by Abby Brooks
He put a finger to her chin and lifted her face until she made eye contact with him. “It’s been decided.” She shook her head and tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her. “I have more than I need. More than I deserve. I choose to give some to you. Please don’t fight me on this.”
And for whatever reason, she didn’t. Maybe she was out of fight. Maybe she had opened her walls and let him in and didn’t want to close him out again. Maybe it was the look in his eyes or the feel of his skin on hers as he ran his thumb against her lips. Maybe it was a combination of all those things.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
She became overly aware of her heart clamoring in her chest, her breath tearing through her parted lips. The rustle of the ocean lapping against the beach. The scent of James’ skin, so close to hers. His lips, parting. His breath rustling in her hair.
His thumb traced her lips again and her tongue darted out to taste him. His sharp intake of breath sent a jolt of electricity through her veins, ignited her body in a surge of heat. She pulled his thumb into her mouth, sucked on it, and looked up at him through her eyelashes. His chest heaved and his eyes grew hungry and heavy with passion.
He shifted, pulling his thumb from her mouth and pressing his lips to hers. He kissed her softly, gently, as if he was afraid to move quickly, afraid to scare her away. His hands smoothed over her hair, traced her jaw and came to rest on her cheeks. She opened to him, parting her lips and wrapping a leg around him, threading her fingers in his hair and returning his kiss with a passion she wasn’t prepared for.
She needed him.
Needed his skin pressed to hers.
Needed him to fill her.
To protect her.
She’d shown herself to him, been weak for him, and now she needed him to prove he still wanted her. To prove she was safe in her vulnerability.
She ran her hands under his shirt. “I love how strong you are,” she whispered against his lips as her fingers explored the ridges of his abs, the swell of his pecs.
He nuzzled her neck, kissing down her collarbone and pausing to pull her shirt over her head. “And I love how soft you are,” he said, kissing along the edges of her bra. Ellie arched her back, eager to feel his lips on her, needing him to take her, to make her feel okay.
She pulled on his shirt, lifting it over his head before she pressed her body against his. Skin to skin. Warmth to warmth. Hard to soft. His deft fingers unhooked her bra and flung it to the floor. Undid the button on her pants and slid them off. She lay on her back, her hair a halo of darkness spread across the white cotton pillowcase.
“Sweet Ellie,” he murmured, looking down at her with too much compassion, too much care, too much emotion in his eyes. He slid off his jeans, his erection springing free and straining toward her. Naked James was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. The dark lines of his tattoos swirling into the hard lines of his body.
He kissed an ankle, and a calf, his mouth leading him up her thighs, his hands trailing gentle paths up to her belly. He traced his tongue across her slit and she moaned, her core throbbing with need.
“Please, James. I need you. I need you inside me.” As she said it, she realized she didn’t just mean physically.
She needed him in her heart, past her defenses.
She needed him to know all of her.
“I need to be inside you, too, sweet Ellie.”
There was no time to wonder if he understood what she really meant, if he knew that she needed him on more than one level. James positioned himself between her legs and in one slow thrust, sheathed himself deep inside her. She cried out and he groaned, a primal acknowledgement of their connection. He rocked his hips and kissed her, savoring her as if she were a fine wine. Rich, fragrant, and designed for enjoyment.
“I need you,” she said, turning her head to the side as his movement gained speed and force, building her orgasm.
“I know.” He kissed her jawline. Suckled at her breast. “And I need you, too.”
His admission pushed her over the edge, her muscles clenching around him as she cried out, fists buried in the sheets at her side.
James sat up, grabbed her hips and put her legs over his shoulders, increasing the friction, hitting a spot so deep inside she didn’t know what to do with herself. He was taking her to a place she’d never been before, driving deeper and deeper, claiming more and more of her as his. Her first orgasm rolled into a second and she came harder than she ever had, her voice keening and sobbing as she gave herself over.
With one final thrust, James came, shuddering and collapsing on top of her. His body pressed down on hers, sheltering her from the world, hiding even the moonlight. For one glorious moment she felt safe, and then James went rigid. Sat up, eyes wide.
“Oh, fuck.”
She pushed up on her elbows, fully aware that he was still inside her, but so disconcerted by his reaction. “What?”
“Oh, Ellie …” James swallowed hard. “Please tell me you’re on the pill.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ellie
“Yes,” Ellie lied while everything inside her screamed the truth.
Oh my God! We just had unprotected sex!
“I’m on the pill.” She had no idea why she lied to James.
None whatsoever.
But once the lie was out, she couldn’t bring herself to take it back. Couldn’t stand the thought of seeing his face crumble with fear over what they’d just done.
He collapsed back on top of her, relief evident in the long breath he released. The sagging weight of his body as he let go of all the tension his fear stoked inside him. “I’m clean, by the way,” he said. She almost didn’t hear him over the clamor of thoughts in her head. “Thought it’d be a good idea to get tested after I started, um, you know…”
James sat up and sought eye contact and Ellie nodded, not trusting her words because her mind was flipping out.
What had she done?
They’d just shared an amazingly intimate moment, one unlike anything she’d experienced in all her life, and she finished it off by lying to him?
Her stomach spun and bile rose in her throat.
What kind of person was she?
There he was, being amazing to her, taking care of her, offering her money and help at work and a place to stay when she needed it. Wrapping her up in his arms and making sure she felt safe.
And she repaid all that goodness with dishonesty?
James caressed her cheek, leaned in for a kiss, and smoothed her hair back from her face. “I got you,” he said. “I know you’ve been doing this whole life thing by yourself for a long time. But you’ve got me now and you’ll see how much better things can be when you’re part of a team.”
Ellie smiled and the tears she spent the evening fighting finally overwhelmed her.
Just tell him! Tell him you’re not on birth control, screamed one part of her.
Don’t tell him. There’s no need for him to worry for the next couple weeks. The deed is done, rationalized the other part.
You’ll lose him if you don’t tell…
You’ll lose him if you do tell…
And then, the worst thought of all. It doesn’t matter because he’s not yours anyway.
James pulled her into his lap, the sheets bunching beneath her legs, and held her close. He rocked her and whispered to her, letting her cry and promising he was going to make things okay.
Ellie sobbed.
She sobbed for the woman who, after decades of locking people out had finally let someone in.
She sobbed because she lied.
She sobbed because she wanted to be honest with James just as much as she never wanted to admit that when it mattered most, she hadn’t been.
After a while, longer than she liked, she finally got herself under control. “Thank you,” she said, wiping her eyes.
“You don’t have to keep thanking me.” James slipped out from underneath her and grabbed
a clean set of underwear and a pair of sweatpants from a drawer.
“I’m sorry.”
He headed into the bathroom, flicking on the light and winking at her from the doorway. “Don’t be sorry, either.”
While he brushed his teeth, Ellie disappeared into the guest room to retrieve a set of pajamas and her toothbrush. She banished all thoughts of birth control, all thoughts about the terrible lie she told. Put them in a little box in the corner of her heart until morning when she could look at them intelligently. Besides, the chances of her being pregnant were next to zero.
Right?
And she could just stop in and get some samples of the pill at her gynecologist and everything was going to be okay.
Right?
Right?
Ellie’s outlook was significantly more positive after a night in James’ bed, his arm draped protectively around her, his breath rustling in her ear. He groaned when the alarm on her phone went off.
“How do you do this every morning?”
“I just do it. No time to think. The work needs done.”
They danced around each other as they got ready. His hand grazing her lower back. Her fingers tracing a tattoo. Their eyes meeting over coffee. Smiles sweet and secretive as they made his bed together, straightening the sheets and pillows and pulling the comforter up in place.
After a quick breakfast of eggs from James’ fridge and toast from the almost too-old loaf of bread Ellie brought, they climbed into his truck and headed into downtown Bliss toward the café. When he reached for her hand, she threaded her fingers through his and—just for a second—pretended it was all real. That there wasn’t a looming expiration date. That she was his and he was hers and Good Beginnings was theirs.
He parked on the street directly in front of the café, his headlights cutting a clear path through the darkness and illuminating the dining room. Except that was unusual. The lights should have reflected off the glass in the windows. Ellie squinted. Something was wrong.
“What the…?” James cut the engine and killed the lights and Ellie’s body surged with adrenaline.
The front window was gone.
Shattered.
And from what she could see, the dining room had been destroyed. She threw open the door to the truck and hopped down, ready to race inside.
“Ellie!” James climbed out after her, leaving the door open and the keys in the ignition. “Wait. Let me go in first.”
She was shaking, barely capable of comprehending what he’d said, but she stopped long enough to let him take the keys from her. Something was spray painted across the door, the headlights from the truck casting their shadows over the words. But Ellie could still make it out.
Whore.
The word scrawled in violent red paint over the Good Beginnings logo. She choked on a sob, anger and fear and something darker twisting in her already upset stomach. James unlocked the door and stepped in, flicking on a light. Glass crunched under his feet.
Ellie followed him inside and doubled over like she’d been punched in the gut when she saw that everything was broken. The tables and chairs lay shattered, bits and pieces scattered across the floor amongst shards of glass from the display case. The plates and mugs she’d agonized over ordering were broken and strewn everywhere. The pastries and baked goods were smashed.
The walls screamed at her in red paint.
Words like whore and golddigger, slut and cunt skewed madly across every possible surface. Ellie straightened only to bend back down, resting her hands on her knees as she retched into a trash can. James put his hand on her back.
“Stay here. I’m going to make sure whoever did this is gone.” He didn’t wait for her to respond. He just disappeared behind the counter into the dark kitchen.
The moment she was alone, Ellie felt exposed. She followed him and found the kitchen just as ruined as the dining room. The office a disaster of shredded papers and overturned file cabinets.
“You okay?”
Ellie turned to James, bringing her hands to her face and shaking her head. “What do I do?” she asked, her eyes seeking the safety of his. “Why?”
“First, you call the police. Then, we’ll call your insurance company. The what’s are easy. The why? That’s not so easy. Who would do this?”
She shook her head, her hands covering her mouth again. Steve? But why? He hadn’t been happy when she kicked him out, but he hadn’t seemed unhinged or anything. She said as much to James who sighed and pulled her in close and hugged her until she stopped shaking.
What now? she quietly wondered.
The rest of the morning unfolded in a blur of phone calls and questions—and bad news, plenty of bad news. The police arrived and ushered them outside, asking questions Ellie didn’t have answers to. As they draped crime scene tape around the broken window and the entrance, claiming the space she’d created for herself as theirs, she pulled out her phone and called the insurance company, only to be informed she’d let the policy lapse.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Ellie started pacing while the woman on the phone checked and double-checked her information. James was at her side in an instant.
“Ma’am, I’m sorry. But it says here your policy was terminated last month due to non-payment.”
“You’re sure?” Ellie wracked her brain, trying desperately to remember when she made the last payment. She would have written it down in her ledger in the office, to be transposed into the computer when she had the time. But she never had the time and the ledger always sufficed except currently, it was lying shredded to pieces in a crime scene.
Ellie hung up the phone and continued to pace, certain she’d collapse if she stopped moving. James called her name, gently at first, but with more insistence when she kept ignoring him, hands clenched into tight fists and shaking.
Finally, he grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to stop. “Ellie. Look at me. What happened?”
“There’s no insurance.” Her belly hollowed out and her lungs felt like she’d fallen into the deep end of the pool. No air. Immense pressure. “The policy lapsed.”
She didn’t say she thought she paid it and he didn’t ask her what happened. Didn’t make her feel like a failure for missing a payment. Didn’t blame her for dropping the ball. He just pulled her in tight and wrapped his powerful arms around her.
“I got you,” he whispered, smoothing her hair. “I’ve got you, sweet Ellie.”
From that point forward, James was amazing. He parked her at the truck and dealt with the police. Answered all their questions then sat quietly beside her while they asked her the same questions they’d asked earlier.
A crowd gathered, whispering and pointing. Most were polite and left Ellie alone or offered some form of consolation if they caught her attention. James shielded her from that, too. Answering any questions and standing between Ellie and the onlookers.
He made several phone calls, his voice rat-a-tat-tatting directions at the people on the other end. After several hours sitting and watching and feeling useless, he caught her attention.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go.”
“I can’t go. What if they need me?” She gestured toward the police meandering around the café, looking more dumbfounded than competent. Breaking and entering with a heavy dose of vandalism just didn’t happen in Bliss.
“They have your number. If they need you, they’ll call.”
It took some convincing, but James finally got Ellie to leave after persuading one of the officers to tell her it was okay. She didn’t ask him where he was taking her. She just sat numbly in his truck, watching the ocean rolling up to the shore like it did every other day. It was unnerving, seeing something so mundane and normal on the day her life had been totally upended.
She had nothing.
An apartment without power.
A relationship without a future.
No family to turn to.
As if that wasn’t enough, the one thing she ded
icated her life to had been reduced to a pile of crumbled glass and shredded papers, with violent red paint spewing hateful words dripping down the walls.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
James
In times of crisis, there was only one thing to do. Turn to family. While Ellie sat dumbfounded and broken outside her ruined café, James had rallied the troops, calling his parents, brothers, and sister to circle the wagons. Alone, they were weak, but together, they were unbreakable.
His dad had always likened family to a shield wall. They would pull together and create an impenetrable defense, moving forward in the face of adversity and using their strength to protect the person standing beside them. The whole family was waiting for them at his parents’ house; his mom surely busy in the kitchen, making something warm and easy on the stomach.
Ellie barely said a word as he drove, her face slack and her eyes glazed over as she gazed out the window. He resisted the urge to ask if she was okay because he knew the answer. She would tell him yes and mean no.
She didn’t know what it meant to have a Moore in her corner, yet.
He wondered if she had any idea what it was like to have anyone in her corner.
Ever.
His heart broke for the girl who’d learned to fend for herself. For the girl who’d built so many walls around herself. For the girl sitting next to him, thinking she’d lost it all.
He was determined to show her that she hadn’t lost a thing.
“Where are we?” she asked as he pulled to a stop in front of his parents’ house.
“Welcome to the quaint, though somewhat imposing home of Frank and Diane Moore.” James smiled and reached across the truck to squeeze her knee. “When disaster strikes, Moores come together.”
Ellie stared at the large, cottage-style mansion with its wraparound porch and sweeping views of the beach. “I don’t belong here,” she murmured.