My phone rang and I checked the screen. Brielle. I almost ignored her, figuring she deserved it. Still, I had so much swirling inside of me, to talk to her would make me feel better.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
Awkward, with what had happened at lunch.
“What’s up?”
“Matt’s just really angry at you. He doesn’t know I’m calling, but I couldn’t leave it like that, you know?”
“Don’t let him tell you what to do, Brielle.”
“I know, I know. But I’m not you, Eden. I’ve liked him for a long time and he finally likes me. I can’t blow that.”
“Being yourself is not blowing anything,” I told her. “Guys walk all over girls that don’t stand up for themselves.” Even as I reminded her of this, I knew it fell on deaf ears. We’d had this talk a hundred times because Brielle ended up being the doormat in her relationships.
“You’re right. But…”
I had my answer. She was laying herself down at Matt’s feet. “Fine, whatever.” I didn’t want to feel the pinch of concern inside. Too many other hurts were already rampant, fighting. “Other than lunch’s debacle, how is everything? It seems like forever since we talked.”
“I know.” Her voice lightened with relief that I wouldn’t be harping on her anymore. “It’s been okay. I’m getting ready for midterms, aren’t you?”
I hadn’t even thought about them. “Yeah, I am.”
“And, you know, hanging with Matt.”
We were back around her tiny circle already. “Hey, I don’t care if we talk about you guys, I really don’t. I’d rather hear you go on and on about Matt than not talk, ‘kay?”
“’Kay. So, anything up with you?” she asked.
James’ face came into my mind. I closed my eyes when a shudder rumbled my body just thinking about how it felt when he held me. I smiled. “Not much. Except Stacey up and left today.”
“What!?”
“Yeah. Got herself a moving van and packed up half of our stuff.”
“No way. And your dad let her?”
“Are you kidding? Dad probably rented her the moving van.” A fresh burn of anger singed me again.
“He wanted her to go?”
“No, not that. He’s…” I thought of his swollen face and couldn’t talk about his pain. “He just pays for everything, you know that.”
“I can’t believe Stacey left. I didn’t see that coming.”
“You didn’t hear the fights.”
“Still, did you think she’d ever leave?”
“She probably got bored. People do that.” I’d just done that. Still, I thought adults outgrew relationship boredom.
“It wasn’t what Dad wanted, that’s for sure.”
“Yeah.”
“Hey, there’s something we need to talk about.” The long silence warned me what Brielle had to say next might be bad.
“What?” I wondered if she’d heard something about me and James. My heart started to skip.
“You know prom’s coming.”
I let out a sigh. “Don’t worry about it.”
“But you and Matt—”
“—We’re not together anymore. Go for it. I’m sure he wants that.” The slight pause made me ask, “Doesn’t he?”
“That’s the thing. I asked him about it and he didn’t say.
He just said he wasn’t sure what he was doing.”
“Well he’s not going with me, so…” I couldn’t believe Matt was stringing her along with such a deceptive leash.
“Who will you go with?”
“I don’t know and right now, I don’t care if I go or not.” Spending the night partying, then going to some ratty hotel sounded millions of lifetimes away from me now.
“Well, I guess I’ll see what he decides.” Brielle sighed into the phone.
“You decide. If you want to go with Matt, fine. But tell him how it’s going to be.”
“Not all of us get what we want like you, Eden,” she said.
Chapter Sixteen
The next morning, I was at school a half hour early so that I could beat Leesa. Not that our attendance was a contest, but she was honing in on what I felt was mine.
I wore a light pink tee, a short cream-colored skirt and pink sea-shell flip-flops. Matt used to love me in pink. Most guys stared at me in pink, so I was curious to see how the color would go over with James.
I came around the corner of the music room building and heard classical music. And Leesa’s laughter. I stopped.
What was she doing? Wow. I hadn’t seen this coming.
I walked in and found Leesa trailing James around the room like a puppy. He headed into the office and because both of their backs were toward me, neither saw me enter.
I went to my seat and set my stuff down, then sat and pretended to look through my books. With finals coming, I could use the time for study.
“That’s so cool.” Leesa gushed from inside the office.
Just the thought of James smashed in the tiny space with her made me bristle. She was trying to be close to him, the move so obvious I cringed.
“I don’t know how cool it is.” His melodic voice didn’t soothe me, the sound lit my wick. He’d used that tone with me.
I thought he spoke differently to me than to any other girl.
“Graduating top in your class from college? That’s way cool. But it’s even cooler that you’re humble about it.”
“That’s nice of you to say, Leesa.”
The back of my neck burned. When the two of them came out of the room, he saw me.
“Oh. Hey, Eden.”
I glanced up. “Hey.” Then I looked back at my book.
“Leesa, can you pass out those copies of My Heart Will Go On for me, please?”
“Sure. Hi, Eden.”
Leesa glowed like she’d swallowed a searchlight. My stomach crimped. James set his hands in his pockets and casually walked over. I sat six rows up on the risers. He stayed on the floor in front of the first row of chairs. The casual greeting didn’t extend to his eyes—sharp, hot—they swept me from head to toe.
“So, how’s it going?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Fine.”
I was vulnerable. Didn’t like being vulnerable. I went back to studying. It was stupid of me to feel jealous, but I couldn’t help it. I’d never met anyone like him, and I realized then I wanted him more than he wanted me. I hated uneven relationships. I’d always been the one in control. Truth was I didn’t feel in control of whatever was happening between James and me.
I kept my eyes downcast, pretending to read, and listened, frustrated the extra half hour would be wasted now.
“Do you listen to pop music, Mr. Christian?” Leesa asked as she passed out the sheets near where we were.
James crossed back to the piano and my heart sunk.
“Sometimes. Usually in the car because I forget my CDs.”
“Who’s your favorite?”
“I like mostly nineties stuff with a lot of harmonies.
Old Backstreet Boys, ‘N Sync, stuff like that.”
“I like that too.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Do you dance?” Leesa asked.
“Uh…” His light laugh spun my insides. I looked at him.
He caught me. For a minute our eyes held. “I like to dance, but I’ve been told I’m not very good.”
I returned my attention to my book.
“I’ll bet you’re great,” Leesa gushed. “You’re just hiding behind more humility.”
“No, I’m really a bad dancer.”
“Slow dancing is all that matters anyway. I’ll bet you can do that.”
I coughed. I couldn’t believe she was saying this. I tapped my chest with my fist, and sent James a look of disbelief. His face remained annoyingly neutral.
I stood. “I need a drink,” I snapped. Then I headed out the door to the drinking fountain.
After I took a drink, I took
some deep breaths, and waited to go back inside until after the class had filled and the bell had rung.
Making an entrance always boosted my ego: everybody watched me. A faint whistle came from somewhere in the back and I smiled, acknowledging the flattery with a quick tilt of my head.
To my left, I saw James watching me, too. It was satisfying when another boy mumbled, “She’s freakin’ hot.”
Out the corner of my eye I saw James reach for his music stand and plunk it into place.
A smile bloomed on my lips. I sat.
“Why are we singing this piece-of-hud song?” Josh held up the sheet music. We were ready to start practicing My Heart Will Go On, the sopranos carrying the melody, the altos and tenors coming in with some pleasant harmonies.
All in all, I thought we sounded pretty good.
James said, “Mr. Meyers and I decided the theme of the spring concert would be Romance in Bloom. I know, I know, it’s cheesy.”
“Majorly cheesy,” somebody wailed.
“He must have come up with that because you’re way too cool for something so lame,” a boy said.
“He’s been here a lot longer than I have,” James’s tone was respectful. “So…”
“So you caved,” a girl teased.
James defended himself, “Come on, it’s not that bad.”
“Yes,” Josh groaned. “It is. I think we should sing something else. Like Snoop.”
“With your parents’ approval, right?” James joked.
“Who needs approval?” Josh leaned back in his chair.
“Most of us are eighteen now. Those of us who aren’t, well, tough for them. Hey, Mr. C, let’s party at your house this weekend.”
The class broke into roaring agreement. I watched James, anxious to see what he would say. With a big grin, he held up his hands, shook his head. “No partying at my house.”
Complaints hurled through the air at him. His face turned the soft shade of my tee shirt. He looked adorable embarrassed and I forgot that I was mad at him—for the moment.
The class broke out in a chant of, “Par-ty! Par-ty! Party!”
James’ face got redder. “Guys, guys, hold it down.”
“Where do you live, anyway?” Leesa asked. A sharp bristle scraped my spine.
“Somewhere.”
“Oooh, mysterious,” Leesa giggled, wiggling in her front row seat. “I’ll find out, yes I will.”
I almost choked on another cough. I couldn’t believe her nerve. James took the moment and the comments in stride, but his grin screamed uncomfortable. He couldn’t stop fiddling with the music stand. “Let’s move on to our song, ‘kay guys?” He lifted his baton as a signal that he was ready to start. Mumblings followed. He pressed the first note of My Heart Will Go On and we started singing.
“Eden, will you collect the sheet music, please?” James asked over the noise. We’d stopped singing and the bell was set to ring in one minute.
I glanced at Leesa, whose face wore disappointment.
“Leesa, you want to do it?”
She brightened. “Yeah, sure!”
Feeling delicious, I gathered my books. James’ expression was confused but I just tilted my head at him. I added a nice sway to my hips as I left the room.
Once out the door, my delicious euphoria withered.
I’d just been a complete idiot. He’d probably never speak to me again. I wanted to run back and apologize. I wanted to rewind time.
I kept walking, knees wobbly, regret surging through my system. I was cold with the afternoon breeze off the nearby cliffs.
The rest of my day stunk. The only bright spot was that Brielle waited for me at her car and we drove to the plaza together for lunch.
“You okay?” she asked.
As much as I tried to hide the morning foul up with my fake designer smile, I guess I couldn’t. Part of me was glad she’d seen through it. Maybe our friendship could survive her fling with Matt and the secret I kept inside after all.
“I had a lame morning, that’s all.”
“Yeah? What happened?”
“Just stuff. I don’t mean to be evasive, I seriously don’t.
But,” I thought of Dad and our fight, “Dad and I had a fight is all.”
She nodded, satisfied. “That sucks. Is he still mourning over Stacey?”
“Mourning and in another world. He thinks I’m the selfish one. That just shows how screwed up he is.”
“Yeah.”
We parked at the plaza and got out, walking close but not arm-in-arm like we usually did when we were together.
Matt, Josh and Tanner sat around our usual table. I ignored Matt’s glare and, in spite of the distance the last few weeks had created between Brielle and me, hooked my arm in hers.
“What are you doing here?” Matt sat forward, resting his elbows on the wrought-iron table.
“Get over it.” I sat down. Brielle sat in the free chair next to Matt and shifted her feet after Matt’s disapproving frown.
“I’m gonna go get a drink,” her voice warbled. “You want anything?” she asked Matt.
I couldn’t resist. “Yeah, thanks. I’ll take a diet Coke,” I chirped, smiled.
Her quick laugh was an effort to fill the awkward silence in the air.
“I don’t want anything,” Matt scowled. Brielle tapped off in her platforms.
I sat back and extended two, shapely legs I knew Matt loved. His eyes flicked over them.
“Be nice,” I told him.
“You want me to be nice?” His body tensed like coiled snake. “You’re the one walking around like a…”
“A what, Matt? You can’t take it, that’s what’s bugging you.”
Matt’s jaw turned to stone. Nobody said anything.
“Just leave it.” Josh’s efforts at keeping peace.
“Exactly,” I said. “Let’s get on with it. Josh, you were railing pretty hard on Mr. Christian today.”
“Just hassling him.”
“About partying,” I added.
“He’s a cool guy. I could see hanging with him.”
“Yeah, he’d be cool about it.”
“Course he’d be cool. He loves a good party, just like the next guy.”
How little you know about him.
I watched Brielle come back with two icy drinks and a fake smile. “I guess you could try to find out.” I took my diet Coke from Brielle who sat in the chair between Matt and me. “And you said he was old.”
“Me?” Josh looked embarrassed. “No way.”
I sipped, smiled. “Anyway, he’s sure got Leesa Weitz by the bra.”
Josh and Tanner laughed. Josh rubbed his eyes. “And that’d be a sports bra, right? Cause she’s like, a triple A.”
“You guys are terrible.” I shouldn’t rag on Leesa, her misfortune with scarlet fever had earned my eternal sympathy. But all was fair in love and war. “She can’t help that.”
“That, and she’s ugly,” Josh shuddered with drama.
“Leesa?” Brielle crossed her legs after a glance at mine.
“You mean Baldy?”
The boys laughed again. This time I saw myself in the mirror of my bedroom the night I had thought I could share my hair with Leesa. I didn’t laugh. “She likes him. So what?”
“That’s desperate.” Josh ripped open a bag of Doritos.
“He’s way too cool for her.”
My cell phone rang and I tugged it out of my bag.
James. Heat flushed my cheeks. I shot to my feet, then casually walked away from the table.
“Hello?”
“Eden?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s James.”
“Hey.”
“Can we talk later today? Maybe meet at Starbucks?”
A hard knob of concern formed in my throat. “Sure.
Everything all right?”
A long pause. My heart started to pound. He said, “I think it’d be better if we talk in person.”
A Season of Eden Page 14