The moment Beau swept her up into his arms, Dinah felt the now-familiar warmth return to every part of her already overheated body. She could not say what the warmth was or why she felt it so keenly. Just that it seeped into her every bone and muscle, bringing all of her senses alive.
She was filled with the scent of him, musky and male. She was warmed by the heat of him, so hot that she did not fear the cold ever again. And she was mesmerized by the sight of him, both because of his handsome visage and his incredible kindness. He hadn’t needed to offer himself to her this way. He hadn’t needed to do anything for her at all, not even pull her from the icy river water. He could have simply allowed her to die and save himself the bother of an unwanted guest, which he would have done had he truly been the beast he proclaimed himself to be.
Yet Beau had done everything he could for her and more. In the process, he had also awoken something within her. Something raw and needy and sexual that she wasn’t certain she could lock away again when she left here. Dinah prayed that, in some tiny way, she had awoken a similar hunger in Beau as well, and that he was just as affected as she was.
She should be afraid of this act and of him. Dinah knew that. She should be ashamed of what they were about to do and what she was about to become – a fallen woman. She should be timid and fearful, embarrassed to be naked in front of a man she barely knew.
She wasn’t.
In fact, Dinah felt nothing like she ever imagined she would when she had dreamed of being bedded by a man for the first time. In her youth, she had assumed she would be nervous and timid, almost missish in her behavior. She believed that she would insist on keeping most of her clothing on, and she had certainly assumed that this act would be performed within the bonds of matrimony. And in the dark.
But Dinah was no longer the Belle of Bedfordshire. She was no longer the pampered daughter of Canton Hall, the woman that young men from Westbrook-on-Green fawned over endlessly in hopes of a simple kiss. Nor was she the young girl repulsed at the idea of even kissing Billy Appleton. Now Dinah was someone different and new, someone she did not quite understand or know very well. And while she might still be an innocent, she was no longer as naive as she once was either.
She understood her body and she knew what she wanted.
And it was largely thanks to Beau.
Had she been lying with another man? Dinah likely would have fled the room long ago. But not with Beau. In fact, at this moment, she wanted nothing more than for him to be inside of her, making her his, and that thought shocked her down to her very toes. But she still wanted it just the same.
As Beau kissed a path down over her lips and neck, she moaned. When he took one stiff nipple in his mouth and suckled, she sighed. And when his fingers dipped into her most private of areas, she gasped.
“Relax, my darling Dinah,” he breathed as he continued to lave at her now-sensitive breasts, all the while his fingers still exploring her intimately. “You need to be wet for me or this will not work. The last thing I would ever do is cause you pain. And unless you are so very wet, I am afraid that when I enter you, it will hurt.”
“I have…some idea,” she offered, her hips shifting restlessly, needing to be closer to him. “I was raised in the country. The rest? Well, I trust you, Beau. I trust you.” Dinah felt something come undone inside of her as she said the words. She had not trusted anyone in a very long time, save for her father and look how that had turned out.
But she trusted this man and she had no idea why. Perhaps, eventually, her head would catch up with her heart and let her know why. For now, however, she would simply take the chance.
Beau nuzzled the valley between her breasts, his teeth scraping lightly over the soft flesh. “You shouldn’t, you know. No one else does.”
Oh, he was making her feel heavenly! So she wished he would stop disparaging himself so. “But I do trust you. You said the other day that I see things others do not. Could that not be true for you as well?”
Dinah took his hungry kiss as an answer of the affirmative. When he slid a finger inside of her, she gasped, and he took advantage, sweeping his tongue inside of her mouth. He quested and teased, licking at her teeth, begging her tongue to come out and play with his.
Dinah had no idea what she was about, so she simply followed Beau’s lead. When he retreated, she followed, tentatively allowing her tongue to tangle with his as she tasted him. It must have been the right thing to do for he groaned and pulled her tighter against him.
“God, yes!” Beau breathed. “I need you, Dinah. Please!”
Somehow managing to pull away from his breath-stealing kisses, she looked up at him then. His mismatched eyes were dark with passion. There was no fear or hesitation in them. There was only lust and desire. Desire for her. That was all she needed. For this was as much of a leap of faith for him as it was for her. She understood that now.
“Then take me,” Dinah whispered as she reached down to stroke his cock with her hands, just as she had seen one of the maids do to a footman back at Canton Hall when she had been little more than a child. She hadn’t understood the action then, but she did now. And that single caress seemed to heighten his desire more than any kiss ever could. “I am yours, Beau. You know this.”
“So I do.”
His kisses and caresses were different after that. They were more heated and demanding. They took as much as they gave. And they were everywhere. On her breasts and suckling at her nipples. On her throat while his teeth nipped at her shoulders. Then lower, across her stomach and down to her navel. Then lower still, making her shiver with a need she did not quite understand but craved just the same.
Surely only a wanton would allow a man to kiss her there, Dinah thought briefly. However when Beau parted her curls and sucked hard on the little pearl of pleasure, she cried out with pleasure and opened her legs wider for him as her world shattered.
She saw colors she had not known existed and lights danced behind her eyes. She heard sounds that seemed to come from deep within her and were yet still detached from her somehow as well. She felt the purest sort of pleasure well up within her and then spiral outward, as if she truly was the center of the universe. She supposed she was the center of Beau’s at any rate.
Dinah bucked and thrashed, riding out her first true womanly release, as Beau pinned her body to the bed with his own, using his sleek, muscled weight to hold her there. But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. She needed him closer. She needed him to consume her, just as she was, in some strange fashion, consuming him.
“Please, Beau! Please!” Dinah begged him. “I need you!”
For she did. She needed every part of him. She needed him to fill her and take away the cold, the cold she hadn’t even known she had been living with for so long. She needed him to make her feel safe, even though she knew it could not last. More than that, she needed him to heal the broken parts of her. For only a man as broken as she was could see inside of her and know what needed to be healed.
“As I need you, Dinah,” Beau whispered as he settled himself between her legs, his mouth still straying to her breasts every chance he had.
Then he pushed inside of her hard, the thick length of him stretching her full as she cried out. He whispered comforting words, but they weren’t necessary. Dinah had known his entering her for the first time would hurt. She had also known it was necessary.
What she hadn’t anticipated was how wonderful it would feel as he pulled back and then thrust into her again, his cock going deeper this time. She whimpered again and he must have assumed that he hurt her for he began to apologize. She cut him off with another open-mouthed kissed and tilted her hips, inviting him to take what he wanted from her.
He did.
Over and over Beau thrust deep into Dinah’s willing body, losing himself in her soft, sensual heat. She could not possibly know what her acceptance was doing for him. It was healing old hurts he hadn’t even known existed and longer. She was giving of herself so
that he could heal and she was glorious in her generosity. She was also reveling in what he was doing to her body, the way he was making her feel, crying out her pleasure over and over again as he thrust hard and fast into her tight, womanly heat.
Beau didn’t want this moment to ever end for her. Or for him. With his body deep within Dinah’s, he had finally found a peace that he hadn’t known he was craving. And it was glorious.
Unable to hold back and overcome with emotions he did not wish to confront, Beau moved faster, his hips driving hard into hers until she was once more bucking wildly beneath him, her body trembling and quaking.
“Let go and come for me, Dinah,” he whispered into her ear. Then he bit down on the sensitive lobe – one still adorned with the ruby earbobs from earlier, he was pleased to note – and he watched her world explode into a rainbow of light once more.
Then, for the first time in his life, Beau lost control. He came with a roar, spilling his seed into her, not caring in the least that he had failed to protect her from becoming with child. He didn’t care about anything save for claiming this woman as his and his alone.
Dinah might not want him – not forever anyway, but Beau was long past the point of caring. She had come to his bed willingly. She had given him pleasure and taken it from him in return. She was his and she always would be. Even if she didn’t know it yet.
In the deep of the night, they both woke from a fevered slumber and reached for each other again in hungry silence. There had been no discussion of her leaving his bed after their first coupling. There was now an unspoken agreement that their first joining would not be the last of the night. And it wasn’t.
Beau took Dinah many more times as the hours of the clock rushed forward and the dawn approached, even though after each joining he swore that it would be their last so they could finally sleep. He taught her how to ride him and how to suck his cock and give him pleasure as he had given her. He taught her the utter deliciousness of being kissed where no gentleman ought to place his mouth and he showed her how much it aroused him when he watched her pleasure herself.
And each time, their sessions ended with his cock buried inside of her, heedless of anything other than Beau claiming Dinah as his and spilling himself inside of her feminine core. He didn’t know if she understood what that meant, what the consequences might be and he didn’t care. He wanted her. He wanted to keep her. And if getting her with child was the only way to accomplish that, then so be it.
What Beau could not possibly know was that Dinah understood the risks she took the moment she had realized he was not going to withdraw and had made the decision not to force him to do so. For she wanted to stay by his side just as badly as he wished for her to remain. If this accomplished that goal, she was fine with the outcome. For there was no way she could tell him how much he chased away the cold for her, or how he had filled what had previously been an achingly empty heart.
Neither could tell the other what they truly felt, so instead, they allowed their bodies to speak for them and hoped that the other would understand.
Chapter Seven
The next week passed rather quickly for Dinah and her nights? Well, her nights were filled with nothing but Beau McCandless, and she could not have been happier.
Dinah had been terrified the first night she had gone to Beau’s chambers and essentially offered herself to him. Beau had said that he wanted her, but what if he had changed his mind? She was not exactly the most perfect of women and she likely still had a good deal of improving to do where her selfishness was concerned. Not to mention that this bedding was a good deal more important to her than it was to him.
If Beau did not deflower her, little in his life would change. He would still be a marquess. In Dinah’s life, however? There would be a hefty price for her to pay if the duke came looking for her and she was still an innocent maid. So it was far more important to her that the deed be done than it was to Beau. That was why she had taken the bold step of going to his chambers in the first place, no matter how frightened she had been on the inside.
For she had been – frightened that was. Not of Beau, certainly, for in the span of only a few days, she had come to the conclusion that he would not harm her. Dinah was also not truly afraid of the act itself. Well, not after Beau had kissed her that first time and set her body so aflame anyway. She had, however, been afraid of herself and of how quickly she was becoming enamored of this man. Afraid of how much she wanted him and wanted more of him, likely more than he was willing to give. That? Oh, yes, she was afraid of all of that. But not of Beau.
So Dinah had placed her hand on that door handle and pushed, taking her future into her own hands for once. Being brave when a part of her had simply wanted to run away and hide.
Then Beau had pulled her to him and kissed her. And that had been that.
True, that first coupling had presented her with new problems, such as what she would do and where she would go when her time here was ended, not to mention the fact that she was quickly coming to the conclusion that she wished to remain here at Grayfield indefinitely. However, those were issues for another day, one that would come soon enough. Instead, she preferred to concentrate on the present.
And at present, there was only Beau and he was enough, enough for any woman, certainly, but more than enough for Dinah, for she craved him in a way that both terrified and thrilled her at the same time. And she could never seem to get enough of him.
Dinah and Beau had shared a bed every night since their first coupling, sometimes in hers and others in his. There was no real way of deciding. Typically the choice simply depended upon which one of them managed to get undressed first. Usually it was Beau but sometimes it was her and he seemed to not care where they fucked. Just so he was inside of her before too very long once they were naked.
Beau had taken her on top of her dressing table and on the floor of his large closet. He had taken her over the back of a settee and while he was seated on a chair. He had even taken her in the butler’s pantry one particularly wild day when they were both feeling the same stinging heat of desire and were unable to wait for nightfall to join their bodies.
That little diversion in the butler’s pantry had taken place two days after their first coupling. Since they had not been discovered by the staff while doing so, the adventure seemed to grant them tacit permission to couple whenever and wherever they felt like it. Most likely because they had not been caught. After that, the concept of coupling in public became almost a game to both of them rather than a shameful secret they needed to hide.
Once they had come together in the portrait gallery and they had been forced to hide behind the half-wall when a maid was passing through, so they did not scandalize her. Another time, Beau had taken Dinah atop the desk in his study, and yet another, she had sucked his cock while he sat in the library, the curtains open wide to the outside world, not that there was anyone about to see them, thankfully.
Perhaps the most scandalous time Dinah and Beau had come together was in the stables after a short but brisk ride, for the snow had eventually stopped long enough for them to race across Grayfield’s frozen grounds together, laughing like children. When they had returned to the stables, they had seen to their own horses and somewhere in the middle of brushing and watering, they had fallen into the hay and Beau had Dinah’s riding habit loosened before she could even kiss him.
If the staff knew what she and Beau were about – and Dinah had to admit they likely did – not one of them said anything. If anything, the servants seemed to be encouraging Dinah and Beau’s rather scandalous behavior. Cecily had been going out of her way to make certain that Dinah always looked her best, providing her with a seemingly endless supply of new things to wear which made Dinah wonder just how much clothing the late marchioness had owned anyway. It was also inevitable that each and every evening gown the maid brought was low cut to show as much bosom as possible without being indecent and each undergarment provided was designed to be more enti
cing than practical.
It was as if the servants at Grayfield wanted Dinah to remain, or at the very least, for Beau to take her as his mistress. Not that Dinah would be opposed to such an idea. She had few choices for her future and the idea of remaining with Beau, even as his mistress, was preferable to being forced into Ryfell’s bed – or worse, into a brothel. Even though Dinah was quickly coming to wish that being Beau’s wife – scandalous as she was with a father who had died in debtor’s prison – were an option for her.
However she very much doubted that Beau was looking for a wife, so Dinah put those thoughts aside and concentrated on what she did have. And what she did have was pleasure in Beau’s arms, with no one around to stop them.
In the afternoons, which were when Dinah and Beau inevitably seemed to find their way to each other, the staff was always noticeably absent. Dinah had overheard Beau questioning Harris about the matter the previous day but the older man had simply informed his employer that the absences were part of a new schedule that he and Mrs. Smith were trying out.
In fact, every servant was the picture of innocence when questioned about the matter, but, for as foolish as Dinah could be about people and their motives at times, this time she knew exactly what the staff was about. They wanted her to stay at Grayfield and they were doing all they could to ensure that outcome.
The servants somehow believed that she would be able to change Beau for the better – permanently. Given that Dinah had no idea how he had behaved before her arrival, she couldn’t say if he had changed or not. Or if she was even responsible if there was a change in him. However some dropped hints and random comments – especially Nathaniel, who, she had come to learn, lived at Grayfield as well – seemed to indicate that Beau had not possessed the cheeriest of dispositions before her arrival.
A Season For Romance (The Seldon Park Christmas Novella Book 5) Page 8