“Yeah, but I’m sure the other guy looks worse.”
Caleb relaxed visibly. “Of that, I have no doubt you are correct.”
“So…about my answers.” She grabbed her cup of coffee and gestured for him to take a seat on the sofa. “Oh, where are my manners? Would you like a cup?”
“No, thanks.” He sat down. “You don’t mince words do you?”
Not when this much was at stake she didn’t. Instead of answering him, she took the chair opposite and waited for him to continue.
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“What was that thing? You said you’d explain everything.” She folded her legs into the chair to stop from bouncing them on the floor in nervous anticipation. Was the world crazy, or was she?
“You mean the man that attacked you?” He asked. His gaze darkened.
“Was it a man?” She hinted, not daring to say the word ‘demon’ out loud.
“Yeah, a drug addict I bet,” he ran a finger behind his ear, then rested his jaw on his hand. “From the way his skin was all mottled and scarred, probably meth. His eyes were dilated and blood shot. He was probably high at the time.” Her question finally seemed to register with him. “Wait. Is that not what you saw?”
Her cheeks grew hot with embarrassment. “Uh, no, not exactly.” It was the understatement of the year, but it was bad enough that now she had proof she was losing it. She didn’t need him to know it too.
“You did seem a little confused last night. Once I brought you home, I realized I probably should have called the police or taken you to a hospital, but at the time, I thought it more important to honor your wishes.”
Something still nagged at her. She could theoretically understand how her mind could morph the meth addict into a monster, but what about the demon’s fiery death and dusty disappearance? What happened to the body? “So, what happened to him anyway?”
“He ran off. I was going to follow him, but you had this dazed look about you. You were staring at the ground, and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving you alone.”
Grace wanted to sink deep into the couch cushions. How embarrassing. Instead she collected herself. “I appreciate that. I can’t thank you enough for what you did for me.” She smiled trying to mask her concern. His story made a hell of a lot more sense than hers. She couldn’t believe how vivid her memories of the event were, even knowing how completely distorted they must be. Apparently, she hadn’t deceived him.
“You’ll be alright.” He leaned forward to place a hand on her knee. She tried to ignore how it made her skin tingle. “It’s a lot to process. Give yourself a few days. Lie low.”
It sounded like a good idea. She’d love to hang out in her pajamas and binge on movies and junk food for days. But she knew herself better than that. She’d worry about the piles of paperwork growing on her desk and what that meant for all the children whose files she hadn’t gotten to yet. What if it meant one more day in an unfit home? What if that was the day something went wrong? Not to mention, she had a civic obligation to report the incident. She didn’t want this addict to attack someone else, and he himself also needed help.
“As much as I would love to follow your advice, I can’t. I have too much work to do. In fact, we should go down to the police station and file a report today.”
Grace was surprised when Caleb didn’t immediately say, “yes, of course.” Instead he replied, “You know I’ve heard that people who’ve had an experience like yours, feel empowered by learning to defend themselves. Maybe you should try that.”
“Yeah, sure, I guess that makes sense, but I need to go to the police first.” Her mind made up, she stood to go get dressed. She felt a twinge of regret as his hand slid from her knee. She’d liked his hand there more than she cared to admit. With effort, she shoved the silly thought aside. She had more important things to attend to. Step one, file a police report. Step two, call a shrink.
✽✽✽
Filing the police report had been an infuriating experience. Kalev couldn’t believe the questions they’d asked. What had she been wearing? Had she been drinking? Why had she been alone at night? He had been ready to jump across the desk and pummel the two cops right there and then. But Grace had handled herself with a poise and calmness that he would never have had if the situation had been reversed. She had only politely answered their questions and then casually mentioned that she did not see the relevance of their line of questioning. They insisted they were ‘just looking for motive’ but Kalev hadn’t bought it. They were looking for blame. It had been grimly satisfying when Grace had briefly taken the station chief aside and whispered something to her that had the chief storming back towards the interview room. Kalev had gotten the distinct impression that those two cops were going to regret coming to work today.
Now, he was sitting across from Grace at a quaint little coffee shop, watching her slowly sip a steaming cup of some coffee-esque beverage that she’d added too many qualifiers to for him to keep track of. Her ruby lips stood out against the white lid, gently curving around it. Why were they so mesmerizing?
“I was thinking of the comment you made earlier. Do you know of any good gyms in the area?” Grace said.
So, she was going to take his advice. Thank the Lord. “I’m not very familiar with the gyms around here, but I could teach you self-defense, if you want.” He silently crossed his fingers. Having an excuse to be around her would make his job a whole lot easier.
“That’s asking too much of you. I couldn’t impose.”
“No, really, it would be my pleasure. It’s kind of what I do.” He held his breath while she mulled it over.
“So you’re a personal trainer?”
“Something like that.”
“How much do you charge?” He could hear the hesitation. Personal trainers in the city didn’t come cheap. A gym membership with defense classes would probably put enough strain on her already tight budget.
“I don’t want your money. It wouldn’t feel right.” He already felt like a total scumbag for having put her in this situation in the first place. He couldn’t possibly take her money on top of it. She still looked skeptical. “I’ll tell you what. How let’s do a two-week trial, no charge. Then, if you like it, we can work something out.”
She pursed her lips. “Ok, that sounds fair.” She took out her phone. “When can you start?”
“How about now?”
“Now? Like right now?” She raised her eyebrows.
He hadn’t meant to sound so eager. “Well, it doesn’t –”
“No, now is fine.” She threw her phone in her bag. “Do you mind if I finish my coffee?”
“Take your time. I’ve got nowhere else to be.” He leaned back in his chair.
She had the cup midway to her lips when she paused and blurted, “Is that why you don’t drink coffee?”
“How do you know I don’t drink coffee?” Her question had caught him off guard.
“Well, I offered you a cup earlier and you declined, and you didn’t get anything to drink here. There is no way anyone who drinks coffee would turn down two opportunities in one morning.”
“Touché,” he replied. She was nothing if not observant. He had no idea how he was going to hide the fact that he didn’t eat or drink anything. If they spent more time together, she was bound to notice. “So what was the why?”
“Because you’re a trainer. You know, like the ‘my body is my temple’ kind of deal.”
“You got me,” he said, taking the out she had so nicely provided.
She took one last long swig, stood up, and chucked it in the trashcan nearby. “Then I’ll start by going to one cup a day.” She pointed a finger at him. “And if you get to know me, you’ll appreciate what a sacrifice that is.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. He did know her, and yes, for Ms. 4-5 Cups a Day, it would be.
Chapter 5
“Could push the couch and lamp against the wall? It will make more room.” Back in Gr
ace’s apartment, Kalev was trying to eye the space like a real trainer might. He didn’t doubt he could teach her, but he had no experience with how trainers actually conducted their business. He hoped he sounded professional.
“Oh, yes of course!” she said, swiftly moving to push the couch. He tried to help her, but she waved him off. “I’ve got it,” she said, giving it a shove. He could tell it was heavy for her, but she was clearly trying to demonstrate that she wasn’t helpless. Once finished, she looked up at him expectantly.
“The first thing we’ll work on is how to get away from an attacker so that you can run away.” Before a single protest could broach her lips, he continued, “And you should run away. Don’t try to play heroine and tie him up for the cops or something. Getting away should be your only priority.” Her glare indicated that she disagreed but would not argue with him – for now.
“More likely than not, he will try to ambush you from behind, just like the guy in the park. Come and stand in front of me, facing away from me.”
She did as he asked.
“Now, an attacker is most likely to go for one of two approaches. He will either grab you around the middle and try to knock you down at the same time, or he will grab you around the neck and pull you against him. We’ll try the latter option since there isn’t a whole lot of space here.”
“Okay,” she responded.
“Let’s run through it slowly first,” he said, then paused. He took a moment to prepare himself to touch her again. If he felt something again, he would ignore it. He wouldn’t be caught unaware like last time. Now that he was ready, he wouldn’t loose control.
Without further hesitation, he gently wrapped one arm around her neck and the other around her waist. Waves of sensations rushed over him like a flash flood in a dry river basin. IT was worse than before. Was this powerful, overwhelming attraction what humans experienced all the time? How did anyone deal with this?
“What should I do?”
Grace’s voice pulled him out of the torrent of his thoughts. He took a deep breath and forced himself to pay attention.
“Turn your head toward my elbow. See how it gives you more space to breathe?”
“Oh, that actually makes a difference!”
“Even a little bit of extra space can buy you time to get air. If you don’t, you’ve only got about twenty seconds before you pass out.”
“How do I get out?”
“Well, on a man you go for his groin first, but if he’s on enough drugs it won’t matter.”
“No kidding.”
“The next weakest point is the eyes. Use whatever you can to poke them out.”
“And if I can’t free my hands?”
“Slam your head back into his face, bite his arm, stomp on its feet, whatever you can move, attack with. All you need is for him to loosen his hold for a moment. After that, drop your center of gravity and roll free.”
“Okay. Got it,” Grace answered confidently.
“It’s easier in theory than in reality,” Kalev said. “Now try to get away from me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she said. Kalev had to bite back a laugh.
“You won’t.”
Grace started to struggle against him. He could tell she was treading carefully at first, unsure whether she believed she couldn’t hurt him. As she wriggled more forcefully against him, a trickle of sweat dripped down his forehead. Her writhing was pressing against him in all the right places. He wanted to move his hands from her neck and side and run them up and down her body. He wanted her to move like this on top of him. He wanted…
Oof. Grace had managed to elbow him in the gut while he wasn’t braced for it, causing him to loosen his grip. She did just as he’d told her and let herself drop like a rock and roll away from him. He wasn’t sure whether he was more impressed with her or mad at himself. She didn’t know it, but she wasn’t fighting fair.
“I did it!” she said, jumping to her feet with a spark of enthusiasm. A small smile curled at the corner of his lips.
“This time,” he said. Just this one time.
The two practiced for another hour. The ducking, grappling, jumping, and sparing was an exercise not only in self-defense for Grace but in self-control for Kalev. This was so much more difficult than he’d anticipated. He felt out of control of his own body—and his own thoughts. He had never been aware of the presence of a human being so acutely. Every move she made, every breath she took, he affected him. He had to be completely focused on her, so as not to accidentally hurt her, which forced him to pay attention to the exact pressure he put on each part of her body. It also meant he was aware of the taught, sinewy muscles of her arms and legs, and her soft, tender stomach and breasts. He didn’t dare let himself imagine her without clothes on.
✽✽✽
Grace nearly dismissed what Caleb had said about self-defense training but, when her visit to the police station had yielded more aggravation than catharsis, she’d more seriously considered it. She’d felt so helpless. She’d wanted to be able to defend herself. Maybe she’d only been fishing for an excuse to postpone calling a psychologist, but she’d run with it.
Now, however, Grace was questioning the wisdom of that decision. Grace hadn’t given much thought to the physical closeness this type of work would require. Although Caleb’s touches weren’t anything one wouldn’t expect from a defense instructor, each one made her shiver with awareness. Her cheeks were flushed, and she was a bit breathless, but instead of feeling tired, she felt alive. It was as if her body was an instrument tuned to play to his slightest touch. She had never responded to anyone this way. Not even her most intimate moments with Steve had elicited such a visceral response from her. Ironic that she should feel this way about someone whom she barely knew, at a time she wasn’t looking for anyone, and about a man who wasn’t interested in having a relationship in return. Maybe that’s why it was so amazing – he was someone she couldn’t have.
She forced herself to stop thinking of her response to him and instead refocus on training. She suspected that he was going easy on her, but she couldn’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment anyway. She had been able to get out of his grasp, which seemed to have surprised him, and she had been attentively following all his instructions since. She might be far from handling a real emergency, but she was already more confident in her abilities to protect herself.
When Caleb threw an arm out towards her, she ducked to avoid it and tried to roll away. He was prepared this time. Faster than she thought possible, he was on top of her, pinning her arms to her sides.
“Only roll if you know your attacker isn’t going to come right back at you, or else you become even more vulnerable. You roll when you’ve got time to run, or if you’re trying to stop yourself from getting slammed to the ground. Rolling when you haven’t temporarily stunned or distracted your opponent is dangerous,” Caleb said, his face only inches from hers.
She tried to listen, but she only half heard what he was saying. He was straddling her, the rock-hard muscles of his thighs pressing firmly against her own. There was also something else hard pressing against her stomach. The realization made her tremble. There was no denying it – he wanted her.
She searched his hazel eyes, awed by the intricate web of greens and browns sparkling in the sunlight. Those wide eyes were staring directly back into hers, straight into her soul. It was as if he’d only now realized the intimacy of the position they were in, the surprise apparent on his face.
Screw it. Just because she wasn’t in the market for a relationship, didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy this. Why should she deny herself the opportunity to find out what it like to kiss someone she wanted this badly? Maybe it was just her hormones talking, but she didn’t care. If he didn’t want it, let him stop her.
She closed her eyes and boldly pressed her lips to his. The contact was lightning. It ran through her entire body, making her feel incredibly alive. It was so much more intense than she’d anticipat
ed. And he returned it. His kiss was warm and tender, his lips gently caressing hers. He pulled her closer to him, a low groan escaping him, sending shivers of excitement through her.
She couldn’t get enough of him. His warm, solid body pressed against the length of her, his earthy masculine scent enveloping her. She wanted more. She tentatively nudged at his lips with her tongue. He responded by delving his own tongue into her mouth, gently sweeping hers. She sighed. No wonder some people were so entranced by kisses. Had she known it could be like this, she would never have stuck around with Steve so long. This kiss was better than any intimacy she’d ever shared. It was hot, deep, all-encompassing— a drink of water to someone dying of thirst. She hadn’t realized just how dehydrated she’d been.
She ran her hands down his back, appreciating the firm ripples of muscles. The long hard proof of his arousal pressed intimately against her, teasing her. Her hips raised involuntarily in response. She tilted her head back and gasped as the promise of pleasure rushed through her.
The separation of their lips was enough to break the spell. He jumped off her as fast as if he had laid in a bed of hot coals. Instead of refreshing, the sudden rush of cool apartment air was uncomfortable. The weight of him on her had felt natural, right. He had had total control in that moment, but instead of being overpowered, afraid, or intimidated, she’d been aroused, tantalized, and excited. The little voice telling her that she ‘wasn’t looking for anyone’ or that she ‘shouldn’t get to close’ was drowned out by the thrumming of her own heart in her ears.
She breathed heavily. She was still laying there like a stunned fish, wasn’t she. She jumped up, trying to mask her embarrassment.
“Well, uh, I think that’s enough for today,” he said running a hand through his hair, “You did a good job for a first day.”
At first, she couldn’t answer. Looking for something to do instead of standing there awkwardly, she headed toward the kitchenette and poured herself a glass of water. “Would you like some?”
Guardian Page 5