused when I was with him. No other man would ever touch me the way he could. I never wanted another man to touch me.
He crawled over me, being extra careful to keep his weight off me as he guided the head of his cock to my opening slick with my orgasm. He slowly pushed in, taking his sweet time. Our eyes locked and held as his face hovered inches above mine. My body opened, welcoming him inside as he slid into the hilt, his balls resting against me. I smiled while he slowly stroked the hair away from my face.
“I want to stay like this forever,” he whispered.
“Okay,” I answered, running my fingertips over his cheek, gently rubbing over his lips before leaning up to kiss him.
He closed his eyes and quietly groaned as his body began to move inside mine. I dropped my head back to the mattress and let myself languish in the moment, feeling completely loved and cherished by the man who’d been in my dreams for years.
33
Jax
Being buried deep inside her was heaven, sweet, sweet ecstasy all bundled up in one perfect package. I was trying to be gentle with her, but the higher my arousal climbed, the harder it was to hold back. She whimpered and moaned, telling me her own ecstasy was slowly climbing higher and higher.
“God damn, you feel so good. I don’t want to ever stop making love to you,” I told her through gritted teeth.
She moaned loud, arching her back and shifting the position of my dick inside her just enough to set off a firestorm of excitement. I hissed, counting to ten in my mind to keep from exploding inside her. It was too soon—I wasn’t done. Not yet.
“Jax, love me. Love me harder,” she whimpered, her nails scoring a path down my back.
I could feel her slick juices increasing and knew she was close to her second orgasm. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t hold out long enough to give her a third. All week I’d been thinking about sex with her, imagining my life without her in it. I never wanted to have to think about that again.
I pushed up, stretching my arms out and rising to my knees, pulling her body to rest on my thighs. I reached between us, finding that delicious little nugget of ecstasy that would make her fall apart. I pressed against it with the pad of my thumb, gently rubbing it while I throbbed inside her.
She screamed, her hands slapping at the bed as I continued to pleasure her, watching her face as she groaned. Her head thrashed back and forth across the mattress. I intensified the pressure, rubbing harder and faster, shifting her body a little higher against mine as I pushed inside her impossibly deeper. She screamed, a combination of curse words with my name mingled somewhere in between. Hearing her, watching her come apart and feeling the gush of ecstasy tore away my self-control. I shouted as I pounded into her body with my own release. It was damn near mind-blowing. I had seen stars for a brief second and felt as if I were going to pass out. I managed to slide her up the bed and fall beside her before I closed my eyes for several long minutes, struggling to come back down to earth.
“Are you okay?” I asked her.
“Yes. Good,” she grunted.
I chuckled close to her, happy to know she was feeling that same satiation that left a person feeling boneless. I held her close, never wanting to let her go. I knew without a doubt I would never love a woman like I loved Penny. I would never feel what I did with another woman. It had been a long time, but I remembered the sex before Penny. It had gotten me off, but it had never been an all-consuming fire that burned through my veins. I had never seen stars or felt like I would die during a powerful orgasm. Only Penny had that power.
“Move in with me,” I blurted out.
She slid her head away from me, turning to look at me, our noses touching. “What?”
“I want you to move in with me. I want to be with you. You have to know it is only you for me. I told you I bought this house with you in mind. If you don’t like it, we’ll move. We’ll pick out a new house together. I want to spend every day with you, watching our child grow inside you. I want to take care of you. I want to rub your feet after a long day and run out to the store to buy you pickles and ice cream at two o’clock in the morning. I want it all and I only want it with you,” I said, professing my love for her the only way I could think to.
“Don’t you think we might be moving a little fast here? Yesterday we weren’t even talking. Six months ago we hated each other, and now you want to move in and start a family together?” she asked skeptically.
I held up one finger close to her face. “First of all, I never hated you. Second of all, I’m only asking you to move in because technically we already started a family.”
She giggled, rubbing her nose against mine. “You are so persistent.”
“I am when I know what I want, and I want you. I’m not going to take no for an answer. I am going to hound you for the rest of your days until you agree to move in with me.”
She kissed me hard and quick on the lips before pulling away and looking into my eyes. “I did hate you. I really did. Not like a hate I wanted you to die or disappear forever but hated you for what you’d done and for moving on with your life like nothing had happened. But that hate was only so powerful because I loved you. I hated that I loved you after everything that had happened. I had been told a million times I could only hate someone if I cared for that person. I denied it often, but I knew. I knew you were still holed up in my heart, taking up space and refusing to go—just like now. Because the Jax I know has always been a stubborn son of a gun and won’t stop until he gets what he wants.”
I grinned, happy to hear her say it. “You loved me?”
She frowned. “You know I did.”
I gave a small shake of my head. “I didn’t. I thought it was a crush. You used me and that was it.”
“No way! Not even. I only told you that it could only happen one time because I thought that was the only way you would have sex with me. My master plan was to get you into bed and wow you with my sex abilities, and then you would profess your love and we would live happily ever after. My plan backfired in a very big way,” she said, twisting her face with frustration.
It was the cutest thing ever. “God, I love you. We have to come to an agreement, right now, in this bed.”
“What kind of agreement. Do I need my lawyer to review this agreement? I’m not signing anything while I’m naked,” she asserted playfully.
“No signing, but I do want your promise.”
“My promise of what?”
“That you’ll talk to me. You’ll tell me what’s bothering you or tell me when I’ve fucked up. I can be kind of a dolt at times, and I might not even realize I’m being an idiot if you don’t tell me. I’ll do the same for you. A misunderstanding led to too many years of misery. I don’t want to waste that kind of time again. We can’t let that happen anymore, not with my baby growing inside you,”
I told her.
“I can do that, but Jax, I might struggle for a while. What happened back then, it left some scars. It changed me. It made me look at people in a different light. I trust no one. I want to trust you, but it might take some time. I’m going to be a hormonal nutjob very soon according to the book I read, and it might be difficult to be around me at times,” she said.
I put my hand on her cheek and looked deep into her eyes. “Penny, I’m so sorry for what I did. I will have to live with the guilt and regret of my actions for the rest of my life. I would never purposely hurt you. I didn’t think. I was stupid and reacted without thinking about consequences. Once the story started to spread, it went like wildfire. I couldn’t pull back. I was a coward and afraid to admit the truth. I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry, and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I will prove to you every day that you can trust me. I love you. Please, please believe me,” I begged.
“I know you’re sorry, and I do accept your apology. I’m only telling you that trust is going to be a slow build for me,” she said in a soft voice.
“Okay. I can understand that. Is there anything I can do right now to start working on that trust?” I asked her, willing to buy her the moon if that’s what she asked for.
She looked thoughtful for a second before a bright smile spread over her face. “I do have something you can do for me.”
“What is it? Name it and it’s done.”
“Hire me back?” she squeaked.
“I never accepted your resignation. Sorry, but you don’t get to quit your job or me. Next?”
She burst into laughter, her head going back as her body rocked against mine. “You’re a horrible boss. You must know that.”
I shrugged a shoulder. “I probably am, but I promise I’ll be a good daddy. I will devote all my time and energy to being a good father. Maybe you should quit work,” I said, realizing I didn’t want anyone else taking care of our child.
She scowled at me. “Don’t you dare go getting all overprotective. I want to work. I like work. We’ll figure something out with the baby when it’s time. Don’t ask me to give up my job—not yet.”