Our next adventure was a tour out to Fort Sumter. You take a boat to get to that fort. I hadn’t been out there since I was about five years old because Fort Moultrie had always been my family’s favorite fort to visit. Since you drive to Moultrie, our parents usually took us there.
The Fort Sumter tour took a couple of hours and when we were done there, I told Clark I was seriously tired. I wasn’t sure if he had more plans, but it was around four o’clock and I needed a nap. I wished there was some way we could just go sit somewhere together on a couch and watch TV or take a nap, but circumstances did not allow this. I didn’t want him in my room and my dorm lobby was too loud and busy, especially with a coffee shop in it.
“Clark, I don’t really want today to end yet, but I am too tired. Can we see each other tomorrow? I want to rest.”
“Sure. I didn’t actually have anything planned for today. All I wanted was to see where it would lead us. I’ll take you home now and of course we can see each other tomorrow.”
He opened the car door for me again. When he sat down, I reached my hand across to his. I pulled it to my cheek and told him I had truly loved every minute of the day. Then, with our fingers intertwined, we lowered our hands onto the console as he drove me home. We arrived at my dorm and as I got out of the car, I almost, as if it was some sort of instinct, kissed him! I quickly turned my lean into a hug.
“Tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yes, tomorrow,” he softly replied smiling.
* * *
Through February and early March, Clark and I spent almost every weekend together. Every now and then, he had a required event or inspection, so our time together was cut from two days to maybe just an afternoon or evening. But, we made sure we were together every chance we had.
When we went on dates, we mostly went out to eat or to a movie or on long walks, we even went to church sometimes. Occasionally, I thought of Ethan and wondered if it was time to let him go forever. I hadn’t heard from him since Christmas, so it was becoming easier to forget him.
Clark and I had only been seeing each other for a month and a half. He was quickly becoming all I needed and wanted. Clark made me happy and comfortable. He chose only me. I knew he was in love with me, I knew I was in love with him, and Clark never pushed the issue of wanting more from me.
Chapter 10
One evening in early March, Clark and I were talking on the phone before bedtime. We tried to keep our calls short because Clark didn’t get much sleep as a first year cadet. We were talking about what to do during our upcoming weekend together.
“I still haven’t seen you out of uniform Clark. We could go to the beach for the entire weekend. Can you do that?”
“I’ll make sure of it,” he said.
I made the plans for us to go to Folly from Friday to Sunday. I wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing, but I booked a double room so we’d have separate beds. I suddenly heard Kieron’s voice in my head, “Yes Evi, two sleeping bags!” I laughed out loud for several minutes. I probably would have looked drunk or high to a passerby, but I had not changed. I had made it that long sticking to my virtues. I didn’t see any reason to turn away from my beliefs.
The next thought that came to mind was the evening I had spent with Ethan before I moved to Charleston. I felt his hand in my hair. I felt his other hand draped across my stomach. I felt his breath on my neck and face. I felt the excitement of being with him. Then, I felt the sadness of him misleading me.
I reassured myself that I was doing the right thing. Maybe Ethan is not the man I’m going to marry. After all, for years I had been feeling like I was the one being cheated on by him. Maybe my feelings for Ethan were an overwhelming crush. I put him out of my mind.
Friday evening, we checked into our hotel room at the beach. Clark went into the room first to change into his jeans and a sweatshirt. I knew we would work out the logistics of trying to be modest later, but for those first moments, I figured it was best for him to go in alone.
When he opened the door to let me in, I couldn’t move. I stared at him. He was so real. He didn’t look like a puppet or like he belonged to something else. He looked like he was there with me, for me. I finally felt like he was all mine. I sat my bag down and threw my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my ribs and held me tightly. He kissed me on the neck, and I nuzzled my face into him. I started realizing I was going to have to make a big decision that weekend.
Clark picked up my bag and held the door open for me. He closed the door behind us and set my things down. I plopped right onto my bed and said, “I’m starving Clark!”
“Well okay Evi. There is plenty of food to be had. There’s an entire ocean of food right outside the door. You’ll get fed. I’ll make sure of it.”
I puffed out a laugh at him. Then, within a second, I realized the room was dark. I jumped off the bed and ran to the curtains. “Clark! Help me!” We each clasped a curtain rod and pulled back the drapes. “AGH! We’re at the beach!” I screamed. He opened the sliding glass door so we could step out onto the balcony.
He inhaled, “Oh, smell that air. This is my favorite smell, other than the marsh. This is why I came to the Citadel. I wanted this view and the smell of the ocean as close as possible.”
“Me too!” I said. “My parents begged me not to go so far from home. I grew up in the mountains, serious mountains, but I really always wanted to be near the ocean. This is where I feel at home.”
We stood and watched the waves, listened to the breakers and the seagulls, and felt the chilly breeze blowing.
“I hope it is a bit warmer tomorrow. Maybe we can swim,” I suggested with raised eyebrows.
Clark looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Swim?”
“Yes, swim. It’s March. The sun will be shining. The water is probably about sixty-five degrees. The rivers in Idaho are around fifty degrees in mid-summer. We could swim.” I assured him.
“Huh… maybe. We’ll see.”
The gnawing of hunger was growing stronger so we decided it was time to go eat. When we left the hotel room, Clark took my hand. He had never held my hand in public before then. It was as if I had been given a precious gift. I was really liking the no uniform thing. I smiled at him, squeezed his hand, and rubbed my cheek with it. Once I did that, he pulled his hand from mine, put his arm around behind me, and hugged me. Then, he held the back of my neck while we walked.
We ate seafood at a nearby restaurant for dinner. Afterward, and we decided to walk on the beach and look for seashells. The evening was perfect. I think we both could see our forever together.
When we got back to our hotel room, surprisingly, there was no awkwardness in getting ready for bed. We took turns changing in the bathroom. And we each climbed into our own bed.
I watched him watch me walk to my bed. I wore in a little pair of shorts and a tank top. Though I tried not to appear overly interested, I observed him as he walked past me to his bed. He was wearing only a pair of sweatpants.
After propping his pillows and settling his sheet so it covered him only to his waist, he got up right back up. I watched to see what he was doing. He walked to the balcony and slid the door open about two inches so we could hear the ocean all night. I secretly admired him as he walked across the room back to his bed.
When Clark was settled again, I told him he could have the remote; I was going straight to sleep. He turned on the TV and seemed to be so happy knowing he was going to get a full night’s sleep. He was going to be able to sleep as late as he wanted the next morning. No one was going to wake him up screaming at him in an hour. No one was there who would force him to stay awake for hours until dawn. We were tired and both glad to have our own safe space together.
“Good night Clark. Thanks for spending the weekend with me.”
He looked at me and with his sweet, accepting voice, he said, “Night Ev, and I should be thanking you.”
We smiled.
I awoke around nine Saturday morning. Cl
ark was still sound asleep. I quietly put on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt and walked to the coffee shop down the street. As I was ordering, I realized I had absolutely no idea if Clark even drinks coffee! How do I not know this? I love coffee! I’m pretty sure he must know that about me. I got him a black coffee and a water, just in case, and I went back to the room. He was so out of it, he didn’t hear me leave or return. Boy, he must be really tired, I thought making a shocked facial expression.
I sat out on the balcony and enjoyed my coffee in the warmth of the sun listening to the sounds of the world. I thought I could have sat there forever, except I do get bored fairly easily. I think all of my years of competing in sports and being outside have molded me into a very active person. I don’t like to just sit for too long.
I looked into the room through the curtain. I had kept it mostly closed so the sun didn’t wake him, then I sat back down again. As ten-thirty approached, I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided I was really bored, and I wanted him to be awake with me.
I quietly went back into the room, tiptoed to his side, and slowly climbed onto his bed on my hands and knees. He was sleeping on his stomach. The sheet was still around his waist, and since he wasn’t wearing a shirt, his back was completely exposed. I hovered above his face looking down at him, once again secretly admiring him.
“You’re staring at me Everclear.”
Okay, not so secret anymore. I bit my lip to suppress how seriously attracted I was to him. I whined, “I know! I can’t help it. I’m so bored and hungry again! I got you a coffee, but it’s cold now.”
“I don’t drink coffee.”
Ah, good to know, I thought. “Well, that’s fine, because I got you a water too.”
“Why’d you leave without me? I would have walked you to the coffee shop.”
“You were in such a deep sleep, you didn’t wake up when I left or when I returned. I figured you must need a lot of rest. I’ve been sitting outside for an hour waiting on you to get up.” The whining continued.
“I’m up,” he mumbled into his pillow.
“Then turn over.”
Clark turned over, grabbed me with both hands and wrapped his arms around me. He held me on his chest. Ah, forever. I felt like I could stay here forever. “Don’t let me go Clark,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if he heard me, but if he did, he didn’t respond.
We stayed there for about five minutes just breathing. I was wondering if he was motionless because he was feeling my heartbeat. My heart was pounding… for him.
His release came after he heard my stomach growl. We giggled.
“I told you I’m hungry.”
“You’ll get fed. I’ll make sure of it. Let me get ready Everclear.”
We both got dressed in something presentable and went to breakfast. Facing Clark from across the table began to ignite desires within me that I was not certain I could restrain any longer. He knew it. His eyes told me his body and soul were ready for more, for everything from me. I was glad we were in public with a barrier between us. I loved him! And he loved me.
It was almost noon by the time we finished eating. We managed to complete that meal without having a real conversation about where we were headed physically and when we were going to get there. As we walked back to the room, we could not let go of each other. In an attempt to side track the encounter that I thought was to come, I asked Clark if he was feeling brave enough to swim with me.
“Heck yes! Since you put it that way Evi, of course I have to swim with you now.” He squeezed my shoulders and kissed me on my temple.
When we got to our room, we changed, grabbed our towels and headed to the beach. Crisis averted in my mind.
Generally, people run and dive into the ocean. This was not to be the scene for us. We walked to the edge, and as the shallowest waves retreated to the ocean, we stepped in. The wind was blowing and the water was quite frigid! However, I wasn’t going to pass up swimming. Clark hesitantly followed me, complaining the entire time. We waded out and squealed as each wave crashed into our bare stomachs. I had felt colder water, but this was pretty cold. Determination was going to win though.
Clark held me for about fifteen minutes in the water. Our combined body warmth was probably the only thing that kept us in for that long. When we couldn’t take it any longer, we ran to the showers by the dunes.
Thank heavens the hotel was piping warm water through the showers this time of year. We each turned one on and began rinsing the salty water from the tops of our heads to our feet caked with sand. We were laughing and enjoying one another. I didn’t want to leave the shower.
As I was splashing water onto my neck, I looked over at Clark. His eyes were closed and his face was in the warm stream. Looking at him, I took a deep breath, then did something I never thought I would do. I turned off my shower and joined him in his. My fingers on his waist startled him, and he looked directly into my eyes. This was very unexpected. I really didn’t know what I was going to do next. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to end my promise to myself. Maybe Clark is my one. Maybe he is the one I’ve waited for. I pondered the thought peacefully in my mind.
I moved my hands to his shoulders and pulled myself up onto my tiptoes. When my lips were merely an inch from his, I turned my head and kissed him on his neck. I held my lips on him, feeling the warm water on my back. My heart beat uncontrollably in my chest. He wasn’t responding. His hands were placed lightly on the center of my back. I knew he was only going to let me go as far as I was comfortable. I could trust him not to push me.
To my surprise, and probably his, my lips moved down his chest as I lowered myself. Slowly, I took his hand and placed it over my heart, right in the center of my chest. I pressed it hard against my skin. Trying to take a deep breath, I looked down at his hand, then I looked him in the eyes and asked him softly, “Can you feel that Clark?”
“Yes,” he whispered.
“That’s my heart beating for you. You’re a part of me. You make me happy.” I smiled at him.
“Forever,” was his response. Then he whispered, “Forever, I hope.” He kissed me on my forehead.
When he added the words “I hope” I felt like he knew I had given my heart to someone else years ago. I think that’s why he never pushed me. Maybe he was thinking I had been hurt by another guy and was recovering. His words made me think of Ethan again for an instant. Suddenly, I felt such guilt because I wished for a second that Ethan was standing there with me instead of Clark.
I looked back into Clark’s eyes and he said to me, “I think we’ve gotten the ocean off of us.” He turned the water off, took my hand and we walked to our towels. He picked mine up, shook the sand off of it, and draped it over me before reaching for his own. He was always looking out for me taking care of me first.
Wrapped up in our towels, we opened our arms and hugged standing there on the beach. I placed my head on his chest and closed my eyes. It felt so right being there with him.
When we released our embrace to walk back to our room, I decided to lighten our serious mood. I smiled and asked him, “Clark, would you like to see something that I can do?”
“Uh, yes!” Clark threw his arms out to his sides joining me in our attempt to focus on something other than the cravings we needed to control.
“Okay. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I want to show you something.”
I used the wind to help me lay my towel out on the beach. The wide open space was calling me. I felt like I needed to run so fast that I was about to burst. The surface of South Carolina’s coastline is firm. It is easier to walk on or run on than the beaches of the west coast. I sat on my towel and stretched. Slowly did a full straddle split. I turned to my right, then to my left easing into full spits. A few pushups followed. Then, going back to straddle position, I did a press handstand being sure to keep my legs tight and straight and my toes pointed. I held it steady, turned my torso, did a right side split, bent my left leg, posed, and then walked over out of
my handstand.
Clark yelled and cheered.
“Wait, I’m not done yet,” I said with excitement.
I jumped up and down for a few seconds to get my adrenaline going. Next, I took three strong running steps and I power hurdled into a tumble pass. In my mind, I was competing. I did a round-off, back-handspring, into back tuck, then turn and powered stepped into a front walkover aerial. My show for him concluded with a gymnastics salute toward him as if he was a judge.
“What’s my score Clark? How’d I do?”
I ran full speed to him, jumped into his arms, and wrapped my legs around him. I leaned back, then screamed in his face, “Did I win?”
“Holy crap Evi! That was amazing!”
“But did I win!?” I said in my old vicious, competitive tone, scrunching my nose.
“Oh yes! You win! Always sweetie.”
“Yay me!” I kissed him on his neck as he swung us around laughing.
“I can’t wait to hear and see what else you can do. Do you want to see what I can do?”
“Oooo, I’d love to,” I told him.
Clark put me down. I grabbed my towel and he handed me his towel too. “Jump on my back Evi.” I obliged. He said, “I can carry you all the way up to our room, using the stairs not the elevator, without stopping.”
“Seriously!?” I was intrigued.
“Here we go!”
I laughed and held on tight as he headed to the third floor. A few times, I squealed and begged him not to drop me. In the end, he was absolutely right. He was able to carry me to our room without stopping or dropping me. I was impressed. It was so much fun having someone to play with that day.
Once in our room, we put our lounging clothes back on and watched the television with the curtains and door open. Neither of us needed a lunch. Our breakfast had been late and filling.
Just for Now Page 8