by J F Rogers
The lights swirled, and I ran with all the energy I could summon away from it, toward the woman on the sandy beach. I didn’t look back. As usual, the woman stayed the same distance away. Certain the swirling lights were expanding behind me, but afraid to look, I expected to hear Aodan’s voice. But I didn’t.
Another voice called to me from the opposite direction. “Well done, child.”
I turned to the man from Saltinat, his white robe billowing in the breeze. “You are right to trust in God, not Drochaid. It is only a tool. Follow my prompting within you.”
I wanted to run toward him and never leave, but I woke. Flying toads croaked in the trees above me. Peace swept over me like a breeze. Never had I woken feeling so refreshed, as though I had been in His presence. It gave me the strength to do what needed to be done, though I didn’t comprehend what that was. I knew that all who were able must go to Ceas Croi in their animal form.
****
We traveled for two more nights without much trouble. With each passing day I grew more confident we’d made the right call. An intangible calm about the decision made it feel right. If the fasgadair were looking for us, they probably searched the City of Nica or Diabalta. And they’d be looking for a girl with an amulet, not a falcon. If an ambush awaited us in Ceas Croi, it must be part of God’s plan.
Declan now only spoke to me when pertinent to the mission. An invisible wall had grown up between us, with neither of us able to penetrate it. So we avoided one another. It was probably for the best. My soaring high above him simplified the task.
On the third day, before the sun rose and we sought a suitable place to camp, I spied movement ahead of my friends on the ground. In the moonlight, I made out at least five human forms. Although they might not be fasgadair, I didn’t take any chances. Circling overhead I squealed, “Kak, kak, kak!” repeatedly at the top of my lungs.
At my cry, all movement on the ground paused. Then everyone looked up before quickening their pace. They would be upon each other within moments. I dove, swooping over the possible attackers to determine who they were.
Fasgadair.
Remembering what Declan said about my talons being weapons, I took the opportunity to test them. After a quick, silent prayer, I landed on a fasgadair’s head. With little effort, I squeezed my yellow, scaly, digits and the black nails pierced its scalp. The creature bellowed. As he attempted to grab me, I released, flailing my wings, retreating to the safety of the skies.
Chaos reigned below. The two bands had met while I fled to the air. On my return, I found one fasgadair down. Its body turned to dust and blew away in the wind. Wolf lunged at another’s throat.
Cahal, still in polar bear form, standing on hind legs at a height of twelve feet or so, towered over a fasgadair. A deep, guttural sound emanated from his massive belly and projected from his snout.
Ryann, a puma, pounced on another bloodsucker. Her snarling scream and sharp fangs sent shivers up my puny spine.
Declan attacked another with his sword as Pepin, armed with my dagger, hacked away at its hamstrings from behind.
Another vampire sprang toward Cahal’s back. I swooped down, piercing its scalp with my talons as before. This time, the middle talon on my right foot slid into something squishy, like a toothpick pierces a grape. I looked down at the eyeball on my claw.
Howling in pain, the creature sought to grab my wings.
After releasing my grip, I flapped with every ounce of my being, desperate to reach refuge in the air. Remembering from Gnuatthara that the fasgadair don’t like loud, earsplitting noise, I screeched at the top of my lungs. As the creature grasped my right wing, and I feared he might rip it off, a menacing snarl rang from Ryann. The moment she liberated my wing from the vampire’s grip, I took to the sky. From safety, I watched Ryann, on top of the fasgadair, bite its throat.
Howling, the fasgadair grasped Ryann’s head and, with the flick of a wrist, twisted it.
Ryann’s body fell limp.
Chapter Thirty-Two
◊◊◊
“NO!” I SCREAMED, THOUGH a kak came out of my beak.
The fasgadair didn’t wait. It took off like a hummingbird through the woods.
I flew after it, hatred coursing through my feathered form. What I would do if I caught up to it, I didn’t know. But I had to try. I kept it in sight for a couple of seconds before it disappeared. I took a few swipes across the horizon, scanning the ground for movement before giving up.
Circling my friends, I found the fallen fasgadair, some closer to their heads than others.
Everyone gathered around Ryann’s lifeless puma form.
I dropped to a private spot on the ground to change. Upon landing, I nearly fainted when I found the fasgadair’s eyeball still skewered on my talon. I tried to shake it off, but it stuck. Disgusted, yet eager to check on Ryann, I plucked it off with my bill and returned to my human form.
“Is she all right?” I already knew the answer, but a tiny piece of me wouldn’t let go of the possibility a miracle had occurred.
Declan and Pepin parted to make room.
“Ryann is dead, Fallon.” The pain in Declan’s eyes pierced my heart.
“No! She can’t be!”
“She’s in a better place now.” Cahal wiped his brow. “But we must bury her before we move on.”
“This can’t be. She can’t die. She protected me. She has more right to live than I. She can’t have died protecting me.” I tried to run despite the tears blurring my vision. Declan grabbed me, but I squirmed and pried his arms off me. Once free from his grip, I ran into the thick woods, stopping only after tripping over a root.
“Why? Why? Why!” I yelled. “Why bring her into my life? Why get me to trust her just to take her away? You take everyone from me!”
Fury burned within me. I grabbed a branch and slammed it against a tree. I was a picture of ladylike grace—in an elegant gown, face twisted in rage, pounding on a tree with its own arm. I didn’t care how I appeared. I whacked the tree until the stick broke to a useless nub. I flung the remains and slumped to the ground, sobbing.
Why did I feel so alone? I wasn’t. Not anymore. God was with me, out of reach and silent, but present nonetheless.
“God, help me,” I pleaded. “Take this anger from me, please.”
Head buried between my knees, I sensed His presence. I imagined His arm around me. The anger subsided, replaced by profound sadness.
I leaned against the tree I’d taken my frustrations out on. Everyone around me died. This time, I’d been here to stop it but failed.
Am I being punished? Is everyone I care about destined to die?
Ryann’s death was my fault. I’d been the one to suggest—no, order everyone into totem form. She told me they weren’t adequate fighters as animals. If I’d been in human form, I might’ve been able to set the bloodsucker on fire. Why hadn’t I thought of that? I might as well have been the one to twist her neck. I was as guilty.
I wanted nothing more than to kill the one-eyed fasgadair who had done this to her. She sacrificed herself for me, and for what? What was I doing here but leading my friends to their deaths?
Face in my palms, I choked on my sobs. “I’m so sorry. Forgive me. Forgive me for killing Ryann. I didn’t mean to let it happen. Forgive me for wanting to murder the good-for-nothing monster. I can’t help it. Why, God? Why did you choose me for this? I’m worthless. I’m—”
A surge of energy rushed through me. I took a deep breath and stared at the sky. Who was I to question God? Who was I to suggest to my Creator that I’m not capable of His purpose for me?
Fresh tears flowed. “I’m sorry, God. I don’t mean to insult You. But how do I do what You’re asking of me without losing more lives? I don’t want anyone else to die because of me.”
As I sat crying, wishing Ryann were here to talk to, pouring out the jumbled contents of my heart to an unseen Being, the answer came: go to Ceas Croi alone.
The solution itself didn’t bring comfort, and I had no idea what I’d do when I arrived. But it was a definitive answer. And it hadn’t come from me. I would never have suggested it. If it had been from me, I would question it. Instead, it strengthened me to face whatever lay ahead.
Once I’d calmed down and washed my face in the stream, I returned to my companions. Declan placed an arm around my shoulder and led me to a hole they’d dug. Ryann, in puma form, lay at the bottom. A lump formed in my throat. I wanted to see her face.
I will make it up to you, Ryann. Your death won’t be for nothing.
Before covering her with earth, Declan spoke a few words. “Ryann lived a good, loving, selfless life in service to the One True God. She is now trouble free, celebrating her homecoming with Him and loved ones who have already joined Him. God, we are thankful Ryann is now with You. We will meet again when our time comes.”
In a daze, I said goodbye and helped place the dirt over her. Dirt piled on top of the unfamiliar feline. The last piece of Ryann I would ever see was the pointy, sandy-brown ear. I’d been cheated. This cat wasn’t her.
We made camp in silence, eyes downcast. Wolf, Cahal, and Declan hunted though I doubted anyone wanted to eat. It seemed we needed the normalcy more than anything. Pepin and I gathered firewood and kindling. As I picked up wood, despite my efforts to the contrary, my mind kept wandering to Ryann.
I would leave before my companions woke. It was the only way to ditch them. In bird form, I should be able to get to the entrance in the cliffs without difficulty. For now, I had to take advantage of my time alone with Pepin.
“So, Pepin. You say you know where the entrance to Ceas Croi is?” I shook my head over my pathetic attempt at being nonchalant.
“Mmmhmmm.” He piled his short arms with sticks. He seemed too preoccupied with his grief to notice my pitiful act.
I relaxed a little. “Where is it?” I viewed him askance as I loaded up with kindling.
“Ceas Croi is a mountain range. The pech hollowed out tunnels, rooms, great gathering halls. I’ve never seen it, but the pech still talk about how wonderful it was…” He walked down into a gully full of broken limbs.
I followed. “I’m sure it was great, Pepin. But how do you get in?”
“It is full of mysteries, secret passageways, boulders to slow pursuers. I’m sure the fasgadair haven’t learned all its secrets.”
I shook my head. I definitely didn’t need to concern myself with his suspecting my plan. I’ve never seen him so out of it. My gut twisted. I couldn’t allow myself to think about what had put him in that state. “That’s nice, Pepin. But where is the secret entrance?”
“A road climbs halfway up the tallest peak. At the end of the road is the main entrance. Guarded, I’m sure. Above it, on a ledge, there is what appears to be solid rock, but it is not. You can walk straight through.” He tugged on a limb then dropped his armload to work it loose.
“What about the secret passageways?”
He yanked the stick free and broke it over his knee in thirds. “Hmmm?”
“Secret passageways. You said Ceas Croi has secret passageways.”
His eyes, aimed at me, glazed over, looking through me.
“Pepin?”
His eyes cleared. “Ah, yes. Secret passageways…” He added three new sticks to his pile and gathered them.
“Yes.” Something crunched behind me. I peeked over my shoulder to make sure we were still alone. “You and Le’Corenci said there were secret passageways. Do you know anything about them?”
Pepin shook his head and resumed his search. “No. I’ve never been to Ceas Croi. I hear it’s wonderful though. The pech still talk about it…”
“You don’t say.” I gave up on getting anything more from him and added a couple extra twigs to my pile in silence.
Chapter Thirty-Three
◊◊◊
THOUGH MY EYES DROOPED, I fought falling asleep. I needed to leave before they woke. Long after the others’ breathing slowed, I glanced at Cahal. He sat facing the opposite direction, propped against a tree, keeping watch. I couldn’t take my things, just a small cinch sack to carry my dress and Drochaid when I transfigured. I couldn’t write a note in the dirt. They wouldn’t be able to translate my writing. I sighed. Oh well. Hopefully they’d figure it out and not spend an eternity searching the nearby woods for me.
I grabbed the sack and, careful to step lightly, attempted to sneak away.
“Where are you going?” Cahal’s hushed voice stopped me.
I turned to him, keeping the sack behind me so as not to raise his suspicions. “Umm, bathroom.” They no longer argued that there was no room with a bath in the wilderness and understood my ultimate meaning. I almost added, “I’ll be right back,” but that would surely make me a liar. As it was, I’d have to take care of business before leaving. But perhaps I was still a liar by omission, for failing to tell him where I would be going after. It couldn’t be helped. I had to do what I had to do.
Cahal eyed me suspiciously. What was taking him so long? He had no reason not to believe me. I’d left everything else behind. My bedding still lay mussed up on the ground.
Cahal finally waved me off. I headed deeper into the woods. When enough distance and trees separated us, I placed my dress and Drochaid in my pouch, and then considered my shoes. Ryann had carried them for me before. Though thin, they added too much weight and bulk. I would have to leave them and go barefoot when I returned to human form. Perhaps it was better this way. If they found the shoes, maybe they’d figure out what I’d done.
I flew off, taking to heights I’d never gone, staying above the cloud line for better invisibility. I imagined it must be like soaring above barren, frozen tundra. The wind pushed me forward, making travel easy. A few flaps, catch the wind, and coast. And repeat.
It didn’t take long to find Ceas Croi. The peak jutted above the cloud line like an iceberg in the sea. I flew straight to the summit and landed on the rocky surface, the wind blasting me. Unable to see through the clouds, I pushed off, attempting to keep the mountain in view and not crash into it in the whiteout conditions.
Once I found my way through, I alighted on a lifeless branch. Finding nothing resembling an entrance below, I hopped off and flew to the opposite side. A road and a main entrance stood about halfway down the mountain. Didn’t Pepin say the secret entryway was above the main entrance? Using my acute bird’s-eye vision, I spotted a thin ledge. It wound around the mountain and disappeared about four hundred feet above the main entrance. It seemed like a path the pech might’ve used long ago.
Close to the mountain, I felt certain no one would spot me. The ledge lay right beneath me. I tucked myself into a dive and spread my wings in time for a smooth landing.
On the ledge, out of sight from those who might wander about below, I pulled Drochaid from my sack, taking care not to kick it over the edge. Unsure if I should keep using it, I prayed it might show me what I needed to know right now.
The arrow pointing into the mountain glowed. I danced, hopping from one foot to the other in a circle, unable to contain my excitement. So I wasn’t being stupid after all. Was this the entrance Pepin spoke of? Could it be this easy?
I bounded over and pecked at the rock, stumbling as my beak went straight through. The rock was a mirage. I silently thanked Pepin and praised God while I returned to Drochaid and pushed it to the edge of the sack. I stuck my talons inside the pouch to hold down the bottom, pulled the top with my beak to open it, and pushed Drochaid in with my other foot. It took work and much fumbling, but I got it in the sack and dragged it along. Unable to see what lay before me other than solid rock, I inched forward with care.
On the other side of the wall, darkness engulfed me. A musty odor filled my nares. I stilled, attempting to check for movement with my other senses, to ensure I was alone. But as a falcon, my eyesight was my greatest strength.
I changed into huma
n form and bumped my head. “Ow!” I covered my mouth. What if something else was in here and I’d just alerted it to my presence? I quieted, hoping my eyes would adjust. But that would require some amount of light. There was none. Never had I experienced such complete darkness, complete blindness. I reached out and groped the walls. Panic welled within me. What if I couldn’t find anything? What if I couldn’t find my way out? I touched something on the wall. Oh please be something useful! My fingers followed the protrusion. A candle? I circled it with my fingers, gliding toward the top. Yes, a wick!
But I couldn’t see it. How would I light it?
“Please, God. Please.” I begged softly. “I need light.”
Flames erupted from the tips of candles in wall sconces. I held my breath, listening for signs of life, waiting for my eyes to adjust.
Firelight flickered. Did I do that? I shook my head. It didn’t matter. I’d asked God, and He delivered. It came from Him. It’s all from Him. Thank You.
I appeared to be in some type of tower. Candles lined the curved wall. Steps led to where I now stooped under the low roof. There was nothing else and nowhere to go but down.
I threw Drochaid and my dress on and descended the stairs. The glowing arrow pointed down the stairs. The smooth stone chilled my bare feet. Though I’d have preferred my shoes’ protection, walking in silence was easier without them.
The staircase wound down forever. Sconces positioned every few feet on the wall cast flickering light. Constant fear of someone—or something—waiting around the perpetual bend slowed my progress. Then the stairs came to an abrupt end. No hallway, landing, another flight of stairs—nothing but a wall. I lifted my hand to the rock in my way. Rather than landing on the surface, my fingers slid right through.