by Ruby Vincent
“Derek,” I tried in a softer voice. “You’re going to hate yourself when you have to accept that we share a father. I don’t want that. Please, stop.”
He shook his head. “We don’t share a father, Zela, but this is important to you, so I’ll help you figure out who your father truly is.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead too quickly for me to get away. I staggered back like his kiss was a slap.
“I’ll start now.” Derek moved toward the door. “I’ll see you at school on Monday, Zela. I love you.”
He slipped inside before I could find the words to tell him off.
I backed up until I hit the wall. My legs gave out and I slid to the floor.
I stayed there until a guard found me forty minutes later.
Chapter Four
“Zee? Zee?”
The edge of the textbook dug sharply into my palm, but the pain was a buzzing gnat in a storm. Undefined figures and shapes moved around me as I trudged down the hall.
“Zee, are you okay?”
Adam grasped my arm, pulling me up short. The world came into focus on his handsome, worried face.
“Jordan said I needed to look out for you today and she was right. Did you sleep at all last night?”
I scoffed. “Sleep? Yeah, I think I did that for an hour. Maybe two.”
“Why?”
Because my brother announced he was in love with me. Again.
Clutching my stomach, I leaned on Adam’s chest. “I need to sit down.”
“Come on.”
Adam pulled me close and walked us both to the cafeteria. The first day of junior year arrived and brought all the people, sounds, and smells with it. The scent of sizzling bacon and melted cheese hit the back of my throat, but instead of tickling my appetite, my stomach heaved.
Derek sat at our usual table, casually eating his breakfast like it was no big deal. Around him, Cole, Michael, Landon, Tanner, Nico, Justin, Owen, and Hunter were engaged in conversation and laughing it up.
I wanted to run back to my oversized dorm and hide under the bed.
Nothing was right. I was too messed up after the party to fool around—let alone talk—with Landon. I was past due for a conversation with Cole and Michael. Not to mention finally being in the same room as my father, but I spent all night chasing Derek around. And Derek...
Adam tugged me toward the food line.
“No, I can’t eat,” I said.
“Jordan also told me to make sure you get some food in you.”
I pulled a face. “Can you guys stop talking about me? Please.”
“We love you the most. We’re going to make sure you’re okay when the other can’t be here.” He kissed my temple. “Don’t worry. Jordan will take over cheering you up this weekend.”
His words were sweet, and yet the urge to cry overwhelmed me. Adam’s kiss was that of a brother’s without question. I wish I could say the same of the ones Derek gave me Saturday night.
Adam picked up two trays and piled them with food despite my protests. Landon relieved me of the apple when I set mine down. I barely noticed. I was fixed on Derek.
His seat was next to me. Everyone knew this. No one fought it. If I sat somewhere else, they would think something was wrong and I could not explain what was going on with us.
“Dude,” I heard Justin say as I slowly lowered myself in the chair. “I’ve always wondered what’s up with you and the apples.”
“Henrietta says...”
I tuned everything out as I stared at him. My aggravation grew with every passing second. Derek was just sitting there, eating his bacon, like the world wasn’t fucking ending, because that’s what it felt like to me.
“You have to stop.”
I blinked. “What? Stop what?”
“Stop staring at me like you want to telepathically explode my head,” he said calmly. He didn’t even look up from his bacon. “You’re freaking me out.”
I gaped at him open-mouthed. “I’m freaking you out?! Are you kidding me?” I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. “What you said to me the other night—”
“Are you okay?” Derek dropped his smirk. “You don’t look like you slept.”
“That’s because I didn’t,” I clipped, “because of you.”
“Well, that’s payback because I didn’t sleep because of you either.”
Derek’s new phone rested on the table between us. He tapped the screen. “Eighteen years ago. Somerset University. English major. I’ve started looking up the guys your mother went to school with at that time.”
“Why would you— You can’t—” Exploding his head was sounding tempting. I took a deep breath and tried to get something out that made sense. “I don’t want you doing that.”
“Why not? I said I’d help you.”
I looked him in the eyes, more serious than I’d ever been. “Because you’re in denial and this useless project of yours is delaying the inevitable.” I glanced around and chose my words carefully. “You need to accept what our relationship is now. Please.”
I moved under the table and took his hand. “I love you like a brother,” I whispered, “and that’s all you’ll be to me.”
Derek leaned in, pressing his forehead to mine. I went rigid like his touch electrocuted me, but I didn’t try to pull away.
“That’s not all I am to you,” he whispered. “Only one of us is in denial and I won’t stop until I prove it.”
“I’m telling you to stop,” I forced through clenched teeth.
He shrugged. “But you don’t tell me what to do.”
“Ugh!” I shoved him off. “You’re so—! So—!”
“Yours?” he finished. His smirk made me flush.
“Go,” I ordered. “Now. You and I need some space until you get your head straight.”
“Alright.” Derek got to his feet. He didn’t look as bothered by this as I expected. “If that’s what you want.”
“Really?” His agreeableness cooled my ire. “Thank you.”
“No problem. I can give you space, but we both know you can’t stay away from me.”
Embarrassment lit my face on fire at how loudly he said that.
“I’ll be with my breakfast buddies until you change your mind.”
With that, he walked off and sure enough plopped down at a table of sophomore girls who were all over him in seconds.
“What was that about?” Adam asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
I stabbed at my food for the rest of breakfast. A few people tried to make conversation with me but gave up when they got clipped, one-word answers in reply. Landon was most persistent.
He caught up to me as I stomped out of the cafeteria. Hooking his arm around my neck, Landon made me stop.
“Things are clearly still weird with you and Derek.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I repeated.
“Then we won’t talk,” he said easily. Landon brushed his lips along my skin—a kiss so feather-light as to hardly be there. “You’re mad. Let me take your mind off of it.”
“Yes.”
My reply was so quick he chuckled. Jordan warned me against getting naked as a means of avoiding my problems, but she also told me Derek just needed time and that my life wasn’t a festering shithole. She was wrong about a lot of things.
“We have class now, but we can take our lunch upstairs and eat it off each other.”
I curled into his side, breathing him in and letting his sweet appley scent calm my jangled nerves. “You don’t have a problem with me shamelessly using your body as stress relief?”
“That’s literally my dream. Use me all day and six times on the weekends.”
Giggling, I snagged his collar and pulled him down for a kiss.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too.”
“Told you that’s how he became Elite.”
A snide voice popped our bubble. A group of Elite girls posted up against the wall, watching us. Shan
non’s lips peeled back in a snarl that didn’t look good on her pretty face.
“He fucked around until he got a few of the Elite guys to train him and feed him answers. Disgusting,” she spat. “Argyle and Whittaker should never have approved the tournament.”
I wasn’t surprised Zach’s girlfriend was being awful. What shocked me was her little posse nodding their heads.
“Shannon, why don’t you go and get some business, so you can stay out of mine.”
“Why don’t you go and get some dick?” She laughed. “But I’m sure you’re on your way.”
My tone was as sweet as my smile. “You’re right. I am.”
I grabbed Landon’s hand and dragged him away, leaving Shannon to shout nonsense at my back.
“Damn, that was hot,” he said. “Were you serious because I can be late to class?”
I bumped his shoulder. “We’re not missing our first day, but we have a date for lunch.”
Landon and I climbed the six flights of stairs, our flirting getting filthier the whole way up. We stepped through the E-marked double doors and Landon slipped.
I shot forward to catch him and my foot went flying. We fell hard, landing face-first on a sticky substance coating the floor. I peeled open my eyes and before me laid a used, bloody tissue.
“Uck!”
I batted the nasty thing away and scrambled up for a proper look at the magnificent Elite Wing. The floor was covered in garbage and whatever Landon and I were coated in. Bulletin boards had been ripped up, their butcher paper in shreds on the floor. Only one was still intact. On the sign-up sheets for the school clubs and activities, was a huge upside-down A.
The door opened behind us.
“Wow,” said Cole. “I think class is canceled.”
THE TEACHERS ORDERED us back to our dorms while the custodians cleaned up the mess. Everyone went back to theirs while I went to Landon’s and took up his offer of stress relief.
“Why did they do that? How did they do that?” I pulled the covers up to my chin. “For All’s pranks were harmless last year, but this was just... nasty. What did junking up the hallway and soaping the floors prove?”
Cool air wafted over my chest. Landon was craftily tugging the sheets off my breasts.
I flicked his nose. “Stop it. I’m cold.”
He grinned wolfishly. “I know.”
I rolled my eyes. “Can you behave yourself for one second?”
“You weren’t saying that ten minutes ago.”
“I’ll take that as a no,” I replied, smile playing at my lips.
With first period canceled, we got a cool hour and a half to explore each other’s bodies to our hearts’ content. I took losing my virginity off the table though. When we finally did it, it wouldn’t be while my head was wrecked over a dozen different things. I wanted our first time making love to be the sweet, perfect experience it almost was that night at his house.
“Maybe he has something else to prove,” Landon offered. He pushed the covers down some more. My breath hitched as he trailed his finger along my lower belly. “Whittaker and Argyle didn’t hear him when he played nice. Now, he’s stepping it up.”
“I don’t like the sound of that.”
I wanted things stirred up at Breakbattle. I wanted Whittaker—and the board of education—to accept this system hurts more students than it helps.
I wanted to rip the expansion out of Cameron’s hands and tear his plans up like confetti. I wanted him to know it was me who took it away from him.
What I didn’t want was anyone getting hurt.
Turning over, I took hold of Landon’s chin and kissed him.
I wasn’t concerned about new For All until now. It’s clear his crusade was against the system while the true For All, Cameron, was against me. I knew what Cameron wanted. I didn’t know what this new guy’s actual end game was.
“I love you,” I said softly. “Will you warm me up?”
“Yes, please.”
We fooled around in his room until the chime for second period forced us out. I left Landon’s room and practically ran into Michael and Cole heading out to class. It was plain on their face that they guessed what we were up to.
Cole picked up his feet and kept going without a word. Michael stopped me when I tried to do the same.
“Hey. Can we talk?”
I glanced over my shoulder. Landon tossed textbooks into his backpack.
“I’ll see you in class,” I called to him.
Michael and I set off. “What’s up?”
“I’m sure you can guess.”
Michael switched his backpack to the other shoulder. His free arm hung between us and brushed against mine as we walked closer than needed down the stairs.
“I had fun talking to you this summer,” he said. “I usually love seeing my dad, but the whole time I wished I was with you.”
Warmth grew like embers inside of me, stoked by every deliberate touch. Landon was fierce. Cole was Cole. But Michael was sweet. He left me presents in front of my door. Sent me silly text messages. And spent hours comforting me when he could have been enjoying Orlando with his friends.
“I missed you too.” Any other day, I might have been strong enough to hold that confession in, but that day Michael’s pinky was hooked through mine, and it rendered me helpless.
“What are you doing this weekend?”
“This weekend?”
Smiling, Michael held my gaze as he brought my hand to his lips. “We have a date.”
“Date?” I squeaked.
“Is Friday or Saturday night better for you?”
“Date?”
I was repeating things like a moronic parrot and the kisses he was dropping on my fingers were entirely to blame. I pulled away to allow my brain to function normally again. Michael looked at me curiously.
“I think we should talk before we make plans for a date,” I said.
Leading him off to the side, we pressed against the wall while the other Elites headed to class.
“Is this about Landon?” he asked. “I thought you guys weren’t exclusive.”
“We’re not, but we are serious. I love him.”
Michael didn’t blink. “I respect that. But if you still want to be with me, then I want to be with you.”
I dropped my head. “It’s not as simple as that anymore.”
“Why?” He gently took hold of my chin, refusing to let me look away. “It’s that simple for me.”
“It’s not just you, me, or Landon,” I whispered. “This summer, I... I was with...”
“Cole.”
My eyes flared. Michael stroked my chin, his sweet smile still in place.
“I know you hooked up.”
“How?” was all I managed.
“He told me. He felt guilty for being with you when he knew how I felt, but he shouldn’t feel guilty and neither should you. You can hook up with whoever you want. I never had a claim on you.” He found my fingers once more and brought them to his lips. “But I would like to. So tell me... Friday or Saturday?”
“Friday.” The moronic parrot took a holiday. Things were incredibly messy, but I wanted him, and Michael saw me at my worst and wanted me too. Like I said, I wasn’t strong enough to say no that day.
“Seven or eight?”
“Seven.”
“Italian or Greek?”
“Greek.”
Michael was smiling so brightly it was infectious. We stood there giggling at each other like loons—until Landon walked past us.
He took one look at us huddled together holding hands and a muscle in his jaw ticked. He said nothing—just rounded the corner for the stairs and disappeared.
My smile slipped. I was overdue for a talk with him. I had a feeling we wouldn’t be spending lunch eating off each other.
Michael and I headed upstairs hand in hand. The Elite Wing was spotless once again. The only trace of For All was the bare bulletin boards.
I pulled away as we stepped in
front of Mrs. Peterson’s door. I didn’t want to rub our budding relationship in Cole’s and Landon’s faces.
Mrs. Peterson squealed when I walked inside. She hopped out of her desk chair and gave me a hug that wasn’t teacherly, but entirely welcome. She was the only one in the Elite camp who rooted for me from day one.
“It is truly an honor to be your teacher, Zeke,” she said. “I’m looking forward to this year and seeing all that you achieve.”
She spun me around to face the class. “Everyone, this is the newest addition to the Elite scholars, Zeke Manning.”
Adam scrunched up his face in the back and I smothered a laugh.
“We have to jump right in due to this morning’s... delay, but I expect you all to make sure Mr. Manning knows the ropes.” She patted my shoulder. “Zeke, your desk is between Mr. Porter and Mr. Grayson.”
Two rows, ten desks. I headed for the one second from the last and passed Sullivan Porter.
“I’ll show you the fucking rope.”
I halted. Sullivan shot me the filthiest look behind his textbook. “You don’t belong here, F. You and your bitch boy stole Zach’s and Rhys’s places, but trust me, we’ll send you back where you belong.”
I opened my mouth.
“Is something wrong, Zeke?” Mrs. Peterson asked.
I replied without looking at her. “No, ma’am.”
Calmly, I raised my hand, using my body to conceal me flipping him off. “Everything is fine.”
I continued to my desk and met Derek’s look as I set down my things. He put two fingers to his temple and saluted.
“Is this enough space for you?”
THE ROCKY START ASIDE, the rest of the morning went smoothly. Mrs. Peterson went over the syllabus, discussed what she expected of us, then passed out a study guide of lessons we needed to know for the review test—the next day.
“At least I remember most of this from studying for the tournament,” I muttered to myself. I headed out of the wing, seeking lunch. “I wish I had the textbooks.”
“I have them.”
I snapped my head up. When did Cole get here?
“You can borrow mine,” he added.
I tucked the guide to my chest. “Or we could study together.”