And when Angel was gone, Danielle would have the possibility of a future with Colton.
“Did you fix things?” she asked.
He smiled and shook his head. “I tried. I apologized, but she wouldn’t give me anything to work with.”
Angel understood. “A girl has her pride.”
“So does a man,” he told her softly.
She knew he wasn’t talking about apologizing to Danielle. He had no issues saying he was wrong when it happened. It was one of the many things she loved about him.
She missed a step when the word flitted through her thoughts.
Love.
It was the very word she’d been hiding from. Frightening, dangerous…wonderful.
She thought she might love Colton, but she didn’t have any experience with the feeling to be sure.
At one time she’d thought she was in love with Lucas Stone, but that hadn’t been love at all. He had manipulated her into believing she was important to him. But it was never real.
This feeling she had with Colton felt real.
But was it truly love?
Should there have been some definitive way to know? A line she passed. One moment she didn’t, then something happened and she did? Or was it more subtle? Something she just noticed over time?
She’d always imagined she would know. If for no other reason than the terminology was falling in love. One certainly knew when they fell. It was a shocking, painful jolt. Nothing subtle about falling. You didn’t do it without noticing.
“I’m going to the restroom,” she managed to say when the song ended.
She needed a moment to collect her thoughts. She knew making sense of them was beyond her—collecting them was the best she could do.
He kissed her, and she fled the banquet room, being careful not to run. She was so sick of running from everything. She’d thought herself strong, brave, but that was just another lie.
She looked in the mirror at another farce. The person staring back at her was not real. She was a fake from her flowing hair to her brown eyes.
As she washed her hands, someone came into the restroom. She wasn’t surprised to see Danielle in the reflection.
“How do you like Oregon?” the woman asked, sounding polite.
“It’s very nice. But I’m not used to being in such a small town.” Angel was laying the path for her exit. Colton would be able to explain her absence as them not being able to work it out. Cassie could go back to Baltimore and city life.
Danielle stepped closer, her heavy perfume leading the way. “Duncan mentioned he likes living in a small town.”
“Yes. He does.”
Not true. He’d grown up in a small town in Illinois and moved to Philadelphia when he joined the DEA. He’d told her how much he liked the anonymity of living in a big city, and the way he could get food delivered at two a.m.
“I’ll still be here when you decide to leave,” Danielle said, her chin coming up, but her eyes were unsure.
It was good to see Colton had options here. He wouldn’t be alone if he didn’t want to be. Danielle had spunk. If his interest in Angel was any indication, Colton liked women with spunk.
Angel should have simply smiled and walked away, letting Danielle have the moment, and sending home the story that she loved the city life more than she loved “Duncan.”
But she couldn’t do it.
Instead, she tossed the paper towel in the trash and met the other woman’s eyes. “If I decide to leave, I might take him with me back to Baltimore.”
With a smug grin, she left to go back to the man she’d just claimed…but had no idea what to do with.
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Colton wasn’t sure what had happened in the restroom, but Angel was quiet. Too quiet. She hadn’t said much as they’d said their goodbyes to his friends and left.
“You okay?” he asked when they were in his truck, heading for home.
“Yeah.” She nodded as if to sell it, but then gave up. “No. I messed things up with Danielle.”
“How so?” He couldn’t imagine. Angel had been nothing but friendly to the woman despite the way Danielle had practically glared at her all night.
He hated that Angel was taking the punishment for his sins. It was his fault Danielle felt she had been pushed aside.
“I should have let her believe I was thinking of leaving again, but instead, I told her you might come with me,” Angel confessed.
He pressed his lips together to hide the smile that threatened. This was uncharted territory, and the worst thing he could do was to push her into admitting why she might have done that.
But inside, his heart was doing a victory dance. A small one, but still.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I should probably move again, anyway. Just in case. That’ll give me a good cover story for leaving.”
He kept his eyes glued to the windshield, even though he could feel her studying him. Would she let it go, or fess up? He felt as excited as he did as a boy on Christmas morning.
Would he get the thing he wanted?
Or would it be the thing he needed instead?
Chapter Sixty-Nine
Rather than respond to Colton’s comment, Angel placed her hand on his thigh and moved it up until she was grasping his length firmly through his khakis.
Yes, she was using sex as a distraction—again—but she didn’t know what else to do. And it always seemed to work.
Her emotions were running all over the place. She didn’t know what was going on with herself, and until she did, it wouldn’t be a good thing to make any promises—or even to talk.
She wanted to go away with him forever. Someplace quiet, and theirs alone.
Apparently, one glass of wine made her delusional.
Because she knew damn well she wasn’t brave enough to go for any of that. To take a risk and try for a real life.
And even if she did somehow muster the courage, Colton wouldn’t want any part of it. Not a boring life where the height of excitement was grilling dinner or going to a movie.
“Be careful,” he warned. “We’re still fifteen minutes from home. If you keep doing what you’re doing, I’m not going to make it that far.”
“Maybe we should pull over, then,” she suggested, gripping him tighter.
He gasped and removed her hand, putting it back in her own lap. “And risk having the cops find us in a compromising position?”
She felt a sharp stab of regret and envy and frustration. Danielle would have been able to pull over with him. If the police caught them messing around, he and Danielle would have gotten a warning with a laugh. But being caught with Angel would mean jail time for aiding and abetting.
“You should have left with Danielle.” It just popped out of her mouth without her permission. “Less complicated.”
Damn that glass of wine.
“If you remember correctly, Danielle would have been leaving in her own vehicle, so there’d have been no chance of her hands roaming.”
Angel pressed her lips together. “I guess not.”
My God. She was pouting. Ridiculous. She’d never been one to feel sorry for herself. It was much better to find a way to manage with what she had. Wanting more was selfish.
Especially if what she wanted put Colton in danger.
“Drive faster,” she ordered, making him laugh.
“I can’t drive faster. I have a wanted fugitive in my vehicle.”
“Drive faster.” This time she undid his pants and slid her hand inside.
“Yes, ma’am.” His voice squeaked as his foot pressed down on the gas.
Chapter Seventy
When they pulled into the garage, she released him and turned to open the car door, but Colton stopped her.
“What’s going on?” he asked, sensing it was more serious than simple horniness.
Now that her hand wasn’t on him, he was able to think again. She was trying to distract him. He was on to her tactics by now.
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She pushed out a breath. “I’m not sure. I’ve never been to a wedding before. I guess it got to me.”
He glanced over at her in surprise. He’d attended his older brothers’ weddings, even taking on the role of groomsman when requested. He’d been in the weddings of friends and other family members. A dozen or more. He couldn’t imagine how she’d been spared.
Then he remembered her family wouldn’t have attended family weddings. And she didn’t have close friends, other than the Phoenix team.
“Do you miss your team?” he asked, wanting to give them both a minute to think about something else. He wanted her, and he had no doubt they’d get back to it soon enough. But something was bothering her, and he didn’t want to take her to bed if she was hurting.
She had a habit of brushing off the hard feelings with sex. He’d let her do it in the past, but he knew it wasn’t healthy. The bad stuff didn’t go away, even when you felt good physically.
“You want to talk about my team when I just had my hand down your pants? I must not be doing something right,” she joked. She was still trying to brush off the heavy emotions.
He leaned across the seat to kiss her.
“I want to know everything about you,” he whispered, and saw the pulse at her neck kick up. “Come on. Tell me what’s going on.”
Chapter Seventy-One
Angel’s plan to ignore her feelings was demolished by Colton’s request to talk. He hadn’t even budged from his truck, as if it was safer there.
Her team. He wanted to talk about the other members of Task Force Phoenix, the people who were like a family to her. The people who had been there for her when she’d had no one else.
“You’ve met pretty much everyone who’s still active. Garrett does some odd jobs here and there when needed, and Donovan does a lot of international stuff, but we’re fairly small.”
“Plus Dane, Justin, and Thorne?”
“There are a few people on the inside that provide intel, and there are other tech agents. But yeah, the five of us are it right now. When Garrett left, Thorne started looking for a replacement. But he hasn’t found the right person yet.”
She thought she might have found the right person for him. Though, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand it. Waiting for Colton to come back from a job she wasn’t working would be torture.
Still, she knew he’d be a perfect fit, and it would give him the excitement he so desperately wanted. It wouldn’t be right to hold him back. Besides, there was no guarantee she’d ever be able to go back, even if this whole mess ended well.
If she didn’t find the real killer, she’d be exiled forever.
Or in prison.
“Garrett left the team so he could be with someone?” Colton asked, his voice quiet.
She knew what he was thinking. Garrett left Task Force Phoenix to be with Samantha, but Angel hadn’t made the same decision. She hadn’t taken the chance with Colton.
“Yes. Garrett is Thorne’s son-in-law now.” She still found it funny. Especially on the few occasions she’d heard Garrett call Thorne “Dad.” Thorne seemed less than amused by the endearment.
“And Dane?”
“Dane and I have worked a lot of missions together.” They were like a single unit when they worked. They rarely needed to speak out loud, using just a gesture or a look to communicate. He was dependable and steady. Like a machine.
“And the two of you never…”
It took a full ten seconds to understand what Colton was asking. Then she burst out laughing. “Dane and I? Together? No. Never. It’s never even come up.”
“For you. I’m sure it’s come up for him.”
Angel laughed again and shook her head. She couldn’t imagine Dane ever looking at her in that way. “He’s the older brother I should have had. The kind that offers protection along with teasing and annoyance.” The laughter faded and she frowned. “We’re all wounded in some way. Everyone on the team comes with baggage and sadness. Dane had to walk away from his wife and young son to protect them. I doubt he’d ever get close to anyone again.”
Somehow, that seemed a lot worse than never having the courage to get close to anyone in the first place. He’d once been normal, and happy, and knew exactly what he was missing.
Which only made Angel even more wary of putting herself in that position.
“Why didn’t his wife and son come with him?” Colton asked.
“I’m not sure. He’s never said, and I don’t want to pry. We’re like a family, but there are still things we don’t tell each other. I’m not sure how he did it, though. For me, it was easy. My family was gone. There were no tough choices to be made. I can’t imagine walking away on my own.”
Although, true, she’d come close when she’d left Colton.
“It’s a bitch, let me tell you,” he said.
“Right. I guess you know very well.” Although he hadn’t been given many choices, either. He’d been fighting for his life at the time.
“Not on that level. It’s one thing to leave my brothers and my mom. It hurt like hell, don’t get me wrong. To know I would never see them again just about killed me for real. Fortunately, by the time I figured it out, I was on a lot of pain meds to numb everything.”
He laughed, but she could still see the pain in his eyes when he spoke of his family. “They all had lives with other people. They were married or had girlfriends. My mom has the grandkids. But to walk away from the woman I love—” He swallowed and shook his head. “Like I said, I can’t imagine.”
Could he not imagine because he’d never loved anyone, or because it was too painful to think about? She knew he would answer if she asked, but she remained silent, not really wanting to have her fears confirmed.
So she changed the subject. “Justin is a different story. He asked me out the first day on the job. He’s always been a flirt and the happy-go-lucky one of the bunch. But it’s just an act.”
“What’s his story?”
“Don’t know. He’s never shared. Thorne hasn’t said. No one really knows, but it’s there, plain as day under the surface.”
“And Thorne?”
Angel smiled and shook her head. “He’s the reason I’m not sitting in prison. He gave me a chance to change my life. To use my skills to help people instead of causing them a lot of inconvenience when I stole their identity.”
Colton chuckled.
“I was having trouble dealing with being the sole survivor. I guess I didn’t think I deserved it, so I was going out of my way to punish myself and sabotage my own life.”
He reached over and squeezed her hand. “You deserve happiness, Angel.”
“I’m starting to get that.” Slowly but surely, she was coming around to that way of thinking.
“It’s also okay to care about people,” he whispered. “Not everyone goes away, or hurts you.”
She wanted to allow herself to care, to want, to commit fully and be more than she was, but she didn’t know how. She didn’t know how to give herself over to feelings she couldn’t address in words. Not without being terrified.
She leaned over and kissed him. Silently telling him how much she cared about him, when she didn’t dare say it out loud.
Instead of getting out of his truck on her side, he pulled her over onto his lap then out the door. They were kissing and walking—or stumbling—toward his bedroom. He stopped in the kitchen long enough to open the door and let Pudge out, then they kept right on going.
But rather than lead her straight to the bed, he stopped at the bathroom.
“Take them out,” he said while kissing up her throat.
She had no idea what he was talking about, her mind in a daze. “What?”
“The contacts. Take them out. I want to look into your eyes.”
She choked on the air caught in her throat. She’d known men who never even noticed what color her eyes were. But Colton wanted her—the real her.
Or as much of the real her as she was able
to give.
With a quick nod, she rushed in to take out the contacts. She pulled a brush through her hair to release the curls, and when she looked in the mirror she was startled by how much she looked like her old self. Her real old self.
Cassandra. Not Angel.
Her hair was this color naturally, and it suited her better than the platinum blond or the jet black. As Angel, she was all about extremes. But now…she had mixed emotions about all the things she once thought black and white.
Not everything had to be black or white. There was a whole bunch of gray to be had, too.
She could be a good deputy marshal and also want a quiet life with the man she—
God.
She swallowed down the thought before it blossomed, and let out a breath.
Taking off her bra and panties, she went to the bedroom in just the flowy dress. He was waiting for her on the bed, gloriously naked and ready for her.
She practically fell onto the bed, and he pulled her on top of him. As he moved his hand under her dress to her ass, he moaned when he found no obstructions.
“Were you like this the whole time? Hell, if I’d known, we would have found a dark corner somewhere at the reception. Then we wouldn’t have had to worry about getting home so fast.”
She kissed him again. “I just took them off. For you. I didn’t want anything in the way.”
They worked together to cover him first with a condom, then with her body. A slow breath left both of their lips in unison as they joined.
She moved on him as he bunched up her dress and pulled it over her head to expose the rest of her.
His gaze brushed over her, and she felt more than naked.
She felt…vulnerable.
Normally, that wasn’t a good thing to feel. But like every other time she was with him, she also felt safe.
Wrapping both feelings around her, she smiled down at him and lowered her body over him in one easy slide, until he filled her completely.
They fit together perfectly, and she took a second just to enjoy the delicious sensation before she started moving on him faster. His large hands moved up her thighs to her hips and her waist. Never restraining or demanding, they followed her movements as she rose up and down in an enticing rhythm.
Wanted for Life Page 17