by J. M. Dabney
He scratched at Livingston’s back, tried to tighten his legs to get Livingston with the program. Although, he knew Livingston was in charge—his show.
He gasped at the first nudge of Livingston’s cock against his hole, and he arched upward as Livingston filled him. Livingston only paused long enough for him to get used to the pressure. Then he started to move. It was gentle and tender, whispered words of praise and loving touches. They came together in a slow dance, a perfect rhythm, until it wasn’t enough.
Livingston pace picked up, but it still wasn’t rough. It was a goodbye, and it was bittersweet. Livingston’s arms slipped under him, and the big man rested his forehead on his. Livingston hairy stomach stroked his cock with each thrust until he couldn’t take anymore. Heat spread between them and Livingston pumped into him faster until Livingston filled him.
“Fuck, I love you so much.”
He gasped as he felt hot tears falling on his face as Livingston kissed him repeatedly. He hugged the man’s big body to him as the man cried. He knew it was the last thing Livingston was going to say to him.
“It’s okay. We’re just fine.”
“Say it, just one more time.”
“I love you, please, keep me.”
“I can’t. I just want what’s best for you, and I’m not it.”
He didn’t want to argue on their last night together. Livingston always asked him to trust him to know what was best. He’d do that no matter how much it hurt. Livingston started moving inside him again. He wrapped his hands around the sides of Livingston’s head and lifted until the man looked at him.
He focused on the scars. All he had to give Livingston was his love, and he’d make sure the man knew it how much he did before he left.
Twenty-Five
Letting Him Go
Fielding’s parents and agent were scheduled to land any minute. The sun hadn’t even started to rise yet, and he stood in the darkness with Fielding against his side. They hadn’t spoken since they awakened a few hours ago. He’d taken his boy into the shower and washed him, dressed him between kisses and touches. The morning was for remembering when he was lonely and wanted Fielding beside him.
He understood he was being a bastard, but his fear outweighed his sense. Keeping Fielding would be cruel and not just to Fielding. All his dreams were tucked against his side. All that silly shit he’d made fun of his friends finding over the years turned out to be just what he wanted.
One day Fielding would find someone better who fit into his life. Fielding was it for him. No more drunken hookups. No more out of state trips for just the hope of touch. Last night he’d told Fielding he loved him. He’d wanted to be able to say it once and have it be true. Fielding loved him in return.
He resisted the urge to place a kiss on Fielding’s soft hair before he stepped away as the runway lights turned on. He went to retrieve Fielding’s bags from the back seat.
Then he returned to Fielding. “Juvie and Princess made a run for me. I put a present in your bag.”
“Only a few pieces a day?”
“You’re free to do whatever you want.”
“Da—”
He couldn’t take it. He didn’t want to see tears or hear Fielding say those words again.
“Fielding, you said you’d be good.”
“And you just told me I’m free to do whatever I want.”
Fielding grabbed the front of his jacket and fisted the fabric in his small hands. “I want to stay. I want to wake up with you tomorrow and the day after.”
“And you know we can’t do that.”
“I’m not like everyone else, Livingston. The scars don’t matter to me. I love them because—”
Fielding stopped talking as the roar of the plane’s engines drowned him out.
“Your parents are going to want to see you.”
He swallowed hard around the lump in his throat as Fielding nodded, then turned away from him. He kept distance between him and his boy, forced the mask into place that he’d worn for most of his life. The way he’d wanted Fielding made him forget that this was a job and nothing more. He wouldn’t regret that he’d loved Fielding for a short time. It was the happiest he’d ever felt, and he’d always have those memories.
“Fielding.” Grant stepped out of the plane and waved.
“You doing okay, man?” Linus leaned to the side to whisper to him.
“I’m fine. I’m taking a week’s vacation as soon as he gets on that plane.”
“Take as long as you need.”
Linus knew he’d take the week to get drunk and he’d want to be alone.
“Mr. Trenton, we want to extend our deepest gratitude for what you and your team did.”
“Just doing our job.”
“Fielding.” Mrs. Haskell’s voice made his skin crawl. “You’ve gained weight. Your cheeks are fat. I told you we didn’t have time to get you to lose the weight.”
“You’re going to ruin your big break, more purge, less binge, Fielding.”
He growled at Mr. Haskell and turned to Linus.
“Fuck this shit, boss, may I?”
“Please do.” Linus held out his hands for the bags. “I’ll put your boy’s bags back in the vehicle.”
“Boy, come over here,” he ordered and watched his boy smile.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Fielding practically ran back to him and launched himself into his arms. His boy wrapped his arms and legs around him.
“I knew you wanted to keep me.”
He sunk his fingers into Fielding’s hair and jerked his head back.
“May I tell them I’m moving in with you and going to college?”
“Yes, you may.”
“Yes,” Fielding yelled, and he let the boy slid back to his feet. Fielding danced in a circle before he faced his parents.
His boy was way too excited for something Livingston still didn’t know if it was going to work out or not.
“Mother, Father, I’m in love, and I’m staying here with Livingston.”
“The hell you are, you’re getting on that plane, and leave this silliness behind. You’re not gay, and you’re not staying here. Even if you were gay, he’s completely unacceptable.”
“Why, he gorgeous, sweet, bossy, cranky—”
He cut Fielding off by grabbing his hips. “I think that’s enough of listing my nicer qualities.”
“You’re getting on that plane, right now. I’ll have you committed, tell everyone the stalker sent you into a nervous breakdown.”
“Mrs. Haskell, I suggest you change your tactics.” Camden stepped out of the shadows with his arms wrapped around Sin and Saint, Elisabeth strapped to Camden’s chest.
“Who the hell are you?”
“I’m Sheriff Camden Pelter; these are my husbands, Eric and Ellison, and our daughter, Elisabeth. Fielding has expressed his wishes to remain with Mr. Livingston. That means you and your party get back on the plane and off my land.”
“Shameful, exposing innocent children—”
“Bitch, I don’t give a fuck if you’re Fielding’s mother or not, but you insult my husband again—”
“Eric.” Camden’s voice held the warning only a Daddy dealing with his boy could pull off.
“Sorry, Daddy, punishment later?”
He covered his mouth to hide his laugh as Sin asked about punishment a little louder than necessary.
“He signed a contract for this movie…he has to come back.”
“Then I’ll come along and act as security, then bring him home after filming.”
“Well, um, I actually don’t have a movie to do.”
“What are you talking about?” Grant demanded and started to a step forward.
Livingston reached for his weapon, and the man smartened up.
“I called a few days ago, and said that I wouldn’t be able to do the movie.”
He turned Fielding to face him and raised his hand to place his fingertips under his boy
’s chin until his boy looked at him. “Fielding, when did you do that?”
“The day Nigel grabbed me, and you were in the meeting. Peaches helped me with all the legal stuff. Peaches was also helping me with getting control of my finances. Even if you weren’t going to keep me, I knew I didn’t want to live the same way. I thought maybe when I got a bit braver, and I could take care of myself, I’d come back.”
“Baby, you don’t have to change for me.”
“Then why didn’t you want to keep me?”
He glanced around, and thankfully Linus and Camden started working crowd control, they ushered bitching parents and a manager back toward the plane.
It was time to be honest. If this was his only chance at his dream, he needed to take it.
“Fear, I didn’t want to wake up one day or come home after work one night, and you be sick of me.”
Fielding snorted. “You’re an idiot.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ll take a spanking or whatever for this one. Yes, I’m fifteen years younger than you. I was a virgin before you corrupted me, but that didn’t and doesn’t make me stupid or immature. My parents wanted a free ride on someone else’s dime. I’m pretty so modeling or acting was all I was going to be good for.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but his bratty boy arched a brow.
“I did it because I didn’t have any other choice…wasn’t given one. I told you what I wanted back when you took me for my first ride. That hasn’t changed. Your cabin is the first place I’ve ever felt was home. So, don’t make me go back.”
“I was just trying to do what I thought was best.”
“And I understand that, and I’ll trust you to know what’s best in every other situation, except this one.”
“If I hadn’t stopped you, would you have gone?”
“Yes, but not for long. You know, I’ve become a pretty big Daddy’s boy.”
Livingston smiled and tipped his head back to stare up at the lightening of the morning sky. He lowered his head back down to study Fielding’s delicate features.
“Come on, let’s go home. First I’ll punish for being bratty, and after that, I may reward you if you’re a good boy and take your punishment.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Brat.” He grabbed Fielding’s hand and led him back to the vehicle. He opened the door, helped his boy inside and buckled him in so he was safe.
“Livingston,” Linus yelled his name. “You still taking that weeks’ vacation?”
“Don’t even think of calling me.”
He got into the driver’s seat listening to his best friend laugh his fucking head off.
“What’s so funny?” Fielding asked.
“My friends are idiots.”
“I kinda like your friends. We going camping again?”
The question was asked too sweetly, and he snarled at a smirking Fielding.
“No, not anytime soon.”
“They’re sweet. They may need some company. All lonely in the woods by themselves.”
“That right there means you’re never going camping again.”
He started the SUV and backed up until he could turn around and head for home. He hoped Fielding knew what he wanted because once he got him home, it was too late for his boy to change his mind.
Twenty-Six
Of Course He Was Going to Say Yes
He shivered as he threw more logs on the fire and was thankful Livingston wasn’t home from work yet. His Daddy loved to make fun of him for being cold all the damn time. He’d been there four months and still wasn’t used to the cold. A knock rattled the door, and he ran to look out the window. Little was standing on the porch.
Oh shit, what the hell was he doing here? He slowly walked to the door debating whether to answer it or not.
Livingston didn’t like anyone other than them in the house, but then a thought hit him. He threw open the door. “Is Livingston okay?”
“Oh fuck, yeah, damn, I didn’t think, sorry, I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
“Sure, let me get my coat.”
“Daddy not here so you can ask his permission?”
“I’m being respectful of his wishes, and he’s on a takedown so I can’t call him.” He lifted Livingston’s leather jacket from the hook beside the door and stepped outside as he was slipping it on.
“Sorry, I sounded like an ass.”
“It’s okay. What did you want to talk about?”
Little hung his head and stared at the toes of his scuffed boots. “I wanted to apologize for putting you in danger.”
“Little, you didn’t know, and we learned he was good at disguises.”
“They told me my mom dropped me off at social services when I was five. Told them I was crazy and she couldn’t take it anymore. Don’t know who my dad was or even if he knew he had a kid. I read all my reports once. Basically, they said I was excessively clingy. Had some attachment disorder and separation anxiety. Said I became unnaturally attached when I was shown affection.”
“Little, you don’t have to explain.”
The misery on the man’s face broke his heart. Little was odd that couldn’t be denied, but everyone he’d met since coming to Powers was a bit on the weird side. It was their charm. He didn’t want the man to feel bad about the way he was—Little’s life made him have his issues.
“I do, Livingston said I put you in danger because I couldn’t see past a pretty face showing me affection. He was right. I fucked Rauch because it’s the only way people let me touch them. I know I’m scary looking and I’m not all there, but I ain’t all bad.”
“Little, you don’t have to apologize because you wanted some human contact. I believe you didn’t know who Rauch was.”
“Livingston’s still mad at me. I thought if I apologized and explained that maybe one of my best friends wouldn’t be mad at me anymore. The people I’ve met here are the only family I got. I can’t lose them.”
“And you won’t, I’ll talk to Livingston when he gets home.”
“Liv is lucky to have you. It must be nice.”
“What must be nice?”
“To be touched.”
The man’s deep voice broke over the last word, and he almost reached out to stroke Little’s huge bicep, but the man stepped back.
“Little, do you—”
“No, I overstayed, I’m on cheating spouse duty tonight.”
Little practically ran from the porch and to the black van. They joked that Little lived in it. Little didn’t look back at him, and he quickly backed out, headed down the dirt road.
His phone beeped in his pocket, and he pulled it out. Livingston sent him a message telling him he was on his way home. He removed his jacket and hung it back up as he went to find something to make for dinner. They needed to do a supply run soon. They couldn’t live on love and sex alone. He was going to lose his belly that Livingston loved so much.
An hour later, he was just taking the chicken and rice casserole he’d thrown together with stuff he’d found in the freezer out of the oven. He placed it on the stovetop. The door opened, and he glanced up to find Livingston still in his tactical gear. He ran across the room, and Livingston caught him with a grunt.
“You grunted, am I getting too—”
“You even say that word, or I’ll put you over my knee before this nights over with.”
“Don’t you do that anyway?”
“You’re getting awfully bratty, baby.”
He pouted, and Livingston smiled.
“I was headed home to take you out to dinner and then grocery shopping afterward.”
“I found enough stuff to make a casserole. Plan for it tomorrow?”
“Sure, what did you do today?”
“Well, I applied for the fall semester of college, I’ll need to get a vehicle to commute.”
He draped his arms over Livingston’s strong shoulders and batted his lashes at him.
“You have to learn to drive f
irst.”
“That’s where my gorgeous Daddy comes into play.”
“We’ll go get your learner’s and then look at a nice safe car for you next week. I may also need to take up drinking.”
“It won’t be that bad. Little stopped by.”
“And why was Little here.”
Livingston walked toward the kitchen and sat him on the counter, then Livingston gave him a quick kiss and pulled away.
“Don’t get pissed, he wanted to apologize, and he said you’re still mad at him. He doesn’t want to lose the only family he has.”
“I’m not mad, I get Little and his quirks. The man just frustrates the fuck out of me. We need to find him a person to latch on to.”
“I don’t think he needs a person to latch on to as you so sweetly put it. He just needs someone who’s going to love him.”
“Little makes it hard to love him and the person who does is going to have to be a full-time keeper. He’s spent way too much time with Lily. I think she’s made him worse.”
“He’s fine. I just wanted you to know and quit making him feel bad. He just wanted to feel needed even if it was just sex.”
“Fine, I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Now, since you ruined my plans to take you out all romantic like, you’ll have to settle for this.”
“What are you talking about? Aren’t you going to change and get comfortable before we have dinner?”
“I know how hard it is for you to say no when I’m in my work gear, so I wanted to ask you something.” Livingston pushed his thighs wide and stepped his big body between them.
“And what did you want to ask me, Daddy?”
He started to grin until Livingston reached into a tiny pocket on his vest and pulled out a thin black band. He quickly glanced up at Livingston to find the man studying him, but he couldn’t read Livingston’s expression.
“I never really thought about the whole marriage thing, and I know people don’t need the whole piece of paper and all that to prove anything. I just want everyone to know you’re mine.”
“Like something you can show off, like look I got something pretty on my arm? I require vows. Party. The whole thing. You’re going to make an honest man out of me.”