‘And she said?’
‘That her delightful son wholeheartedly agreed with her, and that I have four weeks to return home or our engagement will be off.’
Ruby’s voice was full of anger, but May wasn’t about to go easy on her just because she was hurting. This was the time to push her, to draw on that anger and stop her from holding back.
‘Are you going to go home?’
‘No.’ Ruby’s reply was quick, without a beat of hesitation. ‘I want to prove them wrong. Why is it fine for him to do his bit, but not me?’
‘You’re certain?’ May asked.
‘Part of me wants to give up – there’s a little voice telling me that I’m not good enough, that I shouldn’t have come in the first place.’
‘And the other voice?’
Now Ruby found a smile. ‘That voice is telling me that I can do it, that I’m capable of making a difference here, and to hell with what anyone thinks of me.’
‘I say we listen to that voice then,’ said May, ‘because that’s the Ruby I want to see on my base flying my planes.’
Ruby was looking down at the paper strewn in tiny pieces all around her feet, and as she bent to collect them, May moved around and squatted down beside her to help.
‘If you could fly into his base, once you’re cleared to fly a bomber, is that something you’d want to do?’ May whispered.
Ruby froze, then looked up, a strength shining through that May hadn’t seen before. ‘Yes.’
May nodded. ‘Then you have my word that I’ll try to make that happen, in exchange for you starting to believe in yourself and in your abilities.’ She paused. ‘Do we have a deal?’
Ruby held out her hand. ‘Deal.’
‘Then clean this mess up, Sanders, and meet me out front in thirty minutes, ready to show me what you’re made of.’
May returned to her desk to study her paperwork. She was always so good at giving advice to her girls, giving them pep talks and helping them to manage their personal and work lives. She glanced at the drawer where her mother’s letters were hidden, the pain of her words too much for May to deal with right now. Pity I’m not better at putting the broken pieces of my own life back together.
‘Did you get any mail yesterday?’ Ben’s question was friendly, his eyes lighting up as he reached into his pocket and took out a folded piece of paper. It was already smudged with grease. He waved it. ‘My little sister again, insisting that I go home to see her when I have leave. She’s relentless.’
May sighed. ‘You should go. It sounds like she’s missing you terribly.’
‘It’s her birthday in a few months’ time, and I was hoping I might be able to save up some leave, head home for a few days?’
May wondered how many men existed like Ben. He worked all day with his hands, bent over engines for so many hours his back must ache by nightfall, but he never complained about it. He complained about the state of the engines plenty, but never about the work he did.
‘So, did you get one?’ he asked.
‘Did I get what?’ She was lost in her own thoughts.
‘A letter, silly.’
‘Oh, ah, yes. From my mother.’
‘How is she? Missing her girl?’
May sighed. Two years, she thought. It had been two years today since Johnny had been taken from them, and the anniversary was making it even harder than usual to think about her family. Or maybe it was amplifying her guilt at not seeing them or being in touch with them for so long.
‘I actually haven’t read it yet.’
Ben took a step forward, his gaze fixed on her, so that she couldn’t look away.
‘One of these days I’m going to ask you about your family, May,’ he said. ‘And I’m not going to let you walk away without answering.’
She shivered. ‘And one of these days I might tell you,’ she said, hoping she sounded stronger than she felt. ‘Now go and check that engine over one last time and send Ruby up. I want her running rings around Dunlop by tomorrow!’
‘Yes, ma’am,’ Ben said, grinning as he started to jog backwards.
But then something about her face must have told him that she wasn’t strong today, that she wasn’t capable of joking around and pretending everything was fine. He stopped and walked back towards her, his smile gone as he reached for her hands.
‘That day’s today, isn’t it?’ he said softly. ‘It’s time I asked you what you’re hiding, what happened to your family. What has this war taken from you, May?’
May’s lips parted as she fought for the words she was suddenly desperate to share.
‘I lost someone,’ she murmured. ‘I lost someone, two years ago today.’
Ben watched her silently, his fingers tightening around hers.
‘Johnny, my brother,’ she said, just loud enough for him to hear. ‘It’s why I don’t go home, and it’s why I’m so determined to keep these girls safe. I can’t lose anyone else, Ben. I just can’t.’
She trusted him with her life whenever she went up in the air, and for some reason she trusted him enough with her secret now, too. He opened his arms, pulling her in, holding her as she clung to him. She wanted to cry, to sob, but she sucked it all in, too scared to let go. Instead she shuddered in silence.
‘You’ve kept this to yourself?’ he asked. ‘All this time?’
May nodded. The relief of admitting the truth to someone was like a pressure valve releasing, letting her breathe again. ‘Yes. No one else knows anything about my personal life, but today . . .’ Her voice trailed off. ‘Today is one of those days that’s even harder than all the rest.’
‘Your secret’s safe with me, May,’ he said, stroking her hair as she held him, breathing in the scent of his aftershave mixed with the distinct smell of engine oil. ‘You can trust me.’
I know, she thought, even though she didn’t say it.
He slowly let her go and pulled a flask from his pocket. ‘I think your brother would be proud of the work you’re doing,’ he said, unscrewing the top and passing it to her.
May hesitantly took a tiny sip before giving it back to him, wincing at the burn in her throat.
‘To Johnny,’ he said, raising the flask to his lips.
‘To Johnny,’ she whispered back.
Later that day, when the girls were all back and May was seated at her desk again, she studied the room. Some of the pilots had left already; others were milling around, and some, like Ruby, had their heads bent over books. But it was Lizzie who caught her attention, sulking, her bottom lip pushed out as she glared at the open book in front of her.
Resenting Lizzie or disliking her wasn’t doing anyone any good, and no matter how annoying she might be, May needed everyone to be part of the team. Taking her off her training wasn’t going to help with that, unless it had miraculously humbled her, which May seriously doubted.
‘Dunlop,’ she called, beckoning for Lizzie to join her.
Lizzie moved slowly, stretching out long like a cat before rising and crossing the room.
‘More punishment?’ she asked, holding up her hands. ‘Because trust me, after the day I had yesterday, I promise to behave. I surrender.’
May tried not to show how pleased she was to hear these words. Maybe her plan hadn’t been so bad after all. Besides, it wasn’t as if she didn’t admire Lizzie’s ambition. Lizzie was probably the one woman who understood her desire to establish a squadron and prove what women were capable of; May just struggled with her lack of awareness and team spirit.
‘What are you doing this weekend? I’m aware you have two days’ leave, the same as Ruby.’
Lizzie shrugged. ‘I’ll likely head back to White Waltham.’
May saw Ruby watching them and waved her over.
‘I don’t want to overstep,’ May said, looking between them, ‘but I heard from Polly the other day that the two of you might be heading to London for a night.’
Ruby nodded, looking confused. ‘Is that a problem? I can stay on base
if you need me.’
‘Of course not. I was only thinking that it’s time we put an end to this division or whatever it is going on here,’ May said. ‘I propose that we all go for a night, away from base, so we can start feeling more of a team. Like friends, even.’
Ruby’s cheeks had gone pink; Lizzie looked like she’d just been told someone had died.
‘What do you both say? A night in London, the four of us?’
Ruby nodded. ‘Of course. I’ll send word to Poll.’
‘Lizzie?’ May asked tentatively.
‘Sugar, when have I ever said no to a night out?’
May forced a smile and nodded to dismiss them both, trying not to laugh at the idea of spending an evening out with Lizzie, making friends. But they did all need to get along, and the sooner Lizzie saw that they were all just part of a jigsaw puzzle, one little piece that contributed to the war effort, the better.
CHAPTER SEVEN
LONDON, JUNE 1942
LIZZIE
‘We don’t have to do this,’ Lizzie said as she changed into her dress uniform, careful to untuck her curls from her collar before doing up the buttons on her jacket.
‘We’re having a fun night out in London, Lizzie. We’ll be fine,’ Ruby said from the other side of the room. ‘Seriously, are we such bad company that you can’t even handle one night?’
Lizzie checked herself in the tiny mirror, patting her hair and smacking her lips together. ‘If I’ve upset you it wasn’t my intention,’ she said, picking up Ruby’s jacket from the other single bed and holding it up for her. Ruby looked surprised as she slipped into it. ‘I kind of thought we were friends anyway, to tell you the truth.’
‘Thanks,’ Ruby muttered. ‘But why are you suddenly being so nice?’
‘I am nice,’ Lizzie said with a laugh. ‘I just like winning more than I like making friends.’
‘Sounds lonely,’ Ruby replied, an eyebrow arched.
They stared at one another and Lizzie wished she’d tried harder with her roommate. Ruby had been nothing but nice to her and she’d treated her like she wasn’t her equal – she might not be as good in the air, but she wasn’t exactly hard to be around. And it was kind of lonely putting all her energy into winning, into being better than anyone else. Had her father felt this way? Had he been friends with his squadron or been isolated as he tried to prove himself? May was always talking about being part of a team, and the other girls were always rolling their eyes at her, but she hadn’t come to England to make friends; she’d come to make a name for herself.
‘How about we have a few drinks tonight, dance the night away and start over?’ Lizzie said, picking up her bag from her bed as a car horn tooted outside.
‘You’re serious?’ Ruby asked.
‘You make it sound like I’m so awful I couldn’t possibly be nice or fun!’
Ruby just laughed as she zipped her bag. ‘Fine, we’re starting over then. But you can’t just say you’re going to do it – you actually have to try.’
Lizzie saluted her and opened the door, letting Ruby go first down the narrow little staircase. She looked back at the bedroom, the two beds perfectly made, a small vase of flowers picked by their host sitting on the shared bedside table. The room was sweet but it was also stiflingly small, and she was looking forward to having more space at the Savoy for the one night they were there.
‘Hurry up!’ Ruby called from downstairs.
Lizzie was about to yell down some smart reply but kept her mouth shut as she raced down the stairs. Maybe Ruby was right – it was going to be hard being nice!
‘Goodbye, Mrs Robinson!’ she called out to their host, shutting the door behind her. She looked through the open window by the door and caught sight of the older lady, leaning out and waving to Ruby – she was a sweet woman and seemed to love the comings and goings of her two young guests.
Outside, Polly waved from the driver’s seat and Ruby climbed in beside her, leaving the back seat for Lizzie. May was meeting them later in the evening, so it was just the three of them heading into London.
‘Morning,’ she said, smiling at Polly. The pretty blonde had her hair up, her lips painted a bright red to match her nails. ‘Thanks for the ride.’
‘My pleasure. Now, let’s go. We’ve got a train to catch and I don’t want to waste a second of our leave!’ Polly said, planting her foot on the accelerator and sending them all flying back into their seats. Lizzie laughed. Maybe the Brits were more fun than she’d given them credit for.
London was nothing like Lizzie had expected. She’d spent time there briefly when they’d first been based at White Waltham, but aside from their scheduled two days of leave every two weeks, there was little time for fun or exploring her new country. But after enduring the newly arrived Captain Montgomery earlier in the week, she was more than happy to escape reality for a night. He was infuriating; the man seemed to enjoy lording his rank and experience over her, and instead of pushing her to do better, he was getting under her skin and driving her mad. She grimaced, wondering if it was actually because he was the first man in a long while to be completely immune to her charms. She’d even fluttered her lashes at him and given him a few sweet-as-pie Southern smiles, but it only seemed to annoy him more.
She stared out the taxi window, nose almost to the glass as she studied the city. Lizzie imagined it would have been beautiful before the war, but the bombs had wreaked havoc: entire blocks were gone, with foundations sticking up haphazardly, reminding her of a graveyard. She also couldn’t get used to the barrage balloons that seemed to float so lazily in the sky in an attempt to discourage low-level attacks. Seeing it like this, the reality of war hit her like an unexpected blow. Even though they were flying military planes, she hadn’t truly seen the war herself; she hadn’t actually lived through it like the local pilots had, and it struck her that her hometown could look like this if war found its way to American shores. Pearl Harbor had already been destroyed, but imagining her own beloved streets bombed, everything she knew and loved being in danger like this, was sobering. She’d found her father’s stories glamorous, when in reality war was anything but.
She’d been naive enough to think that London wouldn’t be so affected, but between bombed buildings and the blackout, not to mention the wailing siren that echoed to warn of air raids, it was a city struggling. The only thing she’d really noticed where they were based was the food rations, but they still had plenty to eat. Lizzie smiled, thinking about her mother, who’d worried before she left about what food would be available, hands on hips as she’d fretted about how skinny her daughter might be on her return. Once she started flying the four-engine bombers, planes that usually had a crew of more than four men, skinny would be the least of her mother’s worries.
‘Here you are, luv,’ the taxi driver said as he pulled over, parked cars blocking him from taking them straight to the door.
Lizzie glanced over at Ruby. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
But Ruby was still looking out the window, and seemed a million miles away. ‘Sorry, I was . . .’ Her voice trailed off.
They stepped out and Lizzie linked her arm with Ruby’s as they waited for the driver to get their overnight bags, wondering for the first time what her roommate might have lost to the war. ‘You’re thinking about that man of yours, aren’t you?’ she whispered.
Ruby laughed, resisting her at first, then leaning in and keeping their arms linked. Then she grabbed hold of Polly so the three of them were lined up in a row. ‘So she’s not only a better flyer than me – she’s a mind reader now, too!’
Lizzie rolled her eyes. She’d been watching Ruby fly, studying her whenever she could, and although she might be more experienced, Lizzie was no longer so confident that she was the best flyer at Hamble. If Ruby wasn’t as good as her yet, she was a close second, and she knew there’d be stiff competition between them to finish top of the class. They all took their bags and walked the short distance to the Savoy.
‘S
o tell me about him. When’s this fella going to make an honest woman of you?’ Lizzie asked, as they all dodged right around some fallen debris from a building that had recently been hit near their hotel.
‘After defying his mother, I’d say we’ll be having a quiet ceremony, just the two of us, once the war is over,’ Ruby replied. ‘If we get married at all. We’ll say our vows and get on with our life, I suppose.’
‘Oh Ruby, surely he’ll come around. Did the old bat really give you a four-week ultimatum?’ Polly asked.
‘She certainly did.’
‘The whole thing sounds unromantic, if you ask me,’ Lizzie said. ‘Sorry, but after everything, if you both survive the war and things go back to normal, you deserve a big celebration, don’t you think?’
‘Lizzie! Leave her alone!’ Polly cried.
‘Americans,’ Ruby muttered. ‘They warned us about you, you know? Brash and bold, that’s what we were told, and you haven’t disappointed.’
Lizzie tipped her head back. ‘Well, I wouldn’t say bold exactly, would you?’
Ruby gave her a look before bursting into laughter with Polly, the two of them leaning their heads together like it was the funniest thing in the world. ‘And for the record, I didn’t ask for your opinion on our wedding plans! Honestly, you seem to be an expert on everything!’
‘Ladies,’ said a handsome soldier with his dark hair combed back, holding the door to the hotel wide open for them.
Lizzie gave Ruby a nudge and smiled demurely as he passed by, before they all erupted into laughter again.
‘You’re the most terrible influence,’ Ruby said, still smiling as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. ‘Absolutely terrible, Lizzie, you know that?’
‘But I’ve made you want to beat me, haven’t I? The only thing you can blame me for is giving you some stiff competition in the sky.’
‘Or being a total pain in all our behinds,’ Polly moaned.
Ruby gave Lizzie a hard stare. ‘We’re off duty, Liz. I don’t want to talk about who’s going to get the first flight, not while we’re here. May wanted us to be friends and all get along, so that’s exactly what we’re going to do.’
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