He reaches out a hand and lays it gently over mine.
‘Even after all these years the pain of losing you has never gone away. I thought it would. I hoped it would. But it didn’t. And I hated you for making me feel like that. I’ve never been able to love anyone else, April, because of you.’
He draws in a ragged breath, on the edge of tears.
And my heart breaks.
‘I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for being such a selfish asshole.’ He squeezes my hand hard. ‘I miss you. I’ve missed you for ten fucking years, April. It’s driven me crazy, seeing you and knowing you didn’t feel the same.’
‘But I did feel the same. I do,’ I say, putting my other hand over his.
‘You know I love you, right?’ he says, looking straight into my eyes now. ‘I’ve always loved you. I always will.’
‘I love you too,’ I say in a shaky voice, desperately trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. Now I’ve finally tapped into them, I don’t seem to be able to stop them from surging through me in waves every other damn minute.
‘I’m so fucking happy to hear that,’ he says with a great sigh of relief, putting a hand behind my head and pulling me towards him, kissing me so hard it’s as if our mouths are fused together. I feel him trembling in my arms and I realise just how hard it’s been for him to come here and risk his heart and his pride to tell me this.
A feeling of utter, blissful relief crashes over me and I pull him tighter, digging my fingers into his back, not wanting ever to let him go now we’re finally together again.
When reluctantly we break apart, I whisper, ‘I’ve been trying to make up for my mother’s bad behaviour and selfishness for too many years now. Perhaps to prove to my father, and myself, that I wasn’t like her. But it’s time I look after myself now. Make myself happy. And I think being with you is what I need to make that happen.’
‘I promise I’ll make you happy if you’ll let me. I swear to God I will,’ he says fiercely, pulling me against his chest and tightening his arms around me so that for the first time in a very long time I feel truly safe again.
After a few minutes, when I feel as if I’m finally in control of my emotions again, I draw away from him and look into his gorgeous, compassionate gaze.
‘You know, I found out recently that Maya’s been blaming herself for my mother’s death for all these years because she went up to that slope in the first place. I know I need to tell her that’s not true, but I haven’t been brave enough to tell her the truth in case she hates me for everything I’ve done and everything I’ve kept from her.’
He frowns. ‘April, you know that’s not fair, right? You have to tell her.’
‘I know, but this all came out just before my father’s accident, so I was distracted by that, and she’s been so happy recently since she got together with Benedict. I wanted her to have some time to enjoy that without the past impinging on it. I know she’s going to be furious with me for not telling her the whole story and I can’t stand the thought of being estranged from her. She might annoy the hell out of me but I still love her. If I’d known before now that she blamed herself for our mother’s death, I’d have put her straight a long time ago. The same with Juno. She’s in a good place right now and I don’t know how she’s going to respond to the fact that she might not be our father’s daughter.’
‘You need to tell her. Let her decide. She deserves to know the truth. She’ll thank you eventually, take it from me.’
‘I know that, logically. I know I’ve been a coward, avoiding all this, but I’ve genuinely only kept these secrets to protect the people I love. My mother left one hell of a mess when she died which I’ve been trying to manage ever since. Not that I’ve made a great job of it.’
‘You have to stop trying to control everything. It’s destructive,’ he says with a compassionate smile, running his hands over my hair and cupping my face.
‘I’m so afraid the truth might destroy our family completely, though.’ I take a shaky breath. ‘But you’re right. I need to be brave and face it. I’ll tell Maya and Juno everything. They’re not kids any more and they deserve the truth. No matter how much it might hurt them. Perhaps then we can all move on.’
‘I’ll do it with you,’ he says with utter conviction in his voice.
‘Really? You’d do that for me?’
He smiles and raises his eyebrows, then strokes his fingers against my cheek. ‘I’d do anything for you.’
And suddenly the hurricane in my mind goes quiet because I can tell from the naked sincerity in his face that he really means that.
I’m not alone any more. We’re going to face this together.
EPILOGUE
April
Six months later
I BARELY RECOGNISE the life I was leading before I set foot on Jamie’s island now.
So much has changed.
After we’d had some time fully to enjoy our recoupling, then work out the boundaries of our new relationship, Jamie formally agreed to sell his father’s software company to me so it could be integrated into DH Worldwide’s portfolio. I gave him a good price for it too, in the interests of professional fairness, and he’s going to use the proceeds to develop his scholarship programmes, offering more opportunities to young athletes from underprivileged backgrounds. So the future looks bright for both our businesses.
And I finally did what I should have done years ago and stood up to my father, telling him if he wanted me to continue to run the family business then he had to give me complete control—no provisos or tests—and not only over my professional decisions, but over my personal life too.
He’d agreed more readily than I’d expected, but then I think the woman he seems covertly to have fallen in love with—the woman who started out as his nurse and has apparently become his lover—has been a wonderful, calming influence on him.
He actually seems to be happy for the first time in years.
They’re both here today, holding hands and smiling—something I’ve very rarely seen my father do—and I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to see it. They look so comfortable together, so right, it’s hard to believe they’ve only been in love for a short time.
He deserves to have this after what he went through with my mother.
It wasn’t easy, telling my sisters the truth about her. Seeing the shock and pain pass across their faces when they realised she wasn’t the saint they’d thought she’d been was hard. Maya reacted the most strongly, understandably. I hadn’t realised quite how much her guilt about the incident had affected her life until I saw her un-Maya-like reaction.
Luckily her partner, Benedict, was there to talk her down from an attack of panicky hyperventilation and hold her afterwards, soothing away her tremulous tears.
Most surprisingly, once we’d sat down together and I’d fully explained my actions and decisions, she wasn’t angry with me. In fact, she was the reverse. She said she was grateful to me for everything I’d done to keep our family together. It’s going to take a while for her to get past all the angst she’s been carrying around for all these years, but she’s working on it.
Feeling emotionally close to her for the first time in years made me realise how much I’ve missed my sister’s love and affection. But I think the two of us are going to be okay now.
She’s here today with me, looking stunning in the sky-blue bridesmaid dress I picked out for her, so that’s a good start.
As for Juno, she took the whole revelation about the question over her paternity in her stride, in the calm, intelligent way with which she seems to deal with everything. She went straight ahead and had a DNA test done, which to my surprise—and I think everyone else’s too—showed that my father really was her biological father after all. I suspect rogue genes, way back down the family line, must be responsible for her striking red hair and creamy pale skin.
She and my father have seemed a lot closer since the revelations—at least he acknowledges her now when she walks into a room—and I’ve seen them talking a lot more than usual, though I think it’s going to take quite a bit more time for them really to become comfortable around each other. They’re perhaps a bit too dissimilar in personality for that to happen easily.
But she’s happy, at least. And she seems very settled with her partner, Sandro, whom I can tell, from the way he treats her, is deeply in love with her. They’re standing together now, hands locked tightly, talking quietly as we wait for the photographer to take the family pictures.
As for me, I’m happy, properly happy, for the first time in ten years.
Standing at the altar today, with Jamie looking at me as if I was the most incredible thing ever to happen to him, I couldn’t quite believe my life had turned in this exciting and satisfying direction.
But I’m so glad it has.
It took Jamie a while to get past the fury and disillusionment he felt towards his father. But, despite still being angry with Cliff for his cowardice in not having told him what he’d done while he was alive, he’s come to believe that he sent that letter so that he and I would have another chance to connect—and fall in love again.
Deep down, neither of us believes Cliff was a bad person; he was just besotted with my mother and made some very bad decisions. Keeping silent about them had been his way of protecting Jamie, because Cliff had loved him more than anything in the world. I truly believe that. He genuinely wanted the best for him. For him to be happy and secure.
Accepting this as truth has helped Jamie come to terms with his father’s actions and enabled him to begin to forgive him, I think.
As it has for me, too.
I’m no longer weighed down by the resentment I’ve been carrying around with me for all these years.
I’ve chosen to move on from the mistakes of the past and look to the future.
Because I have my Jamie back.
I’ve told him every day since we’ve been a couple again how much I love him. How grateful I am for the second chance we got to be together.
Because now I truly have everything I’ve ever wanted.
* * *
If you liked She Devil, why not try
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Wicked Pleasure
by Taryn Leigh Taylor
CHAPTER ONE
IT HAD BEEN a long time since she’d crashed a party.
AJ weathered yet another snooty look from yet another glittering society princess, dripping diamonds and sipping Dom. She waited until Socialite Barbie passed before she looked down at herself.
She’d miscalculated a little there, AJ conceded, tugging discreetly at the hem of her dress—short, tight and black. Club wear might get her the right kind of attention when she went dancing—which was to say she never sat out a song or paid for a drink—but tonight, she stuck out like a poor relation. She’d been so busy hacking her way into this shindig that she hadn’t paid too much attention to the dress code.
She should have bought something new. Something fancier.
This was a Liam Kearney event, after all. The tech magnate was known for his lavish lifestyle, his womanizing ways and his profligate parties.
Also, his tech was fucking epic.
AJ let her gaze wander over her lush surroundings. Lucrative, too, judging by his fancy digs.
She’d never been to a real Beverly Hills mansion before. The place had the works: tennis court, fountains, greenhouses, indoor/outdoor pool (currently full of bikini-clad models, natch), and most importantly, fancy French doors that led to Liam Kearney’s office.
AJ reached into her shiny little purse thing, pulled out a tube of lipstick and did a quick reapplication in the ugly but ornate mirror hanging on the wall beside her. Probably cost more than her rent, she thought with derision, careful to angle the opening of her purse away from the closest of the six hidden cameras she’d located in her visual sweep. She placed the lipstick back inside, surreptitiously starting the stopwatch on her phone as she withdrew her hand.
He might have gaudy taste in mirrors, but his surveillance was expertly placed. Not that she’d expect anything less from the man who’d practically redefined cybersecurity. The whole place was wired up tight, and it was impressive as hell. Good enough to keep most professionals out.
AJ tucked the satin bag back under her arm.
Of course, she wasn’t most professionals.
She took a couple of steps before she paused and pretended to fix her shoe, grabbing the doorknob for support. It turned easily in her hand, without setting off
any audible bells or whistles. With a quick glance to make sure no one was paying attention, AJ slipped into the room, closing the door behind her.
Four, no five, discreet cameras took immediate notice of her. With that kind of setup, a silent alarm was probably overkill, she figured, sizing up the place, but she wouldn’t rule out the possibility yet.
The office itself was modern and stylish with six big, evenly spaced windows that you could see through from the street (provided you were packing a pair of decent binoculars and had the skills to avoid the omnipresent private security patrol), and a computer setup with enough monitors to impress any fourth-rate TV show set decorator, but shit for doing any real work.
AJ stopped at a bookshelf crowded with tech awards and press clippings, careful to make sure whoever was monitoring the feed mistook her for an idly curious partygoer and not the security threat she was.
Despite herself, she was a little impressed by the shiny hardware. From national commendations for tech innovation to entrepreneur of the year, the man had won every accolade there was.
She picked up a heavy silver frame and stared at the photo of young Liam as a newly minted CEO. He looked...scrappy. Determined. Not so much happy as hungry, and she respected that.
He’d been eighteen years old when he’d launched Cybercore.
It was beyond impressive. Also the recipe for a million photo ops.
She set the frame back on the shelf.
No thanks.
AJ preferred to make her mark on the tech industry in less...public ways.
As though she had all the time in the world, she meandered toward the desk.
From the imposing black leather chair to the Cybercore logo spinning on each of the high-res monitors, everything about the room screamed Inner Sanctum of a Tech Mogul.
AJ didn’t buy it for a second.
She was good, yeah. Hell, she was the best, but the fact that she’d just waltzed into this “office” without tripping anything direr than a couple of security cams told her this room was just a showpiece—a quick stop for nosy houseguests who wanted to see where the magic happened.
She Devil Page 14