Jonathan’s heart beat against his ribs. He removed the envelope from his pocket and handed it to the woman.
She counted it out, then peered over her spectacles. “This is not the full amount. It’s not even half.”
He wet his lips. “I promise I’ll get the rest to you by the end of the week.”
“I’m afraid that won’t do. Unless you can pay the entire amount today, you will be removed from the student register.” She placed the money back in the envelope and slid it toward him.
His stomach sank. Even if a bank manager agreed to see him today, he’d never be able to secure a loan that quickly. He blew out a breath. “Sadly, I don’t think that will be possible.”
“There’s always next term.” The woman gave him a sympathetic smile.
He reached for the envelope on the counter. “I suppose that’s all I can hope for at this point.”
“We’ll hold on to your tuition deposit for now, which will keep your file open. If at some point you decide to withdraw your application altogether, we’ll refund that sum, of course.”
“Thank you. I sincerely hope that won’t be necessary.”
With feet as heavy as his heart, Jonathan made his way back to his bicycle. What a first-class chump he’d been. He’d failed to live up to his responsibilities here while he chased Emma halfway around the world. Now Aunt Trudy was in dire straits and his dream of Oxford in serious jeopardy. What if he wasn’t able to come up with the required tuition money before the next term started?
The letter in his pocket rustled as he climbed onto the bike. Jonathan reached in and fingered the paper, recalling the moment he’d first opened the envelope. He’d cried tears of joy, wishing he could share the good news with his father and let him know that he’d finally fulfilled his dream. His dad had always told him, “Education, son. It’s the most important thing there is. Once you have your degree, no one can take it away from you.”
Jonathan lifted his chin. He wasn’t ready to give up yet. This was a temporary setback. But right now, he had a more pressing problem. He had to figure out a way to earn some money fast, because if Aunt Trudy sold the shop and moved to London, he soon wouldn’t even have a roof over his head.
CHAPTER 34
Emma approached Randall’s front door, a mixture of emotions churning in her system. She couldn’t help but remember the first time she’d come here, filled with such excitement to meet her father. Fueled by an unrealistic sense of optimism, she now realized.
Jonathan had been right to warn her, to try to make her understand that it might not turn out as she’d planned. Back then, she couldn’t heed his words, couldn’t allow herself to imagine a bad scenario. Yet here she was, facing the worst possible outcome: her dreams in tatters, conceding defeat.
Her cheeks heated every time she thought of her emotional display at the debate and the devastating revelations of that night. If she could, she’d have preferred never to face her father again, but that would mean leaving without saying good-bye to Marianne and Corinne, something she couldn’t even consider, for they should not have to pay for Randall’s shortcomings.
A tremble of nerves rolled in Emma’s stomach. What would her sisters think of her after the scene she’d caused the other night? She prayed they wouldn’t hold her outburst against her. Though she held little hope of Vera doing the same.
A somber-looking Mrs. Beck answered the bell and admitted Emma to the foyer.
Emma forced a bright smile. “Good morning. Are Corinne and Marianne at home?”
“I believe they’re out on the back terrace, if you’d care to join them there.” Though the woman didn’t smile back, her eyes radiated sympathy.
“Thank you, Mrs. Beck. I know the way.” Emma slipped down the hallway to the rear of the house, found the door, and exited onto the patio. She shielded her eyes from the sun and peered across the lawn.
Corinne was tossing a ball to Marianne in her chair, while a black-and-white puppy raced in circles around them.
Emma couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Shoring her courage, she walked toward them and waved when Marianne spied her.
“Emma! Look! Papa bought us a puppy. Isn’t he cute?” The sheer joy in Marianne’s voice brought a lump to Emma’s throat.
How she would miss her sisters, especially this brave girl. Emma rued the fact that she wouldn’t be here to see Marianne take her first steps out of that wheelchair or watch her mature into the wonderful young woman she would certainly become.
“He’s adorable. You’re very lucky. I always wanted a puppy when I was young.” The animal stopped to sniff Emma’s shoes, and she bent to stroke his soft head. “What are you going to call him?” She looked up at Corinne in an attempt to gauge the older girl’s mood.
“We’re not sure yet,” Corinne said with a light laugh. “It’s between Sparky, Duke, or Grover.” She tossed the ball, and the dog took off across the grass.
Emma laughed too, glad to avoid the topic that weighed on her. To pretend that nothing was amiss, for even a few minutes. “All very nice choices. Although he’s acting a bit like the Mad Hatter right now.”
“What’s a mad hatter?” Marianne asked.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.”
“Afraid not.” Corinne came closer, twisting a curl around one finger in an almost unconscious manner.
“It’s a marvelous story. You’ll have to get a copy and read it together.” Once I’m gone. Emma blinked against the sudden sting of tears that came at the thought that she would no longer get to share such moments with them.
“What’s the matter, Emma?” Marianne wheeled closer. “Are you still mad at Papa?”
Emma swallowed hard and pasted on a smile. “No, I’m not. And I’ve come to apologize to you both for my bad behavior. There’s really no excuse for it.”
“I think there is.” Corinne gave her a solemn look. “Papa hasn’t treated you very well since you came here. Neither has Mama, or me either for that matter.”
The puppy ran up with a ball in its mouth and dropped it at their feet.
“It’s not your fault.” Emma sighed. “I did rather force myself on everyone. I should have handled the whole affair differently from the beginning. But the one thing I’ll never regret is getting to know my sisters.” She forced a trembling smile to her lips.
Frowning, Corinne crossed her arms. “Why does that sound like you’re saying good-bye?”
Emma swallowed. “Because I am. I’m going back to England.” She scooped up the little dog to avoid the looks on her sisters’ faces. The tiny creature squirmed and licked her cheek.
“Why are you leaving?” Marianne asked, her brow puckering. “Papa said you were staying in Canada.”
“I intended to, but . . . I’ve changed my mind.” Emma couldn’t stand the sadness on Marianne’s face, the tears welling in her eyes.
“It’s because of him, isn’t it?” Corinne said quietly. She’d matured so much over the summer that Emma almost didn’t recognize her as the same hostile girl she’d first met.
Emma met her grave stare and nodded. “It’s my own fault though. My expectations were too high when I came here. Life isn’t a fairy tale. You can’t make people feel how you’d like them to.” She kissed the puppy’s head and deposited him on Marianne’s lap.
Silent tears rolled down the girl’s cheek. “Who’s going to help me with my exercises now?”
A stab of guilt sliced through Emma. Was she wrong to have started something she couldn’t finish? To give her sister false hope? “I’m sure Corinne will be happy to take over. She knows what to do.” It took all Emma’s strength to keep her emotions contained. She had to be strong for all of them.
“But it won’t be the same without you. I don’t want you to go.”
Emma’s heart cracked open at the sorrow on the girl’s face. She bent to gather her sister in a fierce hug. Marianne’s slim frame shook with the force of her sobs, and she s
niffed into Emma’s shoulder.
There was no holding back the tears now. They dripped off Emma’s chin and onto Marianne’s fair head. “I’ll be back one day,” Emma promised, her voice scraping her throat. “In the meantime, we can write to each other. I’ve always wanted a pen pal.” She rose and wiped the tears from Marianne’s face, holding on to her composure by a thread. Then she turned and held a hand out to Corinne. “That goes for you too, if you’d like.”
Slowly Corinne put her hand in Emma’s and nodded. “I’d like that very much.”
Emma pulled Corinne into an embrace. If only they’d had more time together. Now that she’d gotten past Corinne’s hostility, they’d come to understand each other. “You’ll have to tell me what happens between you and a certain young man,” she whispered as she released her. “With any luck, he’ll come to his senses soon.”
Corinne flushed and blinked back actual tears. “Actually, we’ve decided to put our relationship on hold for a while. I want to go to school and become a teacher. Will has been very supportive.”
“That’s wonderful.” Emma squeezed her hand. “I have no doubt you’ll make an excellent teacher.”
“I have you to thank for it.” Corinne’s eyes, though teary, were solemn. “If I hadn’t started helping Marianne, I would never have volunteered to tutor Will’s sister. Working with her made me realize how satisfying it is to help others.”
“I’m very happy for you, Corinne.” Emma’s heart swelled with joy, yet it was bittersweet, since she wouldn’t be here to witness her sister grow into her full potential. “If Will cares about you as much as I think he does, he’ll be waiting for you when you graduate.”
“Thank you. I hope he will be.”
Emma straightened her spine. “Well, I’d best go say good-bye to your parents. Be good, the both of you. And if you ever want to visit England, you’ll always be welcome.” She leaned over to kiss Marianne one more time, clinging to the girl for just a bit longer than necessary, before she gave them a watery smile and set off across the lawn.
When she reached the patio, the French doors opened, and her father stepped out. “Hello, Emmaline.”
She came to an abrupt halt, causing her skirt to swish about her legs. Instant tension seized her muscles. “Randall. I was just coming to find you.” She lifted her chin, dragging a breath into her lungs. No matter how many times she’d rehearsed this moment, she still wasn’t prepared. “I’ve come to say good-bye.”
“You’re leaving?” For an instant, he looked stricken, as though her departure might actually mean something to him.
“Yes. I’m going back to England.”
“I see.” Brackets formed beside his mouth.
She waited for the usual stoic expression to return, but he just stared at her.
Her stomach churned with a confused mixture of emotions. Regret, sorrow, and beneath it all, an underlying anger that had not fully dissipated. She’d have to spend a lot more time in prayer to fully forgive Randall for everything he’d put her through.
She squared her shoulders, realizing that this could be the last time they saw each other. She met his eyes. “Despite everything,” she said, “I do wish you the best. I hope you achieve your goal of becoming the next mayor.” She paused. What did she do now? A hug didn’t feel right. Did she offer to shake hands?
“Before you go, there’s something you should know.” He moved forward to grip the back of one of the chairs. “First, I found out that Wainwright was being paid by Mayor Church’s campaign manager to dig into my past and find some way to discredit me. I confronted the mayor about it, and he seemed genuinely shocked. I believed him when he said he had no knowledge of their collusion, and, in fact, he fired his manager on the spot.”
Emma nodded. “I’m glad the mayor wasn’t involved, although if that had come to light, it might have guaranteed you the election.”
Randall cleared his throat. “That’s a moot point now after everything that’s happened. For many reasons, I’ve decided to pull out of the mayoral race.” A soft breeze stirred the hair on his forehead as he looked at her. “Even if my reputation hadn’t been sullied, you’ve made me realize I’ve placed far too much emphasis on my career and not enough on my family.”
“I think that’s a wise decision,” she said quietly. “I know two young ladies who will be very happy to have more of your attention.”
“Only two?”
She met his eyes, for once without expectation. “I’m afraid it’s a little late for that.” And because she no longer held any illusions where her father was concerned, she could speak the truth. “I don’t regret coming here, and even though it didn’t turn out as I’d hoped, I’m glad I met you. Mostly I’m grateful for getting to know my sisters.” She smiled sadly. “Our failed relationship is as much my fault as yours. I had no right to demand more of you than you were capable of giving.”
His features crumpled, and he took a step toward her. “Emma, won’t you stay and give us another chance?”
Fresh sorrow clawed inside her. What she wouldn’t have given for him to utter those words weeks ago. But too much had happened for them to make a difference now. “Perhaps I’ll come back someday for a visit, but I need to go home. I have to try and make amends to the one person who has always had my best interest at heart. If I’m lucky, maybe he’ll be able to forgive me.”
“Jonathan.”
She nodded.
“He left because of me, you know.” A muscle worked in Randall’s jaw. “He told me he never wanted to make you choose between us. He left so you wouldn’t have to.”
Emma swallowed. “I made a terrible mistake. But I intend to make it up to him somehow. If he’ll let me.”
A small smile played across Randall’s lips. “With your tenacity, I have no doubt you’ll win him over in the end.” He came closer, regret shadowing his features. “Can I give you a hug before you go?”
She bit her lip and nodded, steeling herself for the one embrace she’d longed for her entire life.
Tentatively, he put his arms around her. “I do love you,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better man. Sorry I wasn’t able to be the father you deserved.”
An unexpected sob caught in her throat. Tears she thought she’d finished with flooded her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. She pressed her face into the wool of his jacket and clung to him, memorizing his scent for the years to come. Then she sniffed and pulled back. “I love you too.” Despite everything, she did.
As Reverend Burke told her, love was a gift meant to be freely given, whether it was deserved or not, and without expectation of anything in return.
Movement behind them caught Emma’s eye. Vera stood watching her with a hostile expression. “So, you’ve done your damage and now you’re leaving?”
Emma winced as the accusatory tone hit its mark. Perhaps she hadn’t handled everything in the best way, but she wasn’t the only one to blame for the events that had transpired. She looked Vera in the eye. “It was never my intention to cause problems. But I’m not the only one responsible for what happened. If I’d known the truth from the beginning, things could have been a lot different.”
The woman’s stare didn’t soften. Emma wished she could rewind to the days before the fundraiser, when everything had been going so well. But that was impossible. The best she could hope for was that, in time, the wounds left behind would heal.
“You have a wonderful family, Vera. I hope you appreciate them and realize how lucky you are.” Emma turned her gaze to Randall. “And I hope one day your dream of becoming mayor comes true. Perhaps a dream deferred will be all the sweeter when you finally achieve it.”
“Thank you, Emma.” He swallowed hard. “I wish the same for you.”
Emma forced another smile. Then, with one final glance at her sisters on the lawn with their puppy, Emma turned and left.
CHAPTER 35
Jonathan got off the train at Piccadilly Circus and stood s
till among the rush of the people surrounding him. A temporary job had brought him to London—too close to his childhood home not to go back and visit his old neighborhood. He scanned the street, attempting to find a familiar landmark among the throngs of people and vehicles. Something that would remind him how to find the bookstore his father had owned and the flat above it where they’d lived for the first ten years of his life.
Until that fateful night that had destroyed everything.
After several blocks, the buildings began to look vaguely familiar. Jonathan stopped in front of Hatchard’s Bookshop, his father’s biggest rival. If memory served, his former home was a few blocks east.
The likelihood was high that someone would have rebuilt the store by now, since it was situated in one of the prime retail areas of London. His steps slowed as he neared the spot where he believed Rowe’s Books had once stood. When his gaze fell on the tobacco shop to the left, a long-forgotten memory of his father buying pipe supplies swam to the surface.
His heart began to beat faster. This had to be the right place, though nothing remained of the bookstore. The sign above the door now read Fine’s Haberdashery, and the window sported an impressive array of women’s and men’s hats. Jonathan smiled to himself. With Emma’s penchant for outlandish headwear, she would have loved this place. He rubbed a spot on his chest where a perpetual ache resided, reserved solely for her.
The door to the tobacco shop opened, and a white-haired gentleman emerged. From the full-length apron the man wore, Jonathan surmised he worked there. “If you’re considering a new cap, son, I can recommend Mr. Fine’s wares. Best quality I’ve seen.”
“Thank you, but I don’t need a hat.”
The man walked closer and took a pipe out of his pocket. “Then may I ask why you’ve been standing there staring at the building for so long?”
Jonathan swallowed and turned to look at him. “I thought this used to be a bookstore.”
“It was. Burned down about ten or twelve years ago. Terrible tragedy.” A shadow of grief passed over his ruddy features.
The Highest of Hopes Page 29