by Ruby Vincent
I made a soft noise in my throat. “I might like being in trouble.”
His grin was wolfish. “You’d definitely like—”
“What’s taking so long?” Christina stuck her arm out and pounded on the door. “Hurry up, Chubs.”
We snuck a quick kiss and then piled in the car. Christina blasted her music the whole ride while Cole and I traded glances and smiles in the mirror. It was amazing how relaxed he was away from school.
Cole’s parents were home. They invited us to hang out with them.
“How about a game of pool?” his dad asked. “We can knock out a few rounds in the game room.”
“Can’t, dad.” Cole backed away, tugging me. “There’s something I have to show Zeke... in my room.”
“Well, come spend time with your family afterward,” his mom called.
“Okay.”
We spun and bolted up the stairs. We were partway up before we noticed we picked up a third wheel. Toby bounded up the stairs, tail wagging furiously.
“Toby, no!”
He shot through us and knocked us aside like bowling pins. He was comfortable on Cole’s bed when we made it to the room.
Cole ordered him out and then came for me before I could get my shirt over my head. We fooled around under his sheets, ignoring when Christina knocked on the door, and indulged a private moment just the two of us.
Afterward, I curled up on his chest and enjoyed the feel of him swirling small circles on my bare back.
“How was your Christmas?’ I asked after a while.
“Not bad. Christina got me a fender.”
“What? A real one?”
“Oh, yeah. That’s my sister.”
I laughed. “She’s really great.”
“What is it about you that you’re drawn to the evil?”
I ran my finger up and down his chest. “I’m drawn to you, so what does that say?”
“We’ve established that I’m an asshole.”
“You’re not,” I whispered. “You’re just... Cole.”
We were quiet for a little while. I was so content under those covers with him, I let my eyes drift shut. We had never slept together. Right then, I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and wake in his arms.
“You know I want to be with you, don’t you, Zela?”
My eyes opened slowly. I held still—not breathing.
“You probably believe it should be easy. You’re okay with it. Landon is okay with it. And Michael says he’s okay with it. But it’s not that simple.”
“Why?” I whispered.
Cole moved to my hair. My eyes closed again as he played with it.
“Michael doesn’t always say what he wants. I mean, he doesn’t say what he really wants. He doesn’t want to hurt the people he loves, so he gives in. Unfortunately, I’m his best friend, so when I went full dick and dropped Landon and Adam, he did too because he thought I’d drop him too. He didn’t admit it, of course, and he still says he’s not mad about what went down in middle school, but who wouldn’t be?”
I nodded. “You think that because he wants us both, he’s pretending he’s okay with me dating you too.”
“Yes,” he stated clearly. “It’s not easy getting the truth out of him when he thinks it’s going to hurt me, but I have to before there can be an us.”
His words squeezed my heart even while his hand teased ripples throughout my body.
“I understand.”
He sighed. “I was supposed to stay away from you while I figured it out but you’ve made that impossible.”
I cracked a smile. “You’re blaming me? Who is the one who had to show me something in his room?”
“Did you like how subtle I was?”
Shaking my head, I chuckled. Cole called himself an asshole, but the guy could make me laugh.
“Do you really have to go?”
“Yes,” I replied. “Derek is picking me up in thirty minutes.”
“You said one day you would tell me what’s up with you two.”
“I will”—I swung my leg over and climbed on top of him—“but not today. We have thirty minutes left. How will we fill up our time?”
“I have a few ideas.”
“BYE, MR. AND MRS. COLE. Bye, Christina.”
“Bye!” someone shouted from the depths of the house.
Cole kissed me and I took off running down the front steps to Derek’s idling car.
“What do you see in that guy?” Derek asked.
I made sure he saw my eyeroll before I buckled up. “You’ve asked that about Landon and Michael too.”
“Because I want to know.”
“Why?”
“They don’t deserve you, Zela.”
“Then who does?”
Derek met my gaze. He didn’t say anything, but something in those enigmatic orbs made me look away. For some reason, I felt like I said the wrong thing.
“Landon is sweet,” I said faintly. “He does things like surprise me with my favorite ice cream and tells me I’m beautiful even when I’m wearing a rumpled uniform and itchy wig. Michael looks up obscure math problems just so we can talk about them. He was there for me at my lowest and never once judged me or made me feel like there was something wrong with me. And Cole...”
I looked over at the boy still standing on the steps. “He’s one of those people that doesn’t know the right thing to say or do, but yet he puts a smile on my face without really trying.” I drifted back to Derek. “And that’s only a few things. I could go on all day.”
“So all three of them,” he said.
I nodded. “It’ll take time, but yes. I know we’ll work it out.”
Derek turned away. “Okay.”
There was a strange atmosphere in the car on the ride to his house. I sensed it. I thought of things to say to break it.
I kept my mouth shut. Warning bells rang in my mind. Things were good between us right now; I didn’t want to mess with it.
We passed through the gates and two guards at the front door to get into his house. One of them peeled off and followed us upstairs to Derek’s room.
Every time I walked inside, I marveled that he truly lived like this. I went to the center of the room and spun around. The bookshelves covering every square inch of the walls swirled in my vision. Books reached the ceiling. Books covered his bed. Books spilled out of his desk.
Not to say his room was messy. All of his books were stacked or shelved around his opulent room according a system only he knew.
Derek snatched a book off his pillow and flopped onto his bed. He patted the spot next to him. “Grab a book. Mom will be by soon to call us down for lunch.”
I claimed my spot and my book. “Thank you for doing this, Derek. You know I appreciate it, right?”
“Yeah.”
“It hasn’t been easy on you,” I continued. “But you’ve supported me anyway. I couldn’t ask for a better brother.”
Derek smiled lopsidedly. “You could definitely ask for a better one.”
I wasn’t sure what to do with that. “I’m trying to have a moment with you, Grayson.”
“I know what you’re trying to do, Zela.” His tone lost the joking lilt. “And I’m not going along. I won’t say I’m the best big brother ever or call him our dad.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
The warning bells went off again. I should stop. Leave it alone.
I didn’t listen. “You said you would let this go.”
“No, you said I would let this go. I promised I wouldn’t dig into your mom’s past anymore, and I haven’t, but there’s someone else, Zela. I’m not your brother.”
Anger flared up fierce and corrosive. “Yes, you are!”
“No,” he said calmly. “I’m not. I can feel it. And you feel it too. You just don’t want it to be true.”
“Don’t tell me how I feel.”
“Don’t tell me not to feel.”
I glared at him, chest tight w
ith all the things I wanted to shout at him. He couldn’t have romantic feelings for me. Why was he fighting this? His need to be right would crush him in the end. It would destroy him and us.
Someone knocked on the door. “Derek, darling.”
We didn’t break our eye lock.
“It’s time for lunch, sweetie. Chef made your favorite.”
Derek tossed the book at the end of the bed and slid off. He didn’t look away from me the whole time. “Coming, Mom.”
He strode the door and left without waiting. My guard companion didn’t. He escorted me to the small dining room and we sat to a tense lunch of stilted conversation, angry glares out of the corner of our eyes, odd looks from Naomi, and turkey bacon clubs.
“Is everything okay with you two?” she asked.
“We’re fine, Mom.” Derek pushed aside his half-eaten sandwich and picked at his salad.
“Doesn’t look like it.”
I sat up straight as Jonathan breezed into the dining room. He bent to kiss his wife and then gave us both a look.
“You got into a fight.” He wasn’t asking. “I know just the thing. Finish up lunch and we’ll go outside.”
“We can’t play this one out, Dad.”
“Won’t know until you try.”
Jonathan urged us to finish eating and then dragged us out. December brought a chill in the air, but the sun shone bright enough on the basketball court to make it bearable.
Jonathan tossed me the ball. “First to ten wins. You have until then to be angry about whatever you’re angry about. Then you let it go.”
Derek and I shared a look over the white lines. Let go that he has feelings for me? Let go that he won’t accept he’s my brother?
Jonathan retrieved the ball and tossed it in the air. Sailing above my head, Derek tipped it to his side. So began the strangest one on one match Derek and I ever had.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. What was I trying to win? A few baskets wouldn’t fix things. Derek seemed to know that because he had never been more off his game. He missed easy shots, threw the ball out of bounds, and didn’t fight to steal it back.
I sank my fourth shot and dove for the ball at the same time Derek did. The next thing I knew, he crashed into me and we went down. The air punched out of my lungs as Derek fell on top of me.
“Zee? Zee, are you okay?!” He scrambled off and bent over me. Concern was etched into the lines of his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I swear, I tripped.”
“I-I’ll be there,” I forced out.
“What?” He picked up my head and pulled me closer.
“I’ll be there... for you,” I whispered in his ear. “When you’re forced to accept the truth and it threatens to rip you apart. When pain leaks into every part of you and you can’t breathe for it. I’ll be there for you through everything like you were there for me. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
Something flickered in his eyes. It was gone so fast it’s possible I imagined it, but all that mattered was what he saw in mine. I wanted him to be my brother on my terms and that’s not how it works with him. Derek would have to get there on his own.
“Let’s drop it,” he said. “Or Dad will make us play again.”
“You alright, Zeke?” Jonathan called.
Derek helped me to my feet. “I’m fine. Why don’t you play with us?”
“You boys good?”
We shared a look.
“We’re good,” we replied.
Chapter Eight
“Seems like things are getting worse.”
Adam swiveled in my desk chair. Side to side. Round and round. He spoke more at me than to me.
“She’s been texting me all morning. Lucia and Malcolm walked into class hanging off of each other’s lips and her friends are taking Lucia’s side.”
My shirt crumpled in my fist. “I know. She told me the same. They said Jordan has already moved on to someone else so she should let it go. They’re tired of the drama. I hate that she is over there facing those assholes alone.”
“Why didn’t your aunt let her transfer to Breakbattle?”
“Because she wanted Jordan to go to school with her wonderful friends. Isn’t that ironic?”
Adam’s head fell back against the chair. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“You can.” I gave up on unpacking and perched on the edge of my mattress. “Get her out of Chesterfield this weekend. She’ll feel insanely better just spending time with you.”
He cracked a smile. “I can do that.”
I reached for him and Adam took my hand.
“What are you going to do?” he asked.
“My mission is the same. Stop the expansion and Cameron.”
“I’m with you.” Adam suddenly pulled a face. “Speaking of Cameron, have you noticed...?”
“That he has been off lately,” I finished.
He nodded. “Can’t complain. Cameron’s been quiet lately. Him and Santiago, Heath, and the rest of them. They’re seniors now. Maybe they realized there are more important things than the war they started with you.”
“Maybe,” I agreed. “It doesn’t change that he’s still working to make the expansion happen. Derek told me there have been more dinners and golf games since the fundraiser.”
“What if what we’re doing isn’t enough?”
“It has to be.”
Adam heaved himself out of the chair. “Then tomorrow we’re back at it. First day of the new semester, the Battle Doctor is in.”
I laughed. “I kinda like that.”
My best friend dropped a kiss on my head and then left for his dorm. I reached for the phone immediately after he was gone. I needed to check on Jordan.
The next day, I walked up to the lunch line and picked up a tray. I turned and bounced off a hard body.
“You got Whittaker to back you up.”
I took a deep breath and held it. Zach being pissed was inevitable, but I was long past tired of this guy getting in my face.
“What do you mean?” I stepped back, putting distance between me and Zach, Rhys, and Sully. “He’s the principal. He doesn’t back students up. He makes the rules. Whittaker says there’s nothing wrong with us helping the other students.”
Rhys snapped, “He said that because his head is so far up the board’s ass, he wears them like a hat. If he wasn’t trying to impress them, he would have sided with us.”
I smiled mirthlessly. “But he didn’t.”
“Is there a problem here, guys?”
Suddenly, I went from staring down Zach to my nose in Maddox’s back.
“This has nothing to do with you, F!”
Maddox laughed. “You know, I’m really getting tired of you calling me an F like it’s an insult. You’re in the same class, dick.”
“You and I will never be in the same fucking class,” hissed Zach.
“Whatever, man. Just back off Zeke. We’re not letting you fuck with him.”
A nasty laugh slipped into my ears and made me cringe. “We?”
“Yes. We,” said another voice.
I poked my head around Maddox.
At Zach’s back was Mitch, Daxton, Marco, Tanner, Nico, and a bunch of other guys I helped train for battles. I don’t know how they assembled so fast, but Zach’s smirk vanished in a flash.
“What the hell do you think you’re going to do?” Sully asked.
Maddox shrugged. “The same thing we’ve been doing. Coming for your precious privileges. Matter of fact, I heard there’s a welcome back movie night for the Bs, As, and Elites. I think we’d like to crash that. What do you say, boys?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“For sure.”
“Movie night sounds fun.”
Zach’s face flushed an alarming shade of purple. “Manning and Moon aren’t helping you cheat anymore!”
Maddox stepped up to him. “Stop them. Go ahead,” he taunted. “Do something about it, Fields.”
The boys glanced around the pack penning them in. They weren’t the only ones. The entire cafeteria had fallen silent.
“Fuck this!” Zach shoved through the boys and stormed off. Rhys and Sully were right behind him.
“We got your back, Zeke.” Maddox and the boys proved it by escorting me through the lunch line and then to my table.
Amazing, I thought as I watched them walk off. The lower classmen are fighting back.
AFTER CLASSES, I RAN up to my dorm to shower and change. I was thrown right in it. A lot of the guys made good on their threat to challenge for spots at the movie night which meant they needed the Battle Doctor now.
A C named Peirce was meeting me and the new volunteer assistant coach in the basketball gym. It was pretty smart of Whittaker to offer University students credit and job experience in exchange for volunteering at one of the best schools in the country. The guy just had to be there to make sure I wasn’t giving advice that could result in a snapped neck, but Assistant Coach Wilson seemed decent and if he joined in and helped even better. I wanted my lower classmen to win.
I jogged down the empty hallway, mind spinning with basketball moves and drills.
“Fuck you!”
I stopped. Where did that come from?
“—over it.”
My eyes fixed on Cameron’s door just as a hard thump shook the wood. I took off running.
“Cameron?! Cameron, are you okay?!” I rattled the doorknob. “Cameron! Who’s in there with you?!”
“I’m fine!” a voice that could only be Cameron’s shouted back. “Go away!”
“Open the door, Cameron.”
“I said leave!”
I didn’t listen. I pushed harder on the door, twisting the knob and trying to get in. I heard nothing else from Cameron during my struggle, and eventually, I gave up. I wasn’t getting in and he wasn’t opening the door.
My mind was on Cameron all through basketball practice. What is going on with him?
THE FIRST MONTH OF school passed quickly, but not quietly. Me, Adam, Cole, Landon, Michael and Derek had our hands full offering battle tutoring. The boys were happy to let me do my thing until the resentment brewing among the upper classmen began to reach a boiling point.