by Brooke May
“I didn’t either.” Together, we laugh, and it feels great to be with family again and not have the worries that surrounded me previously. Glancing down at my watch, I’m shocked at the time. I’ve been here for a long-ass time, even though it doesn’t feel like it. “I’d better head home. Dad should be in by now.”
“I’ll give you a call once I get everything squared away.” Clapping me on the shoulder, Dale looks seriously into my matching gaze. “I appreciate you stepping up to fill this position, Duke. I can give you a couple of weeks to settle back in if you need time?”
“Nah, I’m good to start whenever you want me to.”
“I’ll hold you to that. Now, get home before your mom gets mad at me for hogging you on your first day back.” Laughing, he leads me out of the station.
It’s pitch dark out now, and the chill of winter is firmly in the air to stay. Turning up the collar of my jacket, I jump into my freezing truck to head home.
Going through town for old time’s sake, I stick to all the main streets. Instinct takes me right to the stoplight by the LaClare Family Grocery. I stop for the red light and glance over at my old stomping grounds. When we were kids, we would ride our bikes around in the parking lot, and as we got older, we would park our trucks off to one side to bullshit, no matter the weather.
Doing a double take, I look back at the abandoned parking lot, and my eyes focus on the car that looks out of place with flashlight beams glowing inside.
When the light turns green, my attention is drawn back to the road, but I keep glancing back at the car.
“Shit.”
The need to do the right thing pulls me to drive into the parking lot and forces me to get out of my running truck. The car is a rusted piece of shit. Who the fuck still drives a 1970s Ford Granada? Especially in this weather.
Groaning and yelling from the inside causes me to jump back. I knew there was someone in there, but I figured it was male, not a very female driver. Pulling out my phone, I turn on the flashlight app and shine it in the window as I knock.
I see the woman through the foggy jump before bending forward to roll it down.
And as the window drops, it reveals a face that has haunted me.
Holy fucking shit.
A shocked gasp rips from her as the most beautiful mouth I have ever placed mine against falls open.
“D-Duke?”
Chapter Eight
Duke
I’M FROZEN IN PLACE, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the temperature of the air starting to whip around me and Patience’s car.
Patience.
She owns this rusted pile of shit?
Where the hell is her truck?
The sight of her is pure light even in the metal death trap she is currently sitting in. It is like a blast from a bomb, the warmth hitting my face while I’m still at a safe distance. What the hell is she doing in her family’s store parking lot at this time of night? More importantly, what the hell she is doing in a car like this one?
She’s here, actually here before me just like I always wanted.
But as I openly stare down at her, matching her shock with my own, she looks so different to me. Her hair is much shorter, and she looks thinner than I remember, but there is something else, something not sitting right with me. She still looks as beautiful as the morning I left her, but she is just a shell of the girl I always loved.
I can tell by the tired look in her eyes. Her hair is short and barely pokes out from under her knitted winter cap, but I’m positive it is still the same beautiful ash blond. Along with my heart and lungs, my eyes are the only part of me that wants to work at the moment. Trailing my gaze down, I lock contact with her eyes once more.
The haunted, drowning in sorrow gaze completely guts me. I had a part in that expression. I left her when I should have taken her with me. I don’t know how we would have worked it out, but we would have done it somehow.
Together.
My natural protective instinct to come to her rescue begins to flood my chest.
I cannot believe it’s really her.
Amber eyes narrow with my lack of response to her. My shock from seeing her has completely beguiled me, and I’m left with a swelling tongue and the inability to say anything.
No hi, how the hell are you?
Nothing.
“Duke?” The breath that billows out in front of her starts to mix with my own in the air between us. The fog on her windows start to clear with the fresh cold air. Her voice still doesn’t shake me from my stupor.
It isn’t until I see her start to visibly shake that the cold starts to hit me.
I’m not in the warmest of jackets, and the chill seeps into my bones. The need to get her out of the car I still can’t believe her fucking dumbass husband let her drive, pull her into my warm embrace that will really welcome me home, and get her into my truck where I know she will be warm is strong.
“Come on, Patience.” Mumbling, I try to open the door, but she pushes the lock down to keep me out. “Patience?”
“Now he speaks.” She sneers back at me. “Go away. I don’t need your help.”
“It doesn’t look that way to me.” Tilting my head to the side, I try to bring her eyes back to mine. “Just let me get you home.” This time, I unlock the door and pull it open before she can roll the window up.
“I’m not going anywhere with you, Duke Michaels.” Her teeth are clenched together, keeping her from shivering while giving me a taste of the old Patience LaClare attitude I grew up with.
Trying extremely hard not to smile at her, I grab her hand and pull her out.
“You are going to come with me. If you think I’m going to leave you in this piece of shit car, you are dead wrong, woman.” Even with all my strength, I can’t lift her from the seat she’s planted her tiny ass in. “What are you? Frozen to your seat? I know I’m back, but you don’t need to be scared shitless to move, snowflake.”
Attempting to jerk her hand from mine, she’s useless at getting me to release her. “I don’t need a goddamn handout, Duke!”
“It’s not a handout; it’s an offer to get your freezing ass home before you get sick.” This time when I pull, she comes out of the car but stops briefly to grab a bag and her keys. “See? It isn’t hard.”
“Wipe that self-satisfying smile from your face.” Stepping away from her car, she slips and slides right into my chest. The instant heat that hits me has nothing to do with the heat from our bodies. It is something deep and primal, her energy and soul calling for me to claim her, protect her, and make her mine in every way.
“Sorry.” She shoves away from me and fixes her hat. “I don’t need a ride, Duke.” Turning to her bag, she pulls it onto one shoulder.
“Really? Is your dad coming to get you?”
“No.” Looking away, I don’t let her take a single step away when I’m cupping her chin and turning her face back to me. “He’s not. I can walk home.”
“At this time of night and in this cold?” I bark out a bitter laugh.
“Yes.”
“Will you quit with the bag.” I take it from her fidgeting hands and toss it over my shoulder. “Did you even call anyone?”
She looks down.
“Patience, did you call someone to come help you?”
“I forgot my phone,” she mumbles, refusing to look at me.
“Where? In the building?”
Why does this woman have to be so difficult?
Seven years and she is still just as difficult as the last time we got into an argument.
“Can we finish talking about this in the truck?”
“It’s at home.” She takes a careful step, moving her tiny frame closer to my truck.
Sighing because I don’t know how else to handle her at the moment, I don’t want to risk pissing her off and then having to fight to get her into my truck to see her safely home. “It’s cold. Come on, snowflake.” She stumbles with her next step, but I’m there to catch her
. Jerking out of my hold, she rights herself as though nothing caused her to falter.
When she hops into the passenger side of my truck and buckles herself in, I’m happy with the small victory. I waste no time getting in because I don’t want to risk her changing her mind like she is prone to do.
“So, where to?”
“My grandma’s house.” That is all she offers when she turns to look out the window rather than at me.
“All right.” Putting the truck in gear once more, I turn back in the direction I just came from to climb the hill to take her to her grandma’s. Tension and unease saturate the atmosphere in the truck, and it’s incredibly uncomfortable.
How the hell do you start a conversation with someone you should have never wronged?
My neck starts to itch out of nerves, and I’m almost panicking when I get closer to the house. I don’t want to let her go yet, but I don’t—
“How long have you been back?”
I could drop dead with the amount of venom in her simple question.
Fuck, she isn’t going to make this easy.
Chapter Nine
Patience
THIS IS NOT HOW I imagined any reunion with Duke to be like.
The silence flooding this god-forsaken truck is enough to drive me mad. I’m just beginning to get my shit figured out again, and now I have to add Duke bugging me on top of it.
I guess that answers my unspoken question about if he was coming home or not.
Inwardly snorting, I don’t like the memories starting to fill my mind one bit as we draw closer to my house. In fact, it pisses me off far more than my car deciding that today was the day it was going to die, and that Duke, of all people, is who came to my rescue.
Typical fucking situation.
Something happens to me that warrants a rescue, and it’s Duke who comes to it. And of course he has to come back into my life when I feel like I’m steadily climbing out of the depths, and he’s all muscular, tall, lean, and rugged, looking sexy as hell.
Why does my life keep shitting on me? I’m trying to figure out who Patience is and what everything means to me, but now I have to add him back into this.
Does he want to pick up where we left off or just be friends? Maybe neither.
Keep dreaming, Patience. He probably has his own life now and is just taking pity on you.
My eyes automatically roll with that thought. I don’t like listening to that doubtful, weak part of me. That’s what got me into my current situation.
Unhappy.
Divorced.
Dealing with a piece of shit car.
And now stuck at the mercy of my giant ex-best friend.
How do I manage to get into these things?
The memory of the last time I was in this truck hits me like a sledgehammer. It was the last night I saw him. The last night I had all my friends in one place. Out of all of them, I’ve only seen Ryder a couple of times since they left. He had come home for his uncle’s funeral and stopped by the café to say hi. It was great seeing him, but like now, being in the truck I spent so much of my time in, my heart aches. They all left and became something more while I became stuck because of my own fear.
Not that I’ve ever minded, but I could have had so much more out there. With Duke back, I feel as if I’ve stood in place for the past seven years while life was lived around me.
I don’t know what to do with the knowledge of him being back. Is he here on leave? Or is he here to stay? Did he bring a family with him?
Ah!
I need to quit thinking about this. He isn’t answering me on purpose. He wants me to dwell on my thoughts until I give in to him and his unspoken questions.
Well, fuck him.
“I’m home for good now,” he rushes out, turning up the hill that leads to my house. He takes the corner just as sharply as he answers me. The drive home isn’t that long. The minutes quieted between us are short, but it still feels like we are driving out to his parents’ house rather than mine.
I’m not satisfied with his answer. There has to be more to it than just him coming home.
Or is there?
My dormant courage starts to flare up. I want to ask him if he came home with a family or in the hopes of seeing me, but I don’t know why I need to put myself through this hell. I attempted to move on with my life after he left, so what stopped him from doing the same?
Oh, Patience, just stop it right now.
Just as I’m ready to ask him all the questions I have swarming in my mind, they fade and dip back into the hole where they were hidden. My entire body sags when we pull onto my street and up to my house.
I’m thankful I turned my porch light on before I left this morning. It isn’t the greatest for the utility bill, but it beats falling on my ass while making my way up the stairs and fumbling to find the keyhole.
“Thanks, Duke.”
With the right key between my fingers, I hop out of the truck before he even gets a chance to put it in park and carefully sprint up to my door, ignoring Duke’s muffled shouts.
“Patience, wait!”
My front door slams behind me before he can even shut his truck door to come after me. Locking both the deadbolt and the regular lock, I try to catch my breath as I sink to a confused pool on the floor.
“Why are you so afraid?” My head lightly thumps against the hard wood of my door just as the rumbling of Duke’s truck gets extremely loud before he pulls out of the driveway and away from my house.
He didn’t even try to get to me.
I shouldn’t feel like this right now, as if my heart was ripped out all over again by him not staying, but I do. And I understand why he didn’t. I’m not easy to reason with when I was the old Patience, and I don’t know how to do any of that again.
I don’t really understand what I’m so afraid of either. Duke being home should bring me joy rather than this bunched-up mix of emotions I can’t even begin to organize.
I’m glad my best friend is alive and well and made his way home safely. I’m happy he is returning to a place he wanted to call home while we were growing up, even when others said they wanted to leave. What I’m not happy about is that I know nothing about him anymore. How can I call him my best friend now after that night and then after a decade of not talking to him?
I haven’t talked to him once since he left me. In the beginning, I had sent a few emails to an address I had of his, but I have no idea if he ever read them. I began to doubt he even used that email anymore, so I quit writing to him. His phone was left behind along with his truck and a good majority of his clothes and other possessions he couldn’t take with him.
Just like me.
“No.” I will not think like that. I am sick and tired of feeling sorry for myself. I’m tired of others feeling sorry for me as well. I’m not some poor girl Greg used, abused, and threw away. I’m a goddamn woman who left her abusive spouse to make her life hers again.
Fuck that shit.
I don’t need Greg.
And I sure as hell don’t need another male—especially a dominant one like Duke—in my life either.
Lost in my thoughts, I jump up and away from the door as the doorknob turns above my head. Rushing to get my shotgun, I’m stopped when my dad walks in.
“D-Dad?”
“Hey.” Looking around the darkened room, he raises a brow. “Why are you running for the closet, pumpkin?”
“Umm … nothing.” Plastering on the fakest smile I can muster, I stand straight and pull my hat off just as I flick one of the lights on. “I was just getting in.”
“I know.” I don’t have to look at him to know he is running a hand down his beard. “I saw Duke leaving when I came up the street. Where is your car?”
Fucking hell.
“At the store.” There is no point in covering up the truth. Unwrapping myself from my winter layers, I refuse to meet my dad’s gaze. I’m wondering why he knew to come here.
I made sure to give them
a new set of keys today before they left.
“I knew I shouldn’t have let you drive that piece of shit.” His tall body thumps into his spot on my couch.
“Is that why you stopped by?”
At least he knows he’s been caught and owns it with a sheepish smile. “I wanted to check on you. You usually call when you get home to let us know, but you hadn’t, and your mom was worried.”
Of course, she was.
So was he. Actually, I think he is hoping to show up with Greg here to have an excuse to kick his ass.
“Well, I’m home and no problems except for my car. You can go home now.”
“Don’t pull that with me.” He gets up and follows me into the kitchen. “We are worried.”
“About me?” I stare down at my clean counters. What can I do to get him to see I’m okay?
“Of course.” His warm, weathered hands wrap around my shoulders, making me feel as small as I used to be. “Are you okay?”
“Dad, I’m fine.” Shrugging him off doesn’t work. I stand here in silence, sadly hoping it will make my dad uncomfortable and get him to leave. I’m also tired of people worrying about me. What’s there to worry about? I divorced an asshole and reclaimed my life. I do feel happier with my life now, and I am doing okay.
People should have been worried when he hit me. When I let him abuse my body, mind, and soul, but they didn’t look at me then like they do now.
I want to yell at everyone and tell them to quit dwelling on me and let the past stay back behind me while I move forward.
“Duke being back could be a good thing.”
Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and turn back to face him. He knows me too well. I never tried to hide anything from my parents. My mom knew the next morning that I had been with Duke. She also knew something no one besides me knew about my baby. She told Dad, but neither of them ever offered to tell anyone else the truth. It’s part of our trust circle.
My smile shakes as I nod my head.
“Yeah, I think you could be right.”
I mean it, I really do. No matter who came home with him, Duke still knows me better than anyone. It was true back then, and it remains true today. I need to be happy that my friend is home.