by Aileen Erin
Cold hands pressed against my shoulders and the pain tore another scream from me.
“Just hang in there.” Audrey was calm, and I had to trust her. “Focus on my words, Maité. Nanos will be done in a few hours. This is bad, but you can do this. You will survive.”
I concentrated on breathing, but I wasn’t sure she was right. Not this time.
I glanced at Audrey. My breath came in quick gasps, and I could see the tears pooling in her eyes.
If she was crying, then this was bad.
“Need. Pass. Out.” My throat ached with the words.
A tear slipped down her cheek. “Don’t fight it. Pass out. I got you.”
This time, I didn’t fight it.
When I woke up the second time, the pain was gone. Audrey was curled in a ball, sleeping on a sheet on the floor beside me. I held the thin sheet that covered my naked body to my chest and sat up.
Audrey jumped to her feet.
I held up my hands. “I’m okay.”
“Sorry. I just—” She held a hand over her heart. “It’s been a long night. Are you in pain?”
I shook my head. “What day is it?” My chest tightened as I waited for her answer. I hoped I hadn’t slept too long.
“Wednesday. It’s Wednesday night. You’ve been here for a day and a half.”
Tomorrow was the test.
“Nanos must’ve burnt off.” Audrey’s face was pale and dark circles hung low under her eyes, and I knew it was because of me.
“Yep.” I couldn’t feel them at all, which meant they’d spent all their energy fixing me. It wasn’t that I hated nanos—I’d been thankful that they existed since I arrived on Abaddon—but they were so painful.
I wiped my face with my hand, and my skin felt rough. I stared down at my hands. “What’s up with my hands?”
Audrey stepped toward me, inspecting them. “Some of the blisters formed calluses. They’re not very thick—they probably won’t impede your movement or hand control—but I could give you another round of na—”
I pulled my hand away from her. “Don’t you dare!”
She smiled. “They don’t look perfect. There could be more damage underneath, and if you’ve got them on your hands, you might have them other places.”
“So I won’t have silky smooth skin in some spots. Who cares?” If anyone was going to judge me by the texture of my skin, then I wanted nothing to do with them. “How late is it?”
“Late. Tyler left already. We should get going, too. I’d love to sleep on something that’s not concrete.”
“Sorry. You didn’t have to stay.”
She grabbed my wrist. “I didn’t mean it like that. Even if it wasn’t my job, I was happy to stay with you, but let’s go get some rest. You’re going to need it.”
There was a knock on the door and a fraction of a second later, Ahiga slipped inside the room. The concern on his face eased as he saw me sitting up. “How are you?”
“I survived.” The pain had been excruciating, but the memory of it would fade—eventually. I hoped the nightmares would, too.
“Good.” He grabbed one of the rolling stools and sat down in front of me. “I’m making the call. I’m starting the process of getting you out of here, however your people see fit. I just… I can’t sit by and watch you die. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I realized I should’ve called already. I made a mistake—”
“No.” He couldn’t think that. I wouldn’t let him. “No, you didn’t. We didn’t know how bad this job was going to go. And for a few days, nothing happened out there.”
“But it was bad this time. You…You dying means war. Us calling means war, but you live. It’s a no-brainer at this point.”
I swallowed down the failure that I felt. Going out there day after day wasn’t helping anyone. It wasn’t my failure. I wasn’t quitting. I was just leaving a losing game.
“Okay.”
“I can only send words—no images or video. That would be too easy to intercept. Is there anything you can think of—any saying or something your dad told you or anything that only you would know about your dad—that could help prove that you’re really here and that I’m not trying to trick them.”
I thought hard but came up with nothing. I couldn’t remember my father. “No. There’s nothing.”
“That’s okay. It was a stretch with you being so young when…” His gaze moved over my body as if to check to make sure I was okay.
I was alive. That was as okay I was going to get right then.
“It might take a day for them to get my message through these channels,” Ahiga said. “For it to be authenticated, maybe another day. Hopefully, you’re out of here in five. Not as fast as Declan would get it done, but it’s better than waiting for him to wake up from cryo.”
God. I hated that it came to this.
“When will you know?” Audrey asked. “I’d rather not have any more torture sessions.”
“I don’t know.” There was a twinge of helplessness in his voice, and it killed me to see someone so strong feel that way. It reminded me too much of how I felt.
“Have you found out about the weapon?”
Matthew had come around to our side, but he didn’t want to compromise his position. He liked being in-the-know on the base and talking to Ahiga was dangerous for him.
Ahiga shook his head. “No. Even Matt doesn’t know what it is, but they transferred more lucole to the lab yesterday. He says they’ve taken something off site a couple of times in the last week, too. We’re assuming it’s for testing, but all we know is that lucole goes into the labs and doesn’t come out. But he did notice something interesting—a few ships that have left here were later tagged as destroyed.”
I didn’t like the sound of that.
“Whatever it is, they’re testing it, and I don’t think it’s going well.”
That was a win. One we needed, badly. “So it’s not ready yet?”
“That’s my hope.” He paused for a second. “Probably good for you to know that Bay Six and Two are now empty, and half of Bay Seven.”
That was fast. “Something tells me that I need to be gone before they’ve emptied all the bays.”
“Sounds like it,” Audrey said. “This is coming together fast. What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to keep my plan.” I had to stay the course. I didn’t have a lot of other options. “The test is tomorrow. I only need to be in the suit for an hour.” But even thinking about putting it on again and going back out there made my heart race and my breath short and my stomach feel like it was being tossed and turned.
“You can do it.” Ahiga leaned forward until all I could see was his face. “You can do this. You hear me?”
I nodded, blinking back the tears before they could fall.
“I already took care of the tracker I implanted in the courtroom.”
The tracker. I’d forgotten. “It’s still working?” I never felt any updates. At this point, I figured it was more for show than anything else.
He leaned back from me and waggled his hand in the air. “Eh. More or less.” He shrugged, and it didn’t fill me with confidence. “It’s something that Declan and his friend had been working on. More compatible for your kind, but still syncs with our systems.”
“I could take out the chip in your finger,” Audrey said. “It’s just dead tech right now. Why keep something implanted that you don’t need?”
It was a pain to get it, and I’d hated the thing with every fiber of my being, but it’d been such a pain to get it put in… What if I needed it again? “It’s fine. I think I’ve got enough to worry about without thinking about the dead chip.”
“Let’s focus on the test,” Ahiga said. “You pass that, you’ll get thrown into training. Usually takes a day or two before you have to do your first run. Maybe more. It could buy us some time to get you out of here without another dose of nanos.”
“Okay.” I had to make this work. I had to pass the te
st. Ahiga had managed to get me a copy of a practice test, but it wasn’t the version that was given here. So the fact that I did fine on the practice test didn’t necessarily mean anything.
“I’ll be around. Watching, as always.” He pulled me against his chest.
I held onto the sheet with one hand and leaned into him. The fact that Ahiga was hugging me told me how bad it’d gotten. I didn’t remember the last time I’d been really hugged hard like this.
“You scared me this time.”
I patted his back. “I scared me, too.” It was something I didn’t want to repeat.
He leaned back. “All else fails, I’m not opposed to stealing a SpaceTech ship and trying to make a run for it.”
That was an incredibly dumb idea, and we both knew it. “We wouldn’t make it far.”
“No. But at least we’d go down with a fight. An honorable death, instead of this shit Jason is pulling.”
I almost laughed, but the look on his face was too fierce.
He was out of his mind.
Audrey’s eyes were wide, and her face was deathly pale as she looked back and forth between us. “It can’t come to that. You… That’s just…”
“We’ll see.” Ahiga stood from his stool and gave my leg a barely there pat. “I’ll let you know if there’s an update.”
“Ahiga?” I asked before he could open the door.
“What?”
“Why are you helping me? Why would you give up your life to help me run?” Stealing a ship from SpaceTech? That was massively insane.
His jaw ticced a few times, and then he let out a long, slow breath. “When you’re safely away from here, I’ll tell you my story.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
The door closed behind him, and I looked at Audrey. “Holy shit.”
She ran a hand down her face. “Holy shit is right. That was intense. The look he just gave you?”
She was right. The look in Ahiga’s eyes was equal parts sorrow, hope, and determination. At least that’s what it looked like to me. I wasn’t sure I knew him well enough to fully understand him or why he was helping me.
“I’m not going to think about that right now. One thing at a time.” I hopped off the table, and my head swam a little. Not wanting to give Audrey any reason to stay here longer than we already had, I shook it off.
Audrey handed me some clothes, and I quickly dressed. I didn’t like to stay in the med bay for longer than I had to. I didn’t exactly have fond feelings for it.
We were both lost in our own thoughts as we wandered through the hallways, heading up the stairs to our quarters.
“So Tyler left?” I asked after a bit. I needed something to talk about that wasn’t so life-or-death or intergalactic war. “You two have a fight?”
She laughed. “Stop trying to play matchmaker. Nothing is happening with us while I’m on this base.”
“How much more time do you have?” She’d probably already told me while the nanos were at work, but sometimes it was hard to pay attention to her actual words.
“Three years. Been here a year already.”
“Yikes.” That was longer than my sentence.
She shrugged. “It’s not a bad gig. Plus, I’m here to help you.”
“Why not give Tyler a break? At least enjoy the time you have together.”
“No.” The word left no wiggle room, but I couldn’t leave it at that. Not after Tyler had been so awesome to me.
“But—”
“No. I can’t.” The thread of pain in her voice worried me. “He’s done here in a couple months. He’ll be back on Earth. He might have a girl back there or he might meet someone when he gets home. Two years of waiting with no contact is a lot to ask. And I don’t want to be here pining away. Thinking about what he might be doing. Wondering if he’s found someone else. It’s hard enough on this base without all that.”
“He wouldn’t cheat on you.” If there was anything I’d learned about Tyler these last few days, it was that he was head over heels for her.
“You don’t know that for sure. Neither does he. Life… It takes so many twists and turns. Nothing is guaranteed, and I already care too much. When he leaves, it’s going to be tough. I really can’t make my stay here any harder than it already is.”
“I just want you two to be happy.”
She gave me a sad smile. “I don’t think that’s a real option on Abaddon, but I won’t always be here. Maybe once I’m done with my time here, he’ll still be single, and we’ll see. But not before.”
I got what she was saying, but I envied the way that Tyler looked at her. I wished someone felt that way about me. Hell, I wished I felt that way about someone. I’d never had that with anyone—not even Haden—and they were here together for a little while. I hated to see them wasting this time.
“How about you?” Audrey’s question shook me free from my thoughts.
“Me?” What was she talking about? “And Tyler? Gross. No.”
She stopped walking and bent over. Her shaking breaths were the only indication that she was laughing.
“Well, what the hell did you mean? I’m here talking about you and Tyler, and you ask me that?”
She straightened but held her hands to her stomach as she got control of herself. “No. I meant—” She started laughing again.
I crossed my arms. “Come on. It wasn’t that funny.”
Audrey wiped her eyes. “It was. You and Tyler. No. Just no.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “All right. Cut it out. It’s seriously not that funny.”
She took a shaky breath. “What I meant was, do you have anyone here or somewhere else?”
I snorted. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of the people that think I’m with Santiago.” At home, everyone assumed Roan and I were a thing. On Abaddon, everyone thought I was with John freaking Santiago. Apparently, it didn’t matter where you were, any girl-boy relationship was assumed to be romantic, even if it was anything but.
She shook her head. “No. I don’t see you and Santiago together.”
“Thank God someone here has half a brain. That’s so not happening.” No matter what the rumors were. “Why?”
“You don’t talk about your life on Earth. I’ve told you everything.”
I bumped her shoulder with mine. “Only because you’ve been talking me through the torture sessions.”
“I know, but come on. You have someone back at home. Anyone?”
Declan popped into my head, and I must’ve been tired because Audrey noticed.
“Aha! I knew it. There is someone!”
I shook my head. “No. There’s no one. Honestly. There was a vague possibility that maybe something might eventually grow into something with this guy I’d just met, but I’m here now. Finding a way out of spending another day in that suit on the surface of Abaddon is all I can care about. I don’t know how many times I can burn alive before I lose my mind. I can’t even get away from it when I sleep. My nightmares are getting worse and—”
She put her arm around my waist. “You’re going to pass the test.”
My stomach knotted as we started up the stairs to our quarters. “I have to.” There wasn’t another option.
“You will. You told me yourself, eleven days ago, that you could do it in your sleep. So do it.” She placed her hand on the scanner and waited for the beep before swinging open the door.
Inside, the room was quiet and dark. Everyone was already asleep. I tiptoed in and stood by my bunk. A shower sounded lovely but might wake everyone up.
I collapsed on my thin mattress and closed my eyes. Tomorrow was everything. It could change my life. Or be the end of any hope I had left.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I finished the last bite of my breakfast and nodded to Ahiga and Santiago. “Later.”
Ahiga gave me a long look. I wasn’t sure what it meant exactly. To be careful? I was going to do my best. I just hoped that whatever message he’d sent to the Aunare m
ade it.
There was nothing either of us could say to each other, not here, so I got up and walked away.
“Chica!” Santiago called before I got to the end of the table.
I raised an eyebrow at him. “What?” I yelled back.
“Be careful out there. Pace yourself. Stronger Together.” Santiago had become my big brother on Abaddon, yelling to anyone who would hear him that my job was total bullshit, but he didn’t realize there was nothing anyone could do about it. He didn’t know that I was going to try to fix this whole mess today.
“Stronger Together,” I said back to him and started down the aisle.
“Stay safe!” Someone yelled out, and one of the guys from my classes waved at me. I couldn’t remember his name, but he was nice.
“Going to do my best.”
I’d taught classes five times so far, and that had gained me some friends. Because I was doing such an unusually shitty job that ended with me at the medic after almost every workday, more and more people seemed to be looking out for me. Or maybe they were just wondering how long I’d survive. I was pretty sure someone on the base was taking bets.
Audrey came out from the kitchen, meeting me halfway to the trash. Ready for her shift, she was wearing a pair of navy scrubs with her hair in a tight bun. The rest of the girls from my bunk were in the kitchen, too. They felt like they could relax back there and not worry about who was coming up behind them, which was totally understandable once I heard some of their stories.
I’d gotten to know a few of the girls, especially Tabitha, the blonde from the gym. She was part of the janitorial crew and was way too sweet to be on Abaddon. Audrey said Tabitha had gotten into trouble a couple times during her shift and came back with bruises and a split lip. There wasn’t anything the ladies could do about it though. Aside from the kitchen staff, they were out there alone while they worked.
For better or worse, that wasn’t something I had to deal with. No one was going to put on a suit and venture onto Abaddon’s surface to harass me, and even if they did, I could take care of myself.
I’d eaten with the women in the kitchen a few times, but I preferred to be in the main room. Aside from the gym, it was the only time I got to see Santiago. He was the highlight of my days on Abaddon. Being with him made me feel like home wasn’t so far away. Plus, he cracked me up.