by Anna Blakely
“What look?”
“The one you had when I opened the door a few minutes ago. It’s like you’ve closed yourself off to me. I know I deserve it. I deserve a hell of a lot worse than that, actually.” Mac wiped away a single tear. “You’ve been such a good friend to me, Sean. Even when I was a complete bitch, you still managed to smile and carry on like I was the best person to be around.”
“You’re not a bitch, Mac.”
“Oh, but I can act like one. I can also be completely selfish, which is why I never wanted you to know all this stuff about me. You’re such a good, honest man. I couldn’t stand knowing you thought less of me.”
The skin on his forehead creased together. “Why in the hell would I have thought less of you?”
“Come on, Sean.” Mac shot him a knowing gaze. “I’m the mobster’s daughter, remember? Niece to the infamous crime boss. I stabbed a man, stole two million dollars, and entered the United States Military under a false name.”
“Mac.” He reached for her, but this time she was the one who stepped back.
“Please, don’t.” If he touched her, she’d never be able to get through this. “All the honor and integrity they taught us about in boot camp and with the Rangers? I betrayed that honor every single day I served. I’ve been betraying you and Derek and Grant from the second I joined R.I.S.C. and became part of Alpha Team.”
“With our boss’s blessing.” He took a hesitant step toward her. “Jake McQueen is the most honorable man I know. If he agreed to let you continue living the lie, he must’ve seen something in you worth keeping your secret.”
“He didn’t do it for me.” Mac shook her head confidently.
Coop took another step closer. “You sure about that?”
Her tears kept coming. “It doesn’t matter, anymore. There’s too much, Sean. Too much death. Too much baggage.”
“Newsflash, sweetheart. We all have baggage.”
Mac forced herself to look him in the eyes. “You heard what Luca said. About the night I stabbed him. That was my last secret.” She swiped at a trail of fresh tears. “I never wanted you to find out about that night.”
“I’ve never wanted to kill someone more than I did today.”
Coop’s words came out rough, deadly, and Mac knew he was telling the truth. She could still see the unhinged fury in his eyes when he’d been on that floor, beating the hell out of Luca earlier.
“When I heard that bastard talking to you like that, when I imagined you as a young girl having to go through what the son of a bitch tried to do to you, I swear to God I’ve never been more enraged in my life.” Coop brushed his knuckles down her damp cheeks. “Or more proud.”
“Proud?”
“You fought him off, baby.” One corner of his lips turned upward. “You were a total badass, even back then.”
Mac stared up at him. “I thought you were mad at me.”
“I am.”
“So why are you here? Touching me like this?” It was all so confusing.
“You don’t want me to touch you?”
God, yes. More than anything, she wanted this. Wanted him. But she’d promised herself no more secrets, and that meant she had to face the truth, too. Even when it was the last thing in the world she wanted to hear.
“I want you to be honest with me. And with yourself.” The hypocrisy in her words weren’t lost on her, but he had to know what she was thinking. “You can say all the sweet things you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I saw the way you looked at me before you left Tony’s office. You were so—”
“Scared.”
Mac blinked. “What?”
“I left to go find the shooter because I was scared.” Coop’s eyes stared down into hers, the truth in his words shining behind them. “When I heard that bastard’s voice, knowing what he’d done to you in the past…I wanted to rip his fucking heart out and shove it down his goddamn throat. But I couldn’t because I wasn’t with you. I’d left you alone and then he was there, and…” He blinked quickly. “I didn’t think I was going to get to you in time.”
“Sean.”
“When you went down, I saw all that blood and I couldn’t get you to wake up. I thought”—his voice cracked—“I thought you’d been hit. God, Mac. I thought I’d lost you.”
“I’m right here.” She cupped his scruff-covered jaw. “I’m okay, and I’m right here.”
“After I realized you were okay, I found out Ryker knew all about you, too, and it all became too much. There were too many fucking emotions filling me up, so I stepped away to clear my head. To decide what to do next.”
“And?” She asked nervously. “What did you decide?”
Coop’s eyes softened, his callused palm resting against her cheek. “I’m here, aren’t I?”
Her heart felt so full and empty, all at the same time. “You shouldn’t be.”
“Why not?”
“Because this…us. It’s not going to work.” Mac licked her dry lips. “I’ve made too many mistakes.”
“You’re right.”
Her stomach dropped, but he continued talking.
“Part of me is still pissed about all the lying, but I get it. Regardless, we’ve all made mistakes, Mac. The thing is, the mistakes don’t make us who we are. It’s how we pick ourselves up and move on from them that matters.”
His handsome image blurred behind a well of unshed tears. Mac swallowed against the painful lump in her throat, barely managing to admit to him, “I don’t know how.”
“That’s okay, baby.” Coop framed her face with his strong, callused hands. “I can show you.” He dropped his hands and went to the door.
He’s leaving?
Mac’s heart felt like it would pound right out of her chest with the need for him to stay, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to. He’d given her so much more than she deserved, already. His forgiveness the most important of them all.
Determined to keep the tiny scrap of dignity she had left, Mac straightened her spine and lifted her chin. She watched him reach for the door, her parting lips threatening to defy her vow not to beg.
Coop turned the lock and slid the chain guard back in place.
“You’re not…leaving?”
When he turned back around, Mac’s breath stuttered inside her lungs. She could feel the heat radiating in his eyes from all the way across the room.
“Do you want me to?”
Unable to formulate a verbal answer, she silently shook her head.
Coop prowled across the carpet, coming to a stop less than an inch from where she still stood. “Then I’ll stay.”
She watched as he pulled out his phone. He held it out as he typed, making sure she had a clear view of what he was texting Trevor.
Staying over here tonight.
He hit send. A few seconds later, he received a response.
See you both in the morning.
The man was too smart not to know exactly why they were spending the night together. Mac bit her lip nervously.
“What’s he going to think about you staying here with me?”
Coop shoved his phone back into his pocket and locked his eyes with hers. “This isn’t about Trevor. Or anyone else, for that matter.” Raising his hand to the side of her head, he raked his fingers through the damp strands before gently grasping the back of her neck. “This is about you and me.” He brushed her lips with his. “The only thing that matters is what we think.” Another barely-there kiss. “What we want.”
It seemed obvious, but Mac still had to ask. “And what is it you want, Sean?”
“You, baby.” He didn’t hesitate to answer before pulling her bottom lip between his teeth. “I only want you.”
He took control of her mouth, his lips pressing against hers in a deliciously controlling kiss. As she opened up for him, allowing him to probe deeper, Mac stopped fighting the ghosts from her past and gave herself over to the warmth and safety of his embrace.
Her eyes wer
e closed, so she didn’t know he’d reached for the knot between her breasts until she felt him release it. Coop let the thick terrycloth drop to the floor as he picked her up and carried her naked to the nearest bed.
Was he right? Was it possible for someone like her to move on from the mess she’d made of her life? To have a meaningful relationship with someone and enjoy life like a normal person?
To be happy.
As Coop began making slow, sweet love to her, Mac began to believe for the first time since that fateful day that maybe, just maybe she could.
8
Two days later…
“Explain to me again why we’re here.”
From behind the wheel of his truck, Coop looked over at Mac. Her long ponytail swished across the back of her white blouse as she looked at the beautiful landscape through the passenger window.
After hashing everything out in her hotel room two nights ago—and then making love until the wee hours—Coop had told her they’d be doing things his way from now on.
He knew she wasn’t happy about being forced to leave Jersey, but he’d wanted her as far away from there as possible while they figured out what to do next. Thankfully Trevor had agreed.
The plan was for them to go someplace safe and hang out while they figured out their next move. Coop had offered up the perfect place for him and Mac to lay low.
So, early the following morning— was that yesterday? —he and Mac had gone with Trevor to the warehouse where Mac had hidden the money all those years ago. Surprisingly the cash was still there, hidden safely away behind several bricks.
Coop couldn’t believe someone hadn’t found it by now. But like Mac had pointed out, there was no reason for anyone to suspect the brick structure held two million dollars in cash. She would have preferred to leave it there, but he’d insisted they keep it nearby in case the blackmailer contacted her again.
Upon Jake’s order, Derek used R.I.S.C.’s private jet to pick them up at a secured airstrip owned by Homeland, and then flew them all straight back home to Dallas.
Once they landed, Trevor took the money to the safe in the downtown office while Coop and Mac went to her place to pack enough clothes to last a week. Afterward, they went to his apartment, where they spent another amazing night together.
Mac seemed to be on board with the idea of the two of them taking time away to regroup and plan…until they got on the highway this morning. With nothing else to do but sit and think, she’d started getting fidgety and second-guessing everything.
Hopefully not everything.
After a quick glance at the road in front of them, he slid his gaze to the passenger floorboard, his focus landing on the bright pink polish covering her dainty little toenails. He’d never understood the guys who were into feet, but damn if she didn’t tempt him to become one.
Face smooth and fresh, with just the tiniest amount of makeup, she turned and waved her hand toward him. “Hellooo. You gonna answer my question, or keep staring at my feet?”
“Can’t help it.” He grinned. “They’re so cute.”
Mac rolled her pretty eyes—something she did a lot when he was around. He knew she was trying to act annoyed, but the slight smirk pulling at her lips gave her away.
Coop let out an exaggerated sigh. “As I said before, we’re here because until we figure out who sent you the pictures and that note, we have to assume you’re not safe.”
“And as I said before, the threat was directed toward you, not me. We would’ve been safe back in the city. I mean, we’ve both played the bodyguard role enough times, don’t you think we could’ve managed to guard each other?”
“Oh, don’t worry, baby,” he teased. “I plan on guarding your body plenty while we’re here.”
Her baby blues grew wide as she choked out a laugh. “Uh, not a chance.”
Coop frowned. “Why not?”
“We’re going to your parent’s farm.”
“And?”
“And, your dad’s a preacher!”
He shrugged. “Retired preacher.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Mac shook her head. “I am not putting that kind of bad mojo on us.”
Coop chuckled. “Bad mojo?”
Looking adorably serious, she raised a brow. “Having sex in a preacher’s house is just…wrong. On so many levels.”
“Huh.” With one hand on the wheel, he rubbed his chin, pretending to ponder her concern. “I guess that means I’ll have to get creative.”
She laughed when he waggled his eyebrows, which was his goal. He hated seeing her wound so tightly. If the stubborn woman wasn’t careful, one of these days that thin band was going to snap. That happens, the woman he loved could very well fall to pieces.
I’ll be there to help put her back together.
Mac’s laughter died down and she glanced out the window again. “I don’t know, Sean. I have an uneasy feeling about this little trip.”
“Relax.” Keeping one hand on the wheel, he reached over and wrapped his other one around hers. “This place is about as uneventful and in-the-middle-of-nowhere as you can get.”
“My point, exactly. We’ll be sitting ducks in the middle of all this wide-open space.”
He brought her hand to his lips. “You said you trust me, right?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t hesitate. He took that as a very good sign.
“So trust me with this.”
She squeezed his hand and smiled. “Okay. I have to warn you, though. Since I’ve never had a serious relationship, I haven’t had to do the whole meet-the-parents thing.” As if she suddenly realized what she’d said, Mac quickly started backpedaling. “Not that I’m implying we’re in a serious relationship. I only meant that…I mean, I’ve never met your parents before. Plus, we’ve been…”
“Having sex?” Coop’s lips quirked, clearly holding back a laugh.
“Yes, that.” Her cheeks became flushed, even as her gorgeous eyes became narrowed slits. She used her free hand to slap him on the shoulder. “This isn’t funny, Sean. What if they hate me?”
He chuckled. “My parents are not going to hate you. I promise.” He gave her hand a little squeeze. “They’re gonna love you.”
Like I do.
Coop wanted to say the words, but he held them in. With everything that had happened, plus them having only recently moved into the more-than-partners category, he didn’t want to scare her off.
Mac was an incredible woman who checked all his boxes…and then some. She was also still a little gun-shy about them as a couple. It was another reason he’d suggested they hide out here, at his folks’.
His family was the best. If Mac could spend a few days getting to know them, there was no way she wouldn’t fall in love with his parents. She falls in love with them…
She might fall in love with me.
Coop was already there. Had been for nearly as long as he’d known her.
As far as he was concerned, Mac was it for him. He knew in his heart they belonged together. He just needed a little more time to prove that to her.
Before long, they were turning onto the gravel road located on the eastern edge of his family’s property. For the first time in his life, being here made him nervous.
It was the first time he cared about the way someone else would see it.
“This is where you grew up?” Mac’s eyes took in the open fields and the white, two-story farmhouse he still called home. Her voice was soft, unreadable.
“Yep. Lived here from the time I was born until the day I left for boot camp. Plus the times between deployments until I got my own apartment.” He studied her, trying to figure out what she was thinking. “I know it’s a far cry from New York, but it’s—”
“Perfect.” She swung her gaze to his.
“You really think so?” Hope filled his chest. “Growing up in Manhattan, I would’ve thought you’d hate it out here. No Fifth Avenue shops or Starbucks right around the corner.”
Mac shoo
k her head. “I hated living in the city. The constant noise and traffic. All the people and bad smells.” She stared out the window again. “The only part I liked about Manhattan was Central Park.”
“Where you and your mom went together.” He remembered her telling him about their walks.
She smiled and nodded. “Its paths are lined with so many trees and there are a few, small ponds scattered about. I remember there was this one mound of huge rocks near the park entrance, closest to where we lived. I used to climb up to the highest one and look out over the dropped path. In spring and summer, it would all turn so green I could almost pretend I was out in the country somewhere. I used to beg my parents to move us out of the city, but my dad would always tell me it was an impossible dream. That his work would never allow it.” She looked down at her lap. “I didn’t truly understand until I found out what his job really was.”
Coop tightened his grip on her hand and tried to lighten the mood. “Well you’re definitely out of the city, now. Closest town has one gas station, a tiny grocery store that closes at six, and a single stop light that always flashes yellow.”
“Yellow?” Mac’s brows turned inward. “Can you even really call that a stop light?”
His shoulders shook. “Probably not.”
She matched his silent laughter, and Coop found himself more than a little relieved to see some humor filling her eyes again. It had been too damn long.
He pulled into the driveway next to his childhood home and put the truck in park. Turning to her he asked, “You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be, I suppose.”
“Come on. I’m sure Mom’s already spotted us.” Coop opened the driver’s side door, adding over his shoulder, “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot to warn you. My parents are huggers.”
Without waiting for a response, he got out of the truck and shut the door before walking around to help her down.
“I can get myself out, you know.”
“I know. But one, I like helping you, and two…my momma catches me making you get out without an offered hand, she’ll tan my hide.”
“You’re thirty-one years old.”
“Doesn’t matter. Not to my mom, anyway.”