by Nora Roberts
“What you will,” Ana said wearily. “I can’t change what I am, and I wouldn’t. Not even for you. And I won’t stand here and have you look at me as if I were a freak.”
“I’m not—”
“Shall I tell you what you’re feeling?” she asked him as another tear fell. “Betrayed, angry, hurt. And suspicious of what I am, what I can do, or will do.”
“My feelings are my own business,” he shot back, shaken. “I don’t want you to get inside me that way.”
“I know. And if I were to step forward right now, reach out to you as a woman, you’d only back away. So I’ll save us both. Good night, Boone.”
When she walked off the deck, into the shadows, he couldn’t bring himself to call her back.
Chapter 12
“I guess you’re still a little dazed.” Nash lounged against the rail of Boone’s deck, enjoying a beer and the cool evening breeze.
“I was never a little dazed,” Boone told him. “Look, maybe I’m just a narrow-minded sort of guy, Nash, but finding out the lady next door is a witch kind of threw me off stride.”
“Especially when you’re in love with the lady next door.”
“Especially. I wouldn’t have believed it. Who would? But I saw what she did with Jessie. Then I started piecing other things together.” He laughed shortly. “Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night and think I dreamed the whole thing.” He walked over to the rail, leaning out toward the sound of water. “It shouldn’t be real. She shouldn’t be real.”
“Why not? Come on, Boone, it’s our business to stretch the envelope a little.”
“This blows the envelope wide-open,” Boone pointed out. “And what we do, we do for books, for movies. It’s entertainment, Nash, it’s not life.”
“It’s mine now.”
Boone blew out a breath. “I guess it is. But didn’t you … don’t you even question it, or worry about it?”
“Sure, I did. I thought she was pulling my leg until she tossed me up in the air and left me hanging there.” The memory made him grin, even as Boone shut his eyes. “Morgana’s not the subtle type. Once I realized the whole thing was on the level, it was wild, you know?”
“Wild,” Boone repeated.
“Yeah. I mean, I’ve spent most of my life making up stories about this kind of thing, and here I end up marrying an honest-to-goodness witch. Elfin blood and everything.”
“Elfin blood.” The term had Boone’s head reeling. “It doesn’t bother you?”
“Why should it bother me? It makes her who she is, and I love her. I have to admit I’m a little dubious about the kids. I mean, once they get going, I’ll be outnumbered.”
“The twins.” Boone had to force his mouth to close. “Are you telling me those babies are … will be …”
“A pretty sure bet. Come on, Boone, they aren’t going to grow warts and start to cackle. They just get a little something extra. Mel’s expecting, too. She just found out for sure. She’s the most down-to-earth lady I know. And she’s handling Sebastian as if she’s been around a psychic all her life.”
“So you’re saying, ‘Loosen, up, Boone. What’s your problem?’”
Nash dropped down onto the bench. “I know it’s not that easy.”
“Let me ask you this: How far into the relationship were you when Morgana told you about her—what do I call it?—her heritage.”
“Pretty much right off the bat. I was researching a script, and I’d heard about her. You know how people are always telling me about weird stuff.”
“Yeah.”
“Not that I believed it, but I thought she’d make a good interview. And—”
“What about Mel and Sebastian?”
“I can’t say for sure, but she met him when a client of hers wanted to hire a psychic.” Nash frowned into his beer. “I know what you’re getting at, and you’ve got a point. Maybe she should have been straight with you earlier.”
He gave a choked laugh. “Maybe?”
“Okay, she should have been. But you don’t know the whole story. Morgana told me that Ana was in love with this guy a few years back. She was only about twenty, I think, and really nuts about him. He was an intern at some hospital, and she got the idea that they could work together, that she could help him. So she told him everything and he dumped her. Hard. Apparently he was pretty vicious about it, and with her empathic thing she’s really vulnerable to, well … bad vibes, let’s say. It left her pretty shaky. She made up her mind she’d go it alone.” When Boone said nothing, Nash blundered on. “Look, I can’t tell you what to do, or how to feel. I just want to say that she wouldn’t have done anything to hurt you or Jessie on purpose. She’s just not capable of it.”
Boone looked toward the house next door. The windows were blank and dark, as they had been for more than a week. “Where is she?”
“She wanted to get away for a little while. Give everybody some room, I guess.”
“I haven’t seen her since the night she told me. For the first few days, I figured it was better if I stayed away from her.” He felt a quick pang of guilt. “I kept Jessie away from her, too. Then, about a week ago, she took off.”
“She went to Ireland. She promised to be back before Christmas.”
Because his emotions were still raw, Boone only nodded. “I thought I might take Jessie back to Indiana before the holidays. Just for a day or two. Maybe I’ll be able to work all this out in my head by the time we all get back.”
* * *
“Christmas Eve.” Padrick sampled the wassail, smacked his lips and sighed. “No better night in the year.” Filling a cup, he handed it to his daughter. “Put color in your cheeks, my darling.”
“And fire in my blood, the way you make it.” But she smiled and sampled. “Isn’t it incredible how the twins have grown?”
“Aye.” He wasn’t fooled by the bright note in her voice. “I can’t stand to see my princess so sad.”
“I’m not.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m fine, Papa. Really.”
“I can turn him into a purple jackass for you, darling. I’d be pleasured to.”
“No.” Because she knew he was only half joking, she kissed his nose. “And you promised we wouldn’t have to talk about it once everyone got here.”
“Aye, but—”
“A promise,” she reminded him, and moved away to help her mother at the stove.
She was glad her house was filled with the people she loved, with the noise of family. There were the scents she had always associated with this holiday. Cinnamon, nutmeg, pine, bayberry. When she’d arrived home a few days before, she’d thrown herself into a flurry of preparations. Tree trimming, present wrapping, cookie baking. Anything and everything to take her mind off the fact that Boone was gone.
That he hadn’t spoken to her in more than a month.
But she would survive it. She had already decided what to do, and she refused to let her own unhappiness ruin the family celebration.
“We’ll be pleased to have you home with us back in Ireland, Ana.” Maureen bent to kiss her daughter’s head. “If it’s truly what you want.”
“I’ve missed Ireland,” Ana said simply. “I think the goose is nearly ready.” After opening the oven and taking a heady sniff, she nodded. “Ten minutes more,” she predicted. “I’ll just go see if everything’s on the table.”
“Won’t even discuss it,” Maureen said to her husband when Ana slipped out.
“Tell you what I’d like, my dove. I’d like to take that young man and send him off to some nice frozen island. Just for a day or two, mind.”
“If Ana wasn’t so sensitive about such matters, I could brew up a nice potion to bring him around.”
Padrick patted his wife’s bottom. “You have such a delicate touch, Reenie. The lad would be bound by handfast before he could blink—which would be the best thing to happen to him and that darling child of his.” He sighed, nibbling his way up his wife’s arm. “But Ana would never forgiv
e us for it. We’ll have to let her work this out her own way.”
* * *
Frustrated by a day of canceled flights and delays, Boone slammed the car door. What he wanted was a long hot bath, and what he had to look forward to was an endless night of dealing with those terrifying words Some Assembly Required.
If Santa was going to put in an appearance before morning, Boone Sawyer was going to have to put in some overtime.
“Come on, Jess.” He rubbed his tired eyes. He’d been traveling for more than twelve hours, if you counted the six he’d spent twiddling his thumbs in the airport. “Let’s get this stuff inside.”
“Ana’s home.” Jessie tugged on his arm and pointed toward the lights. “Look, Daddy. There’s Morgana’s car, and Sebastian’s, and the big black car, too. Everybody’s at Ana’s house.”
“I see that.” He felt his heart begin to trip a little faster. Then it all but stopped when he saw the For Sale sign in her front yard.
“Can we go over and say merry Christmas? Please, Daddy. I miss Ana.” She closed her hand around the zircon she wore. “Can we go say merry Christmas?”
“Yeah.” Glaring at the sign, he gripped his daughter’s hand. “Yeah, let’s go do that. Right now.”
Move away, would she? he thought as he strode across the lawn. In a pig’s eye. Sell her house when he wasn’t looking and just take off? They’d just see about that.
“Daddy, you’re walking too fast.” Jessie had to trot to keep up. “And you’re squeezing my hand.”
“Sorry.” He drew in a long breath, then let it out again. He scooped her up and took the stairs two at a time. The knock on her door wasn’t so much a request as a demand.
It was Padrick who answered, his round face wreathed in a fake white beard, and red stocking cap on his balding head. The minute he saw Boone, the twinkle in his eyes died.
“Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. Brave enough to take us all on at once, are you, boyo? We’re not all as polite as my Ana.”
“I’d like to see her.”
“Oh, would you, now? Hold it right there.” He gave Jessie his charming smile and lifted her out of Boone’s arms. “Looks like I got me a real elf this time. Tell you what, lass, you run right on in and look under that tree. See if there’s not something with your name on it.”
“Oh, can I?” She hugged Padrick fiercely, then turned back to her father. “Please, can I?”
“Sure.” Like Padrick’s, his smile faded as soon as Jessie raced inside. “I came to see Ana, Mr. Donovan.”
“Well, you’re seeing me. What do you think you’d do if someone took your Jessie’s heart and squeezed it dry?” Though he was more than a head shorter than Boone, he advanced, fists raised. “I won’t use nothing but these on you. You’ve my word as a witch. Now put ’em up.”
Boone didn’t know whether to laugh or retreat. “Mr. Donovan …”
“Take the first punch.” He stuck his whiskered chin out, looking very much like an indignant Santa. “I’ll give you that much, and it’s more than you’d be deserving. I’ve listened to her crying in the night over the likes of you, and it’s boiled my blood. Told myself, Padrick, if you get face-to-face with that weasel of a man, you’ll have to demolish him. It’s a matter of pride.” He took a swing that spun him completely around and missed Boone by a foot. “She wouldn’t let me go after that other slimy bastard when he broke her poor heart, but I’ve got you.”
“Mr. Donovan,” Boone tried again, dodging the peppery blows. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Hurt me? Hurt me!” Padrick was dancing now, fueled by the insult. His Santa cap slipped over his eyes. “Why, I could turn your insides out. I could give you the head of a badger. I could—”
“Papa!” With one sharp word, Ana stopped her father’s babbling threats.
“You go on inside, princess. This is man’s work.”
“I won’t have you fighting on my doorstep on Christmas Eve. Now, you stop it.”
“Just let me send him to the North Pole. Just for an hour or two. It’s only fitting.”
“You’ll do no such thing.” She stepped out and put a warning hand on his shoulder. “Now, go inside and behave, or I’ll have Morgana deal with you.”
“Bah! I can handle a witch half my age.”
“She’s sneaky.” Ana pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Please, Papa. Do this for me.”
“Could never refuse you anything,” he muttered. Then he turned glittering eyes on Boone. “But you watch your step, mister.” He jabbed out a plump finger. “You mess with one Donovan, you mess with them all.” With a sniff, he went inside.
“I’m sorry,” Ana began, fixing a bright smile on her face. “He’s very protective.”
“So I gathered.” Since he wasn’t going to have to defend himself after all, he could think of nothing to do with his hands but shove them in his pockets. “I wanted to—we wanted to say merry Christmas.”
“Yes, Jessie just did.” They were silent for another awkward moment. “You’re welcome to come in, have some wassail.”
“I don’t want to intrude. Your family …” He offered what almost passed for a grin. “I don’t want to risk my life, either.”
Even the faint smile faded from her eyes. “He wouldn’t really have harmed you. It’s not our way.”
“I didn’t mean …” What the hell was he supposed to say to her? “I don’t blame him for being upset, and I don’t want to make you or your family uncomfortable. If you’d rather, I could just …” He turned slightly, and the sign on her lawn caught his eye. His temper rose accordingly. “What the hell is that?”
“Isn’t it clear enough? I’m selling the house. I’ve decided to go back to Ireland.”
“Ireland? You think you can just pack up and move six thousand miles away?”
“Yes, I do. Boone, I’m sorry, but dinner’s nearly ready, and I really have to go in. Of course, you’re welcome to join us.”
“If you don’t stop being so bloody polite, I’m going to—” He cut himself off again. “I don’t want dinner,” he said between his teeth. “I want to talk to you.”
“This isn’t the time.”
“We’ll make it the time.”
He backed her through the doorway just as Sebastian came down the hall behind her. Placing a light hand on Ana’s shoulder, he sent Boone a warning glance. “Is there a problem here, Anastasia?”
“No. I invited Boone and Jessie for dinner, but he isn’t able to join us.”
“Pity.” Sebastian’s smile glittered with malice. “Well, then, if you’ll excuse us, Sawyer.”
Boone slammed the door behind him, causing all the ruckus inside to switch off like a light. Several pairs of eyes turned their way. He was too furious to note that Sebastian’s were now bright with amusement.
“Stay out of my way,” Boone said quietly. “Each and every one of you. I don’t care who you are, or what you are.” More than ready to fight a fleet of dragons, he grabbed Ana’s hand. “You come with me.”
“My family—”
“Can damn well wait.” He yanked her back outside.
From her perch under the Christmas tree, Jessie stared wide-eyed after them. “Is Daddy mad at Ana?”
“No.” Happy enough about what she’d seen to burst at the seams, Maureen gave the little girl a squeeze. “I think they’ve just gone off to take care of another Christmas present for you. One I think you’ll like best of all.”
* * *
Outside, Ana labored to keep up. “Stop dragging me, Boone.”
“I’m not dragging you,” he said as he dragged her through the side yard.
“I don’t want to go with you.” She felt the tears she’d thought she was finished with stinging her eyes. “I’m not going through this again.”
“You think you can put up a stupid sign in your yard and solve everything?” Guided by moonlight, he tugged her down the rock steps that led to the beach. “Drop a bombshell on my head, then take
off for Ireland?”
“I can do exactly as I please.”
“Witch or no witch, you’d better think that one over again.”
“You wouldn’t even talk to me.”
“I’m talking to you now.”
“Well, now I don’t want to talk.” She broke away and started to climb back up.
“Then you’ll listen.” He caught her around the waist and tossed her over his shoulder. “And we’re going to do this far enough from the house so that I know your family isn’t breathing down my neck.” When he reached the bottom, he flipped her over and dropped her to her feet. “One step,” he warned. “You take one step away and I’ll haul you back.”
“I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction.” She struggled with the tears, preferring temper. “You want to have your say. Fine. Then I’ll have mine as well. I accept your position on our relationship. I deeply regret you feel it necessary to keep Jessie away from me.”
“I never—”
“Don’t deny it. For days before I left for Ireland you kept her at home.” She picked up a handful of pebbles and threw them out to sea. “Wouldn’t want your little girl too near the witch, after all.” She whirled back to him. “For God’s sake, Boone, what did you expect from me? Did you see me rubbing my hands together and croaking out, ‘I’ll get you, my pretty—and your little dog, too’?”
His lips quirked at that, and he reached out, but she spun away. “Give me some credit, Ana.”
“I did. A little later than I should have, but I did. And you turned away. Just as I’d known you would.”
“Known?” Though he was getting tired of the choreography, he pulled her around again. “How did you know how I’d react? Did you look in your crystal ball, or just have your psychic cousin take a stroll through my head?”
“Neither,” she said, with what control she had left. “I wouldn’t let Sebastian look, and I didn’t look myself, because it seemed unfair. I knew you’d turn away because …”
“Because someone else had.”
“It doesn’t matter, the fact is you did turn away.”
“I just needed to take it in.”
“I saw the way you looked at me that night.” She shut her eyes. “I’ve seen that look before. Oh, you weren’t cruel like Robert. There were no names, no accusations, but the result was the same. Stay away from me and mine. I don’t accept what you are.” She wrapped her arms tight and cupped her elbows for warmth.
“I’m not going to apologize for having what I think was a very normal reaction. And damn it, Ana, I was tired, and half-crazy. Watching you lie there in bed all those hours, and you were so pale, so still. I was afraid you wouldn’t come back. When you did, I didn’t know how to treat you. Then you were telling me all of this.”
She searched for calm, knowing it was the best way. “The timing was bad all around. I wasn’t quite strong enough to deal with your feelings.”
“If you had told me before—”
“You would have reacted differently?” She glanced toward him. “No, I don’t think so. But you’re right. I should have. It was unfair, and it was weak of me to let things go as far as they did.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth, Ana. Unless you’re—what do you call it? Linked? If you’re not linked with me, you don’t know what I’m feeling. It hurt that you didn’t trust me.”
She nodded, brushing a tear from her cheek. “I know. I’m sorry.
“You were afraid?”
“I told you—I was a coward.”
He frowned, watching the hair blow around her face as she stared out at the moon-kissed sea. “Yes, you did. The night you came across my sketch. The one of the witch. That upset you.”
She shrugged. “I’m oversensitive sometimes. It was just the mood. I was …”
“About to tell me, and then I scared you off with my evil witch.”
“It seemed a difficult time to tell you.”
“Because you’re a coward,” he said mildly, watching her. “Let me ask you something, Ana. What did you do, exactly, to Jessie that day?”