The Ultimate Linguist

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The Ultimate Linguist Page 3

by T. Mason Gilbert

Arboralum exploded into a blaze of pure green light and disappeared. The disappearance of Peabody before my very eyes and the fact that there was no force wave accompanying the explosion made me rethink what was happening. That was pure fantasy. Ughh. This is just perfect, I thought. I had read enough fantasy novels to be somewhat familiar with what I was experiencing. A mortal man or woman stumbles into a portal and is sent on a quest not necessarily of their choosing. Even though I liked high fantasy novels, the question that always came to mind while reading them was, why?

  Good question.

  What am I doing here? I don’t have any time for this. I have a pot roast I need to get defrosted. I have to go to the grocery store. I have kids to pick up from school. The Lady Gail will have to wait.

  I got my sense of direction back and found the path. However now it only led one way—forward. The return path had disappeared into a tangle of underbrush. At first, I attempted to go back through the bushy barrier, but the tiny hands of the bushes had grown much larger and grabbed stubbornly at my pant legs. The Rindera Forest felt like a living being; a being that was not going to let me leave the way I came. A gust of wind acknowledged my realization of my predicament. I turned back to the path and went forward to find Gail.

  I walked for miles on the dirt path and the forest became thick with trees. I was consumed with thirst, wishing for Peabody’s wine bag or some water. Strange animal noises called out from either side of the path. I couldn’t identify any I was familiar with and got the idea that I was the topic of discussion.

  Finally, while walking through the cold, dark forest, I suddenly saw a clearing; beautiful rays of sunlight appeared just ahead.

  Freedom.

  I ran to exit my forested prison and heard the wonderful rushing sound of river water. Bursting through the opening in the wood’s canopy, I stumbled out of the forest into the harsh, scorching heat of the sun. The humidity had dissipated and the sunlight seemed brighter than when I had entered the wood, which seemed odd.

  3

  The Chuckling Bush

  Tired and thirsty from my long trek through the forest, I was relieved to see a crystal clear, greenish-blue river. The color rivaled the hues of the ocean on a Caribbean white sand beach. I didn’t need any more proof that I wasn’t in Georgia anymore. The rivers back home didn’t look like this and more proof was right around the corner.

  My mouth and throat were parched. I hurried over to the shore, sprawling on my belly to drink from the cool, flowing water. The sensation of water coursing through my body refreshed me, and I relaxed a bit for the first time since arriving wherever I was. I drank my fill, and then flopped over on my back, closing my eyes. The odd words of Peabody played in my head. I had seen no golden creature, but the sound of the river rushing by spurred me to look up in the sky. I opened my eyes but saw no eagles flying by, dashing my hope of help. I chastised myself. Of course there wasn’t any. Peabody was just an illusion brought on by severe dehydration. How else could he have disappeared before my eyes?

  I didn’t want to think about that right now. I turned over again and drank more cool water. While drinking from the stream, I noticed two large fish held their position and stared at me.

  “They wish to be paid for the drink,” I heard a voice say in proper English.

  I snapped my head around and saw a small golden-haired creature sitting on its haunches upon a large rock. A talking animal. Well, why not? I’d been forewarned. I stifled a laugh because I didn’t want to feel like I was cracking up.

  The creature resembled a beaver without a tail. Our eyes met and he nodded slightly. He hopped off the rock, strolled down to the shore (on all fours), picked some pinkish-red berries from a bush, and threw them in the water. In a different language he said, “Here you go. Stay safe, be well.” The fish consumed the berries quickly and swam away with the current.

  He turned back to me and said in English, “You see? To drink from the Roll, you have to pay the toll.”

  “The roll?” I asked, still stunned to be speaking to an animal.

  “This is the Roll River. It is beautiful, is it not?”

  I’m speaking to an animal who speaks English, I thought. “I suppose,” was all I could manage. I felt like I was spiraling downward inside myself.

  “Some say it talks and tells your future if you listen to it.” The creature paused and began to listen. I stopped my dizzying feeling by remembering Peabody’s words. Again I looked up into the sky, hoping for help.

  Two eagles soared on the thermals. Seeing those two eagles there brought me back from a lost feeling. But before I got too excited about the validity of the Arboralum’s prophecy, another feature in the sky struck me with wonder.

  “You have two suns,” I said, more to myself than to the creature.

  “You were expecting maybe three or four?” the creature said to himself in his own language.

  Suddenly I could neither speak nor answer. A feeling of panic bubbled up, overshadowing my wonder, followed by an urge to cry. If I was having a dream I would expect weird things to happen because, after all, I’m having a dream. I pinched myself again—hard. It really hurt. But it didn’t matter. I knew I was dreaming. No doubt about it.

  “Where am I? And how the heck did I get here?” I asked, now speaking (again inexplicably) in the creature’s native language.

  A look of surprise crossed his face and in his own tongue he said, “I told you. You are by the Roll River, near the edge of the Rindera Forest. As to how you got here, I always find that asking my feet that question gives me the answer. Don’t you?”

  My mouth was agape but the creature waited patiently. My mounting terror began to dissipate. Quickly, I scanned back over my morning and how I had come to be here.

  The creature speaking English and the two suns had jolted me into the reality of my unreality. I wasn’t dreaming. Something had happened. This is a real fantasy. Time to get serious, I thought. I figured that finding Gail would help me get back to where I belong. There was no way around it. The pot roast would have to wait.

  The creature interrupted my thought process. “I’m sorry. I have not properly introduced myself. My name is Nodd.”

  Play along. Play along. The words rushed through my head. It took a moment to gather my wits. Then speaking to Nodd in his own language I said, “Pleased to meet you. I am Allyson. The Arboralum told me you would have some directions for me.”

  “And so I do,” he said. He pointed. “This path leads you to the main road, which then leads you to Thunzarya. There you will find the Lady Gail. Don’t stray from the path. If you hear the sound of horses, hide immediately. Stay safe, be well.”

  Before I could ask him anything else, Nodd jumped into the river and swam away.

  Having no choice but to follow his directions, I resolved to travel the path and river upstream and hope that it led me to some kind of civilization and Gail. On the bright side, the small pathway stayed next to the river and eventually widened into the road Nodd had spoken about. The vast Rindera Forest continued on my left and had no end in sight. My tummy rumbled, reminding me that I was hungry. The suns fell behind some large mountains in the distance and the warm air disappeared with them, turning the twilight chillier as time rambled into the night.

  Shortly thereafter the night turned darker than I ever remembered it being on Earth.

  On Earth.

  The thought hadn’t occurred to me until then. Of course, this can’t be Earth. I resisted looking up into the night sky, afraid to look at the stars. An amateur astronomer, I knew my friends would be gone—Aquila, Canis Major, Cassiopeia. After a bit, I looked up anyway. My trepidation turned to amazement.

  There were more stars than I’d ever seen at home and some were quite large, a multitude of assorted diamonds splashed onto the black carpet of space. However, a twinge of loss dampened my wonder because there were none of my old friends. I wondered where I was in the universe. Was this planet in a different galaxy?
A different dimension? Who knows how these high fantasy things work?

  Maybe Gail does. With that thought, I finally had a purpose to find the old woman.

  I quickened my pace to get to Thunzarya and stayed vigilant for any danger. I had the fleeting thought that it can’t get any worse. I was wrong. I traveled for miles in the darkness, tripping several times and wishing I had a flashlight. No moon meant no moonlight, but the bright stars helped a bit. I could still hear the river behind the bushes, which had grown taller near the riverbank. The babbling flow of water gave me some comfort for a while but then I began to dread if things could get even worse.

  As I was pondering my predicament while I was walking down this very dark road, I got frightened half out of my skin by some weird sound in the bushes, and it was a laughing hyena, only not the kind you see in Africa. I could just make out his features in the bright starlight. His back was turned toward me so he was unaware of my presence.

  Because of his own muttering laughter, he remained oblivious as I crept up behind him. I didn’t want to come too close because I had no weapon to defend myself if he turned violent. Damn! I remembered I had my car keys with an illumination light on the key chain. Without making a sound, I pulled them out of my jeans pocket, chastising myself for not thinking of using them sooner. I pointed the light in the direction of this

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