Lexie’s body was warm and soft as he pulled her into him. So damn irresistible.
Resting his eyes, knowing he couldn’t be with her forever, Asher memorized the moment, determined to remember the feel of Lexie in his arms.
* * *
Lexie took a deep breath. For the first time in days, she didn’t wake wanting to be sick.
Squinting one eye open, she noticed that it wasn’t actually morning. The room wasn’t bright enough. Too many shadows spread across the room.
Then the warm body behind her registered, and the memory of that morning came back to her. Asher had come over. Was still over. In bed with her. He had fed Lexie broth.
Scrunching her eyes shut, Lexie wanted to groan from embarrassment. But that would alert Asher to her consciousness.
She’d felt like death every morning this week, and her stomach had been empty most of that time. But not now. It must have been the broth. Mrs. Potter’s magical broth.
She had to remember to eat. She’d researched that eating regular small meals while pregnant kept the nausea at bay. Not to mention her baby needed nutrients.
Crap, Lexie needed to do better.
A good night’s sleep was also essential for both mom and baby during pregnancy. But worry had kept her awake. Asher’s warm body probably went a long way in soothing her tired body into a calm sleep.
At the thought of Asher’s body, it moved behind her, his hardness rubbing against Lexie’s butt. As if it had a mind of its own, her butt wiggled against him, though she knew it would do nothing to calm him.
“Lexie,” Asher growled.
Jeez, the man even had a sexy afternoon voice.
Rolling onto her back, she looked at Asher’s huge body as he leaned over her.
His brows pulled into a frown. “How do you look so much better?”
Lexie scrambled for a response. “I probably just ate something that made me temporarily ill. I’m feeling a lot better.”
Asher’s perceptive eyes inspected her face. Crap, the man could sense a lie a mile off. “A few hours ago, you looked a step away from needing a trip to the emergency department.”
Giving a little shrug, Lexie struggled to think of a plausible excuse. “I don’t know what to say, Asher, Mrs. Potter’s soup has magical healing powers.”
Which was the truth.
As his gaze continued to inspect her far too closely, she lowered her own to his muscular chest. His naked, muscular chest.
The man was a piece of art. And she wanted him.
The exhaustion and fear of the last week suddenly felt too much for Lexie. Keeping the secret of her pregnancy was both challenging and lonely. The knowledge that her world was about to change scared the absolute heck out of her.
And in this moment, being with Asher, felt like an escape. An escape she needed so very badly. She almost felt a desperate need to be touched by him. Held.
Even though she had told him she was done. Told herself she was done. She wanted him with a ferocity she had rarely felt in her life.
Giving in to the desperate yearning inside her, Lexie reached out to touch his powerful chest. Her fingertips slid across warm skin. At the same time, she lifted her left leg until her foot hooked around his muscular thigh.
“Lexie…” Asher’s voice was deep, guttural.
Pulling his hips down with her leg, she knew Asher could easily have remained where he was, but instead, he lowered his hips, his hardness pressing against Lexie’s core, making her heat up.
Lifting her head, Lexie placed her lips against Asher’s neck, suckling the skin. “Asher, I’m okay.” Her words came out in a whisper. Rocking her hips against his, she felt his muscles bunch from obvious self-restraint. “I need you.”
She needed him with an intensity so strong, she was scared of what might happen if he rolled away.
“You kill me, Lexie.”
The deep words were the only warning she got before his lips crashed onto hers. All thoughts of going slow were wiped away by the explosive kiss.
His hand pushed up her shirt, engulfing her breast.
A groan escaped Lexie, swallowed by Asher’s lips. Grabbing his hair, she pressed against him harder, the barrier of clothing frustrating her.
As if reading her mind, Asher lifted her shirt over her head in one swift move, then pushed her pajama shorts down her body.
Lexie lay bare beneath him, loving the heat in his eyes as he scanned her from head to toe. The man looked at her like she’d been made just for him.
And it sure as hell felt that way to Lexie.
Pushing down his pants, Asher came back to her, mouth going straight to Lexie’s.
There was no slow or gentle in their lovemaking. It was hard and fast, like every other time. As though neither of them could wait to be connected.
Asher nipped her neck at the same time his hand lowered between her thighs, immediately pressing a finger inside her. Lexie jolted at the glorious invasion.
Arching her back, she groaned as she reached down and wrapped her fingers around him. He was rock solid.
She needed him, and she needed him now. It had always been like that between them. Too much need, never enough patience.
Asher’s chest rumbled as she firmed her grip. “Fuck, what do you do to me, Lex?”
Lexie knew exactly what she did to him. It was the same thing he did to her.
“I want you inside me.” Lexie’s words were almost incomprehensible. Drawn from her chest in a gasp.
Lifting her right leg, Asher pushed it to the side to widen her thighs farther. His fingers slid back to her core, this time rubbing her sensitive clit.
Whimpering in desperation, Lexie wanted to scream.
Asher’s fingers rubbed and circled as she thrashed her head side to side. Just when she thought she couldn’t take the torture any longer, he lifted his body away from hers.
A desperate need came over her to pull him back. But then heard the crackle from the end of the bed. Asher was putting on a condom.
Lexie went still, momentarily pulled out of her lust-filled craze. But then Asher was back, positioning himself at her entrance, and all coherent thought was lost.
Lowering his hips, Asher pushed inside Lexie, filling her. She gasped quick breaths in and out as he began to thrust. Each time he lowered, a new round of pleasure rocked her body.
This. This is what she’d needed. Craved. Him. All of him. To take her away from everything and throw her into bliss.
Increasing his pace, Asher drove into Lexie, pushing her closer to her release. Each sensation was so intense, she was afraid she might just explode from pleasure right there and then. But she wanted to hold off. Make it last as long as possible.
Lowering his head, Asher sealed his lips to Lexie’s, tongue immediately invading her mouth and massaging. Lexie pulled at his hair. Back arching off the bed, she grazed her sensitive nipples against his chest, creating a new wave of sensations.
As an orgasm rippled through her body, fast and hard, Lexie cried out and latched on to his shoulders as her walls tightened around him.
Asher kept thrusting. Relentless. Prolonging her feelings of ecstasy. Then, his powerful body shuddered above her.
Letting out a deep growl, he hung his head. His chest rose and fell as he held himself above her before he rolled to the side.
The room was silent for a moment, barring their deep breaths.
“Every time I convince myself I can live without you, you do something like that,” Lexie said quietly.
Although, it wasn’t just the sex. It was his coming to check on her when she’d called in sick for work. The making sure she was fed. Caring about her health and wellbeing
Maybe she should just tell him about the pregnancy now. There was no way what she felt for him could be one-sided. Every time she was with him, there was an undeniable connection.
Turning her head, Lexie opened her mouth to speak—but Asher jumped in first.
“We’re amazing toget
her, Lex. What we’ve had has always been amazing.”
She paused, turning his words over in her mind. “What we’ve always had?”
Asher rolled to his side, resting his head on his hand. “Yeah. Us keeping things private. Just you and me.”
And by private, Asher meant free of commitment. Labels.
Asher began to stroke the crevice between Lexie’s breasts. Normally, that would send her right back into his arms. This time, she wanted to rip his arm right from its socket and feed it to the wolves.
Instead of yelling and screaming at the brainless man, Lexie gave him a sweet smile. “You’re right. Complete absence of romantic date nights, the odd fuck here and there—oh, and let’s not forget the lack of commitments and no one sharing any secrets. What’s not to love?”
The smile dropped from Asher’s face at the same time that Lexie shoved at his gigantic chest. Her effort was futile, because the man didn’t move an inch, but it sure made her feel better.
Rising from the bed, Lexie grabbed her oversized shirt and threw it over her head.
“Lexie—”
“I appreciate you coming over and checking on me, but I’d like you to leave now.”
Before I break down in tears in front of you.
Walking to the front door, Lexie opened it then waited. It took a few moments for Asher to join her. When he did he was fully dressed.
Lexie wanted to slap herself for falling into the same routine time and again. It was her fault. Entirely her fault. For wanting the man. For willingly giving him her body again even when she’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t.
Lexie felt weak. And she hated that.
Asher’s hair was tousled as he stood in front of her, the shirt pulled tightly against his broad chest and shoulders. He looked exactly like the no-commitment bachelor that he was. Probably what he would always be.
“Lexie, you don’t need to push me away.”
“I do, Asher. Because I care about you a lot. Too much. So much that your wanting to keep this casual,” Lexie said the word with air quotes, “is like you reaching into my chest and tearing out my heart. I want a partner who wants me just as much. It has to be all or nothing.”
Asher took a step closer, but she placed a hand to his chest.
This time when she spoke, her voice cracked slightly. “Please, Asher, if you care about me at all, you’ll commit to me, be my boyfriend and share your life with me…or leave me alone.”
It was difficult to say those last four words, but see couldn’t see any alternative.
War raged in Asher’s eyes. A small amount of hope built inside her that he would choose her over whatever block that was stopping him from letting her in.
Until he nodded and left.
Lexie released a pained breath and slowly shut the door.
Yep, that was the feeling of her heart shattering.
5
Lexie dragged her feet as she walked to work.
She was ten weeks pregnant. Ten weeks and two days, to be exact.
A month had passed since taking the tests, and two weeks since she’d dragged herself to a doctor. She’d driven over an hour out of town to see one.
The drive had been worth it. Marble Falls was small. Too small. Even walking into a doctor’s clinic would make people talk. Raise questions that she wasn’t ready to answer yet.
The doctor had said nausea and fatigue were normal during pregnancy, but the prenatal vitamins prescribed should help.
Well, two weeks later and those vitamins had done nothing. She never felt a hundred percent well. Feeling sick and tired had become her new normal.
Mornings were the hardest. Lexie had quickly realized that the only way to not end up bedridden half the day was to force herself to eat something as soon as her eyes opened. If her stomach was empty, functioning was impossible.
She had resorted to keeping ginger cookies and dry crackers next to her bed.
Dragging herself out into the fresh air helped, too. That was why she was making herself walk to work even though each step was the world’s greatest effort.
In two more weeks, she planned to tell Asher. The thought edged her close to mild panic attacks. They’d barely spoken since she’d kicked him out of her apartment. No late-night texts, no sneaking up on her at work when no one was around.
What would happen once he knew she was carrying his baby? Her own father had picked up and left.
Lexie didn’t think Asher would go that far, but she also doubted he’d be throwing her in the air and doing a happy dance.
As Lexie neared Marble Protection, the ringing of her phone jolted her from her thoughts. Fishing it out of her bag, Lexie groaned out loud when she saw who it was.
Gwen. Her mother.
The woman only ever called for one thing. Money.
“Hi, Mom.”
Her mother’s husky voice sounded through the phone. The woman was getting older, and Lexie could hear it. She was sure the alcohol abuse did nothing to slow the aging process. “Lexie, baby, how are you?” Raising a brow, Lexie didn’t have the energy for her mother’s problems today. “I’m fine, Mom, how are you?”
“I—I’m good.” The hesitation in Gwen’s voice was telling. Lexie already knew what was coming next. “I was wondering if I’d be able to borrow some money.”
Lexie wanted to laugh out loud at the word borrow. Borrow inferred any money given would be paid back. Her mother called multiple times a year, always asking for money, and not once had Gwen paid back a single cent.
Not that Lexie expected her to. She knew exactly how quickly that money would be spent and what it would be used for. You couldn’t get a refund for alcohol once the bottle was empty.
She had considered saying no in the past. But she worried about the lengths to which her mother would go to feed her addiction.
“How much do you need, Mom?”
Lexie didn’t have a lot of spare money, though the guys at Marble Protection paid her well. Very well for a receptionist. She made sure to put a little bit of each paycheck away, ready for the next call from Gwen.
“Just a few hundred dollars. And I’ll get it back to you this time, baby, I promise.”
She rolled her eyes even though her mother wouldn’t be able to see. “I’ll transfer it today.”
Lexie stopped walking once she was standing outside Marble. She subconsciously tapped her foot, eager to get off the phone.
“Thank you, baby girl.”
“Bye, Mom.” Lexie hung up.
She hadn’t been her mother’s baby girl in a long time. Possibly ever. She had pretty much raised herself, all while ensuring her mother didn’t kill herself along the way.
Massaging her forehead, Lexie felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. Dammit. Add that to the grocery list of ailments Lexie was experiencing.
Pushing through the door, Lexie went straight behind the counter and set up for the day. God, she hated being a grump. She needed to cheer the heck up, and fast. There was the chance that she would be feeling unwell for the next six and a half months. No way did she want to be gloomy that whole time.
Then another thought hit Lexie. Did being stressed affect the baby?
Hand subconsciously going to her stomach, she rubbed her slightly protruding belly. Not that anyone would notice the tiny bump. Particularly in her baggy sweater.
“Hey.”
Whipping around at the sound of Shylah’s voice, Lexie quickly dropped her hand to her side. “Hey, Shy, what are you doing here?”
Even though Shylah was in a relationship with Eden, she rarely made it down to Marble. Partly due to her shiftwork at the hospital, and partly because she and Eden lived a bit farther out from the main town area.
“The guys are just looking at my car around the back. It’s been making some strange noises. Then Eden and I are going to Joan’s Diner for breakfast. I’m on my lunch break at the hospital, well, breakfast for me, so figured we could fit in a sneaky date.”
&nbs
p; “Early as in…”
“Five a.m. start.”
Lexie’s eyes widened. Jeez Louise, even when she felt in tip-top shape, there was no way she was out of bed that early, let alone at work already.
“You’ve definitely earned yourself some breakfast.”
Shylah shrugged, causing her brown ponytail to swish. “Could be worse. I could be given night shift.”
That was worse. The only thing worse than rising before the sun was never making it to bed to begin with. “You’re right, that is worse, and a definite nonoption if anyone ever asked me. This lady needs her beauty sleep.”
Not that she was getting it at the moment. Apparently, baby didn’t want her mama to sleep.
Shylah glanced around the room before taking a small step closer to Lexie and lowering her voice. “I’ve been meaning to check in with you. I wanted to make sure that everything was okay? You’ve seemed a bit off the last month or so. Not the normal high-energy Lexie. Even today you look a bit tense.”
Lexie wanted to slap her forehead for not hiding it better. If Shylah could tell she wasn’t herself, then she could bet her pregnant ass the nosy SEAL boys knew something was up.
“I’m okay. I’ve just got a headache today.” Shylah opened her mouth to say something else but Lexie quickly cut in before she could. “I’m just going to pop into the back room and grab some supplies.”
Moving down the hall, Lexie didn’t look back, too scared her friend would see the word pregnant stamped across her forehead.
The storage room was at the back of the building, beside a door leading out to the parking lot. Once she’d stepped inside, Lexie frowned. She didn’t actually need anything but if she returned to the front with nothing, Shylah would see her leaving for the avoidance tactic that it was.
Lexie scanned the room. A cupboard at the back stored cleaning supplies while boxes were stacked on open shelving to the right. Lifting her gaze to an upper shelf, Lexie spotted a box that she’d refilled only last week. It contained highlighters and sticky notes. Heck, she never had enough of either at the desk.
Asher: A steamy contemporary military romance (Project Arma Book 3) Page 4