* * *
Nursing her own hurt on the other side of the door connecting their rooms, Melissa would have been surprised had she known how Laurence suffered in turn over what had just happened and how he reached for the brandy decanter, pouring himself a generous slug in an attempt to drown his pain when he considered his recent harsh treatment of his wife. His wife! He had never intended marrying again, not after his first marriage had ended in tragedy, but he’d had no choice in the matter. The pleasure he had just experienced in Melissa’s bed swiftly darkened into a sour irascibility. So, he thought, that was the way she would have it. She could not have spoken plainer. It had not occurred to him that the beautiful temptress who had surrendered so readily in his arms, who’d returned his passion with such intoxicating sweetness, might no longer be won over so easily.
He’d closed his heart and mind to protect his own feelings, but it had only created an insurmountable barrier between them. His wife had also erected a high barrier around herself, but not for one minute did he believe it was impregnable. Melissa was a warm and passionate woman—he was confident that he could succeed in luring her into bed any time he chose. But for the time being he would do as she asked. She was right. Everything had happened in a rush of late. Perhaps it would be prudent to take things a day at a time.
Before they had sat down to dinner she had apologised for prying into his past and been generously reassuring in response to his disclosures. His dead wife was a subject he tried not to think about, but Melissa’s reminder had brought it all back and he gave in to the memories as he lay awake and restless in bed.
* * *
When morning dawned, he left the house to take care of some business matters without seeing Melissa. He was beginning to discover the whole tenor of his life was changing with Melissa now in it. Constant awareness of her presence kept him in a perpetual state of confusion. The intimacy they had shared made it even harder to detach himself. She was no longer just a woman he had made love to almost two years ago. She was a woman, a mother, a wife. His wife. Enough was enough, he decided. He couldn’t be ruled by the past. It was time, finally, to see what life with Melissa had to offer him.
* * *
With each new day the bond between Laurence and his daughter grew stronger. Utterly enchanted by the child, who always went trustingly and gladly into his arms, he doted on her. As young as she was Violet liked being with her father and she always met his overtures with ecstatic gurgling. Watching her, in her childlike innocence, talking to her, feeling her little fingers curl round his, Melissa observed him playing the fool for his daughter’s entertainment. The child would gaze up at him, her eyes wide open, and call him Papa.
Melissa often found them asleep together in a chair before the fire in the nursery, Violet curled up against his chest. The charming scene would bring tears to her eyes and a twinge of envy, wishing she was the one resting her head on Laurence’s chest. At other times Violet would put her arms about his neck and hug him, then begin to wriggle, for the attention span of such a young child was limited. She would scramble away and totter about the nursery. Laurence would sit for a while and watch her, his expression conveying a rare softness and pleasure. Melissa sensed there was something inside him that was still crying out for his son. Deprived of his beloved Toby, she hoped Violet had come to replenish the aching hollow left inside him by his son’s death.
Where Melissa was concerned, his eyes were always guarded. They were polite with one another, pleasant even, both of them doing their best to begin the process of making something of their lives together. Melissa didn’t wish him to see how desperately she wanted him. Her heart yearned for a two-way affection, where all the emotion wasn’t only on her side.
When he had taken her to bed there had been no intention on his part other than to seal their vows and on hers to accept it. How could any woman fail to respond to the sheer masculinity of this man? The gleam of those magnificent eyes, the curve of his lips which gave an enchantment to his stern features. She sighed as her heart sank under the weight of hopelessness. She was a fool if she expected anything other than kindness and respect from him. It would have to be enough. She would have to take the utmost care not to show him what was in her heart.
When he was at home he would disappear into his study where he would pore over accounts, assessing profits from his many business assets, even though he employed accountants and lawyers to do it for him. He would remain in his study for hours at a time, occasionally leaving for wherever it was he went to conduct more of his business. He was always rushing and he always had something else to do, somewhere else to be. There was an energy about him that kept Melissa charged. One time she accompanied him across the hall, telling him that he worked too hard and enquiring if he would be home for dinner.
Laurence’s eyes snapped to hers, his mouth curving into a humourless half-smile. ‘I can’t say. As soon as it is possible we will be leaving for Surrey, but I have many business transactions to take care of which can only be done here. Owing to the war in France, there is an economic crisis. If I am not in London to discuss matters at first hand with my business managers and bankers, the implications could prove disastrous.’
The length and speed of his strides made it necessary for Melissa to all but run to keep up with him. She watched him stride away from her and hurry down the steps, his overcoat flapping behind him. Ever since she had known him he was always in a hurry. Even when he wanted his horse or the carriage it was always ‘Hurry up, man!’ to the groom and he never lingered at the table when he’d finished a meal. It must be very exhausting being Laurence Maxwell.
During the day she could immerse herself in things to do to distract her mind, drawn by circumstances into a daily routine of household actions and decisions that she would have once thought to be totally alien to her character. With Mrs Evans’s help she began to learn everything there was to know about the running of the house, which would also benefit her when they went to Winchcombe. She spent a great deal of her time with Violet.
Laurence often didn’t appear for dinner. Melissa would hear him moving about on the other side of their connecting door during the night, but he had not come to her bed since that night they had arrived in London.
* * *
Eliza was Melissa’s godsend. She followed fashion faithfully and was always beautifully dressed—Melissa felt plain by comparison—a small hat perched on top of her elegant coiffure. She was grateful for the time Eliza took arranging her wardrobe. Laurence had insisted that she be fitted out for every occasion and that no expense was to be spared. Melissa was shocked to find Eliza took him at his word and escorted Melissa to the largest and finest of shops, visiting some of the most fashionable modistes in Bruton Street and Bond Street.
Melissa stared about her with interest, thinking how her mother would love all this. Eliza was clearly a valued customer. After exchanging polite remarks the proprietor would summon her assistants. When Melissa and Eliza were accommodated on chairs they unrolled the choicest wares for their inspection. Sapphire and dusky rose and rippling turquoise, satins and silks, cut velvets and embossed brocades were displayed.
* * *
‘I seem to be putting you to so much trouble,’ Melissa remarked when they were in the carriage taking them to Mortimer House in Piccadilly, where Eliza and Antony were residing with Sir Gerald Mortimer, Eliza’s brother. It was close to the Strand and they were both in need of refreshment. Eliza had told Melissa her brother was out of town visiting friends in Brighton and was not expected back until the following day. The only time Laurence had mentioned Eliza’s brother had left Melissa in no doubt that he had no liking for him and might not be at all pleased to discover she had visited his house. She recalled him telling her that he had nothing to recommend him in either character or manner, which had aroused Melissa’s curiosity. She felt some expression of gratitude was due after one particularly heavy shopping trip to Covent G
arden and the Strand. ‘I realise my wardrobe is hardly up to London standards and it is indeed kind of you to give up so much of your time for me.’
‘I enjoy doing it, so indulge me, Melissa. Laurence is Antony’s closest friend so it is the least I can do. Besides, you won’t have seen the papers but the society columns in The Times and the Gazette are full of your marriage to Laurence. The journalists are having a field day. Everyone was beginning to think he would never marry again.’
Melissa had read some of the comments in the newspapers with interest and amusement at some and anger at others. There was a great deal of discussion about her background, which was so significantly lower than Maxwell’s. Statements about her life were bandied about, along with the news that she’d had a lengthy affair with Laurence before they married which had resulted in a child. Comments were made about her looks, her lack of a substantial dowry and her connections, which were hardly worthy of Lord Maxwell’s lofty position. All this pointed to her complete unsuitability as his bride and led to some papers wondering if Laurence Maxwell had suffered some kind of mental problem following his first wife’s death.
‘The papers have written some hurtful things about me, that I do know. I do my best to ignore them, but after leading such a private life I hate knowing I am being discussed by people who do not even know me. Most of it isn’t true, but I suppose the scandalmongers will have their day.’
‘They will, that you can be sure of. For Laurence Maxwell, to turn up with a wife—well—everyone has been speculating what you will be like. You will be watched, studied and gossiped about so you must prepare yourself, for much of that gossip will not be favourable. People can be cruel at the best of times, full of envy and avarice.’
‘Then I will simply have to face up to it. What else can I do?’
‘Have you fallen in love with him, Melissa?’
‘In all honesty I don’t know how I feel. Laurence—he—he makes me feel things I have never felt before. I like being with him. I like it when he smiles and laughs. I—do care for him, Eliza—deeply.’
Eliza smiled. ‘There you are, then. If it isn’t love you feel now, it soon will be.’
‘I know you mean well, Eliza, but I know very little about my husband. He—he refuses to speak of his first wife.’
‘I can see how difficult all this must be for you, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Laurence can be rather overbearing and intimidating at times, but it is not intentional,’ she added in an attempt to soften Laurence’s character. ‘He works hard and demands too much of himself—especially since the death of Alice—and he expects others to have the same drive and determination.’
‘Yes—I have seen that for myself.’
‘His life has not always been easy. Financially his family was not well off—which was due to his grandfather who was a spendthrift. He has made all his money himself. According to Antony, from an early age it was clear to everyone that Laurence had been gifted with a superior intelligence. He learned fast and prospered, bringing some pride and honour back to the Maxwell name. Through hard work and determination he owns ships that fly his flag and land both here and abroad, where minerals of one kind or another are mined. Your husband, Melissa, is one of the wealthiest men in the country.’
Melissa stared at Eliza in dazed disbelief. ‘As rich as that? I knew he was wealthy, but I find the extent of it astonishing.’
‘He has a brilliant mind for business and invests his money wisely—although the war in France is causing him a good deal of worry. Some men gamble—Laurence is a businessman. He thinks too much of his money to throw it away at the tables. I’m not saying he isn’t averse to a game of cards or dice now and then, or that he doesn’t enjoy it when he does, but he plays purely for enjoyment. Although I suppose you could call him a gambler of sorts—thriving the way he does on taking risks on investments, driven by the thrill of the wager.’ She looked at Melissa steadily. ‘You—know that Laurence had a son, don’t you, Melissa?’
Melissa nodded. ‘Yes—Mrs Evans told me, although I suppose I would have found out eventually. I—I wish Laurence had told me himself—before we married.’
‘Why? Would it have made a difference to your decision?’
‘No—of course not. It would just have been nice to know, that’s all.’
‘Yes, I can understand that, but try to make allowances for him, Melissa. He—doesn’t find it easy to talk about Toby. He was such a lovely little boy—Violet resembles him.’ Eliza glanced away, choosing her words with care when she next spoke. ‘Laurence tries to give the impression that he doesn’t need anyone. He has learned to deal with tragedy and adversity in his own way. His scars are deep. If he weren’t so strong in mind and body, I doubt he would have survived after the accident.’
‘Will you not tell me about Alice? Unless you feel you would be betraying a trust...’
‘I wouldn’t be doing that—even though Laurence might see it that way. I had hoped he would have told you how it was between him and Alice by now. To enable you to understand him better, it’s as well you should know. They fought—often bitterly. When she died along with their son, he took it hard—he blamed himself for what happened—for not being there. Afterwards he took himself off to France to sort out his affairs, not caring whether he lived or died. It’s no secret what happened. Alice hurt him very badly. She was beautiful—and ambitious—a social climber. Her father was a government official. When she met Laurence he seemed like a good proposition—even though she was involved with someone else at the time. Money and status and Laurence’s indelible mark of success proved irresistible to her. She married him for what he could give her.’
‘She—she didn’t love him?’
Eliza sighed. ‘I knew her well—I couldn’t bring myself to dislike her—but I don’t believe she did. Her—her heart was engaged elsewhere. Unfortunately, that particular gentleman couldn’t give her the material things that Laurence could. Alice did well out of the marriage—Laurence showered her with jewels and gave her anything she asked for. The trouble was that work had always played a large part in his life and he spent long periods away from her—leaving Alice to do as she pleased. That was when it started to go wrong. The only good thing to come out of her marriage to Laurence was Toby.’
‘Laurence must have been beside himself with grief when he died. What a terrible tragedy. How—how did the accident happen?’ Melissa asked in a small voice, dreading what Eliza would tell her, but needing to know.
‘Unfortunately the carriage was travelling too fast and it overturned—killing both her and Toby.’
Melissa’s eyes glazed with tears. She felt devastated by what Eliza had revealed to her, which went a long way to helping her understand Laurence and how hard it was for him to talk about what had happened to him. He had lost so much. In his own way he had isolated himself from the world because his wife had destroyed everything he had held dear, everything he had loved. His son.
She swallowed down her tears. ‘I didn’t know—I never thought... Never imagined it was anything like this. Alice must have been quite mercenary to marry someone just for wealth and social position. How miserable and hurt Laurence must have been to discover it. I know how proud he is—and how much his pride must have been mangled when he learned what had happened.’
‘He was. Very badly. He lost himself in his work with a blind, instinctive faith as his only hope for survival. It is a subject he always avoids talking about, but since that time he has held virtually every woman he has come into contact with in complete contempt. From the moment he married Alice things did not go well for him—in his private or business life. His liberty became important to him and I hope in the future his life will be conducted in less turbulent waters.’
‘Thank you for telling me, Eliza. I appreciate it.’
‘Don’t give up on him, Melissa. Whatever went on between the two of you in the Spring G
ardens cured him—it was the first time he’d shown any true interest in a woman since Alice. It worked far better than anything else could have. I don’t know what it is you’ve done to him, but whatever it is, it’s a good thing. He needs you, Melissa—though he may not know it yet. He needs someone to save him from himself—to heal wounds that are deep, to teach him how to love and be loved in return.’
‘He will have to learn to trust me.’
‘When he does that, he will give you the world. I promise you.’
Melissa turned her head and looked out of the window to hide her discomposure, her mind on Laurence. There was a tight feeling in her throat and she felt as if she wanted to cry. She swallowed hard. The very idea of Laurence needing her was an unsubstantiated idea, one that struck a deep and responsive chord in her heart. No one had ever needed her before, only Violet, but the needs of a child were different to the needs of one’s husband. The fact that she might help Laurence by being his wife seemed incredible and strangely appealing. Eliza said Laurence blamed himself for the death of his wife and son—whether he was or not, he had been deeply affected by it and the pain he’d suffered had left scars deeper than any physical wound.
His suffering aroused her protective instincts. Her feelings for him went deeper than compassion. She wanted to help him, to soothe his grief. From the start she had been physically attracted to him and she’d thought before that she might love him; now, knowing what she did about his past tragedy, she was certain that she was in danger of irretrievably losing her heart to him.
True, he was frequently moody, distant and unapproachable, but the more she contemplated the matter, the more convinced she became that Eliza was right—Laurence needed to feel wanted and loved and Melissa was absolutely up to the task.
Wedded for His Secret Child Page 11