by AK Leigh
A sudden splash behind her made her jump. She whipped her face around in time to see that a man had popped his head up from the water. He used a hand to push wet hair from his face. That was when she locked eyes with him.
Andrei Strasinski.
He bolted up out of the water as a look passed over his face that showed both shock and uncertainty about what to do. The water covered him to his waist. His chest was bare. It was the least amount of clothes she’d seen him in since reuniting.
Unexpectedly, his half-naked body still had the same effect on her that it always had. She felt a sizzle of electricity buzz through her veins. In eight years, he didn’t seem to have lost any of the definition to his muscles that she remembered. Thanks to a rigid training program no doubt.
The urge to get away from him filled her. If his half-naked body was already making her react this way, it wouldn’t be wise to stay.
She turned, and called out, ‘I’ll give you some privacy.’
‘You can stay.’
She hesitated then peeked over her shoulder at him.
He gave her a hesitant look. ‘I’ll go.’
He pushed his way through the water, getting closer to her position. Her heart heaved in her chest at the sight. All she could do was stare for a moment. Then her brain snapped her out of it. You’re supposed to be getting closer to him. She needed answers; to rule him out as a suspect. There was only one way to do it.
You’re stronger now, Nina. She wouldn’t fall in love with him again. This was just physical attraction. Besides, she only had eleven more days until she left for the Olympics. If she could figure out where he fit into the puzzle before then, it would be one less person to deal with.
As he reached her side, she blurted, ‘You can stay.’
He paused. An unspoken war played out over his face. He wanted to stay, but at the same time, he didn’t. There was only one way she could think of to sway the decision to the former.
She dumped her bag, hat, and towel on the rocks beside her, kicked off her sandals and reached for the hem of her sundress.
* * *
Leave! You’re not supposed to be alone with her! His superiors would already fire a million questions at him once he told him they’d bumped into each other, and he wasn’t really supposed to be taking the day off. It hadn’t been cleared. How had he thought he was going to get away with this? In a tired stupor last night, it had seemed a good idea. Now … he should have listened to his gut instinct warning him the night before.
His mouth went dry, his anxiety dimmed, and his brain went blank as Nina lifted her dress up over her head.
She’d removed it without any intentional eroticism, yet desire simmered in the base of his stomach anyway. Her continued skiing and shooting practice had kept her figure toned and trim. Though her muscles were defined, they were also soft around the edges. Something he’d loved about her body the first time he’d seen it.
As he continued his inspection, she took a step forward and dipped her foot into the water. He grinned at how cute and unsure the action made her look.
An expression of delight passed over her face when she realised the water was warm and inviting. She stepped the rest of the way in. The water covered just below her hips. Leaving enough exposed skin for him to continue his ogling as she made her way over to him. Arms at her sides, the water parted as she waded through it.
He gulped in a chunk of hot air. The plain black bikini she wore looked anything but plain on her athletic body. He knew his pupils would be dilated and felt his pelvis warm. His body recalled all the times he’d touched those delicious curves …
He drew in a breath, to force some false courage through himself and muttered to himself, ‘God help me.’
Bobbing down until her shoulders where covered with water, she turned around to face him. ‘Are you coming back in?’
No. I have to go.
‘Sure.’
What the hell are you doing, Andrei?
The next thing he knew, he was marching back into the water. He tried to stop himself, but it seemed like his body had taken over.
His mind swarmed.
This is dangerous. You have to keep your distance. For yourself, as well as for the sake of the FSB. She cannot find out your secrets. She will despise you and all you have done. You can end up in prison—
Once again, his thought process was interrupted when she stood up. He couldn’t stop it when his gaze drew a slow path down her body. A shiver ran up his spine. He swore he saw her shiver too. Had she been checking him out at the same time? The way she looked away told him he was right.
She turned and said over her shoulder, ‘I’m going under.’
He watched her lift her arms in a graceful movement above her head, then throw herself forward into a beautiful mermaid-like dive.
When she surfaced, he clapped, ‘Bravo. I’m hopeless at diving … unless you count belly flops?’
She laughed. ‘I think most people don’t.’
He grinned, ‘Well, we do what we can with what we have. You grew up around sunshine and beaches. I grew up around …’ He felt his mouth flatten. He’d never shared information about his upbringing with her before. He noted a look as it passed over her face. One he’d seen before. A combination of both frustration and resignation at his lack of communication. Something softened inside him at the sight. After everything he’d put her through, she deserved as much truth as he could offer. He did a quick assessment of what information would be truthful without being too overt, then said, ‘I grew up on the streets of Russia. There wasn’t a lot of time for swimming.’
Compassion flooded her features. ‘Oh, Andrei. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.’
‘How were you to know? I didn’t tell you.’ She remained silent, but he could see what she was thinking—that he’d finally acknowledged it. He shrugged, ‘Besides, it is what it is and can’t be changed.’
Her brow furrowed. ‘It must have been hard.’
‘It was, but I came out of it okay. Wouldn’t you say?’
He tried to make it sound like a joke, but she didn’t laugh.
Instead, her eyes crinkled with concern as she asked, ‘What about your parents?’
‘What about them?’
‘Where were they? Why were you on the streets? Did they die?’ She clamped her mouth shut in a gesture that showed she’d realised she’d done exactly what she had in the past: shot him a multitude of questions. Ones he’d always refused to answer.
The same softening sensation came over him.
He caught her eye, and said, ‘My parents were … excuse my language … nasty pieces of shit.’ She nodded, but didn’t interrupt him, so he added, ‘I ran away from home when I was thirteen because I couldn’t take it anymore.’
She let the answer hang between them for a moment. Then she cleared her throat, and said in a soft tone, ‘You were just a child. How did you survive all that time?’
He sucked in a breath and glanced away. That was the trillion-dollar question, wasn’t it? He couldn’t tell her the complete truth. She was a cop. He knew how deep her passion for catching criminals ran. He also knew what her thoughts on criminals were. There’s no excuse for it. She wouldn’t be able to understand or forgive what he’d done. Nobody had so far.
He decided upon a non-answer, ‘It was hard … but when I was sixteen, somebody noticed my athletic—’ That was the best way he could think to describe his shooting abilities, which had drawn attention from not only the police, but higher-ups too. ‘—Talent and I was put through a series of tests and assigned a specialist-training program for biathlon. I had a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and soon learned that I loved biathlon. That’s all that mattered at the time.’
He spotted moisture forming in her eyes a second before she looked away without replying.
She was upset. For him. His heart tugged at the realisation. He let the urge to comfort her take over as he pushed through the water towards her.
He stopped an inch away, reached out, and gave her arm a gentle rub. ‘Hey, it’s okay.’
She pressed her lips together and shook her head. A tear trickled down her face.
‘Don’t cry. I’m fine. Really I am.’
She turned her head and stared up at him. Through sobs, she said, ‘All that time I was so angry at you for not telling me things about yourself. But you were barely twenty-four when we met. Those experiences would still have been fresh in your mind … it would have been so hard … and I kept pushing you …’
He stepped closer, and rubbed her arm again, as he shushed, ‘No. You did nothing wrong, Nina. It was all me. I’m so sorry.’
A flicker of butterflies in his stomach was the first thing to alert him to the coming danger. Then their eyes met. Andrei could almost hear the blood throbbing through his veins. Standing so close to her, seeing her so vulnerable, made him ache. At the same time, a rush of desire—too familiar and even more needy—coursed over him.
It was both bliss and agony.
Leave, Andrei!
He couldn’t. It was as if concrete had fixed him to the spot.
He saw her pupils dilate; his had to be dilated too. Her lips seemed fuller, as if a rush of blood had filled them. She licked her bottom lip. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear she was about to kiss him.
You can’t do this. Remember what’s at stake—
Just as sense was starting to loosen his feet from the grip that had taken them over, a cooling breeze swept past them. They both shivered. It broke the connection.
Nina took an abrupt step back and pulled her focus from him. ‘Thank you for sharing that with me. I appreciate it.’
‘Thank you for being so kind about it.’
She peeked up and nodded. Then turned briskly and said, ‘I should go.’
He didn’t try to stop her. This was for the best. The less time they spent alone together, the better. He could see that now. Any denial he’d still had that he could keep things professional and emotionally distant was squashed. When it came to Nina Farris, there would always be emotion. Passion. Connection.
Love.
He felt his eyes bulge at that thought, but knew it was true. There was no denying it anymore. Even though eight years had passed, he still loved her. Always had. Always would.
Of course he could never act on it.
If he couldn’t keep things professional and remain aloof, then he just needed to avoid her as much as possible. He needed to be strong and remember his fate if he gave into his feelings again.
A steady resolve swept through his chest.
He would redouble his efforts to solve the terrorist case; he would tell the FSB that Nina was not going to be useful—he’d worked alone all these years, he could do it again—and every other spare second would be spent in training.
There would be no time to think about Nina, nor the feelings being stirred up by seeing her.
He would tell his leader that he’d seen her today, alone, but she’d left straight away. They would know the truth, just not all of it. He would cover his hide and save it at the same time.
He watched Nina dart from the natural pool, pull on her dress, and grab the rest of her belongings. As she took a step away, she gave him a look that was neither a smile nor a frown, then bolted from the waterhole without looking back.
The action stirred a memory.
It was almost the same way she’d left him eight years ago.
* * *
‘Are you okay?’
Nina shook her head at Lizzie’s question, ‘I can’t believe I was almost fooled by him again. He tells me one sob story just to get my sympathy and I fall for it.’
Lizzie offered a weak smile. ‘What motive could he have for making it up?’
‘I don’t know. I’m so confused.’
Who was this man? Had his story been the truth? Why tell her now, all of a sudden? What had changed?
The uncharacteristic confessions about his childhood, and the awful conclusions she’d come to about what he must have gone through living on the streets—it had to be the explanation for his criminal past. How else could he have survived?—had wrapped around her heart and squeezed compassion out.
More alarming and confusing than any of that had been the way her stupid body had reacted at such an inappropriate time. He’d made a heartfelt admission and she’d responded with an impulse to kiss him!
Not to mention the things she’d noticed before their conversation.
When she’d approached him, she’d seen the way his gaze had appreciated her body. Her body had softened and warmed under his appreciative stare. She’d responded in kind, noting every familiar contour of his body—
She shook the memories clear. Andrei was a spy, well-versed in the art of lies and seduction. He’d never loved her. Remember?
‘Maybe it was a bad idea expecting you to get close to him. I’m sorry, I should have vetoed it when Carrie brought it up.’
Nina reached out and clasped her middle sister’s hand, ‘Don’t be.’
Before any other comments could be made, Nina rose and announced, ‘Thanks for listening, but I should probably get home and shower before I catch cold.’
She’d driven straight to Lizzie’s from the waterhole. Middle sister’s unit was closer to Nina’s townhouse than Carrie’s apartment.
Lizzie stood and gave her a hug, ‘Call later if you need to talk more.’
Nina smiled, ‘I will. Thanks.’
A short time later, she was back at her townhouse, and thinking about him again. In particular, the way she’d reacted upon seeing him half-naked in the waterhole. Her body hadn’t forgotten him.
Charges of electricity had pulsed over her, from her feet to her head; the breath in her lungs had stalled; her heart had started to dance to some silent serenade. It had seemed like some type of invisible magnet was pulling her toward him, compelling her to kiss him.
The strength of the reaction had taken her by such intense surprise that she’d had to take a step back and look away just to be able to gain some modicum of control over it.
At one time, they’d been inseparable. Things had been good between them. More than good. If she borrowed a term used by Lizzie, she’d say it had been ‘magical’.
They’d loved each other, hadn’t they?
It can’t all have been in her imagination. Was he really that good at lying?
Aside from the day he’d broken up with her, he’d been attentive, caring, supportive. They’d shared the same ambition and interests. They’d been able to talk about every impersonal topic imaginable. No other man had been able to keep her intellectually stimulated in the same way.
As for the sex … erotic and sizzling didn’t cover half of what they’d experienced. She’d never felt more desirable and wanted by a man before. He’d never made her feel like she had to compete with every other woman in the room. He’d never made insulting comments about her and her sisters. She’d felt like The One and she’d been sure she was his.
She frowned. Had all of it been lies? Is that what he’d meant by the ‘not being a good man’ comment? Or was it a reference to his criminal past? Or was it something else entirely? Like being a spy? Or a terrorist. Both?
Her frown deepened. So many secrets and unanswered questions. As much as she could see he’d changed in some respects, such as opening up to her more—if any of that was even true—the main issues remained.
Lies. Dishonesty. Mistrust.
Could she believe anything he told her?
Not if she went by past behaviour. Absolutely not if he was a spy or terrorist.
She felt a stab in her heart. It went deep and made her pay attention.
That was when she knew for sure what she’d been trying to deny since she’d first seen his face on the television months earlier … she was still in love with Andrei.
She whispered, ‘It doesn’t matter.’
It was love that was based on a lie, which wasn’
t love at all.
She could not go through this with him again. She could not be lied to and betrayed and have her heart broken.
I am not making the same mistake twice.
So what if her body was behaving like a stupid twenty-something? She was a mature woman now, who had learned her lessons in love. She was stronger and in control. The number of times she’d had to get information from a suspect she’d had personal feelings of distaste towards were too numerous to count. She could do this without getting hurt or emotionally invested.
All she had to do was remind herself of what he’d done to her. Add to that the espionage link and he was one million per cent not to be trusted.
Tomorrow would be the first day of her new daily training schedule. Andrei would be there. It would be impossible to escape him. She had to get close enough to find out what she needed from him, but not too close to allow her heart to be broken.
Now that she had to rule out avoiding him, she needed a new survival plan.
She thought for a moment.
It would have to involve absolutely no skin-to-skin contact, always maintaining a distance of at least half a metre between them, avoiding eye contact with him as much as possible, never being alone in the same room—or secluded waterhole—with him, and only talking to him when it was necessary.
Determined, she went to her list of suspects. It would be a good distraction if she focused on work. As she peeked at the page, she spotted Andrei’s name first.
She groaned aloud, ‘Ugh.’
Would she ever be able to escape him … and the hold he clearly still had on her heart?
Chapter 17
After another successful training session the following morning, Coach Trusseau gathered them together for an impromptu meeting. Nina took a seat on one of the benches at the base of the slope. Murmurs and whispers around her told her that nobody knew what this was about.
She caught a glimpse of Andrei as he took a seat on the bench beside hers. A quick check showed her they were at least fifty centimetres apart. Good. Survival plan was in force.
Marcel shushed everyone. She faced him.