by Chloe Garner
She sat down next to Dennis and looked at him. He rolled his head all the way to the side.
“Do you eat them?” he asked.
“No,” she answered. “But I’m going to learn how to get rid of them.”
He raised his upper lip in a motion like a snarl, but it looked an awful lot like approval, all the same.
She looked around the room. It was very much like that first day, with all of the attention directed at her without anyone actually looking at her other than Trevor. His expression was hungry enough to make her blush.
“I see them,” she said. She had no idea what she was doing, but they were here to see who she was. That was what they were going to get. “I believe you, and I believe that none of you are… crazy, in the way that I did before I came here. I think that you’ve been dealing with a reality that exists and that… I believe that you need me to help control that reality. I’m staying, and I’m going to learn.”
“They killed the angel,” someone whispered, and Lizzie looked in the right direction, not sure who had actually spoken.
“I’m not afraid,” she said. “I’m here for a reason, and I’m going to do my job.”
“You can’t,” Sybil said. Lizzie looked over at her.
“What does that mean?”
“You can’t do it,” Sybil said. “I know. They told me.”
“They don’t talk,” Lizzie said, looking at Trevor, who shrugged unhelpfully.
“They told me,” Sybil said ominously. Lizzie shook her head and stood.
“Look around.”
She motioned, arms open, and spun part of the way around, taking in the entire front room.
“Look.”
She paused.
“There aren’t any of them left. I’ve sent them away. I’m not Lara, and I’m never going to be, but I can do what I need to do.”
There was an agitated silence and she waited.
“That’s it,” she said. “You’ve seen me. I’m here. I’m not going to do any tricks to prove it, but Trevor believes me and Robbie believes me, and if I’m not mistaken, that’s all that matters.”
She hoped she’d gotten the tribal structure right, but something about the resistance in the room broke down. She nodded, feeling her way forward to winning with them.
“Now, if I’m also not mistaken, you deal with an awful lot of furlings everywhere you go, and if you want good food, you’re most often going to find it here. I’m going to go shopping, and then I’m making breakfast. Anyone who is here when I get done is welcome to stay and eat.”
She went back to her room and got her purse, and she came back to an agitated but at least nominally sated room of hooligans.
It was unmistakable. Like hanging out downtown and watching a group of people go by, you just knew that at any moment they were going to sprout spray paint cans and crow bars or bricks and just go mad. But for right now, this moment, they were contained, wandering, not quite talking to each other. Robbie was still, looking up at the ceiling with an expression she knew but still didn’t understand, still even now. Trevor was waiting at the door.
“I figure you won’t mind company,” he said, and she shrugged.
“Certainly won’t mind someone to carry bags.”
He grinned and opened the door for her. She looked over her shoulder.
“Are they going to be okay?”
“Always have been,” Trevor said dismissively and closed the door. There was a moment’s jagged hesitation as the door closed, and then he pulled her face close and kissed her hard. Her fingernails found the skin on the back of his neck and she bit his lips. There was nothing nice about it, nothing kind or sentimental. But there was nothing impersonal about it, either. She wanted to rip his clothes off and devour his skin against hers, and the way he held her, she knew that if he could get his thoughts organized for long enough, that was exactly where they were headed.
She pulled her face away and he grabbed the base of her neck and pulled her back against him again, air in gasps. She tipped her head back and pulled him away by the collar of his jacket.
“Going shopping,” she said, trying to find the matching lipstick smears on her face with the back of one hand while she wiped at the ones on his mouth with her thumb. He came after her hand with his mouth and she pushed him away.
“Shopping,” she said, still catching her breath.
“I heard you the first time.”
She turned her head down and glared, but that seemed to be even more of a come-on, and she was prying his fingers away again.
“Not yet,” she said, brushing her lips against his and pulling away again. “Not yet.”
He grunted, and she shook her head, starting toward her car again. He grabbed her wrist and turned it up to show the tattoo there, kissing it hard, and then wrapping her hand firmly in his.
“You don’t take no for an answer very well,” she said and he grinned at her across the roof of the car.
“I don’t often have people tell me no,” he said. “I just kind of do what I want.”
“Clearly.”
He grinned wider and got in, and they looked at each other as she held up the keys to put them in the ignition.
How had she missed the dent in the door?
“My car doesn’t run,” she said. He wiped his mouth with his thumb and his index finger and nodded.
“I’ll look at it when we get back. It might still be simple.”
She shook her head.
“They shot my car.”
“Got your attention, didn’t it?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her, and she glowered back.
“There had to have been an easier way,” she said and he shook his head.
“Clearly there wasn’t.”
She sighed and got out.
“I guess we’re walking?”
“Not like I ever do anything else,” he answered with a shrug and started down the driveway, waiting at the sidewalk to take her hand again.
He all but skipped as they went down the sidewalk, but she was watching everything. She could feel them, everywhere, not necessarily close, but not far away, skittering around, dodging and hiding and tinkering.
“Is this how you always feel?” she asked.
“Which part?” he answered. She pointed.
“Behind that trash can.”
He nodded.
“Probably going to find some kind of creature to coax in there to jump out the next time they open it,” Trevor said. “That one never gets old. Dumping it over, that gets boring.”
She glanced at him and he grinned.
“Yes. They’re everywhere, and they’re always up to something. I’m surprised you slept as well as you did.”
She’d slept like the dead. She had a feeling she wasn’t going to get that luxury tonight.
“Do you think they believe me?” she asked, looking back at the house. He stopped and took her other hand, dropping his head to look her dead in the eye.
“I think you said exactly what you needed to say. I believe you and Robbie believes you, and the rest of them can go to hell.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Nope,” he said. “I did.”
She sighed.
“It’s a lot.”
“It is.”
“And Lara did… She did, didn’t she? She did a great job.”
“Never knew an angel who cared more for the pack,” Trevor said with a nod.
“I guessed.”
He laughed, continuing on.
“You’ve got it harder than she did, though. She had her whole life to deal with the same thing you’ve had twelve hours to work on, and she was married to Robbie, the best fighter on her side. You… You’re sleeping with the demon.”
“Am not,” she retorted, just to fight with him.
“Will be,” he said with a warm humor.
“Oh, I’m that much of a sure thing?” she asked.
“Yup.”
“You know I could
cut you off, just for that.”
“But you won’t.”
“Why is that?”
He turned to look at her, not stopping, and she watched him back, wanting to hear what he would say. Instead he grinned and something near her spine turned to jelly. She swallowed, looking for a heated retort, but found nothing.
“You’ve never had a real relationship,” she said.
“Don’t want one,” he said.
“What if I do?”
Now he stopped. He was still close, still all scent and heat and chemical reaction, but she held firm.
“What is it you want?” he asked.
She shook her head. She hadn’t wanted to push it to this. Not this morning. But there was something in the question, some hidden temptation that she couldn’t put her finger on, that she had to answer.
She didn’t know what she wanted any more than she knew who she was. Yesterday, maybe, she’d have had an answer for him.
“What if I want what Robbie and Lara had?”
“Two weeks ago, you thought that that was a cult worshipper and his drug dealer,” he said.
“Times change,” she answered, and he flashed a grin.
“You want the big dress and the string section of the orchestra,” he said and she shrugged.
“I never gave up on it,” she agreed.
“I don’t do that,” he said.
“I can tell.”
He nodded.
“You shouldn’t count on me to be honorable,” he said. “That’s the only warning you’re going to get.”
“You shouldn’t count on me to give up,” she answered. “That’s the only warning you’re going to get.”
He wrapped his arms around her, smothering her head against his chest in a playful, bearish sort of way. She wrestled her way away and he took off running.
“How old are you?” she called after him. “Twelve?”
He tossed back his head and laughed, stopping at the intersection.
“You know what I can do today?” he asked.
“What’s that?” she replied, catching him.
“Cross the street,” he said, walking backwards. She darted forward and grabbed him, pulling him back onto the sidewalk.
“You know that’s how people get hit by busses,” she said.
“When there are furlings involved,” he said. “But they haven’t got the measure of you yet, and they’re keeping their distance. Nothing is going to go wrong just because I was here, today.”
She couldn’t help but smile, and she tucked her arm around his waist and stood, waiting for a gap in traffic.
“You know the only reason I’m bringing you is to help carry things,” she said.
“Is that a fact?” he asked, his face buried in her hair. She swallowed.
“Just the help,” she said with a nod, trying not to let her eyes flutter closed. She heard him grin.
“Then I’d best live up to it.”
“Yup. I’ve got to say, I’m not that impressed with the choice, from looking at you.”
He stepped away holding his arms out.
“What?” he asked. “This? You’re questioning this?”
He looked like a strong breeze might take him out.
“I think you’d be puffing to carry two gallons of milk back to the house, not to mention breakfast for twenty.”
“Oh, you’re underestimating me, darling,” he said. “I’m wirier than I look.”
“Wiry, “she said and he nodded. She grinned and shook her head.
“I’ll believe that when I see it.”
Their opening came and they dashed across two lanes to the turn lane and then paused, darting again. He walked backwards, looking at traffic as it continued behind them.
“Not a tire screech or anything,” he said.
“You’d think you’d never crossed a road before,” she said, grabbing his elbow and pulling him through the parking lot. They got to the sidewalk, and he twined his arm around hers to hold her hand.
“I watched you sleep all last night,” he said.
“I know,” she said.
“You make a lot of funny sounds in your sleep,” he told her, and she glowered at him. He nodded, licking the corner of his mouth, then nodded again. “But you were never afraid. I’m not even sure you have bad dreams. Do you?”
“Sometimes,” she said, not sure where this was going.
“My fearless angel,” he said. “Not many would have stuck with us, after the reception you got.”
“Dennis was something else,” she said, and he grinned.
“Dennis is something else.”
“I’m not going to run away,” she said.
“That’s what it looked like to me, last night,” he said.
“There was nothing else I could do,” Lizzie said. “Robbie had his life and I could either try to blow it up in hopes of making something better, or I could just… let it be.”
Her boss. It was Monday morning and she wasn’t at work. She was going to have to e-mail him… She had no idea what she was going to say.
“And it didn’t have anything to do with me?” he asked innocently.
“No,” she said. “I was mad at you, but my decision didn’t have anything to do with you.”
“Would you have stayed, if I’d asked?” he asked.
“No,” she said. Mercy was fast. “No, I might have stayed another day or two, but not more than that. I knew that… I knew that I couldn’t stay for a man that I thought was that completely unaware of what was real and what wasn’t.”
They walked. It was comfortable, but she had to know.
“Why didn’t you kiss me?” she asked. He glanced at her without turning his head.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes you do.”
A furling scampered away from him and she turned to watch it. It made it to the wall and hissed at her, then jumped up to the window sill and melded through it.
She looked back at him.
“Come on. Yes you do.”
“I’m the demon,” he said. “I don’t worry about consequences.”
“You ride the bus for hours on end for fear of causing an accident when you cross the street. Robbie and Lara both said that you’re more careful than anyone, trying to keep bad things from happening. Don’t lie to me.”
He stopped short, then pushed her up against one of the wide brick columns at the front of the covered sidewalk. He held her shoulders against the brick, at arm’s length.
“I’m the demon,” he said. “You’re the angel. This doesn’t happen. And you weren’t even the angel yet. I’m stronger than you. And I will be for a long time. I don’t know what I’m going to do to you.”
“Yes you do,” she said playfully, then pulled her head to the side, feeling the residual sense of his fingers in her hair. It made her shiver. “Why did you stop? Tell me.”
“You weren’t ready,” he said, dropping his arms and pacing away. She waited, assuming he would circle back. “If I’d have done something to turn you into the angel, the real angel, out there by ourselves… You needed Robbie. You needed to be at the house. Someplace Lara made safe. They might have gotten excited and just killed you. Bad things happen around me.”
He wasn’t even looking at her anymore. She waited until he got close to her again and she grabbed his elbow, pulling him off balance so that he tipped against her, and she put her hands on either side of his face.
“I’m not afraid,” she said. “Look around. You look around at who’s afraid right now. You look.”
He was only an inch away, intent, nervous. His fingers played with the hem of her shirt with a sort of agitation that she’d seen so many times before.
He nodded, resting his forehead against hers.
“You’re right,” he said. He took a deep breath. “You’re right.”
She kissed him, just letting her lips touch his, and then kissed him again because that was just too little, all
by itself, pulling his mouth harder against his. The world didn’t spin this time, but his fingers closed hard on her ribs and he pulled her chest against his until she rolled her head back and away.
“I know that they killed her,” she said. “And I know that I’m a baby at this. But whatever it is that’s going on here… that’s got nothing to do with it. Right?”
“It has everything to do with it,” he murmured, resting his face against her cheek.
“No,” she said. “It doesn’t.”
He laughed, less playful than before.
“You don’t know anything, yet.”
“I will,” she answered. “Just give me time.”
He pushed his weight back up over his feet and offered her a hand. She smiled and he smiled back, and they went on.
They had breakfast to make.
***
She was washing the griddle when she noticed that various of the people in the living room were abandoning their plates and sneaking out. She let it go on for a few more minutes, then, glancing at Robbie to let him know she knew he was watching her, she went and sat on the coffee table across from Trevor. He looked like he’d expected her.
“I’m coming,” she said.
“I know,” he answered, putting another bite of pancake in his mouth and chewing contentedly.
“They’ll kill her,” Robbie said. It was a warning, not a protest. “They’ve always wanted to kill her.”
“They’re afraid of her, Robbie,” Trevor said, putting his fork down now and standing. “She can’t take them on, but that doesn’t change that they’re afraid of her.”
She nodded.
“She has limitations,” Robbie said. “We aren’t used to that.”
“She couldn’t do anything, three days ago,” Trevor said. “And she can’t do anything now.”
Robbie gave her a hard look, and she shrugged.
“They will kill you,” Trevor said. “You try to absorb any of them, and they might get excited and it could happen completely by accident. You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“You know anyone who can teach me how to be an angel?” she asked.
“Me,” he said.
“Then do it.”
He grinned and swayed to the side to look at Robbie.
“You heard the woman.”
Robbie grunted and Lizzie nodded, going to get her purse off the counter.
“First lesson,” he said. “No ID. We don’t get arrested very often, but if you do, you don’t tell them who you are.”