by Lucinda Dark
“Can you see the stadium behind it?” Mrs. McKnight shifted her finger. “It’s newer,” she explained. “They only built it in the last thirty years or so.”
I could vaguely make out what looked to be stadium lights not far beyond the monstrosity that was the school. Her hand dropped away and I couldn’t help the sigh of relief I let out when she took a step back. I turned to face her, coming to a halt at the soft sheen of unshed tears in her eyes.
I took a step back and bumped into the windowpane without even thinking, grimacing when she smiled at me and shook her head. “I’m not going to hug you, don’t worry,” she said quietly.
“Sorry,” I said, “but yeah, no hugging is probably good. I’m not a touchy-feely kind of girl.”
“When Terra and I spoke on the phone, she said you don’t like being touched. I hope you don’t mind me asking, but is it because of…” She trailed off, her features tightening. She wanted to ask, but she didn’t want to finish the question herself.
Was it because of my parents’ deaths?
I shrugged. Getting touched just made me feel like stabbing someone. There was nothing more to it.
She sighed, clasping her hands tightly in front of her. The movement made me frown. She seemed nervous, but what did she have to be nervous about? I was the stranger here. One phone call and she could send me packing. She had all the authority, while I had … I glanced to my backpack where it lay on the bed. I had whatever power I could scrounge up and hide away.
“Listen,” she continued, “I really want you to like it here. I’m sure things are hard after … everything that’s happened, but Delvina and I were close once. We fell out of contact and that’s my fault, but I think she and your father and your brother would want you to be happy. Jon and I, we don’t want you to be afraid to come to us about anything. We’ve always wanted more children, but it never happened.” She cupped her clasped hands over her stomach, a sorrow in her tone that hurt my ears. “I hope you don’t mind if we think of you as our own now, too, Barbie. We want this to be your home if you’ll let it.”
I bit down on my tongue, tasting copper in my mouth as I jerked my head in another nod. She looked like she wanted to say more but then thought better of it. She backed up, stopping in the doorway. “I’ll have someone come let you know when dinner’s ready,” she said. “But don’t feel like you have to come down. I know this is a lot to take in. You can stay up here and get unpacked if you want, and I can bring something up later. I’ll drive you to school tomorrow to get your schedule and for the tour. You can ride with Mav until we get something else figured out. Fair warning, though, he goes in early for morning football practices.”
“Thanks.” I forced the word out and she shot me a grateful smile that I didn’t understand. Why would she feel grateful? I didn’t get the chance to ask, though, because she turned and left the room.
I waited a moment before deflating and sagging onto the mattress. The McKnights were as normal as a family could be. Mrs. McKnight was kind and caring. Her husband was quiet but no less attentive. I looked to my trash bag of clothes. Man, this sucked balls, I thought. The nicer they were, the more I might come to care for them, and really, that just wasn’t going to work for me. I almost wished they had been shitty, terrible people. At least, then I wouldn’t feel bad for what I had to do.
A sudden rush of memories assaulted me. Blood on the floor. Blood on my hands. A sword. Holy water. My mother’s unseeing eyes staring up at me from where she lay next to the couch, her throat torn open.
I squeezed my eyes closed and pressed my palms against my sockets until it hurt. It would be a horrible shame if anything were to ever happen to the McKnights. I couldn’t let my first mistake repeat itself. I had to protect them. And if that meant leaving when I turned eighteen, then it didn’t matter what they wanted—even if they wanted to keep me and love me as if I were their own—I would do what needed doing. I would protect them from the monsters in the shadows and more than that, I would protect them from me. Because there was no doubt in my mind, those monsters that had ruined my life hadn’t done so on a mere whim.
Someone had ordered the hit on my family, and I wouldn’t rest until I found out exactly who the vampire named Arrius was.
Four
Barbie
Mrs. McKnight—Beth, as she asked me to call her—drove me to St. Marion Academy the next day. I stood in the front office, staring at the white walls and checkered couches, trying to feel something other than bored. I'd never been to an actual school before, but somehow it wasn't as awe-inducing as I thought it would've been. The front office looked like the seating area for an expensive retail store. The couches and chairs were overstuffed. The paintings were in the strange unusually bland taste that showed up in all the professional offices, except these had been granted elaborate faux golden frames as if that somehow made them less boring.
While Beth stood at the counter talking with the secretary about the details she had already given her, I perused the reading collection on one of the side tables. Business magazines and Ivy League college pamphlets. I would just bet that all of the students here had bright futures. College. Boyfriends and girlfriends. Careers. Marriages. It must have been nice to have your whole life ahead of you and no dark secrets to weigh you down.
My fist tightened and I pulled away without picking up one of the glossy booklets.
“Barbie?” Beth’s voice drew me from my thoughts, and I stood abruptly as she gestured for me to step forward. “This is Pam Costella, Principal Miller’s secretary. Pam, this is my goddaughter, Barbie.”
“Hmmmm.” The older woman tilted her glasses down and observed me, scanning me up and down with hawk-like scrutiny and frowned when I could tell she found me lacking. She looked from my scuffed sneakers to my ripped jeans straight out of a second hand store to the white t-shirt turned gray from age that sagged against my stomach. “I see.” The woman turned her attention back to Beth. “And you’re sure you want to put her in the advanced senior courses?”
I snorted, but Beth ignored it as she smiled back, either uncaring or unaware of the obvious doubt in the woman’s voice. “Of course,” she said. “Barbie’s very smart. Her mother was a professor. She was taught by one of the brightest stars in my own college courses.”
I shot her a look, but she was fixated on the secretary. Pam pursed her lips and switched her narrowed eyes to me once more before sighing and then returning her focus to the computer. Her slightly gnarled fingers flew across the keyboard at lightning speed. “I’ll have her placed in advanced British Literature, Calculus Two, advanced World History, and advanced Chemistry,” she said as if that was a big concession. I didn’t quite care. It wasn’t like I’d need anything this school could teach me. “That still leaves her with two open slots.”
“What about study hall?” Beth suggested, looking to me for confirmation.
I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter to me,” I said.
“Hmmmmm.” My gaze shot to the secretary once more.
“Something in your throat?” I asked pleasantly.
She narrowed her eyes on me, but before she could reply, Beth cut in. “What about one of the physical education classes?” Beth asked.
Pam nodded. “Yes, that’ll do.” She typed in the last class and then the whirring of the printer at her back started up. Ripping the paper from the machine as it spat it out, the secretary turned and slapped it on the countertop just as the door behind us opened. “Good,” Pam said, nodding to whoever it was. I turned as a thin brunette with wide set eyes and slim cheeks stopped before the counter. “Mrs. McKnight, this is Janessa Bales, she’s one of our student ambassadors. I’ve called her here to give the two of you a tour—”
“Oh, I won’t need a tour,” Beth said, interrupting the woman. “I’ve been all over this school for Mav’s football games.” She laughed, turning to me. “But you go on ahead with her, dear. I’ll be in the car making some phone calls. Come out when you’re done, and we’
ll go school clothes shopping.”
“I don’t need—” I started, but she wasn’t listening to me.
“Thanks again, Pam!” she called back as she waved goodbye to the secretary and sailed out of the office.
I huffed out a breath. “Don’t worry, I don’t bite,” the girl at my side said, sending me a polite smile.
“I should hope not,” I replied. Because if she did, then I’d have to stake her.
She sent me an odd look but moved back to the door that Beth had exited. “So, where are you coming in from?” she asked as she led me down the front hallway.
“Nowhere special,” I hedged.
“Are you Mrs. McKnight’s niece or something?” she asked.
“Or something,” I said with a tight smile as she gestured down a hallway.
She frowned and shook her head. “That’s the freshman wing,” she said, striding forward. “So, if you’re not her niece, what are you?”
I lifted a brow and eyed her. “Does it matter?”
Her lips firmed and she turned away. It was clear, though, that I’d made my point. I didn’t want to talk about myself and she didn’t ask anymore throughout the tour.
I slowed to a stop as we passed by a wall of glass windows on the second floor. It looked like it led into the largest library I’d ever seen, even bigger than the ones I’d been to as a kid. “Do you want to take a look inside?” Janessa asked. I shrugged, but she went for the door anyway, holding it open for me. I passed through and glanced up, stopping between the book detectors when a shadow fell over me. I paused and so did the man trying to leave. Behind me, I heard Janessa squeak. “Oh, hi, Torin,” she said, sighing.
I arched one brow as Janessa lifted a hand to her hair and twirled a strand of it around one finger as she peeked up through her lashes. Turning back to the man she was obviously attracted to, I eyed him up and down. Wide shoulders, the scraped shadow of beard growth, and eyes the color of green electricity—almost neon in their brightness. His lips twitched into a smirk. Yeah, he was attractive. And that fact only made me frown harder.
“Hi, Jan, who’s this?”
“Oh, this is Barbie.” Janessa waved her hand at me. “She’s new.”
“Giving her the tour?” he asked.
“Yeah, would you like to join us?” She sounded breathless. I shot her an irritated glance.
Torin shook his head, but that smirk only lifted a bit more when he noticed my scowl. “Nah, I gotta head back to class. It was good seeing you though. Do you mind if I get through?”
“Oh, of course no—”
“Why don’t you back up and let us through and then you can get out?” I asked.
“Barbie!” Janessa gasped.
I turned back. “What?”
Whatever she had been about to say, however, was cut off by Torin’s dark chuckle. “Sure thing, Barbie.”
I whipped my head around again and narrowed my eyes. He seemed amused as he stepped back and gestured grandly for us to come forward. I strode past, avoiding him when I stepped to the side and Janessa hurried up to my side, nearly plowing into me in her bid to get out of Torin’s way as fast as she could.
“Sorry, Torin,” she said, blushing.
“It’s no problem.” He shook his head.
Janessa giggled apprehensively and stayed nearby, suggesting that there was something else she wanted to ask and not a moment later, she proved my assumption correct. “Are you still having that party this Friday?”
It wasn’t the question so much as his immediate physical response that confused me. Torin’s lips pressed together sharply before he schooled his features into a polite facade. “Yeah, after the game. Are you coming?”
Whatever noise that escaped her lips must have given him the answer he needed—though I didn’t know how he could have interpreted the high pitched sigh-gasp-squeak hybrid that escaped her—because he nodded. “Cool. I’ll … ah … see you there.” He started for the door again. As he went, our gazes met. A bolt of heat hit my nerve endings and sent boiling warmth down my spine. I tensed, waiting to see what he would do, wanting to know if he had felt the same.
But he did nothing. He didn’t even pause as he strode out of the library and down the hallway without looking back. I stared after him, focusing hard and watching as the ripple of sunlight moved over his uncovered face and arms. Seeing that, I relaxed and turned away.
“Okay, so, first thing you definitely need to know,” Janessa announced. “That guy—that’s Torin Priest. And if you ever run into him again, you can’t talk to him like that.”
I tilted my head to the side, trying to figure out if she was serious or not. From the set of her shoulders and the hands on her hips, she seemed perfectly resolute.
“Why not?”
Her mouth opened, but no words came out and she blinked a few times before shaking her head. “Because you just can’t.”
“If you don’t give me a reason, then I’m just going to treat him like I would anyone else,” I pointed out.
“He’s not just ‘anyone else,’” she said, lifting her fingers to emphasize her air quotes as she glared at me. “Torin Priest is richer than God. Well, his family is. And his sister is kind of scary. But he’s like … The King of St. Marion. You don’t want to get on his bad side.”
“Why?” I asked again.
“Because he could ruin you,” she snapped. “Just do yourself a favor and avoid him.”
“You don’t seem too keen on avoiding him,” I said with a raised brow. In fact, she had looked ready to prostrate herself before him and kiss the tops of his worn boots. It was odd, he hadn't dressed like he was richer than God. He'd been dressed like an average person.
“Yeah, well, I’m smart enough to know how to handle someone like him,” she replied, flipping her hair.
I bit back a laugh as she turned and started through the library. “Smart,” I muttered. “Yeah, that’s what that was.”
If she heard me or didn’t, she never replied and we finished up the rest of the tour rather quickly. Janessa led me back to the first floor of the building, pointed to a door that would lead me out into the parking lot where Beth would be waiting, and then headed off to her next class with another flip of her hair.
Shaking my head, I pushed against the doors and headed out into the slightly chilled late autumn air. Beth was waiting in her white Range Rover just like she said she would be with a phone pressed to her ear and a tablet in her lap.
“Yes, I’ll get that sent to the office later. Gotta go, my girl’s back. I’ll talk to you later, Joan. Thanks for taking care of that for me. Bye.”
I hopped in and buckled my seatbelt as Beth reached forward and started the car. “How was it?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Fine. It’s a school,” I said absently.
“I thought we could go over to the outlet mall. They’ve got some good shops.” She put the car in reverse.
I rested my head back against the car seat. “I don’t need clothes. I have enough.”
After a moment, I noticed she hadn’t backed up and I flicked a glance her way and widened my eyes. Beth had her fingers locked so tightly on the steering wheel that the skin over her knuckles was white. Her eyes flashed in desperate pain. “Barbie…” she started, swallowing around a thick throat. I stared at her in horror. Beth’s eyes were misty as if she were on the verge of tears. I didn’t know what I would do if she started crying.
“What?” I asked, hoping she’d take my fast reply as a signal to hold the tears at bay.
“I know,” she said, “about what happened to your stuff.” A buzz jackknifed through my spine. “Even if you were in foster care, the group home, for the last six months, they should’ve still given you as much time as you needed to gather your clothes before you left your home.” I avoided her searching gaze, flipping my focus to the windshield. “But there was nothing left.”
“Fine, we can go clothes shopping,” I said, hoping against hope that she’d drop the su
bject. If she started crying, she’d have to lock me in the car to keep me there.
“A lot of people grow attached to their things. The clothes they wear. Their journals. Their books and games. There’s so much you don’t have now, and I want to give you a chance to find new things. Things that you can grow attached to again.”
I closed my eyes with a grimace, but it only made the memories that much worse. They assaulted me from every angle. Flashes of a gas can in my hand, lighting the match that had burned down the only home I’d ever known along with the bodies of the three people who had loved me unconditionally—Mom, Dad, and Brandon.
“It’s just stuff,” I said uncomfortably.
“Jon told me I should wait,” Beth admitted quietly, “but I can’t. Barbie, it’s okay if you want to see someone about everything you’ve endured. I know you’re short with me because you’re uncomfortable. I know you’re scared, but there’s no reason for you to be.”
“I’m not scared.” It wasn’t a lie. I really wasn’t scared. In fact, I doubted anything would ever scare me again. I’d faced my greatest fear—losing my family—and come out on the other side. And though I wouldn’t call what I did living, I had to admit that my heart was still beating and blood still pumped through my veins. That night had been the worst of my life and perhaps it might have destroyed me had it not also given me a purpose to continue on.
I let my eyes glide open once more. “I’m really fine, Beth,” I replied, my voice odd to my own ears. It was as though the words were spoken by someone else. I couldn’t feel any emotion on my face, but my voice sounded content and gratified when I knew I was anything but. “I appreciate all that you’re doing for me, and I’m happy to go clothes shopping. I’m just not used to the attention anymore.”