‘Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, if it makes you feel better,’ he growled back.
And that was it. I’d had enough of him. A blistering anger rose through me and without thinking I reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled with all my strength. The material must have had a high silk content because the top four buttons easily tore away, leaving his shirt gaping open and giving me a spectacular view of his muscular chest.
Neither of us reacted at first, both of us too shocked by what I’d done. Then, before I had chance to stop him, Jamie reached out and grasped the front of my dress and did the same thing to me, tearing a deep valley down the front of it and exposing my breasts, which unfortunately I’d chosen not to encase in a bra that evening so as not to ruin the line of my outfit.
I let out a low scream of frustration, not just because he’d totally ruined my beautiful dress, but because I was now completely exposed to his mocking gaze.
Through the red haze that descended over my eyes, I saw him lift a hand in apology. ‘Shit, April, sorry, I didn’t—’
But I didn’t want to hear it. I was way past trying to make any kind of peace with him. I wanted to hurt him, like he’d hurt me. Repeatedly. For years. But the words wouldn’t come. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say that would penetrate that thick hide of his so, in the absence of a better idea, I pulled back my arm and slapped him hard across the face.
The violent sound of it rang around the small room, but somehow still failed to penetrate my rational consciousness. I seemed to be in some sort of incensed rage that incrementally had been building for years, so I simply swung my arm back again and attempted to repeat what I’d just done.
This time he was too quick for me and managed to grab my wrist before my hand made contact with his cheek again. He gripped me tightly, staring into my eyes and shaking his head in silent warning. But I wasn’t having it. I wasn’t going to let him subdue me. So I raised my free arm and swung that towards the other side of his face.
He seemed to be anticipating this, though, and managed to grab hold of that one as well then twist us round and pin me against the window, holding both of my wrists in his large hands, effectively confining my wrath.
‘Stop!’ he ordered me as anger and something that looked suspiciously like desire flashed in his eyes.
We were both breathing hard now, the sound of it loud and raw in the otherwise silent room.
I should have felt scared and defenceless, alone with him and physically overpowered like this.
But I wasn’t afraid. In fact, I felt weirdly jubilant.
I had the strangest urge to push him as far as I could, just to see what he’d do. I wanted to force him to act, force him to the very edge of his comfort zone, and perhaps even past it. To make him feel as off-balance as I did right then. I was determined not to be the only one fighting to stay in control.
‘What are you gonna do now, huh?’ I growled at him. ‘Now you have me trapped here, half-naked and vulnerable.’
I stared into those striking eyes of his, hyper-aware of my bare breasts rising and falling only centimetres away from his own exposed chest. My nipples were rock-hard and felt super-sensitised and I was intensely conscious that it wasn’t just the cold breeze that was responsible.
Something flickered in his eyes and they appeared to grow darker as his pupils dilated.
It suddenly felt as if we were on the cusp of something—something new and dangerous.
And my whole body ached for it.
But to my frustration he loosened his grip on my wrists and backed away from me, his handsome face drawn into a deep scowl but his eyes still betraying a heated longing.
A moment of pure, sweet wistfulness hit me as a memory flitted through my mind of how he used to look at me with the same kind of unadulterated need.
We’d had a wild time together what felt like a lifetime ago now, experimenting with all kinds of crazy stuff—mostly power-play and some BDSM—which I’d loved at the time but had never wanted to do with a partner since. It reminded me too much of the time I’d spent with him—a happier, simpler, more naïve time, and one I’d been determined to forget. I’d needed to be emotionally rock-solid for my family’s sake since breaking up with him so I’d boxed up those desires and never peeked at them again.
Until now.
But to my raging disappointment he just shook his head and said, ‘I’m not going to do anything. I have zero interest in continuing this pathetic exchange, because I have zero interest in you. I don’t waste my time with cold-hearted bitches. Not any more.’
The words stung like a thousand paper cuts and the red mist of anger swelled in me again.
How dared he act as if this meant nothing to him? As if I meant nothing. Because I knew I did. He wouldn’t have acted this way towards me if he really didn’t feel anything.
Without conscious thought, I strode forward and braced both hands against his shoulders, using the surprise of my attack to catch him off-balance so I was able to push him against the nearest wall.
He let out a grunt of surprise as I pressed myself into him, jamming my pelvis up against his, jubilant to discover that his cock was as hard as I’d imagined it would be.
‘It doesn’t feel like you’re not interested in me,’ I goaded.
He let out a huff of a laugh and, before I could register what was going to happen, he wrapped his arms around me and swung us around on the spot so that now it was me with my back against the wall. Not wanting him to get the jump on me, I pressed myself backward, trapping his arms between my body and the wall so he couldn’t get away.
Looking up into his face, I saw both fury and confusion in his eyes, which only made me more determined to win this battle.
‘Now what are you going to do, huh? What’s your next move?’
Knowing his hands were securely trapped behind my back, I slid my fingers inside his open shirt and ran them up his chest, making sure to graze both of his nipples when I reached them, gazing into his face the whole time to check his reaction.
His sharp intake of breath and frustrated glare made my heart leap with satisfaction. I knew his body so well, even after all this time, and that knowledge made me unreasonably happy.
I felt his hands shift behind my back and realised they weren’t as trapped as I’d thought.
But he still didn’t try to release them.
He wanted me to do this.
So do it I would.
Skating my hands lower, I pressed the tips of my nails into the flesh of his torso, feeling him twitch and shudder under my touch. I watched with satisfaction as he closed his eyes, his breath juddering through his throat and catching each time I dug my nails into him a little harder.
And then I was at the top of his trousers, where I hung out for a moment, running my fingertip across the hard muscles where his taut belly met the leather of his belt.
‘Fuck!’ he moaned, his eyelids still squeezed shut. ‘Go on, then.’ He opened his eyes and looked straight into mine. ‘Do it.’
It was half challenge, half plea.
And I didn’t need any more encouragement than that. Laying the flat of my hand onto his chest, I pushed until he was forced to take a step away from me, giving me enough room to reach down and slide the soft leather out of his buckle. His arms fell to his sides as I pulled the belt free then popped open the button on his trousers and tugged down the fly so I was able to slide my hand easily into the waistband of his boxers, my eyes never leaving his.
I wanted him to know I was still in charge of things here. That despite his repeated attempts to bring me down he hadn’t succeeded. I was still directing the play. This was only happening because I was letting it.
His cock was hard, but his skin felt silky smooth as I wrapped my fingers around his shaft, drawing another guttural groan from him. I began to move my
hand up and down, giving a little twist as I reached the tip and getting a short, satisfying pant of appreciation from him each time I did it.
I was aware of heat emanating from his body in waves now, warming my skin and causing goose bumps to rush over me, but I ignored my response, not wanting it to distract me from what I was doing to him. I wanted to revel in this, to enjoy the sense of power I was experiencing from totally being in control of his pleasure.
In control of him.
Heady with triumph, I increased both the pressure and speed of my movement and was rewarded for my efforts when he closed his eyes, dropped his chin and clamped his jaw shut, as if losing himself in what I was doing to him.
His chest heaved as his breathing became more laboured and I took great satisfaction in the knowledge that I knew exactly what he needed right at that moment. I sensed he’d been keeping his feelings about losing his father bottled up and this angry confrontation with me was a release for his pain. A way to hand over responsibility for the way he felt to someone else, if only for a short time.
I was the only person who knew how to give him what he needed.
And how.
Because I knew him.
I’d always known what he needed most.
Remembering how much he used to love me going down on him, I sank to my knees and took his cock in my mouth, delighting in his groan of appreciation as I used my tongue to find the spot he loved having licked. Cupping his balls in one hand, I used my longest finger and thumb of my other hand to form a ring around the base of his shaft, pressing firmly as I slid it up and down in time with my mouth.
I smiled to myself as I felt his body begin to tremble. He was completely under my influence. And I loved it.
‘Look at me,’ I heard him whisper, his voice a guttural rasp.
But I wasn’t going to let him start leading this now. I didn’t want him telling me what to do. Not any more. That wasn’t how this was going to work.
So I kept my gaze on what I was doing and continued to move my mouth on him, sliding his cock deep into my throat then pulling him all the way out again so I could play with my tongue around the head—just as I used to, to drive him crazy. I could tell he was getting close to coming by his short pants of breath and the way his hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides.
And I revelled in the idea of being in control of that.
I was so caught up in the powerful satisfaction of what I was doing to him I didn’t anticipate what he was going to do next—which was to let out a loud groan of frustration, suddenly withdraw from me then stoop down to grab me under the arms and lift me up, pressing me back against the wall and trapping me there with his hands on my shoulders.
He stared into my eyes for a moment, as if trying to centre himself, before flashing me a wicked sort of smile. Then before I could react he reached down and bunched the skirt of my dress in his hand so he could slide it up my body and roughly push his other hand between my legs. I let out an involuntary gasp of surprise as his fingers pressed into the desire-soaked material of my knickers.
‘It seems like you’re pretty interested in getting something out of this too,’ he muttered, leaning towards me so his words whispered over my lips, making them rush with intoxicating sensation. He slid his hand into my knickers and rubbed the backs of his long fingers over my mound, then pressed his thumb firmly down the line of my pussy, making my clitoris throb with the need to be touched more intimately.
‘I don’t need anything from you,’ I tried to protest, my heart thumping like a jackhammer as I tried not to let myself be pulled under by the erotic desire he was triggering in me.
But I could see from the amusement in his eyes and the sceptical raise of an eyebrow that he didn’t believe a word I was saying.
Frustration at losing my authority over this game built inside me, but I was suddenly at a loss to do anything about it as he dipped one long finger inside me, sliding it deep then drawing it out slowly, catching every erogenous spot I had.
I bit my lip hard to stop myself from letting out a moan of pleasure, but I could tell from the smile in his eyes that he knew exactly what he was doing to me.
And he wasn’t about to stop.
This time he used two fingers, curling them towards him to press on a magic area inside me, shooting tendrils of pure pleasure through my body. Then slowly he slid them out of me again, using the slickness of my desire to smooth his way back up to my needy clit.
‘Admit it, you want my cock inside you,’ he insisted, gently flicking his fingertip over the hard little nub of nerves there. ‘More than you’ve ever wanted anything.’
‘Fuck you,’ I moaned, barely able to think straight now.
‘What’s that? You want to fuck me? Yeah, I thought so,’ he ground out, twisting his fingers into my knickers and tugging on them so hard the fragile lace around the band ripped and they slithered down my legs to the floor.
That was the moment I should have walked away. I should have said that I didn’t want this, that I wanted him to leave me alone.
But right at that moment I couldn’t. Even though, intellectually, I knew I should.
Because my body wanted the exact opposite. Desperately. Like it had been starved for years and he was the most delicious meal in the world just ready and waiting to be eaten.
Which I suppose is why, instead of backing off, I closed the small gap between us and kissed him hard.
The moment our lips met it was clear to me he wanted the exact same thing because he opened his mouth and slid his tongue deep inside me, his groan of approval vibrating around the cavern of my mouth.
And it felt so incredible. Hot, dirty and urgent. His tongue firmly stroked against mine, over and over again, as if this was a duel he was trying to win, but I gave back as good as I got, pulling back to bite at his lips then suck the lower one into my mouth.
He gave a moan of what sounded like frustration, then pulled away from me to stare into my eyes, his expression fierce.
‘You want this?’ he demanded, his voice a growl of desire.
‘Just as much as you do,’ I murmured back. There was a hot, raging need inside me, something I’d been subduing for years, but it was out now, free and determined to get what it wanted.
I felt him slide his hands under my buttocks and lift me up. Instinctively I wrapped my legs around his waist, exhaling with satisfaction as his hard cock pressed between the folds of my pussy. He began to rock his hips, rubbing himself against the sensitive nub of my clit, and my whole world narrowed to that one sweet, lascivious sensation.
We were both panting hard now, our breath rushing in and out of our lungs from both the physical exertion and the intense need to fuck.
As much as I wanted to get back on top of this situation, I was aware I was losing the battle. My mind was hazy and overrun with an overwhelming desire to finish what we’d started, so it felt completely right when I felt the head of his cock pressing against the entrance to my vagina, then firmly and insistently pushing inside me.
I sucked in a breath as he slid deeper, my body stretching to take the impressive girth of him. He didn’t pause there but immediately began pounding into me, his powerful hips thrusting against my body as he took himself deeper.
And I loved it. Needed it. Needed more of it.
I began to rock my body in unison with his, taking his hard thrusts and urging him on for more of them.
I was wild. Abandoned. Not the controlled, tactically driven woman I usually was when having sex. I was suddenly a person I only vaguely remembered being all those years ago. A woman who had let herself enjoy fucking for the sake of it. Who had been capable of feeling love and affection.
Then suddenly, shockingly, he stilled. His cock was still buried deep inside me, but he was holding the rest of his body rigid, not moving a single muscle. I nearly screamed in frustration,
wriggling my hips and trying to get him to start moving again.
But he didn’t.
Instead he leant back and cupped my chin in his hand, turning my head so I was forced to look straight into his narrowed eyes.
‘This is why you really came in here tonight, isn’t it?’ he murmured. ‘You can’t keep away from me. Wherever I go these days, there you are, hanging around at the edge of my vision like a mournful ghost,’ he teased, the words loaded with triumph as he began gently to rock back and forth again, the pressure of his pelvis against my clit sending echoes of pleasure through me. ‘I knew it. I knew you still wanted me. You’ve wanted me back for all these years but you’ve been too much of a coward to admit it.’
And that was the moment that reality and sense rushed in.
His jubilation killed dead the eroticism of the moment and in my anger and intense frustration I put my hands against his chest and pushed him hard away from me. I felt his cock slide out of me as he was forced to take a step back and I dropped my feet to the floor.
My whole body gave a throb of regret at the loss of intimate contact with his and an agonisingly familiar grief began to build inside me. But I knew I had to quash it quickly before my emotions got the better of me. Before he saw the pain and sadness I’d been hiding from him for all these years.
‘Don’t kid yourself,’ I said with all the disdain I could muster, pushing down the skirt of my dress. ‘This wasn’t about wanting you. It’s just a hate fuck. Something we’ve been dancing around for years. Which frankly has become very boring. It just felt like a good opportunity to get it over with and get each other out of our systems for good.’
He stared at me with his eyebrows pinched together, seemingly amused by my statement. ‘You’re really going to give up the best orgasm of your life to maintain your overblown pride?’
My laugh was scornful. ‘I wasn’t even close to coming then. You could never make me orgasm.’
He snorted in disbelief. ‘I seem to remember doing just that, quite a few times, in fact, back when you used to behave like a human being instead of a business-driven robot.’
She Devil Page 2