by Mark Epstein
abuse, 52
sexual, 142–45, 174
acceptance, 66
Action, Right, 8, 9, 52, 65, 85–103, 105
addictions, 52
advice, 15–18, 19, 31, 71, 122, 145–46
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), 142, 145
anger, 47, 56, 62, 88, 120, 121
rage, 46, 68–69
Angulimala, 114–16, 119–22
anorexia, 60–61, 127–29
anxiety, 47, 52, 75, 77, 88, 93–94, 96, 134, 135, 138–40
concentration and, 172
conversion hysteria, 174, 177–78, 184
meditation-induced, 151–52
panic attacks, 96, 177–79, 184
artists, 29
ascetics, 127
athletes, 124–25, 138–39
attention, 124, 126, 146, 149, 153
to child, 128
concentration, see concentration
of therapist to patient, 125–26, 128, 140
awareness, 161
backward step, 88
Barsky, Richard, 120
Beckett, Samuel, 74, 75, 78, 82, 85, 125
Bennett-Goleman, Tara, 48–51, 55
bhikkhus, 108–10
Bion, W. R., 125, 126
birth, 37
blame, 106, 108, 122, 130, 132, 165–66, 168
Bodh Gaya, 42
Bodhidharma, 93–94, 97
body, 25, 67, 69, 134
concentration and, 171
emotions and, 95, 174
body-centered therapy, 95
brain, 163–64, 171, 185
breath, 20–21, 69, 154, 170, 172–73, 179–82, 184–86
Brown, Charlie, 71
Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama), ix, 3, 8–9, 12–13, 15, 20, 42, 136, 140, 158, 159, 167, 177
Angulimala and, 114–16, 119–22
arrows shot at, 121–22
awakening of, 7
on concentration, 171
ego and, 7, 121, 122
fire sermon of, 32
life story of, 6–7, 98
on mindfulness, 150
ordained followers of, 108–10
“right” as used by, 35
Right Effort and, 127
Right Livelihood and, 105–6
sculptures of, 33–34
Sona and, 123–24, 126
Buddhism, 3–18, 45, 52, 55, 134, 189–91
author’s pursuit of, 12–14, 37–39, 172, 175
“divine” state of mind in, 138–40
ego in, 8
Eightfold Path in, see Eightfold Path
flirtation and, 97
Japanese, 88
and letting go, 88, 102
mindfulness in, 150, 151
mirror as central image in, 6
psychotherapy and, 54–58, 68, 87, 94, 96, 109, 191
on Right View, 23–24
Theravada, 55
Tibetan, 55
in West, 155–56, 175, 189
Zen, 93–94, 187
Buddhist stories:
Bodhidharma and Huike, 93–94, 97
Buddha and Angulimala, 114–16, 119–22
Buddha and arrows, 121–22
Buddha and Sona, 123–24, 126
monk and old man, 7–8, 11
two monks crossing a river, 102–3
Bui, Phong, 121–22
Cage, John, 45
change, see impermanence
childhood, 55, 189
“good enough,” 53, 56, 58, 63, 68, 128
children:
attention given to, 128
emotions of, 53–55, 63, 68–69
rage in, 46, 68–69
Columbia University, 55
comfort zones, 94
compassion, 113, 138–40
wisdom and, 51–52
compulsive behaviors, 133–35
concentration, 28–29
Buddha on, 171
impermanence and, 169–70, 177
in meditation, 20, 27, 29, 169–70, 176
Right, 8, 9, 52, 169–88
self-esteem and, 172
as stress reduction technique, 171–72
connection, 184
consciousness, 6
conversion hysteria, 174, 177–78, 184
Copernicus, Nicolaus, 5
Dalai Lama, 10–11, 55
hermit and, 9–12, 27, 43, 110
physician of, 151
Darwin, Charles, 5
death, 24, 26, 27, 30–34, 36–37, 39, 80, 158
meditation and, 36–37
of parents, 70, 81
Zen poems and, 187
depression, 180–84
desire, 92, 183, 184
dharma, 15, 36, 42–43, 48, 93
Dipa Ma, 72–74, 76–77
disasters, 80, 81
disgrace, 106, 108, 122
dissociation, 24, 174, 184
“divine” state of mind, 138–40
doubt, 62
dreams, 1, 54
author’s, 45–47, 54, 56, 67
Freud and, 3, 4
eating, 86, 154
Effort, Right, 8, 9, 52, 123–47, 150, 184
ego, 1–12, 18, 86, 97, 110, 120, 123, 155, 160, 189–92
of analyst, 126
awakening and, 8
Buddha and, 7, 121, 122
in Buddhism, 8
control over impulses of, 145–47
Dalai Lama on, 10
dissociation and, 24
“divine” properties and, 138
Freud’s view of, 5–6
impermanence and, 159
meditation and, 10
mindfulness and, 151, 158, 159
sexual intercourse and, 95
Eightfold Path, 8–9, 17–18, 27, 36, 191
“right” as used in, 34–35
Right Action, 8, 9, 52, 65, 85–103, 105
Right Concentration, 8, 9, 52, 169–88
Right Effort, 8, 9, 52, 123–47, 150, 184
Right Livelihood (Right Living; Right Relationship), 8, 9, 52, 65, 105–22
Right Mindfulness, 8, 9, 52, 149–68
Right Motivation (Right Intention; Right Thought; Right Understanding), 8, 9, 41–63
Right Speech, 8, 9, 52, 65–83, 85, 105
Right View, 8, 9, 19–39, 58, 173
wisdom and compassion in, 51–52
eight worldly concerns, 106–8
emotions, 62–63, 120, 145
anger, see anger
body and, 95, 174
of children, 53–55, 63, 68–69
“divine,” 138–40
equilibrium in, 140
grief, see grief
letting go of, 88
meditation and, 54, 59, 61–63, 72
mindfulness and, 69, 136
naming, 134–36
observing, 67–68
as problems, 72–73
separating stories from, 32, 34, 73
empathy, 139, 158
energy, 124
Engler, Jack, 42–44, 50
envy, 120
Epstein, Mark:
Buddhism pursued by, 12–14, 37–39, 172, 175
dreams of, 45–47, 54, 56, 67
father of, 79, 80, 82, 112, 186–87
mother of, see Epstein, Sherrie
on retreats, 13, 15, 28, 31, 35, 38, 55, 151, 155, 156, 161–67, 172–75, 178–79, 184–88
wife of, see Shechet, Arlene
Epstein, Sherrie, 79–83, 163, 166–67
equanimity, 138–40
eroti
c, 92, 185
ethics, 85–86, 87, 105–6, 109
Faith (Salzberg), 69, 71
fame, 106–8, 122
fatigue, 62
flirtation, 96–97, 103
flow, 29
forest surrounding a castle, 98, 103
forgetting, 152
forgiveness, 131–32, 156–57, 159, 160, 166, 168
free association, 4, 65, 89
Freud, Sigmund, 3–6, 12, 14, 53–54, 63, 71–72, 94, 154
on analysts, 125–28
ego as viewed by, 5–6
Reich and, 95
From, Isadore, 89–90, 95
future, 20, 28, 153
gain (profit), 106, 107, 122
Gestalt therapy, 95
Glück, Louise, 97–98
Goldstein, Joseph, 29–36, 38, 42, 43, 48, 109
Goleman, Daniel, 48–51, 55
Good Morning America, 177
gratitude, 186
grief, 32, 34, 70, 79, 82
five-stage model of, 81–82
happiness, 106, 190
Harris, Dan, 177–80, 184
“Hate in the Counter-Transference” (Winnicott), 55–57
Huike, 93–94, 97
humility, 101, 113
immediate gratification, 86
impermanence (change), 5, 20, 23–24, 32, 37, 58, 80, 106, 159
concentration and, 169–70, 177
desire to conquer, 176–77
ego and, 159
meditation and, 36, 44
mindfulness and, 27–28, 158
impulses, control over, 145–47
infant(s), 46, 54, 137, 159
hatred toward, 55–57, 63
Insight Meditation Society, 55
Intention, Right, see Right Motivation
jealousy, 120
joy, sympathetic, 138–40
Kabat-Zinn, Jon, 156
kindness, 138–40
Kornfield, Jack, 38–39, 160
Kozan Ichikyo, 187
Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, 81
letting go, 88, 102
and being right, 120–21, 131, 147
Livelihood, Right (Right Living), 8, 9, 52, 65, 105–22
loss, 26, 27, 67, 80, 82, 106–8, 122
love, 71, 173, 175, 176
lust, 62, 92
macrocosm and microcosm, 23, 26
Mara, 7
materialism, 127
meditation, 3–6, 9, 10, 12–15, 18, 19–29, 34–38, 43, 45, 47, 58, 131, 132, 136, 137, 154–55, 180–84
anxiety induced by, 151–52
author’s experience of, 172–73
body and, 25, 67
breath in, 20–21, 172–73, 181–82, 184–85
change and, 36, 44
concentration in, 20, 27, 29, 169–70, 176
Dalai Lama on, 10
death and, 36–37
“divine” properties and, 138–40
ego and, 10
emotions and, 54, 59, 61–63, 72
and letting go, 88
marketing of, 28
mindfulness and, 20–21, 150–52
Open Center workshop and, 48–52
as practice, 190
psychotherapy and, 19, 22–23, 28, 72
Right View and, 19–20, 26
sounds and, 25–26
and staying with an experience, 66–67
as stress-reduction technique, 4, 22, 23, 28, 48–49, 55
superficial attainments of, 109–10
walking, 164
in Western culture, 28
Western scientists’ study of, 171
mendicants, 108–10
microcosm and macrocosm, 23, 26
Miller, Michael Vincent, 97
mind, map of, 13
mindfulness, 4–6, 14, 136, 137
aggressive approach to, 152
Buddha on, 150
developing, 160
ego and, 151, 158, 159
emotions and, 69, 136
fixation on, 151
as goal, 153–54
impermanence and, 27–28, 158
as introductory technique, 150
meditation and, 20–21, 150–52
Right, 8, 9, 52, 149–68
as stress reduction technique, 155, 156, 158
use of term, 152
in West, 149–50, 152, 155–57
mind waves, 189–92
mirror, 6
money, 107
psychotherapy and, 107
Right Livelihood, 8, 9, 52, 65, 105–22
morality, 85–86, 105–6
mother, 159
breastfeeding by, 137
“good enough,” 53, 56, 58, 63, 68, 128
hatred in, 55–57, 63
as metaphor for divine properties, 139
see also parents
motivation, 43, 44, 52, 109
Right, 8, 9, 41–63
Munindra, 42–44, 49, 50, 59, 72, 110
music, musicians, 123–24, 126, 132, 176
Naropa Institute, 38, 68
Nemiah, John, 173–75, 177–78, 184
nervous system, 171
neuroses, 41, 43, 95, 189
New York Open Center, 48–52, 56, 113
New York Times, 49
On Death and Dying (Kübler-Ross), 81
Open Center, 48–52, 56, 113
oral rage, 46
orgasm, 95
pain, 106–8, 122
panic attacks, 96, 177–79, 184
parents:
death of, 70, 81
forgiveness of, 131–32, 156–57, 159, 160, 166, 168
“good enough,” 53, 56, 58, 63, 68, 128
imperfection of, 131–32
see also mother
past, 20, 28, 153
Peanuts (Schulz), 71
Perls, Fritz, 95
pleasure, 106, 107, 122, 158
praise, 106, 107, 122
present, 20, 25, 153
pride, 120, 121
privilege, sense of, 116, 120
profit (gain), 106, 107, 122
Prozac, 28
psychotherapist, 86–88, 140
attention of, 125–26, 128, 140
experience of being, 125–26
Freud on, 125–28
money and, 107
treatment sabotaged by, 137
trust in, 86–87
psychotherapy, 3, 4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 14, 23, 43, 45, 63, 94, 122, 154–55, 189–91
assumptions created by, 132
Buddhism and, 54–58, 68, 87, 94, 96, 109, 191
flirtation and, 97
meditation and, 19, 22–23, 28, 72
money and, 107
Right Action and, 86
Right Effort and, 140
self-reflection in, 4
showing up for, 71, 73
as slow process, 86–87
trusting relationship in, 86–87
Reich, Wilhelm, 94–97
Relationship, Right, see Right Livelihood
resentment, 103, 114, 116, 119–20, 122, 157, 160
resignation, 66
retreats, 16–17, 31, 36, 176, 178–80
author on, 13, 15, 28, 31, 35, 38, 55, 151, 155, 156, 161–67, 172–75, 178–79, 184–88
“right,” 34–35
Right Action, 8, 9, 52, 65, 85–103, 105
Right Concentration, 8, 9, 52, 169–88
Right Effort, 8, 9, 52, 123–47, 150, 184
Right Livelihood (Right Living; Right Relationship), 8, 9, 52, 65, 105–22
Right Mindfulness, 8, 9, 52, 149–68
Right Motivation (Right Intention; Right Thought; Right Understanding), 8, 9, 41–63
Right Speech, 8, 9, 52, 65–83, 85, 105
Right View, 8, 9, 19–39, 58, 173
Salzberg, Sharon, 55, 68–74, 76, 79, 82
San Francisco Zen Center, 189
sati, 152
self, 2, 23, 29, 159
comparing others with, 120
creative process and, 29
uniting with idealized “other,” 176–77
self-awareness, 136
self-criticism, 108, 130, 132
self-denial, 127–28
self-esteem and self-confidence, 2–4, 107, 172
self-grasping, 8
selfishness, 109, 159, 160, 170, 191
self-reflection, 4, 154
self-talk and stories, 32, 34, 65–83, 87–88, 101, 134, 154, 173
senses, 26, 127–28, 176
separation, 27, 47, 53, 58, 67, 80, 133–36, 138, 139, 158
sex, 92, 95, 96, 107, 158, 176
sexual abuse, 142–45, 174
Shechet, Arlene, 29–36, 43, 44–45, 47, 48, 67–68, 118–20
sloth and torpor, 62
Sona, 123–24, 126
sounds, 25–26, 170
Speech, Right, 8, 9, 52, 65–83, 85, 105
Springsteen, Bruce, 131–32, 135, 145
stories we tell ourselves, 32, 34, 65–83, 87–88, 101, 134, 154, 173
stress:
concentration and, 171–72
meditation and, 4, 22, 23, 28, 48–49, 55
mindfulness and, 155, 156, 158
post-traumatic, 80, 174
striving, 37, 93, 152, 187
subconscious, unconscious, 5, 41, 170, 174–75
suffering, 4, 11, 12, 82, 158
craving and, 92
resistance to, 81
surrender, 3, 20, 170
Suzuki Roshi, 189–92
“Sword in the Stone, The” (Glück), 97–98
sympathetic joy, 138–40
10% Happier (Harris), 179
therapy, see psychotherapy
Thiên Mụ Pagoda, 121
thought(s), 24–25
being lost in, 152, 154
letting go of, 88
obsessive, uncomfortable, and unwanted, 89, 91, 92
of past and future, 20, 28, 153
repetitive, 41, 66, 77, 87, 134, 168, 169, 172
Right, see Right Motivation
stories we tell ourselves, 32, 34, 65–83, 87–88, 101, 134, 154, 173
Thurman, Robert, 54–55, 68
trauma, 24, 74, 79–82, 132, 152–53
stress following, 80, 174
unconscious, subconscious, 5, 41, 170, 174–75
Understanding, Right, see Right Motivation
University of Massachusetts Medical Center, 156
View, Right, 8, 9, 19–39, 58, 173
waves, 189–92
Where’s Waldo? series (Handford), 21
Winnicott, Donald, 53–58, 63, 68, 87, 126, 128, 136–37
wisdom, and compassion, 51–52