by T. S. Eliot
VIOLET. Pushed her?
HARRY. You would never imagine anyone could sink so quickly.
I had always supposed, wherever I went
That she would be with me; whatever I did
That she was unkillable. It was not like that.
Everything is true in a different sense.
I expected to find her when I went back to the cabin.
Later, I became excited, I think I made enquiries;
The purser and the steward were extremely sympathetic
And the doctor very attentive.
That night I slept heavily, alone.
AMY. Harry!
CHARLES. You mustn’t indulge such dangerous fancies.
It’s only doing harm to your mother and yourself.
Of course we know what really happened, we read it in the papers —
No need to revert to it. Remember, my boy,
I understand, your life together made it seem more horrible.
There’s a lot in my own past life that presses on my chest
When I wake, as I do now, early before morning.
I understand these feelings better than you know —
But you have no reason to reproach yourself.
Your conscience can be clear.
HARRY. It goes a good deal deeper
Than what people call their conscience; it is just the cancer
That eats away the self. I knew how you would take it.
First of all, you isolate the single event
As something so dreadful that it couldn’t have happened,
Because you could not bear it. So you must believe
That I suffer from delusions. It is not my conscience,
Not my mind, that is diseased, but the world I have to live in.
— I lay two days in contented drowsiness;
Then I recovered. I am afraid of sleep:
A condition in which one can be caught for the last time.
And also waking. She is nearer than ever.
The contamination has reached the marrow
And they are always near. Here, nearer than ever.
They are very close here. I had not expected that.
AMY. Harry, Harry, you are very tired
And overwrought. Coming so far
And making such haste, the change is too sudden for you.
You are unused to our foggy climate
And the northern country. When you see Wishwood
Again by day, all will be the same again.
I beg you to go now and rest before dinner.
Get Downing to draw you a hot bath,
And you will feel better.
AGATHA. There are certain points I do not yet understand:
They will be clear later. I am also convinced
That you only hold a fragment of the explanation.
It is only because of what you do not understand
That you feel the need to declare what you do.
There is more to understand: hold fast to that
As the way to freedom.
HARRY. I think I see what you mean,
Dimly — as you once explained the sobbing in the chimney
The evil in the dark closet, which they said was not there,
Which they explained away, but you explained them
Or at least, made me cease to be afraid of them.
I will go and have my bath.
[Exit]
GERALD. God preserve us!
I never thought it would be as bad as this.
VIOLET. There is only one thing to be done:
Harry must see a doctor.
IVY. But I understand —
I have heard of such cases before — that people in his condition
Often betray the most immoderate resentment
At such a suggestion. They can be very cunning —
Their malady makes them so. They do not want to be cured
And they know what you are thinking.
CHARLES. He has probably let this notion grow in his mind,
Living among strangers, with no one to talk to.
I suspect it is simply that the wish to get rid of her
Makes him believe he did. He cannot trust his good fortune.
I believe that all he needs is someone to talk to,
To get it off his mind. I’ll have a talk to him tomorrow.
AMY. Most certainly not, Charles, you are not the right person.
I prefer to believe that a few days at Wishwood
Among his own family, is all that he needs.
GERALD. Nevertheless, Amy, there’s something in Violet’s suggestion.
Why not ring up Warburton, and ask him to join us?
He’s an old friend of the family, it’s perfectly natural
That he should be asked. He looked after all the boys
When they were children. I’ll have a word with him.
He can talk to Harry, and Harry need have no suspicion.
I’d trust Warburton’s opinion.
AMY. If anyone speaks to Dr. Warburton
It should be myself. What does Agatha think?
AGATHA. It seems a necessary move
In an unnecessary action,
Not for the good that it will do
But that nothing may be left undone
On the margin of the impossible.
AMY. Very well.
I will ring up the doctor myself.
[Exit]
CHARLES. Meanwhile, I have an idea. Why not question Downing?
He’s been with Harry ten years, he’s absolutely discreet.
He was with them on the boat. He might be of use.
IVY. Charles! you don’t really suppose
That he might have pushed her over?
CHARLES. In any case, I shouldn’t blame Harry.
I might have done the same thing once, myself.
Nobody knows what he’s likely to do
Until there’s somebody he wants to get rid of.
GERALD. Even so, we don’t want Downing to know
Any more than he knows already.
And even if he knew, it’s very much better
That he shouldn’t know that we knew it also.
Why not let sleeping dogs lie?
CHARLES. All the same, there’s a question or two
[Rings the bell]
That I’d like to ask Downing.
He shan’t know why I’m asking.
[Enter DENMAN]
Denman, where is Downing? Is he up with his Lordship?
DENMAN. He’s out in the garage, Sir, with his Lordship’s car.
CHARLES. Tell him I’d like to have a word with him, please.
[Exit DENMAN]
VIOLET. Charles, if you are determined upon this investigation.
Which I am convinced is going to lead us nowhere,
And which I am sure Amy would disapprove of —
I only wish to express my emphatic protest
Both against your purpose and the means you are employing.
CHARLES. My purpose is, to find out what’s wrong with Harry:
Until we know that, we can do nothing for him.
And as for my means, we can’t afford to be squeamish
In taking hold of anything that comes to hand.
If you are interested in helping Harry
You can hardly object to the means.
VIOLET. I do object.
IVY. And I wish to associate myself with my sister
In her objections —
AGATHA. I have no objection,
Any more than I object to asking Dr. Warburton:
I only see that this is all quite irrelevant;
We had better leave Charles to talk to Downing
And pursue his own methods.
[Rises]
VIOLET. I do not agree.
I think there should be witnesses. I intend to remain.
And I wish to be present to hear what Downing says.
I want to know at once, not be told about it later.
IVY. And I shall stay with Violet.
AGATHA. I shall return
When Downing has left you.
[Exit]
CHARLES. Well, I’m very sorry
You all see it like this: but there simply are times
When there’s nothing to do but take the bull by the horns,
And this is one.
[Knock: and enter DOWNING]
CHARLES. Good evening, Downing.
It’s good to see you again, after all these years.
You’re well, I hope?
DOWNING. Thank you, very well indeed, Sir.
CHARLES. I’m sorry to send for you so abruptly,
But I’ve a question I’d like to put to you,
I’m sure you won’t mind, it’s about his Lordship.
You’ve looked after his Lordship for over ten years …
DOWNING. Eleven years, Sir, next Lady Day.
CHARLES. Eleven years, and you know him pretty well.
And I’m sure that you’ve been a good friend to him, too.
We haven’t seen him for nearly eight years;
And to tell the truth, now that we’ve seen him,
We’re a little worried about his health.
He doesn’t seem to be … quite himself.
DOWNING. Quite natural, if I may say so, Sir,
After what happened.
CHARLES. Quite so, quite.
Downing, you were with them on the voyage from New York —
We didn’t learn very much about the circumstances;
We only knew what we read in the papers —
Of course, there was a great deal too much in the papers.
Downing, do you think that it might have been suicide,
And that his Lordship knew it?
DOWNING. Unlikely, Sir, if I may say so.
Much more likely to have been an accident.
I mean, knowing her Ladyship,
I don’t think she had the courage.
CHARLES. Did she ever talk of suicide?
DOWNING. Oh yes, she did, every now and again.
But in my opinion, it is those that talk
That are the least likely. To my way of thinking
She only did it to frighten people.
If you take my meaning — just for the effect.
CHARLES. I understand, Downing. Was she in good spirits?
DOWNING. Well, always about the same, Sir.
What I mean is, always up and down.
Down in the morning, and up in the evening,
And then she used to get rather excited,
And, in a way, irresponsible, Sir.
If I may make so bold, Sir,
I always thought that a very few cocktails
Went a long way with her Ladyship.
She wasn’t one of those that are designed for drinking:
It’s natural for some and unnatural for others.
CHARLES. And how was his Lordship, during the voyage?
DOWNING. Well, you might say depressed, Sir.
But you know his Lordship was always very quiet:
Very uncommon that I saw him in high spirits.
For what my judgment’s worth, I always said his Lordship
Suffered from what they call a kind of repression.
But what struck me … more nervous than usual;
I mean to say, you could see that he was nervous.
He behaved as if he thought something might happen.
CHARLES. What sort of thing?
DOWNING. Well, I don’t know, Sir.
But he seemed very anxious about my Lady.
Tried to keep her in when the weather was rough,
Didn’t like to see her lean over the rail.
He was in a rare fright, once or twice.
But you know, it is just my opinion, Sir,
That his Lordship is rather psychic, as they say.
CHARLES. Were they always together?
DOWNING. Always, Sir.
That was just my complaint against my Lady.
It’s my opinion that man and wife
Shouldn’t see too much of each other, Sir.
Quite the contrary of the usual opinion,
I dare say. She wouldn’t leave him alone.
And there’s my complaint against these ocean liners
With all their swimming baths and gymnasiums
There’s not even a place where a man can go
For a quiet smoke, where the women can’t follow him.
She wouldn’t leave him out of her sight.
CHARLES. During that evening, did you see him?
DOWNING. Oh yes, Sir, I’m sure I saw him.
I don’t mean to say that he had any orders —
His Lordship is always most considerate
About keeping me up. But when I say I saw him,
I mean that I saw him accidental.
You see, Sir, I was down in the Tourist,
And I took a bit of air before I went to bed,
And you could see the corner of the upper deck.
And I remember, there I saw his Lordship
Leaning over the rail, looking at the water —
There wasn’t a moon, but I was sure it was him.
While I took my turn about, for near half an hour
He stayed there alone, looking over the rail.
Her Ladyship must have been all right then,
Mustn’t she, Sir? or else he’d have known it.
CHARLES. Oh yes … quite so. Thank you, Downing,
I don’t think we need you any more.
GERALD. Oh, Downing,
Is there anything wrong with his Lordship’s car?
DOWNING. Oh no, Sir, she’s in good running order:
I see to that.
GERALD. I only wondered
Why you’ve been busy about it tonight.
DOWNING. Nothing wrong, Sir:
Only I like to have her always ready.
Would there be anything more, Sir?
GERALD. Thank you, Downing;
Nothing more.
[Exit DOWNING]
VIOLET. Well, Charles, I must say, with your investigations,
You seem to have left matters much as they were —
Except for having brought Downing into it:
Of which I disapprove.
CHARLES. Of which you disapprove.
But I believe that an unconscious accomplice is desirable.
CHORUS. Why should we stand here like guilty conspirators, waiting for some revelation
When the hidden shall be exposed, and the newsboy shall shout in the street?
When the private shall be made public, the common photographer
Flashlight for the picture papers: why do we huddle together
In a horrid amity of misfortune? why should we be implicated, brought in and brought together?
IVY. I do not trust Charles with his confident vulgarity, acquired from worldly associates.
GERALD. Ivy is only concerned for herself, and her credit among her shabby genteel acquaintance.
VIOLET. Gerald is certain to make some blunder, he is useless out of the army.
CHARLES. Violet is afraid that her status as Amy’s sister will be diminished.
CHORUS. We all of us make the pretension
To be the uncommon exception
To the universal bondage.
We like to appear in the newspapers
So long as we are in the right column.
We know about the railway accident
We know about the sudden thrombosis
And the slowly hardening artery.
We like to be thought well of by others
So that we may think well of ourselves.
And any explanation will satisfy: