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"OreSeur," she said, "what was your life like before you were recruited by Kelsier?"
"I dont see what that has to do with finding the impostor, Mistress," OreSeur said.
"It doesnt have anything to do with that," Vin said. "I just thought maybe I should get to know you better. "
"My apologies, Mistress, but I dont want you to know me. "
Vin sighed. So much for that.
But. . . well, Kelsier and the others hadnt turned away when shed been blunt with them. There was a familiar tone to OreSeurs words. Something in them that she recognized.
"Anonymity," Vin said quietly.
"Mistress?"
"Anonymity. Hiding, even when youre with others. Being quiet, unobtrusive. Forcing yourself to stay apart—emotionally, at least. Its a way of life. A protection. "
OreSeur didnt answer.
"You serve beneath masters," Vin said. "Harsh men who fear your competence. The only way to keep them from hating you is to make certain they dont pay attention to you. So, you make yourself look small and weak. Not a threat. But sometimes you say the wrong thing, or you let your rebelliousness show. "
She turned toward him. He was watching her. "Yes," he finally said, turning to look back over the city.
"They hate you," Vin said quietly. "They hate you because of your powers, because they cant make you break your word, or because they worry that you are too strong to control. "
"They become afraid of you," OreSeur said. "They grow paranoid—terrified, even as they use you, that you will take their place. Despite the Contract, despite knowing that no kandra would break his sacred vow, they fear you. And men hate what they fear. "
"And so," Vin said, "they find excuses to beat you. Sometimes, even your efforts to remain harmless seem to provoke them. They hate your skill, they hate the fact that they dont have more reasons to beat you, so they beat you. "
OreSeur turned back to her. "How do you know these things?" he demanded.
Vin shrugged. "Thats not only how they treat kandra, OreSeur. Thats the same way crewleaders treat a young girl—an anomaly in a thieving underground filled with men. A child who had a strange ability to make things happen—to influence people, to hear what she shouldnt, to move more quietly and quickly than others. A tool, yet a threat at the same time. "
"I. . . didnt realize, Mistress. . . . "
Vin frowned. How could he not have known about my past? He knew I was a street urchin. Except. . . had he? For the first time, Vin realized how OreSeur must have seen her two years before, when shed first met him. He had arrived in the area after her recruitment; he probably assumed that shed been part of Kelsiers team for years, like the others.
"Kelsier recruited me for the first time just a few days before I met you," Vin said. "Well, actually, he didnt so much recruit me as rescue me. I spent my childhood serving in one thieving crew after another, always working for the least reputable and most dangerous men, for those were the only ones who would take in a couple of transients like my brother and me. The smart crewleaders learned that I was a good tool. Im not sure if they figured out that I was an Allomancer—some probably did, others just thought I was lucky. Either way, they needed me. And that made them hate me. "
"So they beat you?"
Vin nodded. "The last one especially. That was when I was really beginning to figure out how to use Allomancy, even though I didnt know what it was. Camon knew, though. And he hated me even as he used me. I think he was afraid that I would figure out how to use my powers fully. And on that day, he worried that I would kill him. . . " Vin turned her head, looking at OreSeur. "Kill him and take his place as crewleader. "
OreSeur sat quietly, up on his haunches now, regarding her.
"Kandra arent the only ones that humans treat poorly," Vin said quietly. "Were pretty good at abusing each other, too. "
OreSeur snorted. "With you, at least, they had to hold back for fear theyd kill you. Have you ever been beaten by a master who knows that no matter how hard he hits, you wont die? All he has to do is get you a new set of bones, and youll be ready to serve again the next day. We are the ultimate servant—you can beat us to death in the morning, then have us serve you dinner that night. All the sadism, none of the cost. "
Vin closed her eyes. "I understand. I wasnt a kandra, but I did have pewter. I think Camon knew he could beat me far harder than he should have been able to. "
"Why didnt you run?" OreSeur asked. "You didnt have a Contract bonding you to him. "
"I. . . dont know," Vin said. "People are strange, OreSeur, and loyalty is so often twisted. I stayed with Camon because he was familiar, and I feared leaving more than I did staying. That crew was all I had. My brother was gone, and I was terrified of being alone. It seems kind of strange now, thinking back. "
"Sometimes a bad situation is still better than the alternative. You did what you needed to do to survive. "
"Perhaps," Vin said. "But theres a better way, OreSeur. I didnt know it until Kelsier found me, but life doesnt have to be like that. You dont have to spend your years mistrusting, staying in the shadows and keeping yourself apart. "
"Perhaps if you are human. I am kandra. "
"You can still trust," Vin said. "You dont have to hate your masters. "
"I dont hate them all, Mistress. "
"But you dont trust them. "
"It is nothing personal, Mistress. "
"Yes it is," Vin said. "You dont trust us because youre afraid well hurt you. I understand that—I spent months with Kelsier wondering when I was going to get hurt again. "
She paused. "But OreSeur, nobody betrayed us. Kelsier was right. It seems incredible to me even now, but the men in this crew—Ham, Dockson, Breeze—theyre good people. And, even if one of them were to betray me, Id still rather have trusted them. I can sleep at night, OreSeur. I can feel peace, I can laugh. Life is different. Better. "
"You are human," OreSeur said stubbornly. "You can have friends because they dont worry that youll eat them, or some other foolishness. "
"I dont think that about you. "
"Dont you? Mistress, you just admitted that you resent me because I ate Kelsier. Beyond that, you hate the fact that I followed my Contract. You, at least, have been honest.
"Human beings find us disturbing. They hate that we eat their kind, even though we only take bodies that are already dead. Your people find it unsettling that we can take their forms. Dont tell me that you havent heard the legends of my people. Mistwraiths, they call us—creatures that steal the shapes of men who go into the mists. You think a monster like that, a legend used to frighten children, will ever find acceptance in your society?"
Vin frowned.
"This is the reason for the Contract, Mistress," OreSeur said, his muffled voice harsh as he spoke through dogs lips. "You wonder why we dont just run away from you? Meld into your society, and become unseen? We tried that. Long ago, when the Final Empire was new. Your people found us, and they started to destroy us. They used Mistborn to hunt us down, for there were many more Allomancers in those days. Your people hated us because they feared we would replace them. We were almost completely destroyed—and then we came up with the Contract. "
"But, what difference does that make?" Vin asked. "Youre still doing the same things, arent you?"
"Yes, but now we do them at your command," OreSeur said. "Men like power, and they love controlling something powerful. Our people offered to serve, and we devised a binding contract—one that every kandra vowed to uphold. We will not kill men. We will take bones only when we are commanded. We will serve our masters with absolute obedience. We began to do these things, and men stopped killing us. They still hated and feared us—but they also knew they could command us.
"We became your tools. As long as we remain subservient, Mistress, we survive. And that is why I obey. To break the Contract would
be to betray my people. We cannot fight you, not while you have Mistborn, and so we must serve you. "
Mistborn. Why are Mistborn so important? He implied that they could find kandra. . . .
She kept this tidbit to herself; she sensed that if she pointed it out, hed close up again. So, instead, she sat up and met his eyes in the darkness. "If you wish, I will free you from your Contract. "
"And what would that change?" OreSeur asked. "Id just get another Contract. By our laws I must wait another decade before I have time for freedom—and then only two years, during which time I wont be able to leave the kandra Homeland. To do otherwise would risk exposure. "
"Then, at least accept my apology," she asked. "I was foolish to resent you for following your Contract. "
OreSeur paused. "That still doesnt fix things, Mistress. I still have to wear this cursed dogs body—I have no personality or bones to imitate!"
"Id think that you would appreciate the opportunity simply to be yourself. "
"I feel naked," OreSeur said. He sat quietly for a moment; then he bowed his head. "But. . . I have to admit that there are advantages to these bones. I didnt realize how unobtrusive they would make me. "
Vin nodded. "There were times in my life when I would have given anything to be able to take the form of a dog and just live my life being ignored. "
"But not anymore?"
Vin shook her head. "No. Not most of the time, anyway. I used to think that everyone was like you say—hateful, hurtful. But there are good people in the world, OreSeur. I wish I could prove that to you. "
"You speak of this king of yours," OreSeur said, glancing toward the keep.
"Yes," Vin said. "And others. "
"You?"
Vin shook her head. "No, not me. Im not a good person or a bad person. Im just here to kill things. "
OreSeur watched her for a moment, then settled back down. "Regardless," he said, "you are not my worst master. That is, perhaps, a compliment among our people. "
Vin smiled, but her own words left her a bit haunted. Just here to kill things. . . .
She glanced toward the light of the armies outside the city. A part—the part that had been trained by Reen, the part that still occasionally used his voice in the back of her mind—whispered that there was another way to fight these armies. Rather than rely on politics and parlays, the crew could use Vin. Send her on a quiet visit into the night that left the kings and generals of the armies dead.
But, she knew that Elend wouldnt approve of something like that. Hed argue against using fear to motivate, even on ones enemies. Hed point out that if she killed Straff or Cett, theyd just be replaced by other men, men even more hostile toward the city.
Even so, it seemed like such a brutal, logical answer. A piece of Vin itched to do it, if only to be doing something other than waiting and talking. She was not a person meant to be besieged.
No, she thought. Thats not my way. I dont have to be like Kelsier was. Hard. Unyielding. I can be something better. Something that trusts in Elends way.
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