‘Uh-huh. You can notice ’em now.’
‘I doubt if the young lady herself ever knew. But, by George!’ Masters said savagely, ‘I’d like to see anybody try the same game now!’
‘You would, hey? Then will it interest you to know that the same gal has just disappeared out of the same house AGAIN?’
H.M. began a long narrative of the facts, but he had to break off because the telephone was raving.
‘Honest, Masters,’ H.M. said seriously, ‘I’m not joking. She didn’t get out through the window. But she did get out. You’d better meet me’ – he gave directions – ‘tomorrow morning. In the meantime, son, sleep well.’
It was, therefore, a worn-faced Masters who went into the Visitors’ Room at the Senior Conservatives’ Club just before lunch on the following day.
The Visitors’ Room is a dark, sepulchral place, opening on an air-well, where the visitor is surrounded by pictures of dyspeptic-looking gentlemen with beards. It has a pervading mustiness of wood and leather. Though whisky and soda stood on the table, H.M. sat in a leather chair far away from it, ruffling his hands across his bald head.
‘Now, Masters, keep your shirt on!’ he warned. ‘This business may be rummy. But it’s not a police matter – yet.’
‘I know it’s not a police matter,’ Masters said grimly. ‘All the same, I’ve had a word with the Superintendent at Aylesbury.’
‘Fowler?’
‘You know him?’
‘Sure. I know everybody. Is he goin’ to keep an eye out?’
‘He’s going to have a look at that ruddy cottage. I’ve asked for any telephone calls to be put through here. In the meantime, sir—’
It was at this point, as though diabolically inspired, that the telephone rang. H.M. reached it before Masters.
‘It’s the old man,’ he said, unconsciously assuming a stance of grandeur. ‘Yes, yes! Masters is here, but he’s drunk. You tell me first. What’s that?’
The telephone talked thinly.
‘Sure I looked in the kitchen cupboard,’ bellowed H.M. ‘Though I didn’t honestly expect to find Vicky Adams hidin’ there. What’s that? Say it again! Plates? Cups that had been …’
An almost frightening change had come over H.M.’s expression. He stood motionless. All the posturing went out of him. He was not even listening to the voice that still talked thinly, while his eyes and his brain moved to put together facts. At length (though the voice still talked) he hung up the receiver.
H.M. blundered back to the centre table, where he drew out a chair and sat down.
‘Masters,’ he said very quietly, ‘I’ve come close to makin’ the silliest mistake of my life.’
Here he cleared his throat.
‘I shouldn’t have made it, son, I really shouldn’t. But don’t yell at me for cuttin’ off Fowler. I can tell you now how Vicky Adams disappeared. And she said one true thing when she said she was going into a strange country.’
‘How do you mean?’
‘She’s dead,’ answered H.M.
The word fell with heavy weight into that dingy room, where the bearded faces look down.
‘Y’see,’ H.M. went on blankly, ‘a lot of us were right when we thought Vicky Adams was a faker. She was. To attract attention to herself, she played that trick on her family with the hocused window. She’s lived and traded on it ever since. That’s what sent me straight in the wrong direction. I was on the alert for some trick Vicky Adams might play. So it never occurred to me that this elegant pair of beauties, Miss Eve Drayton and Mr William Sage, were deliberately conspirin’ to murder her.’
Masters got slowly to his feet.
‘Did you say … murder?’
‘Oh, yes.’
Again H.M. cleared his throat.
‘It was all arranged beforehand for me to be a witness. They knew Vicky Adams couldn’t resist a challenge to disappear, especially as Vicky always believed she could get out by the trick window. They wanted Vicky to say she was goin’ to disappear. They never knew anything about the trick window, Masters. But they knew their own plan very well.
‘Eve Drayton even told me the motive. She hated Vicky, of course. But that wasn’t the main point. She was Vicky Adams’s only relative; she’d inherit an awful big scoopful of money. Eve said she could be patient. (And, burn me, how her eyes meant it when she said that!) Rather than risk any slightest suspicion of murder, she was willing to wait seven years until a disappeared person can be presumed dead.
‘Our Eve, I think, was the fiery drivin’ force of that conspiracy. She was only scared part of the time. Sage was scared all of the time. But it was Sage who did the real dirty work. He lured Vicky Adams into that cottage, while Eve kept me in close conversation on the lawn …’
H.M. paused.
Intolerably vivid in the mind of Chief Inspector Masters, who had seen it years before, rose the picture of the rough-stone bungalow against the darkening wood.
‘Masters,’ said H.M., ‘why should a bath-tap be dripping in a house that hadn’t been occupied for months?’
‘Well?’
‘Sage, y’see, is a surgeon. I saw him take his black case of instruments out of the car. He took Vicky Adams into that house. In the bathroom he stabbed her, he stripped her, and he dismembered her body in the bath-tub. – Easy, son!’
‘Go on,’ said Masters, without moving.
‘The head, the torso, the folded arms and legs, were wrapped up in three large square pieces of thin, transparent oilskin. Each was sewed up with coarse thread so the blood wouldn’t drip. Last night I found one of the oilskin pieces he’d ruined when his needle slipped at the corner. Then he walked out of the house, with the back door still standin’ unlocked, to get his wild-strawberry alibi.’
‘Sage went out of there,’ shouted Masters, ‘leaving the body in the house?’
‘Oh, yes,’ agreed H.M.
‘But where did he leave it?’
H.M. ignored this.
‘In the meantime, son, what about Eve Drayton? At the end of the arranged three-quarters of an hour, she indicated there was hanky-panky between her fiancé and Vicky Adams. She flew into the house. But what did she do?
‘She walked to the back of the passage. I heard her. There she simply locked and bolted the back door. And then she marched out to join me with tears in her eyes. And these two beauties were ready for investigation.’
‘Investigation?’ said Masters. ‘With that body still in the house?’
‘Oh, yes.’
Masters lifted both fists.
‘It must have given young Sage a shock,’ said H.M., ‘when I found that piece of waterproof oilskin he’d washed but dropped. Anyway, these two had only two more bits of hokey-pokey. The “vanished” gal had to speak – to show she was still alive. If you’d been there, son, you’d have noticed that Eve Drayton’s got a voice just like Vicky Adams’s. If somebody speaks in a dark room, carefully imitatin’ a coy tone she never uses herself, the illusion’s goin’ to be pretty good. The same goes for a telephone.
‘It was finished, Masters. All that had to be done was remove the body from the house, and get it far away from there …’
‘But that’s just what I’m asking you, sir! Where was the body all this time? And who in blazes did remove the body from the house?’
‘All of us did,’ answered H.M.
‘What’s that?’
‘Masters,’ said H.M., ‘aren’t you forgettin’ the picnic hampers?’
And now, the Chief Inspector saw, H.M. was as white as a ghost. His next words took Masters like a blow between the eyes.
‘Three good-sized wickerwork hampers, with lids. After our big meal on the porch, those hampers were shoved inside the house, where Sage could get at ’em. He had to leave most of the used crockery behind, in the kitchen cupboard. But three wickerwork hampers from a picnic, and three butcher’s parcels to go inside ’em. I carried one down to the car myself. It felt a bit funny …’
H.
M. stretched out his hand, not steadily, towards the whisky.
‘Y’know,’ he said, ‘I’ll always wonder whether I was carrying the – head.’
The Oracle of the Dog
G. K. Chesterton
‘Yes,’ said Father Brown, ‘I always like a dog, so long as he isn’t spelt backwards.’
Those who are quick in talking are not always quick in listening. Sometimes even their brilliancy produces a sort of stupidity. Father Brown’s friend and companion was a young man with a stream of ideas and stories, an enthusiastic young man named Fiennes, with eager blue eyes and blond hair that seemed to be brushed back, not merely with a hair-brush but with the wind of the world as he rushed through it. But he stopped in the torrent of his talk in a momentary bewilderment before he saw the priest’s very simple meaning.
‘You mean that people make too much of them?’ he said. ‘Well, I don’t know. They’re marvellous creatures. Sometimes I think they know a lot more than we do.’
Father Brown said nothing; but continued to stroke the head of the big retriever in a half-abstracted but apparently soothing fashion.
‘Why,’ said Fiennes, warming again to his monologue, ‘there was a dog in the case I’ve come to see you about; what they call the “Invisible Murder Case”, you know. It’s a strange story, but from my point of view the dog is about the strangest thing in it. Of course, there’s the mystery of the crime itself, and how old Druce can have been killed by somebody else when he was all alone in the summer-house—’
The hand stroking the dog stopped for a moment in its rhythmic movement; and Father Brown said calmly, ‘Oh, it was a summer-house, was it?’
‘I thought you’d read all about it in the papers,’ answered Fiennes. ‘Stop a minute; I believe I’ve got a cutting that will give you all the particulars.’ He produced a strip of newspaper from his pocket and handed it to the priest, who began to read it, holding it close to his blinking eyes with one hand while the other continued its half-conscious caresses of the dog. It looked like the parable of a man not letting his right hand know what his left hand did.
‘Many mystery stories, about men murdered behind locked doors and windows, and murderers escaping without means of entrance and exit, have come true in the course of the extraordinary events at Cranston on the coast of Yorkshire, where Colonel Druce was found stabbed from behind by a dagger that has entirely disappeared from the scene, and apparently even from the neighbourhood.
‘The summer-house in which he died was indeed accessible at one entrance, the ordinary doorway which looked down the central walk of the garden towards the house. But by a combination of events almost to be called a coincidence, it appears that both the path and the entrance were watched during the crucial time, and there is a chain of witnesses who confirm each other. The summer-house stands at the extreme end of the garden, where there is no exit or entrance of any kind. The central garden path is a lane between two ranks of tall delphiniums, planted so close that any stray step off the path would leave its traces; and both path and plants run right up to the very mouth of the summer-house, so that no straying from that straight path could fail to be observed, and no other mode of entrance can be imagined.
‘Patrick Floyd, secretary of the murdered man, testified that he had been in a position to overlook the whole garden from the time when Colonel Druce last appeared alive in the doorway to the time when he was found dead; as he, Floyd, had been on the top of a step-ladder clipping the garden hedge. Janet Druce, the dead man’s daughter, confirmed this, saying that she had sat on the terrace of the house throughout that time and had seen Floyd at his work. Touching some part of the time, this is again supported by Donald Druce, her brother, who overlooked the garden standing at his bedroom window in his dressing-gown, for he had risen late. Lastly the account is consistent with that given by Dr Valentine, a neighbour, who called for a time to talk with Miss Druce on the terrace, and by the Colonel’s solicitor, Mr Aubrey Traill, who was apparently the last to see the murdered man alive – presumably with the exception of the murderer.
‘All are agreed that the course of events was as follows: about half-past three in the afternoon, Miss Druce went down the path to ask her father when he would like tea; but he said he did not want any and was waiting to see Traill, his lawyer, who was to be sent to him in the summer-house. The girl then came away and met Traill coming down the path; she directed him to her father and he went in as directed. About half an hour afterwards he came out again, the Colonel coming with him to the door and showing himself to all appearance in health and even high spirits. He had been somewhat annoyed earlier in the day by his son’s irregular hours, but seemed to recover his temper in a perfectly normal fashion, and had been rather markedly genial in receiving other visitors, including two of his nephews who came over for the day. But as these were out walking during the whole period of the tragedy, they had no evidence to give. It is said, indeed, that the Colonel was not on very good terms with Dr Valentine, but that gentleman only had a brief interview with the daughter of the house, to whom he’s supposed to be paying serious attentions.
‘Traill, the solicitor, says he left the Colonel entirely alone in the summer-house, and this is confirmed by Floyd’s bird’s-eye view of the garden, which showed nobody else passing the only entrance. Ten minutes later Miss Druce again went down the garden and had not reached the end of the path, when she saw her father, who was conspicuous by his white linen coat, lying in a heap on the floor. She uttered a scream which brought others to the spot, and on entering the place they found the Colonel lying dead beside his basket-chair, which was also upset. Dr Valentine, who was still in the immediate neighbourhood, testified that the wound was made by some sort of stiletto, entering under the shoulder-blade and piercing the heart. The police have searched the neighbourhood for such a weapon, but no trace of it can be found.’
‘So Colonel Druce wore a white coat, did he?’ said Father Brown as he put down the paper.
‘Trick he learnt in the tropics,’ replied Fiennes with some wonder. ‘He’d had some queer adventures there, by his own account; and I fancy his dislike of Valentine was connected with the doctor coming from the tropics, too. But it’s all an infernal puzzle. The account there is pretty accurate; I didn’t see the tragedy, in the sense of the discovery; I was out walking with the young nephews and the dog – the dog I wanted to tell you about. But I saw the stage set for it as described: the straight lane between the blue flowers right up to the dark entrance, and the lawyer going down it in his blacks and his silk hat, and the red head of the secretary showing high above the green hedge as he worked on it with his shears. Nobody could have mistaken that red head at any distance; and if people say they saw it there all the time, you may be sure they did. This red-haired secretary Floyd is quite a character; a breathless, bounding sort of fellow, always doing everybody’s work as he was doing the gardener’s. I think he is an American; he’s certainly got the American view of life; what they call the viewpoint, bless ’em.’
‘What about the lawyer?’ asked Father Brown.
There was a silence and then Fiennes spoke quite slowly for him. ‘Traill struck me as a singular man. In his fine black clothes he was almost foppish, yet you can hardly call him fashionable. For he wore a pair of long, luxuriant black whiskers such as haven’t been seen since Victorian times. He had rather a fine grave face and a fine grave manner, but every now and then he seemed to remember to smile. And when he showed his white teeth he seemed to lose a little of his dignity and there was something faintly fawning about him. It may have been only embarrassment, for he would also fidget with his cravat and his tie-pin, which were at once handsome and unusual, like himself. If I could think of anybody – but what’s the good, when the whole thing’s impossible? Nobody knows who did it. Nobody knows how it could be done. At least there’s only one exception I’d make, and that’s why I really mentioned the whole thing. The dog knows.’
Father Brown sighed and then sai
d absently: ‘You were there as a friend of young Donald, weren’t you? He didn’t go on your walk with you?’
‘No,’ replied Fiennes smiling. ‘The young scoundrel had gone to bed that morning and got up that afternoon. I went with his cousins, two young officers from India, and our conversation was trivial enough. I remember the elder, whose name I think is Herbert Druce and who is an authority on horse-breeding, talked about nothing but a mare he had bought and the moral character of the man who sold her – while his brother Harry seemed to be brooding on his bad luck at Monte Carlo. I only mention it to show you, in the light of what happened on our walk, that there was nothing psychic about us. The dog was the only mystic in our company.’
‘What sort of a dog was he?’ asked the priest.
‘Same breed as that one,’ answered Fiennes. ‘That’s what started me off on the story, your saying you didn’t believe in believing in a dog. He’s a big black retriever named Nox, and a suggestive name too; for I think what he did a darker mystery than the murder. You know Druce’s house and garden are by the sea; we walked about a mile from it along the sands and then turned back, going the other way. We passed a rather curious rock called the Rock of Fortune, famous in the neighbourhood because it’s one of those examples of one stone barely balanced on another, so that a touch would knock it over. It is not really very high, but the hanging outline of it makes it look a little wild and sinister; at least it made it look so to me, for I don’t imagine my jolly young companions were afflicted with the picturesque. But it may be that I was beginning to feel an atmosphere; for just then the question arose of whether it was time to go back to tea, and even then I think I had a premonition that time counted for a good deal in the business. Neither Herbert Druce nor I had a watch, so we called out to his brother, who was some paces behind, having stopped to light his pipe under the hedge. Hence it happened that he shouted out the hour, which was twenty past four, in his big voice through the growing twilight; and somehow the loudness of it made it sound like the proclamation of something tremendous. His unconsciousness seemed to make it all the more so; but that was always the way with omens; and particular ticks of the clock were really very ominous things that afternoon. According to Dr Valentine’s testimony, poor Druce had actually died just about half-past four.
Murder in Midsummer Page 15