“You’re doing fine, Antonio. Don’t worry.” I squeezed his shoulder and nodded at the nurse as I walked out.
“He went that way,” the nurse said, pointing toward a stairwell at the end of the hall.
“Thanks.”
Opening the door to the stairs, I found Giorgio sitting on the top step, his head in his hands. Lowering myself to sit next to him, I laid a hand on his thigh.
“I left Gabriel with Antonio. How are you doing?”
Without lifting his head, he asked, “Why didn’t she tell me?”
“I don’t know. She didn’t tell me either.” I chewed on my lip for a second. “Did her doctor say anything? I know you were going to her prenatal visits.”
“Nothing, aside from telling her to rest.”
“I’m so sorry,” I murmured. “I read her letter.”
Leaping to his feet, he spun to face me, nearly stumbling on the stairs. “Why didn’t you say something?” he demanded. “You could have told me!”
“I didn’t read it until after you did. She sealed it in that envelope and I wasn’t going to invade your privacy.”
Although I wanted to be angry that he believed I’d read a private letter, I couldn’t. He was lashing out and I didn’t blame him. I understood his anger and I was upset with Sara myself. Her reticence might have harmed Gabriel.
Rubbing his face, he sat down. “I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t have done that.”
“I wish I had,” I muttered. “I feel negligent, like if I’d looked harder, I might have recognized she was having problems.”
He barked out a sour laugh. “You feel negligent? I was on my way to see her tonight, but decided to go by your farm first. If I hadn’t, I might have gotten to her in time.”
Ouch. “Why were you coming to my farm?”
He looked away from me, his long hair hanging in his face. I resisted the urge to brush it out of his eyes.
“I miss you. I miss coming home to you and Antonio cooking, and Leonard being constantly underfoot begging for food.”
I missed him, too, but I was afraid to say so. I wasn’t sure if I could handle another relationship with him. It hurt too much the last time and we’d barely had a chance to explore what might have been. “Antonio is a great person.”
“He is.” Turning to face me, he cupped my cheek. “I want to try again, Carli. I want to start our six weeks over. Do you remember promising me that?”
“Yes.” We’d barely made it a day before things went to hell. I decided not to mention that.
Lowering his face, he kissed me. The soft brush of his lips across mine nearly made me whimper and I wanted more. Although everything in me needed to pull him into my arms and never let go, I kept my hands in my lap and didn’t return the kiss.
“Can we do that? Or is it too late?”
“I… You have Gabriel now, and—”
Giving me a sad smile, he stood and opened the door. “It’s okay. I understand completely. I’ll make things right with Antonio, so hopefully he’ll move back in with me and you can get on with your life.”
“Giorgio, I—”
He grabbed my hand, then dropped a set of keys in my palm. “Those are the keys to La Panache. It’s yours now. The staff is still in place and I know it will be a success with you running it. I’ll have a contract delivered to you later in the week transferring ownership.”
The door shut behind him before I had a chance to say anything. Tears welled and I raced down the stairs, desperate to run away from the emotion clogging my throat. Wasn’t this what I wanted all along?
I had a restaurant to run, a beautiful new house, and enough in savings to keep myself going until La Panache started making money. I wasn’t in danger of being the subject of media scrutiny and everything was going to be right with my little world.
Why did it feel so awful? I escaped through the fire exit, ignoring the bleating alarm. The tears I held at bay surged when I climbed into my truck and I lowered my head to the steering wheel, letting them fall.
My head ached by the time I got home and all I wanted was a stiff shot of tequila, a handful of pain pills, and my bed. Those were all the requirements anyone needed for a good, healthy pity party.
Leonard yawned, baring the few teeth he had. Getting off the couch, he landed with a thump and padded toward me, his chuffing growls reminding me he needed to go out.
Sighing, I opened the door and let him outside, not bothering with his leash. He never went far to do his business. That would require more walking away from his comfy sofa than he was willing to do.
When he came back, I trudged upstairs with him behind me. I didn’t even care about the tequila anymore. I just wanted to go to sleep and hope this shitstorm of a day didn’t repeat itself. Instead of going into Antonio’s room, Leonard followed me and climbed up into my bed. I laid down next to him and threw an arm over his belly.
“It’s you and me now, furball, but you’re probably going to go live with Antonio and Giorgio soon. I’m going to miss you.” I buried my face in his fur, and for the first time since Katie died, I cried myself to sleep.
Giorgio
Antonio’s eyes were closed and I wondered if he was asleep. Gabriel rested on his bare chest, the even sounds of the monitor keeping track of his steady heartbeat.
I wanted to be the one holding my son, but I couldn’t. How could I risk him after I’d killed his mother? I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, resting my chin on my knees as I watched them sleep.
To my surprise, the nurse joined me. Glancing up at the lanyard around his neck, I read his name badge. Lewis. I hadn’t bothered to look before. “How’s he doing?”
Joining me on the floor, Lewis said, “He’s doing very well, considering. You should be able to take him home in about a week.”
“Considering what? What’s wrong with him?”
Giving me a surprised look, Lewis said, “His mother had severe health issues, aside from being diabetic. Didn’t she tell you?”
“No.” My stomach roiled. How had I not known that? I’d been to Sara’s appointments and nothing had ever been mentioned. Then again, she’d refused to allow me into the exam room with her, only granting me access to see the sonograms. It explained so much and I wanted to rage at her. Yet it would have accomplished nothing. She was already gone.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “We’re arranging for donated breast milk, but you’ll have to contract with someone or move him to formula when he’s ready to be released. Otherwise, he’s doing very well.”
Knowing I wasn’t ready, I nodded. Hell, I didn’t even have a nursery set up for Gabriel. Aside from mentioning it in her letter, Sara had asked about it several times. I was focused on The Katie Project and I thought I had more time. Why hadn’t I done even the bare minimum to care for my son?
My phone chimed with an incoming call. Praying it was Carli, I swiped it awake and scowled. Instead of Carli, it was the absolute last person in the world I wanted to talk to. Getting to my feet, I walked out before I answered, unwilling to disturb Gabriel or Antonio.
“What do you want, Proserpina?”
“Is that any way to talk to your aunt? I heard the news, and called to congratulate you on the birth of your son. I’ll be visiting next week. You’ll need a woman to take care of him and I have several choices of appropriate mothers for my great-nephew.”
Nice. Either I was still tabloid bait, or Proserpina had someone watching me. I understood now how Carli must have felt to have her reputation smeared. No wonder she hadn’t wanted anything to do with me. These days, I didn’t want anything to do with me, either.
Would it have killed Carli to try? Maybe not, but I couldn’t blame her for her decision. Despite the chemistry between us, there hadn’t been enough time for me to gain her trust before everything got fucked sideways by the woman on the other end of the phone.
“You’re not going anywhere near my son and I have no interest in meeting anyone you think is approp
riate. Sara’s last request was that our son never be exposed to you.”
“She’s dead, so I fail to see how her opinion matters.” Letting out a sigh, she added, “I’ll be there next week after I get this irritating legal nonsense sorted out.”
Instead of arguing, I hung up on her, then blocked her number. Thumbs flying, I texted Aubrey to let her know. With luck, she could convince the judge to revoke Proserpina’s bail. I didn’t hold out much hope, but it was the best I could do right now.
When I returned to my son’s room, Antonio was awake, carefully feeding Gabriel a bottle.
“Look, Gio,” he said, wonder in his voice. “I’m feeding the baby and he’s smiling at me.”
“I see that. You’re doing great, buddy.” I wasn’t seeing a smile on my son’s face, but I wasn’t about to spoil things for Antonio.
“Do you want to feed him? I’m just the uncle.” His brows drew together into a frown. “I don’t want to be a yucky uncle like Tomas.”
“You will never be a yucky uncle,” I replied, knowing that better than I knew my own name. “You’re going to be the best uncle a little boy ever had.”
He rocked, gently adjusting Gabriel in his arms. “I’m going to try. Where did Carli go?”
“She went home.” At least, I assumed she did. Why would she stay here? As much as I wanted her in my life, I had more important things to worry about now. Maybe it was better that she’d refused me. It was obvious she didn’t want a ready-made family.
“I thought so.” Still rocking, he went silent for several seconds. “I’m sorry I thought you were yucky. Can we be friends again? I think Carli would like that even though she won’t be my sister anymore.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I was yucky for a long time, but I’m going to try not to be.”
“Okay.” He hummed softly, rocking my son. “I like living with Carli, but maybe I should move back with you. Gabriel needs us.”
Relief flooded over me. I hadn’t realized how tense I was. “I’d like that very much.” Kneeling next to him, I patted his thigh. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too. Are you still going to do The Katie Project?”
“Yes. The grand opening is next week.”
“Good. I want to work there.”
“What about being a mechanic?”
Shrugging, he tipped the bottle up, helping Gabriel get the last few drops. “I like it, but I’d rather work at The Katie Project. Maybe we can ask my teacher to have classes there. I bet there’s other people like me who could do it.”
I was halfway through a text to Linsey before I remembered she’d quit. Changing the recipient, I sent it to Aubrey instead. Hopefully, I could convince Linsey to forgive me and come back to work. I’d been an ass to her and she hadn’t deserved it.
Linsey hadn’t been the only one to suffer my ugly disposition. I’d be lucky if my staff didn’t bury me in our next concrete pour. Leaning my head against the arm of Antonio’s chair, I closed my eyes. God, I was tired.
“You should go home and rest,” Antonio said. “The Katie Project is opening next week and you need to take care of Gabriel’s mom. I’ll stay with him.”
“No, I need to be here,” I said. “Gabriel is my son.”
“Then why won’t you hold him?”
“Because I…” Turning away, I rubbed my face. “Because I was careless and didn’t save Sara when I could have.”
“No, that’s not what happened.” He handed me her letter, sadness filling his eyes. “Sara didn’t tell anyone, so how could you have known?”
When had my brother developed a sense of responsibility? It was almost as if he was trying to take care of me, but that wasn’t how things worked. I opened my mouth to yell at him, then stopped myself. He was taking charge, holding my son when I couldn’t, thinking ahead, and making plans.
Calling me out for blaming myself for something beyond my control.
I couldn’t alienate him when he was doing what needed done and definitely not after he’d forgiven me for what happened.
“Do you want to hold him?”
“Yeah.” When I held out my arms, Antonio stood and passed me my son. Lowering my head, I smelled a faint tinge of disinfectant, soap, and the sweet odor of newborn. He was so tiny, but so warm and soft.
Carli knew. She’d tried to convince me and I ignored her. Now, I couldn’t imagine ever letting him go. Although it was a wrench, I handed him back to Antonio. “I’ll be back tomorrow, but have someone call me if you want to come home.”
As I walked out, I dialed Jeremy. I hadn’t talked to him in weeks, but he was the only one I could think of who might be able to help me.
When he answered, I got straight to the point. “I need someone to guard my son.”
“That would be me,” he replied. “I can be there in an hour.”
“Proserpina says she’s coming next week. The grand opening for The Katie Project is next week, and—”
“We’ll take care of it,” he promised. “I have a few friends in the business who will be more than happy to encourage her to forget you exist.”
“Couldn’t happen to a nicer woman,” I muttered.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Carlina
Katie’s favorite story had been Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. I used to read it to her whenever she had one of those days. She always said it made her not feel so alone.
Moving to Australia wasn’t an option. With the way my luck was going, something poisonous would sting me the minute I stepped off the plane.
Antonio’s favorite goat, Pansy, bit me hard enough to draw blood when I tried to milk her.
Beauty, one of the bison cows, came this close to making me an ex-Carli when she kicked at my head.
When I fed Max, he gave me his haunches, also cocking up a hoof like he was thinking about kicking.
“At least you still like me,” I muttered sitting next to Leonard. Grumbling softly, he moved away and sprawled on the other side of the porch.
“No respect. I get no fucking respect.” Rising to my feet, I trudged inside and wondered if I should bother with breakfast. Instead of cooking, I popped a frozen scone in the microwave and chewed on it while I locked Leonard in the house and walked to my truck. Thankfully, he’d learned about puppy pads and seemed happy enough to use them.
I had zero interest in La Panache, but over a dozen cooks, busboys, dishwashers, and servers were depending on me for their livelihoods. Maybe it would get me out of my weeklong funk and back into the world of the living. They’d been asking for me the minute Giorgio’s lawyer sent them letters notifying them of the change of ownership.
As I got in my truck, I saw a cloud of dust lift from my driveway as a black SUV approached. If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was Jeremy, but I hadn’t seen him since Antonio moved back in with Giorgio. I climbed back out and waited for whoever it was to park.
I had a few minutes to contemplate whether I should go into the house. I had no idea who this person was. Although I’d never had any trouble, a woman living alone couldn’t be too careful.
When the SUV drew closer, I saw that it was indeed Jeremy, with Hunter sitting next to him and someone I couldn’t quite see in the back seat. Smiling, I waved as he pulled to a stop.
He rolled down the window, then said, “You have someplace to be in less than an hour and you’ll be bringing Leonard.”
“Yeah, I was just about to head out to the restaurant, but I don’t need a ride, and I’m certainly not bringing a lion.”
“Nope.” Eduardo Mendez climbed from the vehicle, a garment bag over his arm. “Come on, princess. Let’s make you not look like a bag lady. Nobody is going to harm a frizzy hair on your head.”
“Rude!”
“And you’ve lost weight, naughty thing.” He swatted my ass hard. “Get moving.”
Rolling my eyes, I turned on my heel and stomped into the house, Jeremy and Hunter went straight for the kitchen
, as usual.
“Hey! Carli, you don’t have any food in here!” Hunter shouted. “How’s a man supposed to eat?”
“Call for takeout, you glutton,” Eduardo replied, chivying me up the stairs.
“Where am I supposed to be?” I asked. “I’m almost positive I don’t have anything marked on my calendar.”
“It’s a surprise, sweetie. Now, get in the shower. You smell like cow.”
“God, I’m going to strangle you with a pair of stockings,” I muttered, slamming the bathroom door behind me.
“Make sure they’re silk, and don’t wash your hair. I have dry shampoo so you don’t stink.”
Letting out a sigh, I did as he ordered, tucking my hair under a towel to keep it dry. Five minutes later, I was in my robe, trying not to growl while he ran a flat iron over my curls and did my makeup.
“I don’t like you right now,” I muttered, taking the swirly midnight blue wrap dress he handed me.
“Aw, that gets me right here,” he said touching his chest. “Move it.”
Going into the bathroom, I hung my robe on the hook and pulled the dress over the criminally expensive bra and panties Eduardo gave me. “Oh, wow,” I whispered, looking at myself in the mirror.
Despite the price tag that made me wince, the dress was casual and comfortable, dipping low in the front before crossing between my breasts, the fabric draping beautifully to the waist and flowing skirt. How could something so elegant be so easy to wear?
The door opened, revealing Eduardo. “Gorgeous. You look amazing.”
“I like it. Seriously, where are we going?”
“We told you, it’s a surprise. Here.” He opened a shoebox, revealing navy pumps with a pointed toe and low heels. “I remember how much you hated the heels.”
“Thank you.” I slipped them on and wiggled my toes, expecting them to pinch, but they didn’t. “Okay, I guess I’m ready for whatever this surprise is.”
Sobering, Eduardo kissed my cheek. “I hope you love it, honey.”
To my surprise, we drove to the farm next door to mine and turned down the long driveway. There was a sign covered in white canvas hanging overhead. I blinked at the sight in front of me.
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