Aiden smiles and proffers his hand. “Hey, man. Nice to meet you.”
Ross shifts the cricket to free one of his hands so he can take Aiden’s. “Yeah! You too!”
Chirp.
The noise from the cricket brings my attention back to it, and I point. “Oh, Aiden, Ross can enlarge bugs. They’re his specialty.”
Ross grins. “Well, actually, I can enlarge anything, but I do it the most with insects, since I’m studying entomology.”
Aiden nods with a hint of approval. “That’s definitely a cool way to make good use of your abilities. Can you shrink them back? Or are there gigantic bugs running around out there that I need to worry about?”
“Ha! Yeah, I can, but just back to their normal size.”
I remember the other day with Ross and Glinda. “I actually helped him scout the lake for bugs earlier in the week. It was …” I squirm at the memory of a giant water bug flying at me. “Fun?”
Ross’s hand gently touches my arm, and he laughs. “It was! When I enlarged that water strider, I thought you were going to die!”
I chuckle. “Oh, I was about to. It was so creepy!”
Chirp.
Ross removes his hand to get a better grip on the cricket. “Well, Em, I’m going to head to my room with this guy.” He lifts the cricket a little higher while grinning mischievously. “Hopefully, he doesn’t wake up my roommate.”
Chirp.
“Good luck!” I say with a tight smile. “Let me know how that goes.”
Ross’s lips curl. “I will.” He regards Aiden. “Aiden, it was nice to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you around campus?”
“Yeah. Sure.” A chill drenches the air with Aiden’s response.
I notice him focusing at the night sky, his jaw clenched.
Chirp.
Ross is oblivious to the sudden arctic blast and waves enthusiastically as he leaves. “Night, you guys! I’ll see you in class, Em!”
I give a quick wave back. “Night, Ross!” I lightly tug on Aiden’s arm. “Hey, what’s going on in that head of yours?”
He turns from me. “Let’s get you to your room. It’s getting late.”
My heart petrifies as I watch him go. “Aiden?”
He doesn’t stop, and the farther he gets, the more it pulls at my heart.
“Hey! Aiden! Stop! What’s going on with you?”
His back rises like he’s taking a deep breath. “It’s nothing, Ember. I just want to make sure you get to your room okay.”
I shake my head and take a few quick steps. “No. I know that’s not it! Be honest with me!”
“It’s not that easy.” He turns to face me. His blue eyes shine almost as intensely as the moon behind him.
My frustration grows immensely. “Why isn’t it? What happened? We had a great evening together. I don’t understand the sudden change in your attitude.”
He runs his hand through his hair and exhales a long breath. “I just … can’t. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what? What does that even mean?”
His hand shoots out in front of him. “I can’t be this close to you! Don’t you get it? We shouldn’t be hanging out like this together!”
I glance at the adorable moose dressed as a pirate in my hand, suddenly confused by what it represents. “You’re making no sense, Aiden. I thought we’ve gone through this? Do you not want to be friends?”
He rubs his forehead and sighs loudly. “No, that’s not it. It’s just … between Johnny and Ross, and … the way they looked at you.” He hunches forward and drops his hand. “One day, you’ll say yes to some guy—someone who can be there for you and treat you the way you deserve.” A tear sparkles in the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry. I-I just can’t do it anymore. I thought I could, but I can’t.”
My throat feels taut. “I-I don’t understand.”
He wipes away the tear. “It’s … complicated.”
I should be angry with him, but my heart breaks at the sight of him.
Sadness tugs on his eyes, and shadows on his face age him, like he has dealt with more than someone near twenty should have.
I still don’t know a lot about him, and I desperately want to know everything. “Aiden, just … just talk to me,” I say a little gentler.
“Ember, I want to. I just …” He makes a choking noise, and more tears fall. “I don’t know what to do.”
I squeeze the stuffed moose for some reassurance. “Do … do you think I don’t feel the same as you do? Is that what this is about?”
He sniffles and rubs his eyes. “Ember, listen. We don’t need to do this. I just … overreacted. I’m sorry.”
I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to act like this evening didn’t happen and ignore the fact that Aiden cares for me more than he lets on. I take a quiet breath, cementing my confidence, and go to him. I drop the stuffed animal at my feet and reach for Aiden, taking his arms to circle them around me.
He takes an unsteady breath, but his fingers press into my back, securing his hold on me.
I gingerly lay my hands on his solid chest, feeling the definition of his muscles under his thin black button-up.
His eyes are crystal blue, like the waters around a tropic island, and I drown in the sight of them.
“Aiden, you have to know that you are the only one I want to say yes to.”
His smile could make a glacier melt. “Really?”
Relief engulfs me at finally being honest with him. “Yes.”
He caresses the side of my face, and a spark tickles my cheek.
I close my eyes, getting lost in his touch.
Our foreheads come together, and his breath teases my lips. “Ember, you don’t understand how badly I want to kiss you, but—”
My lips give him no choice.
It’s not like I’ve kissed many guys in my life, but I can’t imagine any other man’s touch to affect me like Aiden’s. A new kind of warmth flows through me, and I press myself against him. His lips are as smooth as satin, and our kiss grows more passionate. We both moan, and he holds me tighter. My heart pounds wildly like it’s about to explode out of my chest. All I want is him. His lips, his touch—
Aiden breaks away, his cheeks flushed. “Ember,” he says breathlessly, “we … we can’t do this.”
I can’t catch my breath, and my heart plummets. “What?”
“I want to.” His stare is intense, and his ears turn pink matching his cheeks. “I want you more than you will ever realize, but that shouldn’t have happened.” He releases me and steps away, a sudden chill elopes me. “We—we can’t be together.”
My lungs struggle for a breath. “This really doesn’t change anything between us, does it?”
He slowly shakes his head. “No. I’m sorry.”
My body tenses, like a wounded animal ready to pounce. “Just explain to me why doesn’t it? Is this about your training? That you won’t have time for me? Don’t you get it? I would support you! I would never try to take you away from your dreams!”
Aiden stays still as a statue and silence fills the void between us
My anger grows, covering the itch of rejection. “Fine, Aiden! Don’t give me an explanation! I tell you I want to be with you, and this is how you’re going to react?”
His lips pinch together, and he remains quiet. But his eyes reflect his turmoil, that he wants to tell me something, but for some reason won’t.
“Fine! Push me away again! You’re good at that!” I say loud enough that everyone in the student center probably hears me. “Don’t worry. I’ll make this easier for you!” I take off. I refuse to stay here and talk to a wall.
“Ember! Let me walk you to your room at least! It’s late. You shouldn’t be out here by yourself.”
It’s hard for me to ignore the heartache in his voice. “No, Aiden. I want to be alone right now. You may have protected me once, but I don’t need you to do that again.”
He rushes in front of me; his eyes sparkle with how wet they are. “Ember,
I’m—”
“No!” I put out my hand to act as a barrier between us. A couple tears escape down my cheeks. “No. No more apologies.”
His head falls. “I’ve done it, haven’t I?” he mutters. “Finally pushed you away?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted? What else did you expect?”
He lifts his head; tears roll down his face. “I-I don’t know.”
I say the words before I even register what I’m saying. “I guess it’s always the people you love who hurt you the most, huh?”
Aiden’s eyes widen, and his mouth drops open.
My stomach does a somersault. Something Johnny said now makes complete sense; I am in love with Aiden. Embarrassment and panic soar through my blood. I don’t know what to do, so I run. I run away from Aiden and from all the unsaid things between us.
Chapter 29
Aiden
Ember doesn’t look at me as I set the pirate moose on her desk in our English class, his red- and white-striped shirt now dirty from where she dropped it on Saturday. My hands feel clammy. “Hey … you left this.”
Still no movement. She doesn’t take her eyes off whatever she’s looking at outside the window.
“I named him One-eyed Moosi.” I chuckle lamely.
Her chin locks in place, like she’s gritting her teeth.
“Ember …” I say trying to hide the fact my heart is tearing in two. “Please … talk to me.”
Only her eyes move, and they swirl like the eyes of two storms, reflecting her molten core.
I slide into my seat in front of her, accepting there’s no easy way for us to come back from what happened. The memory of her against me, her full lips tangled with mine, and her remark implying she loves me is too much for me to handle. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. How can I stay away from her, when all I want is to have her back in my arms?
“Good morning, class.” Professor Souris shuffles into the room dressed in a yellow and green plaid dress, and her hair is in a tight bun.
A tall man wearing a lab coat follows behind her.
I stare at him starstruck, it’s The Regenerator. He’s always been one of my favorite Guardians! I scan the room and notice more than half the students are staring at him the same way I am.
Professor Souris heads for the back of the room toward the bookshelves. “Just give me a moment, class! We’ll begin soon!”
The Regenerator surveys the room, his hair shimmering blue in the sunlight. He smiles and heads in my direction. My heart pounds loudly in my ears. Is he coming to talk to me?
He waves at someone behind me. “Ember! Hey!”
My body relaxes with both relief and disappointment. Of course, he would know Ember.
“Oh, hi, Erik,” Ember replies happily.
Wait a second, did she say, Erik?
I spin around to see Ember’s emerald-colored eyes shining brightly at him. “What are you doing here?”
“You never told me Erik is The Regenerator!” I accuse her quietly.
Ember’s eyes flare with a hint of annoyance, but she ignores me, staying focused on Erik.
The Regenerator stops next to her. “Oh, well, Professor Souris and I were having breakfast the other day when I mentioned a book I wanted to read. Turns out, she has it and agreed to let me take it off her hands for a little bit.” He notices me staring at him and tilts his head with his eyes squinched up. “You look familiar … but I don’t think you’re in any of my classes.”
“Who? Me?” I point to myself and glance over my shoulder to confirm no one else is there. “No. I’m not, but I am in the Defender program.”
He nods with a hint of a smile. “Very impressive. What’s your name?”
“Aiden … Aiden Stiles.”
Both eyebrows raise. “So, you’re Aiden. Aren’t you the one who was with Ember when”—he bends a little closer—“the incident happened?”
“Yes. He was.” Ember’s tone is harsh, like she wished I wasn’t there in the first place.
I grimace, and fire teases the irises of her eyes.
Erik chuckles and straightens his posture. “Well, it seems like you two are getting along well.”
“Here you go, Erik.” Professor Souris walks up beside The Regenerator and hands him a book with a picture of a cyclops for the cover. “Now please, return this one as I gave it to you. Not with a hole in the middle of it because of some science experiment.”
He smirks and takes it from her. “Now, Genievere, I won’t make promises I can’t keep. If something happens, I’ll replace it just like I did the previous five.”
She sighs and pushes her oversized round glasses onto the bridge of her nose. “You’re lucky I remember these books from beginning to end so I don’t get too upset when you damage them … but still, it would be nice to just get them back in one piece for once.”
“What are you borrowing?” Ember asks.
The Regenerator puts the book under his arm. “Oh, a book about some mythological gods. I’m a sucker for such stories,” he says with a shrug. “But I better go so you can start your class, Genievere. Still up for dinner with the gang this weekend?”
She nods. “Sure thing. Call me later and we can discuss plans.”
“I’ll see you later, Ember.” The Regenerator pats her shoulder then focuses on me with a genuine smile. “And it was nice to meet you, Aiden.”
“Yeah … you … you too,” I stutter like an excited six-year-old kid.
“Bye, Erik,” Ember says.
Professor Souris walks with Erik toward the door and I eye Ember. “That’s really cool you’re friends with The Regenerator.”
“This doesn’t mean we’re talking again just because Erik talked to you, Aiden.” Her eyes light up like a wildfire. “Leave me alone. You’ve made it clear where you stand.”
My heart bounces into my throat. “Ember … please—”
Professor Souris clears her throat. “Okay, class, let’s start by discussing the assignment from last night.”
Not even five seconds after Professor Souris gives us our next homework assignment and dismisses class, Ember darts out the door before anyone else gets a chance to move.
She won’t get away from me that easy, even if I may be running a fool’s errand. I grab my bookbag and bolt after her into the crowded hallway. “Ember, wait!”
She quickens her pace, darting between students to put more space between us. Her red hair flows wildly behind her.
I bump into a few people, determined to catch up with her. “Ember! Please! Wait!” I get close enough to grab her shoulder. “Ember! Don’t run away from me. Let’s talk.”
She jerks away her shoulder and whips around. “Oh! Now you want to talk? Too bad! You had your chance on Saturday!”
I notice a couple students eyeing us as they walk by and whisper to each other.
“I know I did, and I’m sorry that I didn’t,” I say a little more softly.
Her eyes shimmer, like they’re about to burst into flames. “I don’t want your apology! Our whole friendship is full of them, and I am tired of them!”
Shame pulls down my entire body. “I know.”
“I can’t do it anymore.” She shakes her head while biting her bottom lip. “It hurts too much.”
“Ember, I don’t want to lose you over this.”
She sniffles, and a tear drips to the ground. “If that’s the case, why aren’t you being honest with me? What did you expect to happen?”
I swallow hard. My own heartbreak threatens to take over, to turn me into some kind of blubbering mess. “I-I don’t know.”
“Aiden, I won’t stand here and convince you we should be together. If that’s what you are hoping to get from me, you won’t get it. I don’t know what you’re hiding from me, but you’re clearly not being honest about something. I can’t keep acting like it’s okay.”
Her words pinch me, but they’re heavy in truth. “I understand.” My voice cracks.
“Really? That
’s all you are going to say?”
I stay quiet, not knowing what else I can do. Clearly trying to save our friendship won’t be possible without telling her anything more.
More tears fall down her face. “Of course, it is.” She looks down, like she’d rather talk to the floor than me. “I think you already know I don’t want to have lunch with you today, or any day soon. It’ll be best if we don’t see each other for a while. It’ll make it easier.” She hurriedly wipes her eyes. “We only have to worry about class, but I can see if I can move seats.”
I step toward her. The desire to wrap my arms around her again and hold her like the way I did on Saturday is potent. “Ember—”
“No, Aiden. We’re done here.” She steps backward and practically runs from me.
I suddenly forget how to walk or breathe. Seeing her rush away from me again shatters my heart. The image of her running away from me on Saturday flashes in my mind. I desperately wanted to go after her, to find out if I understood her comment correctly. Does she love me? Do I love her? Can we ever make any kind of relationship between us work? What are we destined to be to each other?
Ember halts at the top of the stairs and spins around. Her stare is firm, and she takes a deep breath. “If you ever decide you’re ready to tell me the truth, come find me.” Then she’s gone, disappearing down the stairs.
If only she knew that even if I’m honest with her, I’d still probably lose her.
Chapter 30
Aiden
“C’mon, Aiden, drop the forcefield!” Lewis yells.
I surge more energy to my blue sparkly wall between us. “No way! I’m not becoming your personal pin cushion, Lewis! I may have said I would use them sparingly, but that was before all these cuts!” I grimace at the bleeding streaks on my forearms.
Lewis looks like an angry glass porcupine, ready to strike again with his glass shards. “That’s not fair! You’re too overpowered with those things! It’ll just be a waste of time practicing against you now. I can’t pierce that thing!”
I shrug. “Hey, they’re part of my abilities just as much as your glass skin is part of yours. What would you do if you fought a villain who could block you like this?”
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