“Don’t you growl at me, you mangy mutt!” Malcolm yelled at the black Lab. “I’ll kick you to kingdom come.”
JuJu knew he was drunk and would give anything to be invisible at the moment. Instead, she accidentally dropped the basket of eggs she’d just collected.
“You are so stupid and clumsy! Look what you did.”
“I’m sorry, Daddy! I didn’t mean to! Honest.”
Malcolm Ready’s hand whipped across her cheek with a sharp whack. Stunned, JuJu didn’t realize at first she’d been hit. Then she felt the burn. Her eyes watered despite her best efforts. Tears only made him madder. She knelt down to pick up the basket, letting her hair fall to hide her face.
“Malcolm! What are you doing? Did you slap that child? Don‘t you ever do that, you hear? I will call the sheriff. Don’t you think I won’t.” Jean Ready pointed a defiant, angry finger at her son.
“She needs discipline, Mama. She don’t get none from Martha, and she don’t get none from you. Y‘all just spoil her. Spoiled rotten is what she is.” Malcolm staggered slightly as he turned towards his mother standing on the screened porch clutching a dish towel with a tight fist.
“Go on home, Malcolm. I won’t put up with your nonsense over here. You oughta know that by now. One more time, and I’m calling Sheriff Dan.” Jean Ready glared at her son. Malcolm glanced at JuJu still on the ground picking up broken egg shells. He muttered again, “Spoiled rotten,” and shuffled back to his truck. Revving the engine as loud as he could, Malcolm threw the Dodge in gear and roared down the driveway, leaving clouds of dust in his wake.
Jean threw the dish towel across her shoulder and hurried down the steps to where her grandchild sat in the dirt, tears leaving dusty trails on her face, small fists clenched in her lap.
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry,” Grandma Jean said tenderly, gathering the girl into her arms. “I wish I could fix it for you. I wish I could.”
JuJu wrapped her arms tightly around her grandmother’s thin frame, clinging to her. Although in her seventies, Jean was strong and feisty enough to stand up to her bully of a son. A son who, unfortunately, did not take after his own father. Jean could not figure what caused her only child to be good for nothing. He could be successful. He’d been an officer in the army and held a steady job at the local textile factory after that, but he took to hanging out at the pool hall and drinking too much. He still worked at the factory but was demoted because of absences and careless, sloppy work. He blamed everything on others, of course. Nothing was ever Malcolm’s fault. He lost his temper because other people irritated him; he drank because Martha wasn’t the kind of wife she should be.
Jean sighed and lifted JuJu to her feet.
“Don’t worry about the eggs, baby. Just leave it. We need some pie with a little whipped cream on it, don’t you think?”
Pie solved everything, according to Jean Emma Ready. Pie and prayer.
She wiped JuJu’s face with the towel, took her hand, and led her up the old wooden steps, through the screened porch, and into the kitchen.
“Go on and sit down. I’ll get the pie and whipped cream.”
JuJu sniffed. Grandma Jean’s pie couldn’t solve everything, but it sure helped.
“Grandma Jean, why is Daddy so mean? I hate him!”
Jean stopped, knife in midair over the apple pie. It wasn’t the first time the child asked that question, but it was the first time she asked in anger. Usually, Jean was able to distract JuJu and move on to something else. This time she felt some kind of answer was in order. She finished cutting two slices of pie, added the topping, and carried them to the table. Before sitting down, she poured two glasses of milk and set one at each plate. She looked at her granddaughter whose emerald eyes still glistened with unshed tears, a mixture of sadness and hatred on her sweet face. Jean sighed.
“Don’t ever hate anybody, sweetheart. I know how you feel, but hate just eats you up inside and has no effect on the other person. Your daddy wasn’t always like this. When he was a boy, he was so good and helpful, always on your grandpa’s heels, wanting to do whatever he was doing. Your grandpa had to watch him like a hawk, so he didn’t get hurt. He wasn’t careful like he ought to be out in the barn and the stable. He wasn’t a good student like you, either.”
“He wasn’t? Do you mean I’m smarter?”
Jean continued, “He did not like school at all, not at all. It was a chore to get him to do his homework, I can tell you that, but we felt it was so important for him to get a proper education. We wanted him to do better than what we did, you know, farming? It’s hard work. You’re old enough now to see that, aren’t you?”
JuJu nodded, mouth full of pie. She knew how hard her grandmother worked. She had to hire part-time help to keep things going when JuJu’s grandpa, Will, died. JuJu didn’t really remember him, but from pictures all over the house and her grandmother’s stories, she felt like she did. Her favorite photo was of him holding her as a baby.
“So, what happened? Is it because I don’t behave and mess up so much?”
Jean set her fork down and looked at the precious child across from her. “It’s not you, darlin’. I think it was the war. Your daddy just came back different somehow. Irritable and short-tempered. I know he must have seen some terrible things over there, but he never talks about it. It just breaks my heart to see what he’s become. And how he treats you and your mama.” Jean’s voice cracked.
She took a minute to compose herself before continuing. The happy sound of birds chirping outside the kitchen window belied the heaviness in the room. A grandfather clock in the front parlor loudly chimed the hour, and Jean pushed a loose strand of white hair behind her ear, hand trembling.
“I was surprised when he and your mama said they were going to adopt. I know your mama wanted so much to have a baby, but your daddy wasn’t someone I thought would do well with a child. Sadly, I think I was right about that.” She teared up again as she looked at JuJu. “But I’m sure glad they did. I can’t imagine my life without you, baby girl. You give this old woman something to live for.” The tears flowed freely this time as she reached across the table for JuJu’s hand. They smiled at each other through their shared pain.
“Things will get better, honey, you just wait and see.” Jean hoped she wasn’t telling a lie.
Chapter 4
1964
JuJu let the screen door slam behind her, a clear message she was not listening to her mother. She skipped down the steps and hurried to the waiting car at the end of the short gravel drive. Ricky sat with his right arm draped lazily across the back of the seat, left hand resting on the top of the steering wheel, holding a cigarette dangerously close to dropping its ashes in his lap. Slamming the car door and scooting across the bench seat, JuJu planted a big kiss on Ricky’s lips, fully aware her mother was watching from the living room window.
“So, babe, what are we doing tonight?” JuJu asked coyly.
“Well,” Ricky drawled, “that kiss was a good start for me, know what I mean?” His sky-blue eyes moved over her slowly, and JuJu was glad for the white short-shorts and the cute sleeveless top she was wearing.
“Okay, mister, don’t you start. We’ve gone over this before.” JuJu positioned herself comfortably in the middle of the seat and pulled Ricky’s arm around her shoulders as he maneuvered the car with his left hand. He glanced at her briefly but said nothing as he pulled out onto the highway. The big V-8 in his ‘57 Chevy roared to life as he stomped on the gas pedal and headed towards town.
Ten minutes later, they pulled into the SnoCap drive-in and joined the ten or so other cars rolling through the parking lot, craning their necks to see and be seen. After two loops around, they pulled into a space to order. Ricky pushed the call button and asked for two Coke floats. It wasn’t long before a cute, perky carhop appeared, attaching a plastic tray to the car window. Ricky handed her money and watched as she skated off, short skirt flipping from side to side as her long, shapely legs
carried her away.
“Do you think her legs are prettier than mine?” JuJu asked around her straw as she slurped.
“Why do you always ask that? I’m just looking. I’m a guy. That’s what we do.” Ricky sounded irritated, but he turned to her and placed his right hand on her thigh. “Besides, don’t you wear these shorts because you want me to look?” He winked and wiggled his eyebrows up and down.
“Yes, but I want you to look at me, not anybody else!” JuJu moved his hand away.
“Jeez, JuJu, cool it. Hey, you know how I feel about you, baby,” Ricky whispered and leaned over to nuzzle her ear. “Let’s get out of here, and I’ll show you.”
JuJu snuggled closer and said, “Promise to behave, okay?”
“Uh-huh,” Ricky responded as he started the car and backed slowly out. Most of the other cars were gone by now, and both knew where they’d gone. Cemetery Hill, the favorite place for parking. They’d been there before, but JuJu felt nervous. Something about Ricky’s demeanor was different tonight. She hoped he wasn’t going to be mad at her again. She told him before she was not “that kind of girl.” However, her willingness to engage in heavy petting sent mixed signals.
Ricky parked the car, reached under his seat, and pulled out a small brown paper bag. He rolled the top down just enough to expose the cap of the liquor bottle, then leaned into the back to grab a bottle of Coke from a cooler. Popping the bottle cap, he drank a long swallow of the carbonated beverage, then unscrewed the top from the liquor bottle.
Carefully holding the two, he poured a small amount of the caramel-colored whiskey into the Coke and gently swirled it around. He grabbed another Coke and handed it to JuJu.
“Well, is tonight the night?” Ricky asked as he waggled the liquor bottle in front of her, the challenge clear in his voice.
“Ricky, you know how I feel about drinking. Where did you get that, anyway?”
“From my old man’s stash, where else?” Ricky laughed and turned up the whiskey bottle, taking a sip and turning his blue gaze on her.
JuJu said nothing but turned her head to gaze out the open window. The warm breeze blew through the car. She could see cigarette smoke drifting from a car parked several yards away.
Moaning noises came from yet another. No one worried about privacy out here. There was an unspoken rule that you did not approach a car unannounced. JuJu felt Ricky’s hand on her bare arm. Turning, she saw the desire in his eyes. It made her feel good. Like she was important.
“Look, babe, just because your old man can’t hold his liquor doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it. It doesn’t mean you can’t loosen up and enjoy yourself for once.” His expression was defiant. It represented how she felt most of the time. He continued, “Just relax and forget about your old man. Besides, I think you’re beautiful and that’s what counts, right?”
“You do?” JuJu asked in wonder.
“Are you kidding? Have you looked in a mirror? You’re way prettier than any of those snooty cheerleaders.” Ricky took another swig from his Coke and again held up the liquor bottle. JuJu hesitated then handed her drink to Joey.
“Just a little bit, okay?” JuJu smiled self-consciously.
“No problem, I don’t want you to pass out on me,” Ricky said and laughed.
**************************************************
“Ricky, no, stop,” JuJu mumbled. She could hardly breathe with his weight pressing against her. She attempted to push him away.
“Oh, baby, don’t. I want you so bad.” He panted.
“I know, but we can’t do this,” JuJu whispered without much conviction. She felt giddy, excited, and scared all at the same time, but his words triggered something in her.
Ricky shifted his weight and moved his hand. JuJu gasped. “I love you,” he said, and her walls collapsed.
Chapter 5
Present Day
JuJu fought tears as she remembered that night. Oh, Lord, I was so foolish. I just wanted to be loved. Grandma Jean loved me, but somehow it wasn’t enough. I broke her heart.
JuJu thought back to the conversation with her grandmother about the “the birds and the bees” and laughed out loud. Her mother’s attempt at explaining the ways of men and women fell far short of helping JuJu understand anything, so she had, of course, sought her grandmother’s advice.
1960
Twelve-year-old JuJu sat at the kitchen table drawing while her grandmother peeled potatoes. White hair pulled into a low ponytail, Jean wore a flowered apron, one of many things she made. She was also an amazing cook, and JuJu ate with her whenever she could. Grandma Jean would always cook for her when she came over, like it was no trouble at all.
“Grandma Jean, can I ask you a question?” JuJu spoke quickly before she lost her nerve.
“Of course, baby girl, you can ask me anything,” Jean replied over her shoulder.
JuJu glanced towards the stove where the oil was heating for the fried chicken. There was nothing in the world like her grandmother’s fried chicken. Nothing. Her mouth watered.
“What is the one thing that boys are only after?”
The knife her grandmother was holding clattered into the sink. JuJu watched her put down the half-peeled potato and reach over to turn off the stove.
“Child, where in the world did you hear that?”
“From Mama,” JuJu answered innocently. “Every time she sees me talking to a boy she tells me to stay away from them because they’re only after one thing. I asked her what thing, and she told me to hush and stop asking questions. She’s always telling me to do stuff, but she won’t tell me why.”
“You haven’t started your monthly flow yet, have you, sweetheart?” Jean was sure JuJu would have told her, but she asked anyway. They had a conversation several months ago about how a woman’s body prepared for having a baby but nothing further. Jean had opted to defer that discussion, not wanting to usurp Martha’s position as mother.
“No, ma’am,” JuJu replied, “but Mama did buy me some pads after I told her that you had explained it to me. And that funny little thing that goes around your waist. I asked one of my friends at school, though, how it worked. I knew I could ask you, Grandma Jean, but I thought you might have forgot by now.”
Jean laughed out loud at her granddaughter’s youthful honesty. “I haven’t forgot, young lady, but I’m quite sure things changed a little bit over the years. Asking your friend was a good idea.”
JuJu’s eyes grew wider and wider as she listened to her grandmother explain about “the birds and the bees.” It sounded rather gross and not the least bit desirous. She was not looking forward to any of that. Not at all.
“JuJu, what I want you to understand above all is this. When the good Lord made man and woman, he made them to love each other and to have children. One of the ways they show that love is physical. I know it doesn’t sound very appealing to you right now, but there will come a time that you will have that kind of feeling towards a young man.”
JuJu made a face.
Jean smiled and continued, “The important thing to remember is only give yourself to your husband. Your virginity is something you only have one time, and it’s supposed to be a gift for the man you marry. It’s a treasure you need to protect. When your mama says boys are only after one thing, she’s right about a lot of them. Boys, and men, too, will often be sexually aggressive. They don’t want to wait, so they try to persuade young women to let them have their way before marriage. That is not God’s plan, and I want you to remember God’s plan is always best. A young woman who gives herself away before marriage will get a bad reputation, and, even worse, she might find herself carrying a child without a husband. JuJu, I want you to promise me you will never do that. It will be difficult, but you must not put yourself in a position to be compromised in that way. You have a bright future, and I don’t want to see you throw that away in the back seat of some sweet-talking boy’s car. Promise me, JuJu. This is so important. Will you promise me?”<
br />
“I promise, Grandma Jean.” JuJu solemnly took her grandmother’s hand.
Chapter 6
September 1964
“Hey, Ricky, where’ve you been?” JuJu stopped in front of the water fountain and shifted her books to one side.
Ricky jumped at the sound of her voice and spit water on the floor. He looked nervously around the crowded hall.
“Hey, JuJu, how’s it going?” Ricky flashed his best smile, but it fell flat.
JuJu looked at him for a long moment before speaking. “You haven’t called me in two weeks, and you’ve been avoiding me at school. What’s going on?”
“Uh, nothing. I’ve just been busy, you know, homework and practice. And stuff.” Ricky’s discomfort was obvious as he shifted from one foot to the other, eyes darting around.
“So busy you can’t pick up a phone? Or wait for me after school?” JuJu demanded.
“Hey, tone it down, will ya?” Ricky looked over his shoulder. “I told you, I’ve been real busy. Football practice is right after school, and then I’ve got homework, and I’m tired. What else you want me to say?” Ricky’s voice took on an edge that caused JuJu to step back.
“I’m sorry, Ricky. I just miss you. I mean, we love each other, right? We’ve been together for a couple months now. I’m your girl. At least, that’s what you told me.” JuJu stared, eyes brimming with tears.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Marcia Haskell appeared at Ricky’s side, giving him a look that clearly questioned JuJu’s presence.
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