He followed her to the kitchen and watched her as she got two glasses from the cupboard, filled them with ice, poured them half full of tea from the refrigerator, then topped them off with lemonade, stirring them and handing one to him. “Want to go sit on the porch?”
“Sure do. And thanks,” he added, saluting her with the glass.
They walked comfortably to the porch and settled into the wooden Adirondack rocking chairs Nora had set there. Rocking like an old married couple, surveying their land, Nora mused. She tried to hide a chuckle, but he noticed.
“What?” he asked with a smile before he took a huge gulp of the drink.
She almost denied it but at the last minute she said, “I was just thinking that we’re like an old married couple rocking on the front porch at the end of the day.”
He gave her an odd look. “Part of that I like. I like that you’re thinking of us as a couple. But let’s revisit the old part.”
Nora laughed.
“I don’t think of myself as old, and I certainly don’t think of you as old.”
Nora gazed at him. No, the man was not old, not by a long shot. He was tall and strong and vibrant. Sure, in years, he was about her same age, late forties, maybe fifty. But his life of working with animals had given him lean muscles and a fit physique. He’d taken good care of himself, and it showed.
“Thank you for the compliment. I certainly feel younger out here on the ranch than I did in the city working twelve hours every day. My whole life consisted of riding to work in the darkness of the early morning, working in the office all day long, riding home at night, eating a microwave meal and pulling out my email to do before bed.”
“That was no way to live.”
“You’re absolutely right about that.” She knew her affection for him was evident on her face, her eyes, her smile.
“So, here we are.” His words were tentative and a little awkward. But she knew what he meant. They hadn’t gotten started on their relationship do-over before Thunder’s injury. Now that Thunder was healing, maybe it was time to focus on themselves.
“Yes, we are.” She smiled wide, giving him a message.
“I’d like to take you on a phenomenal start-over date.”
She giggled, which, much to her dismay, sounded to her own ears like a love-sick teen, not a woman with her years of experience and stature. “That sounds good to me.”
“Do you like music?”
“Hmmm,” she considered, frowning as she thought. “Yes, I suppose so. I mean, I don’t dislike music.”
“Live music?”
“Never been to a concert, believe it or not.”
“Well now, you leave it to me. I’m going to plan a musical night out that will be life-changing.”
“Wow, that’s a big promise there, cowboy.” She reached over and put her hand in his. He squeezed and there went that adrenaline shooting through her veins again.
“Stay tuned,” he said with a grin. They went on to talk about other things: Thunder’s progress, his day, her day, until the sun had set over the coast and it was time for him to go.
Chapter Seven
Ryan’s days were jam -packed, and yet they passed slowly. From class to lawn-mowing back to class, to the library for studying, grabbing an occasional meal and only returning home to sleep. One endless day of activity, of purpose; but there was a huge piece of his day that was missing. The whole reason he was here, in Myrtle Beach, instead of Chapel Hill. The whole reason he’d made such great changes in his life.
Grace.
Grace was absent and had been for almost a week. And he felt the loss. He missed that little girl. He wanted to fit in time to see her every day, or nearly every day. He wanted to continue to build their relationship. He got such a kick out of seeing her smile when she saw him and hearing her laugh when she delighted in something he’d done.
Carly had put him in isolation while she mulled over his suggestion. A part of him wished he’d never brought up the idea of telling Grace he was her daddy. At least Carly would still be tolerating his visits and he’d get to see his little girl. And yet, another part of him was certain it was the right thing to do. Because he wasn’t just some big male playmate for Grace, showing up once in a blue moon to play with her and make her laugh.
He was her father.
He could certainly understand why Carly was hesitant to trust him. But he had to somehow regain her trust so that he could prove to her how committed he was to being the kind of father that Grace deserved.
So, he waited. And he went to school and he went to work, and he studied to keep up his grades. Waiting for the day he could see Grace again.
One morning, he was in the kitchen making himself some breakfast. His mother walked in, and when she saw him, she came to a stop. Pain and distress were etched into the lines of her face as she looked at him.
“Good morning, Mom,” he said softly.
Her eyes wandered over his face. “Hello.” She pushed past him to get to the cereal cabinet. She stopped her movement and turned her head slightly, not quite enough to see him. “How’s your semester going?”
“Good.”
She sighed and turned the rest of the way around. She looked up at him and then pulled him into a tentative hug. Ryan put his arms around her and held her in place. “This isn’t what your dad and I wanted for you. None of this is what we wanted.”
Ryan nodded. “I know.” The teenage pregnancy, the baby, the release of his scholarships, his enrollment into a less prestigious school. He knew what she meant. “But you can make all the plans in the world, and sometimes life doesn’t go according to plan.”
She sniffed, her head against his chest.
“I’m doing what I think is right, Mom. I hope you and Dad can recognize that, and maybe even support that decision. Even if you don’t agree with what I’m doing, maybe you can try to understand why I need to do it.”
There was so much more he wanted to say to her. He could sit down for an hour and get her caught up on his classes, his professors, the few friends he’d met at Myrtle Beach College, his job, the days he’d spent with Grace, and his argument with Carly. But the time wasn’t right. Maybe someday it would be.
His mother didn’t say any words, but she pulled back from him, gave him a shaky smile and placed her hand on his cheek. That was her way of saying that she loved him still, and although she didn’t agree with his direction, she wasn’t as angry about it. He finished his cereal in silence, placed the bowl in the sink and left with a “Have a good day, Mom.”
Midway through the day he got a text from Carly, “Could you come over tonight?”
His first reaction was to smile, a whoosh of relief going through him. Then, he reconsidered. Maybe his optimism was premature. After all she didn’t say what her decision would be. So, he typed back, “Sure. About 5:30?”
The afternoon dragged while Ryan checked the time every fifteen minutes, but he finally finished with his schedule and headed over to Carly’s apartment. She answered the door to his knock, and this time, Grace stood beside her mother, and began to hop up and down in place, her excitement at seeing him erupting. His heart rushed as he leaned down and swept Grace into his arms, swinging her high, while she giggled and beamed.
“Hi sweetheart, how are you today?”
She was laughing so hard she couldn’t respond, but he got the message.
He glanced at Carly. She watched the two of them, her face a blank mask of interest. He stepped into the apartment and Carly gestured to the living room. Sitting on the couch, he lowered Grace onto his lap. She bounced up and down like she was riding a pony, then her mother said, “Grace, you jump down and play in your room for just a minute. Mommy and Ryan have something to talk about.”
Grace looked at her, then at Ryan. He smiled at her encouragingly. Then she did as her mom said.
“So,” Carly started, “you gav
e me a lot to think about the last time you were here.”
He nodded earnestly. She’d taken close to a week to think about it, and now evidently, she was going to deliver her decision. He just hoped it would go his way. If it didn’t, he wasn’t about to back off his desire to be Grace’s father. However, it would be so much easier if the two of them could agree.
“I kept thinking about what you want, and how nervous I am ... scared, actually, Ryan ... that this will be a total disaster.”
He started to interrupt her, but she held a hand up. “Anyway, I kept going back and forth, not knowing what to do, and then the wise words of a good friend popped into my head. If we don’t have answers, go to the one who has all the answers. And that is God.”
He nodded, surprised. He’d never really known Carly to have a strong faith in God. In fact, he hadn’t really either. Other than taking him to church on Christmas Eve and Easter Sunday, his parents hadn’t placed a high priority on faith either.
“So, I prayed. And I prayed again. Again and again until I got it all out. And I looked up verses about fatherhood and parenthood in the Bible. I wanted to make the decision that God led me to. I finally got there.”
Breathless, he said, “You did?”
“Yes. God values families. God developed the idea of a family, with a mom and a dad and the kids. Although I have been raising Grace largely on my own, and could continue to, I think God’s direction is to let you into Grace’s life and show her a father’s love.”
Ryan’s smile jumped onto his face. “Thank you, Carly. This is great. This is awesome.”
“But.”
Of course, there was a but. And there should be a but. Carly wouldn’t be half the mother she was if there weren’t guidelines and rules.
“You have to show up, Ryan. When you say something to Grace, you have to follow through. When you promise something, you have to do it. You can’t decide today that you want to be her daddy and decide next month that you’re tired of it. This is a life-long job.”
“Yes. I know that.”
“But do you?” She looked at him intensely. She wasn’t trying to be insulting, he knew that. As much as he didn’t like hearing her lecture, he knew he deserved it.
“Yes, I do. I promise you, Carly. This isn’t a passing whim. I have made a lot of changes in my life, so I could be here close to Grace. I am ready to be her father.” He leaned closer to Carly, and in his heart, he felt the urge to seal the deal with a kiss. His lips were just inches from hers. But that wouldn’t help his plea. This wasn’t about him and Carly. It was about them and Grace. Instead, he whispered, “Please trust me.”
“I’m going to put my trust in you, for Grace’s sake.”
He felt like whooping for joy. Instead, he brought her hands up to his lips and kissed them. “Thank you. You won’t regret this, Carly. This is definitely the right decision.”
His happy gratitude made her face crack into a smile for the first time. This had been a huge weight on her, and she now could relax. “Ready to tell Grace?”
A surge of nerves went through his veins, but he was ready. He was more than ready. “Yes. Are you?”
She looked a little surprised that he asked. “We’ll see, won’t we?” Her laugh was tinged with tension. Then she looked at Ryan and winked. That wink held solidarity. They were in this together. They were a team.
Carly stood and walked down the hallway, returning with Grace holding her hand. His heart bulged with love for this little girl who was now and would continue to be the center of his life. Carly lifted Grace and sat her on the couch between the two of them.
“Grace, Ryan and I have something important to tell you. Something exciting.” The little girl turned to look curiously at each of them. Carly took a deep breath and went on. “Ryan is your daddy, Grace.”
She looked over at him and studied him closely. “He’s my daddy?”
Ryan nodded while Carly said, “Yes.” Grace’s face went still while he was sure her brain was whirring, trying, in her two-year-old fashion to process this news, to make sense of it. She turned back to her mom.
“Daddy?” she asked, uncertain.
“Yes, sweetheart. Ryan is your daddy, and he loves you very much. He wants to spend more time with you, and if you want to, you can call him Daddy.”
She turned back to him. Her eyes flickered all over his face. He needed to help, not just sit here silently and let Carly do all the work. “Yes, sweetheart. Do you want to call me Daddy, or would you rather just call me Ryan?”
“You live with me?” Her big green eyes blinked at him.
“No, sweetie. You’ll still live here with your mommy and I will come and visit just as often as I can.”
“But you’re my daddy.” Her mind had been presented with a brand-new concept and she was trying to understand something that she’d never had before. How many of her friends had fathers? Had she ever seen them in a family setting? Did she even know what this meant?
“Yes, baby. I’m your daddy and I love you very much.”
“I call you Daddy.” Her mind made up, Grace got up and took his hand, pulling him down on the floor to play with some plastic animal toys she had in a basket in the corner. He raised his eyebrows at Carly, who shrugged.
“I guess that went well,” she said.
He guessed so too. At least he hadn’t done too much damage to his baby girl on his first official day on the job.
“Have you eaten? I was going to order a pizza.”
“Yeah, great.” He dug into his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out a twenty-dollar bill. “Here, let me get it.” It was sort of nice to have spending money and be able to buy things for his family. Carly glanced at it for a minute, then took it. He was glad she hadn’t argued.
AN HOUR LATER, RYAN said, “I have an idea. Let’s go to the car.”
Immediately, Carly felt herself frowning. She didn’t want him to come up with the ideas. Because she may not approve of his ideas. On the other hand, she’d prayed about this and God had led her to give Ryan his full chance to be Grace’s father. She couldn’t get suspicious and resentful every time he suggested something. Parenthood was a dual job. So, with a quick silent prayer in her head, Help me, Lord, she forced a pleasant expression on her face and said, “What’s your idea?”
He laughed as he stood. “It’s a surprise. You’ll find out when we get there.”
She sighed with comic exasperation and he laughed. “Grace, do you want to find out what Daddy’s surprise is?”
Of course, she did. She jumped up, hopping excitedly. Make me a little more like Grace, she added to her prayer, and they headed out the door. Ryan led the way to his car, but Carly headed toward her car. “We need to move the car seat, Ryan.”
He shook his head at her. “No. No need.”
She bit her tongue. What was he doing? “She’s not allowed to ride in a car without a car seat. It’s state law.” She rolled her eyes behind his back. If he were a real father, he would know that without her having to tell him. What had she done?
Ryan arrived at his car and opened the back-passenger door. He gestured like a host on a game show. Curious, she walked closer. There, positioned in his back seat was a toddler’s car seat. She leaned her head in. It was the latest model on the market; in fact, she’d coveted it on more than one occasion herself. She wanted this model for her own car but hadn’t had the funds to buy it. “You bought this?”
“Yes. I figured we needed a car seat in each of our cars, so we can each transport her safely.”
Knowing how much this model cost, she had to admit she was impressed with his willingness to invest in it. She should’ve just been happy about it, but she had to ask, “Did your parents buy this for you?”
He chortled. “No. My parents cut me off, remember? No funds for Ryan.”
She stared at him. “What? Why?”
“Oh, I ne
ver told you about that. My parents, shall we say, are making known their displeasure in my recent life changes.”
She would’ve asked him more, but Grace started talking and trying to climb into the car seat by herself, so Ryan lent her a helping hand. Carly stared at him. So, his parents didn’t approve of his decisions, but he still was here. Their financial support of him was something he’d had his entire life, something she was sure he’d taken for granted like it would always be there. He’s always been the pampered only son of their high-performing family. And now it was gone. How was he dealing with that?
Well, he’d gotten a job and he was paying his own way. And he was showing up for Grace.
She double-checked his work of installing the seat, and buckling Grace into it, she gave him a thumbs-up and a smile. A genuine one, because he was truly starting to impress her now.
He roared his old engine to life and started driving. He turned his head slightly and said, “Grace, I want to take you somewhere that your mommy and I know very well.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a surprise, baby girl. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
Carly felt a little churn in her stomach wondering as well, but soon Ryan pulled into the parking lot of their high school. Then he drove around to the gymnasium and parked. While Carly got Grace out of the seat, Ryan went around to his trunk, pulling out a basketball. “This is where your mommy and daddy met, Grace.”
“Here?” she asked.
“Yes, right here. We went to school here. I played basketball right over here, and your mommy was a cheerleader. Did you know that?”
Grace fairly trembled with excitement, and she shook her head. “What’s a cheerleader?”
“Well, come right on in, and we’ll show you.” Ryan tucked the basketball under one arm and reached for Grace’s hand with the other. Carly grabbed Grace’s other hand and they walked to the gym, swinging her between the two of them.
Restoration Page 11