by Ruby Vincent
“Because you let me in. I wanted to do the same with you.”
I didn’t need to ask what he meant.
And even though it’s new and complicated... I believe Michael has another piece.
“Hungry?”
“Yes,” I whispered. But neither one of us moved.
“We should eat before it gets cold,” he offered.
“Yeah, we should.”
His eyes traced my face like he wanted to commit every part of me to memory. The thought made me smile and Michael flicked down to my mouth.
Michael slipped his hand out of mine. I mourned the loss for all the time it took for him to take hold of my chin. Slowly, unhurried, Michael kissed me.
His lips were soft on mine. He didn’t push or demand, but the gentle, deliberate pressure made sweet, raging heat burn beneath my skin.
I moaned—just a soft exhalation of breath—and Michael took his chance to deepen the kiss. Our tongues teased and played with each other as the kiss headed into different territory. I cupped the back of his head and drew him on top of me.
His hands traveled the length of my body and he wrapped my legs around his waist. Our moans got louder as we rutted against each other. Michael nipped my bottom lip and I squeaked, laughing through the kiss.
This is what I’m talking about.
I slipped between our bodies and grabbed his belt.
Michael broke the kiss. “Whoa, Zee. Wait.” He caught my hand and pulled it away. “We can’t.”
I blinked up at him. “We can’t? Why? Do you not want to?”
“Fuck no.” He squeezed his eyes shut like he was in pain. “I want to.”
“Then what’s wrong? You’ve been holding back all night, but you don’t have to. I want this. I want you. We won’t have sex but”—I rose and dropped kisses along his jaw—“we can do everything else.”
Michael’s groan rumbled low in his chest. “Fuck, that sounds— But we can’t,” he said. “I want us to take things slow.”
He drew up out of my reach. His chest heaved as he caught his breath and I couldn’t resist splaying my fingers over his heart. It pounded wildly out of control. His lips said slow, but his body told another story.
“I taste sweeter than any dessert you’ve got in that bag.”
Michael’s breathing picked up as his eyes darkened. His control hung on by a thread. The old Zela couldn’t say these things, but Landon and Cole were good teachers. I knew how to make him snap.
“I don’t doubt it,” he rasped, voice husky. “But this is important to me, Zee. We need to take things slow.”
Moving up to his face, I traced the lines around his mouth. “Why?”
“Because I need to know what we have is real.” He caught my hand and kissed the palm. “You’re in love with another guy, and you’re involved with my best friend. But I’m not going to be another hook-up or second-best. I want a real relationship with you, Zela. A real connection that isn’t confused by sex.”
I swallowed, my desire cooling as I took in what he said.
“Michael, you’re already more than a hook-up or second-best to me.”
He smiled—that perfect, breath-stealing smile that weakened my limbs. “Good.”
I smiled back, but it quickly turned teasing. “Are you sure I can’t convince you to put me on my knees on this blanket?”
“I’m sure you could.”
I laughed until he came in for another kiss. Honestly, I wouldn’t push him if this is what he wanted. Every fiber of my being screamed for him, but it wouldn’t be right if we both weren’t ready. I wanted perfect with Michael. When the time came, Michael would not doubt that I cared for him just because he was him.
We eventually stopped making out and sat up to a dinner that was cold, but delicious. Michael fed me French fries and more than my share of the souvlaki. Then he surprised me with sweet, sticky baklava for dessert.
“I heard you mention once that you liked it,” he said as he took it out of the bag. “This will be the best you ever had. I promise.”
“Want to put a bet on it, Young?”
“Yes, I do. What do you want if you win?”
I waggled my eyebrows.
“Fucking hell, woman.”
Laughing, I tipped over and fell onto his chest. “I’m just kidding. If this isn’t the best baklava I’ve ever tasted, then you have to move our running time from five a.m. to six. That’s plenty early to be awake.”
He grunted. “Fine. And if I win... you let me take you out again next weekend.”
“That’s cheating.” I slid my arms around his shoulder as I straddled him. “Now I want to lose.”
I held his gaze as I slowly opened my mouth. Michael placed a sticky treat on my tongue. I uttered a soft sigh of pleasure as I chewed.
“Wow. Not joking. This truly is amazing.” I pecked him on the lips. “You win.”
“Thank you,” he said with a grin. “For the final part of the night, I promised you a show.”
“Are we leaving?” I breathed in the earthy, mossy scent and let it fill me with a calm I rarely felt. “I like it here. It’s so peaceful.”
“It’s about to get even better. Look up, Zee.”
Puzzled, I leaned back and gasped. Flying overhead, dozens of fireflies flitting through the trees, lighting among the branches like Christmas lights. It was the most incredible sight, and their beauty filled me up.
“This is amazing,” I breathed. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice them up there.”
Michael held me to him as he lay back on the blanket.
For a while, we just lay there, watching the fireflies flit through the trees and relaxing with each other. We didn’t talk, but we didn’t need to.
Michael’s finger trailed a slow path up and down my body, a touch incredibly intimate without straying anywhere more interesting. As I lay there with my head resting on his heart, I knew everything I needed to about how he felt about me.
And I felt the same.
Chapter Five
“Things are going really well with you and Michael,” Adam said.
“Yeah.” It wasn’t a question, but I answered anyway. I peeked through my lashes at Michael lacing up his shoes across the court. “We’ve been on four dates so far and each one was better than the last.”
I finished tying my shoes and glanced around for listeners. “But between you and me, this kissing-only thing we’re doing is driving me crazy. You have no idea what it’s like to run behind that boy and not be able to grab his ass.”
“You’re right,” Adam deadpanned. “I don’t.”
I made a face at him. “You don’t know my suffering. You’re getting some.”
His grin turned wicked. “You’re right. I am.”
“Adam, yuck! That’s my cousin you’re talking about.”
I rained swats down on him.
“You brought it up,” he cried, trying to shield himself. “I am getting some. I’m getting a lot.”
“Ah!” I jumped him, climbing his back like a spider monkey. I wrapped my fingers around his neck and shook. “Take it back!”
“Every chance we get!”
“Zeke,” a dry voice interrupted. “Kindly stop strangling Adam and join your team.”
“Sorry, Coach,” I said between giggling.
The truth was I couldn’t be happier that Jordan and Adam were together. Their first date went extremely well. Adam took Jordan to a skating rink and then they walked around the Promenade talking and eating cotton candy. After that, the night ended how she hoped it would. They’ve been out every weekend since, but on the weekdays, Adam sat cuddled up with Melody and disappeared with her after dinner. I was happy it was working with them. I only wished things were as smooth with my boys.
Cole, Michael, and Landon were on the other side of the court warming up for the scrimmage game. They laughed about something that must have been hilarious because Cole rolled off his seat howling. Their friendship was intact despite me, bu
t their relationships with me were a different story.
We were five weeks into the new year and Landon and I still hadn’t had sex. They were piling on so much work to prep us for standardized tests that we hardly had time to eat or sleep, let alone study. On the weekends, he was either out of town modeling for Declan or volunteering at a teen center outside of Evergreen.
While I had my plate full with my regular homework, extra assignments from Mrs. Peterson, shadowing her university colleagues, and fulfilling my promise to help students win their battles. I signed up to be a tutor to tackle the academic side, and spent the rest of the evening on a field, court, or mat working on the physical battles.
We both agreed we didn’t want our first time together to be rushed, so we kept waiting for the right time. And waiting... and waiting... and waiting.
Between that, Michael’s insistence that we take things slow, and Cole fighting his attraction for me like hooking up would kill him, it had been a stressful few weeks with no relief.
I let my best friend up but he grabbed me as I jogged off.
He curled me in his arm and kissed my temple. “You won’t have to wait long,” he whispered. “Michael is crazy about you. Anyone can see that.”
I leaned back and pecked his cheek. “Thanks.”
We split up and went to our teams. Cole, Michael, Landon, and Derek gave me a funny look as I ran up.
“What?” I asked, slowing down. “What is it?”
Cole’s face crumpled in a scowl. “What were you and Moon kissing about?”
“I thought you said you were just friends,” Michael added.
Landon nodded along. “The guy is always all over Zee.”
I ping-ponged between them, not knowing what to make of this.
“Tell me about it,” Derek said under his breath.
“Don’t you start,” I snapped at him.
Chuckling, he jogged onto the court and left me to the rest of the jealous crew.
Planting my hands on my hips, I shook my head at them. “If you want to know, we were kissing about my sexual frustration. So, if you want us to stop... you know what to do.”
I turned my back on triple looks of shock and ran off to get in position behind Derek.
Playing sports at the Elite level was intense, especially when you played against Lars, Jose, Sullivan, and Wyatt.
I raced down the court, weaving through bodies friendly and foe. The hoop loomed in front of me. I skidded to a stop and raised the ball—
Someone streaked across my vision and pain exploded in my hand. I cried out, losing my hold, and Sullivan followed his vicious smack by snatching the ball on the first bounce and beating to the other side of the court.
“Zee.”
Derek stopped everything and ran over to me.
“Are you okay?”
I quickly stopped nursing my hand. “I’m fine. Don’t do anything,” I added, catching the look he shot at Sully’s back.
“I’m not going to do anything. I know by now that you can take care of yourself.” He jerked his chin down the court. “That fucker thinks you don’t belong with us. Prove him wrong.”
I couldn’t help it. I smiled. “I will.”
We rejoined the game as Landon ran. He faked like he was going to shoot and Jose sailed through the air trying to catch nothing. Landon passed me the ball and I made the shot with the most satisfying swish.
Derek grinned as he ran backward across the court. “Good to see those practices weren’t a waste.”
“You’re not taking the credit,” I called. “That was all me.”
His laughter bounced off the walls and filled my ears. It had been a while since we laughed. It had been a while period.
My smile dimmed as I fixed on the back of his head.
Day after day, sitting two feet from each other but never talking or reading or putting up with his moods. This isn’t what I want.
The game played on until we were fourteen and fourteen. Derek was without question the best basketballer in the group which is why the other team had three guys on him at all times. He struggled to find a way out amid the waving hands in his face.
“Derek!” I shouted. I ran around the fringes of the group. “I’m open!”
Sullivan broke off like that was his cue. He barreled toward me, hands out, instead of up, and I braced myself to be fouled. The next thing I knew, Adam was in front of me and Sully was on the floor.
“Ow! What the fuck?!” Sullivan bellowed. “You’re on my team!”
“Sorry, man,” Adam said mildly. “I was trying to cover Derek and you came out of nowhere.”
“Coach!”
Singh wasn’t having it. “Stop whining, Porter, and get in the game!”
I was off before the boy got his bearings. The hole he left allowed Derek a chance and I caught the basketball as it sailed over Adam’s head.
Jose came running at me. I twisted out of the way and kept going. The rapid thump, thump, thump of the basketball didn’t mask the streaks and pounding of the team chasing me down.
I reared up, my feet hovering inches off the floor, and threw the ball in a perfect arch that I knew would make it before my feet hit the ground.
A sharp screech cut through the gym. “Nice job, Manning! Red team wins!”
Shrieking, I jumped up and down giving into the high.
“Nice, Z—”
I spun on Derek and threw my arms around him. “Did you see?” I squealed. “I did the move you taught me. That was the first time I got it!”
His breath was warm on my ear as he chuckled. “Well, you were going up against an inferior player. My moves work on everyone but me, Zee.”
I laughed. “Very true. Going up against you always reminds me of how much I suck.”
“You don’t suck. You’re amazing.” Arms encircled my waist. “I knew you’d embarrass the shit out of Sullivan.”
Alarm bells clanged in my mind as Derek pulled me closer. I scrambled out of his hold.
Clearing my throat, I put a respectable distance between us. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“How long are you going to hold out?” Amusement shone clearly in his eyes. “You miss me. It’s obvious.”
“Like I said before,” I replied. “This stops when you let it.”
“Okay. If it’s up to me, come by my room tonight and we’ll watch a movie.” He backed away. “If you don’t, I’m going to start thinking you don’t like me at all. It’ll really hurt my feelings. It may even take me another four years to trust again.”
I clenched my fists. I was stuck between the urge to tell him I would always care about him and the urge to knock him upside the head for emotionally blackmailing me. I loved my brother, but the 666 was tattooed on his scalp, not Christina’s.
Derek winked like he could read my thoughts. “See you after dinner.”
Shaking my head, I walked over to get my stuff and head back to the dorm. I had to shower and then go to tutoring. I caught Cole on the way to the locker room. He was the last one to go because I suspect he was watching my exchange with Derek.
He narrowed his eyes on me as I stepped into his path.
“I’m going to take a shower,” I announced.
“Okaayyyyy...”
“Want to do something about my sexual frustration?”
Cole dropped the scowl immediately. He licked his lips as he looked me up and down, no doubt recalling our previous sudsy escapades.
He shook himself. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“We have tutoring.”
I closed the distance between us and felt no small amount of pleasure at seeing him stiffen. “We can be late,” I whispered. “I have this new cherry shampoo. You can wash my hair with it while my hands are busy with... something else.”
Cole’s knuckles turned white as his grip on his gym bag tightened. “This isn’t going to work, Zee.”
“It’s already working, Cole.” Smirking, I lowered my eyes to the
obvious bulge in his pants. “You have five seconds to make up your mind before I take blowjobs off the table.”
“Resorting to ultimatums?” he hissed.
“They seem to work around here.”
“Zee—”
“Five, four, three—”
“Fuck!”
I yelped as he snatched my hand and raced us out of the gym. We tripped on the stairs twice running up and collected strange looks from guys loitering in the hallway when we burst through and hurried to my room. We started tearing off our clothes before the door swung shut.
Cole and I were both very late for tutoring. We ambled into the library, mumbling apologies to the class advisor, and found our tutorees waiting for us in the back.
“Hi, Zee.” Maddox Dane, one of my former F classmates, pushed his textbook across the table as I sat down. “Help.”
“That’s why I’m here, my friend.” I took out my notebook and got to work. “Rational expressions aren’t so bad. You first need to...”
Maddox listened intently as I explained how to solve the math problems. When he was working quietly on the first one, I glanced at Cole.
He’s so cute with that serious look on his face. He’s even cuter laughing as I shampoo his hair into crazy styles.
Cole glanced up and our eyes met. I waved, a grin on my lips as I thought of what we got up to, and was treated to his cheeks pinking and his glare returning full force as he dropped his head.
Either way, he’s cute.
“After this, will you help me with wrestling?” asked Maddow. “I want to challenge Bertram from the D Class for his SAT prep slot and he chooses wrestling every time.”
“Sure, I’ll help,” I replied without having to think about it. All students had access to after-school SAT prep, but because this was Breakbattle, Fs were limited to one hour, once a week. “I can give you an hour after tutoring. Does that work?”
He beamed. “You’re the best, Zeke. The only decent Elite in this whole place.”
“Can’t get the F out of me that quickly.”
We finished going over his homework and moved the tutoring to the wrestling gym. Afterward, he shouted thanks at me as we went our separate ways.